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*licks own b-hole while sitting on living room floor* |
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Jul 31, 2020 22:48
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 06:30 |
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My boss taking a picture of me looking ashamed while holding a sign saying "I used all the paper in the printer and didn't refill it"
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Jul 31, 2020 23:02
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vanisher posted:My boss taking a picture of me looking ashamed while holding a sign saying "I used all the paper in the printer and didn't refill it"
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Jul 31, 2020 23:04
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no dad YOU stop molting at the dinner table! |
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Jul 31, 2020 23:37
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vanisher posted:My boss taking a picture of me looking ashamed while holding a sign saying "I used all the paper in the printer and didn't refill it" |
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Jul 31, 2020 23:38
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**looks in the mirror and sees Rob Schneider**
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 31, 2020 23:45
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:**looks in the mirror and sees Rob Schneider** lmfao
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Jul 31, 2020 23:46
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vanisher posted:My boss taking a picture of me looking ashamed while holding a sign saying "I used all the paper in the printer and didn't refill it" Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:**looks in the mirror and sees Rob Schneider**
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Aug 1, 2020 10:50
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as goeth prof. crocodile... |
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Aug 1, 2020 12:21
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the cashier takes my change and closes it in his left fist, I watch him shake around his hands but I know it’s still in his left fist. when the movements stop I gently tap the fist. he opens his hand. the change is gone. god is not real.
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Aug 1, 2020 13:20
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Society is treating me like an animal, but I guess one of those super cool rare ones? Like the endangered species kind? They put me in the zoo but they built it up to be my natural habitat, my favorite cool chill local dive bar. They invite my friends over so I don't get lonely and we just hang out and drink while people gaze on like the viewers of an episode of "Cheers" watching us have a good time. Usually we are having too much fun to really notice, its just like having the people you don't know at the bar that are appreciating how good of a time you are having! There is even a back room that is basically a bedroom with a nice bed, TV, and a computer with high speed internet among other stuff in case I want to be alone or just crash out, or take someone back with me for whatever. So Society has treated me like an animal and moved me into the zoo, but I just live here rent free, drink and hang out with my friends in my dive bar habitat and room, and chill. So I act like an animal. A party animal.
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Aug 1, 2020 13:50
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bradley tells me to go deep and motions with the football. i'm in shock, i never thought he was very fond of me, never thought the football team really cared for me either. but here i am, running down the field, breaking into a full sprint. i turn and see his arm release, cheers echo towards me as the throng of my new friends point into the distance. it's almost night now and i'm still frantic, they left hours ago happy and laughing, and i still search for the ball, happy knowing that i've made new friends today. |
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Aug 1, 2020 13:58
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Luvcow posted:bradley tells me to go deep and motions with the football. i'm in shock, i never thought he was very fond of me, never thought the football team really cared for me either. but here i am, running down the field, breaking into a full sprint. i turn and see his arm release, cheers echo towards me as the throng of my new friends point into the distance. it's almost night now and i'm still frantic, they left hours ago happy and laughing, and i still search for the ball, happy knowing that i've made new friends today. there's nothing in the rulebook that says a luvcow can't play football. 
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Aug 1, 2020 15:26
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Twenty Four posted:Society is treating me like an animal, but I guess one of those super cool rare ones? Like the endangered species kind? They put me in the zoo but they built it up to be my natural habitat, my favorite cool chill local dive bar. |
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Aug 1, 2020 15:26
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The video where I get shot by a tranquilizer, earmarked, and then let go to fend for myself on the African savanna has several million views on youtube |
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Aug 1, 2020 15:30
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Me as a penguin, hoping to end up in a attenborough documentary: oh oops *steps on a banana peel, slides down the iceberg* gently caress
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Aug 1, 2020 15:35
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my boss: Aw, great job nut! Here's a raise. nut: WHAT YOU THINK I NEED IMMEDIATE AND OVER REWARD HUH U TRYING TO TRAIN ME? my boss: please stop dragging your rear end on my carpet nut: IT'S ALL OR NOTHING BABY, YOU MAKE THE CALL
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Aug 1, 2020 15:41
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nut posted:my boss: Aw, great job nut! Here's a raise.
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Aug 1, 2020 16:01
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nut posted:my boss: Aw, great job nut! Here's a raise. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 1, 2020 16:09
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vanisher posted:My boss taking a picture of me looking ashamed while holding a sign saying "I used all the paper in the printer and didn't refill it" |
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Aug 1, 2020 18:32
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vanisher posted:My boss taking a picture of me looking ashamed while holding a sign saying "I used all the paper in the printer and didn't refill it" Luvcow posted:bradley tells me to go deep and motions with the football. i'm in shock, i never thought he was very fond of me, never thought the football team really cared for me either. but here i am, running down the field, breaking into a full sprint. i turn and see his arm release, cheers echo towards me as the throng of my new friends point into the distance. it's almost night now and i'm still frantic, they left hours ago happy and laughing, and i still search for the ball, happy knowing that i've made new friends today.
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Aug 1, 2020 18:37
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"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" "There's a cucumber in my house." "(sigh) You again, sir?" "I was eating!" "Sir, that isn't an emergency..." "(sobbing) It was right behind me!" |
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Aug 1, 2020 18:44
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my roommate, catching me hanging upside down from the door frame: so that's it, you're a bat now me, looking hastily away from the monster manual, open to the entry for "piercer": uh, yep, yep, a bat. say could you grab me a spoon from the kitchen? you can just walk right under me.
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Aug 1, 2020 18:49
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google THIS posted:"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
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Aug 1, 2020 18:58
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I have been yowling at this box of cheez-its for over two hours and nobody will dump some of it on the floor so I can eat it one piece at a time all weird with my sharp-only teeth |
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Aug 1, 2020 19:06
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google THIS posted:"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" fukcen lol |
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Aug 1, 2020 19:09
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google THIS posted:"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 1, 2020 19:10
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google THIS posted:"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
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Aug 1, 2020 19:16
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google THIS posted:"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" Manifisto posted:my roommate, catching me hanging upside down from the door frame: so that's it, you're a bat now |
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Aug 1, 2020 19:45
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https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 1, 2020 19:51
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Ah, Sunday morning, time to bask in the window light for four hours before slithering off to eat some bird eggs for breakfast |
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Aug 2, 2020 11:44
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People screaming and running away like crazy, they don't seem to know I won't hurt them until I'm done molting.
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Aug 2, 2020 17:07
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*lays on buffet table at fancy easter brunch, unhinges jaw, and slowly begins to swallow roast beef so you can see every detail as it moves down my gullet* |
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Aug 2, 2020 17:17
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 06:30 |
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Aug 2, 2020 20:54
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