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most babies don't manifest super powers until you shake them hard, repeatedly
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Sep 8, 2020 14:15
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 05:33 |
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bring them to the zoo and ask the keeper which animal seems the most likely to imbue superpowers via a bite on that particular day
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Sep 8, 2020 14:28
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Try being mean to the baby's mom. I hear that works.
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Sep 8, 2020 14:32
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gary oldmans diary posted:most babies that gestate less than 15 months in the womb never acquire super powers So your best chance of super-powered offspring is to have at least twins. Does the probability of super powers go up depending how long they're in there? Cos if so, at least one of Nadya Suleman's kids must be Superman by now. 72 months must give you at least the strength of ten men.
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Sep 8, 2020 16:17
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Sunswipe posted:So your best chance of super-powered offspring is to have at least twins. Does the probability of super powers go up depending how long they're in there? Cos if so, at least one of Nadya Suleman's kids must be Superman by now. 72 months must give you at least the strength of ten men. Either a supe or you end up with that twin cenobite from Hellraiser 4(?)
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Sep 8, 2020 17:20
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What if the baby is, in fact, so powerful that it's deceiving you in some way (MIND PROJECTION OR OTHER??) into thinking it's just a regular, stupid loving moron baby with idiot parents in order to go through it's whole life being completely undetected as a complete loser amongst a sea of morons?
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Sep 8, 2020 17:43
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i poo poo my pants this morning as an act of solidarity with your spawn OP
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Sep 8, 2020 17:46
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Great thread title, seriously 
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Sep 8, 2020 18:11
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I think it's just the height of cruelty to raise your child with superpowers. Frankly you should count your blessings. Most of the superheroes I know are merciless psychopaths and run around indiscriminately slaughtering people, animals, and aliens. One of my best friends was standing under Thor's hammer when he dropped it and we're still picking up the pieces.
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Sep 8, 2020 18:21
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Try dying their hair strange colors. That might alert the universe to their presence.
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Sep 8, 2020 22:34
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So what are you going to do about it, OP? I think you need to take some initiative and take your baby to the Large Hadron Collider and start making friends
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Sep 8, 2020 22:45
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The Management posted:It’s been several months and I’m not seeing any signs of super abilities of any kind, unless you consider the ability to produce endless drool a super power. Is this baby defective? Is there something I should be doing as a parent to improve this? Up, Down, Left, Right, Triangle on the start screen. Or try blowing in his cart slot. IDK where his cart slot is. You figure it out.
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Sep 8, 2020 23:43
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how's its poo poo smell op
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Sep 8, 2020 23:46
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Sunswipe posted:So your best chance of super-powered offspring is to have at least twins. Does the probability of super powers go up depending how long they're in there? Cos if so, at least one of Nadya Suleman's kids must be Superman by now. 72 months must give you at least the strength of ten men. Twin powers are extremely creepy, no thanks. 1redflag posted:So what are you going to do about it, OP? I think you need to take some initiative and take your baby to the Large Hadron Collider and start making friends It might be too late. If you’re going to do the zapped by radiation thing it’s either in utero or you might as well wait until they’re an adult. I don’t need a super powered baby with no limb control smashing everything and tearing my flesh off at feeding time
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Sep 8, 2020 23:54
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Perhaps the baby just hasn't been given its superhero garb yet?
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Sep 9, 2020 00:39
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i would begin tracking solar eclipse events that you could have your baby present for. it might not work until after puberty though if its gonna work at all
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Sep 9, 2020 06:10
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Give it a gun, that's a superpower.
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Sep 9, 2020 11:05
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Any wild animals around to abandon your child to? Wolves are traditional, but bears work too.
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Sep 9, 2020 14:42
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 05:33 |
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Cobalt-60 posted:Any wild animals around to abandon your child to? Wolves are traditional, but bears work too. settle down, remus
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Sep 9, 2020 14:44
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