- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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i;m the Kitten King, i've got 3 litters i rescued from the cistern under my deck. people can come by and look at them if they want but you can't pick em up and if the kittens dont want pets you can't force it
i thought that was fine but apparently the fascists down at the Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Dispensehry have accused me of "exploiting babies in a 'Cash-for-Boops' scheme." now i gotta go to Kitten Court and defend myself to the Adorable Judge. im gonna bring some dancers and crinkle balls to try and win them over to my side.
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Mar 31, 2020 19:57
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- Adbot
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Apr 26, 2024 01:03
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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offering my two big handsome tabbies a shred of turkey sandwich meat only to have the tips of my fingers brushed by their tiny lil teefs
crimes
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Mar 31, 2020 20:03
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- Macnult
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making lo-fi hiphop beats about karen, my lovely neighbor who thinks having cats chase after a laser pointer is abuse
who's the one declawing their cats, karen?? hmm??? gently caress you karen
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Mar 31, 2020 20:55
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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a thousandaire marrying a runaway 19 year old only for her to turn around and murder him in WOW
crimes
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Mar 31, 2020 21:01
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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now she runs a virtual pet shelter for sparkly tigers and whatever the gently caress neopets become after you feed em at midnight
crimes
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Mar 31, 2020 21:01
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- Fredrik1
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Gopherslayer
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I forgot to feed my tamagotchi last month
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Mar 31, 2020 22:25
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- nut
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calling myself sim a because I own two f20 bengals and acting tough because I have a loving wife but sometimes look at pictures of anime women on twitter
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Mar 31, 2020 22:50
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- Escape From Noise
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I'm the kitten sex cult leader
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Apr 1, 2020 05:55
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- Escape From Noise
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Running for city comptroller and entering the annual dog parade with my kittens as a publicity stunt.
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Apr 1, 2020 05:59
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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turning myself into a stool pidgeon cuz the feds busted me with an illegal lemur plush doll
I'm the kitten sex cult leader
real talk if a dude is competent enough to raise a kitten he's probably a decent gently caress, so this tracks
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Apr 1, 2020 06:56
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- Escape From Noise
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Gave my landscaper $300 to knock on Karen's door and flip her off when she answered. Said he'd get $100 more after the deed was done. The guy just took my money and ran off to Hooters with it, I heard he blew the rest on candy.
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Apr 1, 2020 07:08
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- Escape From Noise
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Hiding some kittens in my coat so I can bring them into the McDonald's with me. So I can get a few hugs from the soccer moms.
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Apr 1, 2020 10:30
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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partnering up with some Ventrue from the local college Masquerade LARP to corner the market on videos of kittens falling asleep under a basset hounds ears.
crimes
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Apr 1, 2020 15:02
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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practicioners of tkm (traditional kitten massage) all gettin their cares muffined away by the smolest babies possible
crimes
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Apr 1, 2020 20:25
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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standing in a toy store, looking at but not touching pellet guns, imagining just the sickets john woo poo poo where i leap past a flaming doorway and shoot lil plastic bits at mean faces drawn on upturned pizza boxes
crimes
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Apr 2, 2020 16:25
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Apr 26, 2024 01:03
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Mar 31, 2020 19:57
<3 
<3 Vanisher 
