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I've made a terrible discovery and it has changed everything! What once I thought I knew, now is unclear. How could I have missed this? How could I have lied... for years!? To one of my best friends in the whole world!! How could I?!!???!!!? I don't even remember the first time I said it to him. It probably started as a question. "Who's the best cat ever? Who's the best cat ever?" But quickly, it devolved into a statement, a blunt and reckless claim that would come to define our friendship. A statement I couldn't take back. "You're the best cat ever. You are!" I was so naive. I even doubled down on it, again and again, to my grate shame. "Yes you are! Yes you are, the very best cat ever!" Now I know what you're thinking. It was nothing, BFM. Just making conversation while I brushed the dandruff and dead leaves out of his fur. And who's to say which cat is the best cat ever anyway? It's subjective, it's a matter of opinion. But, I fear you're wrong, gentle reader. I was also naive once. I really, truly believed he was the best cat ever, for a long time. Until this morning, when the seeds of doubt finally found their way into my stubborn mind. This morning I read about Unsinkable Sam, a cat who survived not one, not two, but three shipwrecks during the Second World War. I love my cat, don't get me wrong. He's a good cat, a great cat even. But how many WWII shipwrecks has he survived???? None. I'm almost positive of it. And who knows what other amazing, incredibly accomplished cats there are out there, in the entire history of Earth and cats and greatness? I was so overzealous I set up an impossible standard, it's not his fault he never served in any maritime battles, but I had to put him on that pedestal. The greatest cat ever pedestal. I'm such a fool! Who knows how many other great cats I'll learn about next that make me wonder, about the title of greatest cat of all time. The title I so thoughtlessly threw around like a breezy informal thing. Not a serious matter of war. Now I'm stuck. I could hardly look at him today as he pounced on the old guitar string he likes chasing as I drag it across the kitchen floor. Feeding time was a weary miasma of secrets and shame. My lie hangs over everything now, my uncertainty an anchor around my neck. What if he's not the greatest cat ever? What if he's just a really super great cat? My heart sinks at the thought of this misdeed I've wrought. But I know I have to keep searching. I have to know the truth. If it's not my cat, is it Unsinkable Sam? Or is there another, even greater cat in history? Would I even get along with such a cat? Perhaps it's true what they say, it's impossible to be a good cat and a great cat. But I just don't know. I just don't know anymore. BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 04:32 on Nov 8, 2020 |
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Nov 8, 2020 04:30
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:33 |
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unsinkable Sam is my friend and he will post itt on Wednesday. |
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Nov 8, 2020 04:40
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 Quiet! the catroom is now in session. |
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Nov 8, 2020 11:56
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Nov 8, 2020 19:48
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The court recognises the witness for the prosecution. |
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Nov 8, 2020 20:51
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i told a dog he was the best boy ever and he shook his head, ran away and brought back a dvd copy of balto
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Nov 8, 2020 22:50
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Heather Papps posted:i told a dog he was the best boy ever and he shook his head, ran away and brought back a dvd copy of balto |
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Nov 8, 2020 23:21
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:This morning I read about Unsinkable Sam, a cat who survived not one, not two, but three shipwrecks during the Second World War. |
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Nov 8, 2020 23:23
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Heather Papps posted:i told a dog he was the best boy ever and he shook his head, ran away and brought back a dvd copy of balto
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Nov 9, 2020 01:04
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My dad got a tablet for my cat, but it didn’t really have any cat apps and he couldn’t use it so I snatched it off him but he unfortunately swallowed the batteries while he was trying to take some juice so I just kept it in a drawer. Finally I found some prehistoric battery that fit and I’m having a blast with these old games. Thing has like 6 blacktooth ports for multiplayer too. P cool.
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Nov 9, 2020 02:02
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That's him there, my good friend Unsinkable Sam. He has the thousand-yard stare due to all the messed up stuff he saw at war. He's chilled out a lot over the past 50 years or so, but sometimes he still gets really agitated when he hears an air raid siren or there is a laser pointer around. |
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Nov 9, 2020 02:10
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My cats one trick was that he could make girl face and act like he was down.
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Nov 9, 2020 02:27
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My cat set himself on fire twice and now we can't have candles in the house, so there's that. (He didn't get hurt, just singed some fur) |
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Nov 10, 2020 11:28
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:My lie hangs over everything now, my uncertainty an anchor around my neck. What if he's not the greatest cat ever? What if he's just a really super great cat? My heart sinks at the thought of this misdeed I've wrought. An anchor around your neck... your heart sinks... Unsinkable Sam (the greatest cat ever) pities you
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Nov 10, 2020 17:54
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Evil Bob posted:An anchor around your neck... your heart sinks... Unsinkable Sam (the greatest cat ever) pities you Confidence in my good boy judgement is at the bottom of the sea. My cat is being extra cuddly right now because it got cold, but I just keep thinking, he would never make it through the Poseidon adventure, even once. Am I expecting too much? I mean he doesn't even pay rent.
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Nov 10, 2020 21:59
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:My cats one trick was that he could make girl face and act like he was down. I taught him how to do that. |
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Nov 13, 2020 03:23
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Well i found out that my cat doesnt like Undrinkable Spam, so every day for this little *whiner* i have to take a full can of the stuff and put it in the food processor with some olive oil and stuff until its just the right slurry. And then he doesn't even want to drink it. I have to get the chunky straw out and everything. Every day with this cat. Certainly not the best cat ever. |
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Nov 14, 2020 00:47
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Don't get into a staring contest with Unblinkable Sam |
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Nov 14, 2020 04:11
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Unthinkable Sam lol. |
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Nov 15, 2020 21:04
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 amitabha sam
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Nov 16, 2020 01:19
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Apparently Sam's exploits have been thrown into doubt.Wikipedia posted:Some authorities question whether Oskar/Sam's biography might be a "sea story", because – for example – there are pictures of two different cats identified as Oskar/Sam. The sinking of Bismarck and rescue of a limited number of survivors took place in desperate conditions; British ships were ordered not to stop as there was believed to be a U-boat in the area, and many survivors were left to die of exposure. Pointedly, there is no mention of this incident in Ludovic Kennedy's detailed account of the sinking,[8] suggesting that information later gleaned from sailors regarding the cat's true service were apocryphal.[9] |
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Nov 16, 2020 06:51
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Unattainable Sam whose mind has no obstructions and knows that there is no ignorance nor elimination of ignorance and has crossed over all suffering and afflication. |
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Nov 16, 2020 09:26
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Unmentionables Sam is a cat that wears ladies' underwear, and there are approximately 1,000,000,000,000,000 images paying tribute to him on DeviantArt. |
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Nov 16, 2020 16:06
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google THIS posted:Don't get into a staring contest with Unblinkable Sam lol i wish all cats smelled as nice as unstinkable sam tbh ---------------- |
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Nov 16, 2020 20:57
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I would direct you Unlinkable Sam's profile page, but...
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Nov 16, 2020 21:15
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:I would direct you Unlinkable Sam's profile page, but... |
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Nov 17, 2020 02:22
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I have 3 cats. All three of them are the best cat ever. Their brothers and sisters before them? Best cat ever. There's only one true cat, all other cats are facets of that one cat- and they're all the best cat. Ever. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Nov 17, 2020 02:26
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:33 |
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Just found out that my neighbor's cat retired from the navy as a rear admiral. |
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Nov 17, 2020 02:29
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