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Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy
when you step into a waffle house, you had better be ready for anything. you could be attacked at any moment. i am not kidding, waffle house is the real deal. it's like the octagon. steel yourself

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTMVsEtLVsw

i have personally witnessed three waffle house fights. i grew up in a part of the united states where if you had nothing better to do in the night hours, you were probably going to hang out at waffle house because it was the only thing that was open all night long. your choices were: the woods somewhere, someone's parent's basement, driving in aimless circles, wal-mart, waffle house. so i've spent many hours just sitting in a waffle house, watching the world happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54hUj_gnjIw

fights happen in waffle house more frequently than most because in much of the united states, as mentioned, it's the only game in town. if you were out drinking and dancing and decided to eat on the way home, or if you want a 2 am food run, you'll probably end up at waffle house. notice how in all these videos it's always night outside. i guarantee you nobody in these videos are sober. poo poo, sometimes you show up at waffle house after a big sports game or something waiting for someone to throw down, like a spectator sport

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gDsx_dGn_U

the first waffle house fight i saw, i don't know the origin of. there was some shouting in the back room. if you've never been in a waffle house, they're all laid out pretty similar, in diner style. the kitchen is open and in the same room as the dining area. there's a small stock room/office/break room behind a swinging door. there was some shouting in this room then two women came bursting out, grappling with each other. it was an employee dispute, and the rest of the grill staff had to stop cooking for a minute to separate the two. no blood was spilled so after one employee was shown the door, operations resumed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0syIigYyzU

the second fight was just incoherent and alcohol fueled. there were three bearded men sitting in a booth who just started slapping each other. im not sure if there was something they were angry about or if the whisky had boiled over and they needed to vent some aggression. the manager just started shouting at them to get the gently caress out and these three guys just sort of ambled out the door while still open hand slapping each other on the face and shoulders. it was weird. they stood around in the parking lot and seemed to calm down once they got in the night air, their anger turning to confusion. they stood around long enough for the cops to roll up and one of them got cuffed and taken away. the other two guys left without paying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml-zPYS4lQw

the third one i remember most clearly, and it happened in the daytime too. some guy came in yelling and screaming at the head cook about how the cook needed to stop loving the guy's wife. the cook denied it, called the guy by his first name, and told him to get the gently caress out. manager was already on the phone with the cops. then an employee comes from outside (smoke break) and starts talking to the guy like she's the wife i guess. guy says he knows they're loving and he's gonna tell everyone, and he's gonna gently caress up the cook real bad. then he calls the cook a racial slur. the cook vaults over the counter and kicks the guy squarely in his teeth. everyone, especially the cook, seems surprised for a moment that this happened. the guy picks himself up and bleeding all over, stumbles outside and away. the employee wife doesn't go after him but starts angrily talking to the cook, which hints to me that they definitely were loving. the cops came by and took a statement but that was the end of it. everyone sitting around who watched all that got a free slice of pie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O7qiYfD-e8

god bless america

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tetsuo
May 12, 2001

I am a shaman, magician
https://twitter.com/JakeMHS/status/1260025788759326720

this cook owns

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Excuse me........EXCUSE ME!!! I cannot believe that you posted this thread without including the October 2011 Tuscaloosa Waffle House fight. I consider myself something of a Waffle House fight connoisseur and it is one of the finest Waffle House fights ever recorded. The slow buildup as the fat bro dude asks if it's ok if he smokes, the gathering storm of gangsters outside the dub house, the rallying cry of "They talkin' poo poo!" and finally the fight itself in all it's chaotic glory. Not to mention the unshakable bravery of the camera man to shove through the crowd and record the fight from like 3 inches away. I have watched hundreds of Waffle House/Denny's/Mc Donalds fights and I can say without any doubt this is the Citizen Kane of late night diner fights :colbert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YKrw-2njeI

Koishi Komeiji fucked around with this message at 03:43 on May 13, 2020

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

Not a fight but my favorite Waffle House memory was from a summer in high school. A week earlier some friends of mine were drunk and loving around and one of them busted his eye up pretty bad on a fall. Big swollen bruise.

Anyway the next weekend we were paying our checks and this group of three guys were all "oh poo poo dog that looks bad, you alright man?" and he explained it was all bruising, no bones broke and one of the guys responded "good deal n----, just as long as you gently caress hoes and count money."

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

I won like $6000 from the slots once and went to enjoy some late night breakfast.

As we were leaving a bunch of drunk dudes surrounded us, and one of them picked me up from behind around the stomach (I'm 6'4 so this was a first) and I was terrified my overflowing wallet against his dick might get me mugged, but they went merrily on their hootin hollerin way.

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