Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > taking up smoking to die at age 69
 
  • Post
  • Reply
beer pal

 doc: you know smoking takes 5 years off your life
[doing the math]: perfect

* # ? Jan 27, 2020 22:25
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:21
  • Quote
pixaal

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


 The doctor is a liar and a con artist for I am an immortal robot.



sig by owlhawk911
* # ? Jan 27, 2020 22:52
  • Quote
pixaal

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


 I'm also powered by burning a waste plant from my time line called tobacco



sig by owlhawk911
* # ? Jan 27, 2020 22:52
  • Quote
Heather Papps

hello friend


 if it didn't work for kurt vonnegut it might not work for you



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

* # ? Jan 27, 2020 23:07
  • Quote
beer pal

 thats the march of science.. learning from those who came before... one day we'll all bea ble to die at age 69

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

* # ? Jan 27, 2020 23:12
  • Quote
beer pal

 [at the alchemist] take this tincture in the rhine and you shall die at 69

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

* # ? Jan 27, 2020 23:57
  • Quote
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


 should only take about 420 packs

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 00:51
  • Quote
Heather Papps

hello friend


 checks the math for the third time.... a sob echoes throughout the bare room, windows painted black.
CRASH, the table flips over, spilling papers and abacussess

"if... if i die sixty nine years old it'll be december 31st 1968.... if i die in '69 i'll be 70.... ABBA FATHER WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!!!!"



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 00:54
  • Quote
Robot Made of Meat

 Please don't.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
* # ? Jan 28, 2020 03:06
  • Quote
beer pal

 i guess i could just work on getting my cholesterol up instead?

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 03:12
  • Quote
google THIS

 (the clock strikes midnight, the beginning of my 70th birthday) Ok, new plan. Time to start cramming down omega 3's and antioxidants so I can live to 420.

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 03:49
  • Quote
French Accent

 uploading my brain to the internet so i can experience my 42069th and 69420th year

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 04:16
  • Quote
Yinlock

 *furiously smoking packs as the clock inches towards midnight and my 70th birthday* why did i put this off so long gently caress


* # ? Jan 28, 2020 05:33
  • Quote
alexandriao


 I'm not alive, and by my calendar it is -69 all the time.

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 05:35
  • Quote
DeathCrabForCutie
oh fuc-
Cryogenically freeze yourself until 2420, because then there's 2 of them.


sig by Pot Smoke Phoenix!

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 18:07
  • Quote
Tomfoolery

 Famous last words of Beer Pal, philanthropist and luminary, who died at 69:

quote:

nice.
* # ? Jan 28, 2020 20:22
  • Quote
Piso Mojado

 just like kobe


* # ? Jan 28, 2020 20:31
  • Quote
the unabonger
 ah yes

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 21:00
  • Quote
the unabonger
 the "chill" suicide attempt.

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 21:01
  • Quote
Barco Fiesta




a fantasy of olives
me at the funeral: nice

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 21:36
  • Quote
ulvir

 smoke three 20 packs a day and you'll be at the funny number 420 each week, should get you to 69 but not much further

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 22:44
  • Quote
ulvir

 [COPD voice] ni..*coughing fit* ...ce *harks*

* # ? Jan 28, 2020 22:45
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:21
  • Quote
FutonForensic

 i love big tobacco... to death!!


* # ? Jan 29, 2020 00:18
  • Quote
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > taking up smoking to die at age 69