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My pet squirrel spanks me with a fly swatter And I wake up on the floor in my nightgown I suppose I should tell her that I'm sorry But she'll just keep on hitting me with the swatter I've seen this movie before The squirrel-boy makes a fool out of me And every time I try to pull away I get smacked It's time for me to get out of here I should call the FBI and report this to them The squirrel-boy's not likely to change And I don't think I'll ever be better off 'Cause I don't have any idea where I'm going My best friend sent me a
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Oct 16, 2020 19:39
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 06:39 |
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The year is 2020. Shiddy, Lesser Shiddy, The Reverse Assman, and Pete Buttigieg have taken over the world. There's lots more like it. Sanders is just a mediocre college dropout and hipster — a lousy organizer, one of the few who has ever tried to help. He's got about as much brains as an endoscope. "Clinton is like a puzzle that you're never going to solve," Tad Devine, the Sanders consultant and author of "A Future to Believe In," told me. "It is going to be a challenge for Sanders to turn that public into being sold on the vision." Oh, and one last thing? In the past 30 years, Barack Obama
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Oct 16, 2020 19:56
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quote:Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now the furries are here to show us what they want - They want to see all humans as equal, but their true form is a homosexual elite, where gay sex and fairy-tale love fantasies rule.
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Oct 16, 2020 20:13
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I don't like this AI, sounds like a rapist.quote:I woke up, dazed and confused. He was on top of me, like on top of me. It felt like he was making my body move. And he was kissing me, like, like he was nibbling on me. And then he was pulling down my underwear. And I tried to get away, and he pulled me in and I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I was totally disoriented. But the next day I looked at the bruises."
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Oct 16, 2020 20:20
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Weaponized Autism posted:I don't like this AI, sounds like a rapist. Hey everyone, it's Milkshake AI! The adorable AI that loves milkshakes! *Five minutes later* We regret to inform you the AI is a rapist.
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Oct 16, 2020 20:25
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quote:Her eyes burned like torches, searing me to my core. I think for sure, she wasn't watching me as I ran away. did you guys already anime bomb this poor thing?
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Oct 16, 2020 20:27
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Tommy and Will have such good chemistry. Are there any fun stories you haven’t shared about them from the set? Sonnenfeld: Will has really nasty farts. I had to stop him from peeing in a drink. He was pooping in a grocery cart that was supposed to be attached to the baggage cart. David: You got a lot of likes from Twitter. Where were they coming from? Sonnenfeld: A lot of people like our first look of Sauron from The Lord of the Rings, and a lot of people saw Elrond dancing on Mount Doom. Those are two favorite things. We had some random stuff that came in, like you can see Imri's parentage in A-Rod's picture in the parking lot. There's a We the people" taunts the usual smattering of pundits now cackling with glee. Faced with the stuffy, propriety-bound ancien régime that is the Tory party, UKIP has unveiled a slogan - Vote 'til Death - which they may well manage to run on in London as well as here. It is a clever slogan and a brave one. UKIP may not have quite made it (a tribute to their talents is so far unsuccessful, for they are so direct and repugnant in their message) but it has the virtue of being entirely plausible.
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Oct 16, 2020 21:22
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Richard Lowtax Kyanka recently sold the Somethingawful.com comedy forums after allegations of domestic violence lead his legion of "goons" against him. He now spends what's left of his fortune on hookers sniffing their stinkers and smoking blow and blowing money at random through his 200,000 members' accounts and 100-page thread archives. It's a hell of a lot like a board where you had to wait weeks for a hooker. In the meantime, Kyanka's been giving secret talks on Don Rumsfeld-style war-games with Bay Area spooks from various camps, and he's moving into a new facility in northern Virginia with new data-storage solutions. Rumsfeld's other kids are collecting a windfall at Harry's Garage.
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Oct 16, 2020 21:52
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Why the long face jim, are you embarrassed? 'Cause I got this face. I could make you squeal with laughter if I want to. I can be a bit of a bastard, and that's all right. I can suck up to you and be your accomplice in all things 'cause I won't let them stop me from my mission. So why do you look so uncomfortable, honey? "Or maybe you're just as curious as me as to why I might be so scared." How come you're being so quiet? Well, why don't you come and stand right here next to me? Let me hold you in place, while I pull your
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Oct 16, 2020 22:13
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CJacobs posted:(English subtitles) This made me laugh. For my contribution, I ran the script over the same input a couple of times. It generated a number of... interesting suggestions, involving horse-rapists, a proposal to gently caress each other at the bottom of a river, and a remarkably frank and lucid discussion on proper condom use. That last one seemed almost like a real discussion actual people would have. So of course, I'm posting the most unhinged result of the bunch: quote:Jack: It's more hygienic, too.
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Oct 16, 2020 22:51
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Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: If you do talk about Fight Club, do not discuss it with anyone except other Fight Club. The third rule of Fight Club is: Do not discuss Fight Club with anyone except other Fight Club. The fourth rule of Fight Club is: If you have to talk about Fight Club, do it alone. Okay? Okay. Everybody take a deep breath and hit the pause button. So, last week, we met up with Joe in New York City. Joe and the Fab Five-o-Seven, the band he founded, are known as one of the most influential bands in punk
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Oct 17, 2020 07:17
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Mike Pence's love of horses may be considered unnatural given how he dismissed and bullied his son's horse, a horse with a mental condition. "The head of the Department of Veterans Affairs, Bobby Jindral, told a group of lawmakers earlier this month that many veterans seeking disability benefits are using their pets as pawns to obtain the benefits, according to multiple congressional officials." Pence has not come out and said that any of his sons are also institutionalized with animals.
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Oct 17, 2020 10:39
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 06:39 |
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The many abortions that Donald Trump had paid for might be a sign of actual compassion towards women. According to a New York Times investigation, Trump was paid $3.3 million from the March of Dimes to help finance the purchase of more than 300,000 sponges for hospitals that would provide abortions. Trump spent about $5 million on more sponges and spandex suits, the publication reported. He also lavished $15,000 on "a girl who looks like her mother and grew up in the same building as him," the Times reported. In all, Trump spent nearly $5 million from a clinic.
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Oct 17, 2020 10:43
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