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Santa is buzzing our airspace in a deliberate provocation. Our top men (Tony Blair) have confirmed those 'presents' are WMDs.
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Dec 24, 2020 18:04
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*Opening scene to T2, but pile of human skulls is replaced with pile of tree ornaments*
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Dec 24, 2020 18:49
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I love the smell of athiesm in the morning. You know, one time we had Santa's Village at the mall bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' elf body. The smell, you know that peppermint and hot cocoa smell? The whole mall. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end.
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Dec 24, 2020 19:18
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mass grave of elves so just a regular grave 
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Dec 24, 2020 19:22
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“We have your woman Claus! Tell us where you keep the toys or she shall suffer the same fate of your precious reindeer” Mad Max villain holds up a red, glowing orb.
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Dec 24, 2020 22:28
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SAANTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dec 24, 2020 22:51
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Why do the elves draw strange sigils and chant "hail Santa"?
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Dec 24, 2020 22:54
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twistedmentat posted:the Social Justice Police Defund the Social Justice Police
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Dec 25, 2020 01:15
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1redflag posted:*Opening scene to T2, but pile of human skulls is replaced with pile of tree ornaments* Wait, what else do you hang on your tree?
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Dec 25, 2020 02:46
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We took him down!
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Dec 25, 2020 02:59
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In the song "Santa Baby" when she says "And hurry down my chimney tonight" is this to say "to give me the presents I identified earlier in the song"? Or is she saying she wants to be piped, with "chimney" being a reference to her vagina?
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Dec 25, 2020 03:11
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The War On Christmas would be a good name for that meme face Tucker Carlson always does.
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Dec 25, 2020 03:30
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we get Chinese food for Christmas Eve every year now. we're doing our part.
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Dec 25, 2020 03:30
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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack sleds on fire off the shoulder of the Star of Bethlehem. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tänenbaum Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like presents in the snow. Time to sleep tight.
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Dec 25, 2020 03:32
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Tonight we hold the line. Tonight we defend our home. Tonight we kill the Santa Claus.
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Dec 25, 2020 04:44
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Colonel G. Odlesscommie: Your mission is to proceed to the North Pole in a Navy icebreaker. Pick up Santa Claus' path at Newfoundland, follow it, and learn what you can along the way. When you find the Jolly Old Elf, infiltrate his team by whatever means available and terminate Saint Nick's command. Captain Benjamin Lieberal: Terminate...Santa's command? General Conman: He's out there delivering toys without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable reindeer games. And he is still in the toyshop commanding elves. SJW Official: Terminate with extreme peppermints.
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Dec 25, 2020 05:08
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John Wick of Dogs posted:In the song "Santa Baby" when she says "And hurry down my chimney tonight" is this to say "to give me the presents I identified earlier in the song"? Or is she saying she wants to be piped, with "chimney" being a reference to her vagina? Yes.
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Dec 25, 2020 05:49
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I made a 8lbs ham and green bean casserole tonight and then got very high and am eating it I am going to eat it all and then shove a candy cane down my dick hole I call it the peppermintpeepee
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Dec 25, 2020 06:01
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Don't you dare whack off into a Christmas stocking. I absolutely forbid you.
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Dec 25, 2020 06:08
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Colonel Cancer posted:Don't you dare whack off into a Christmas stocking. I absolutely forbid you. Poop stockings then? How do you contribute 100% uptime to your raid group if you get out of your gamer chair and go to the unclogged toilet upstairs? Selfish
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Dec 25, 2020 09:09
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Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me, I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win! But somebody wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world and I see all those maggots at the mall, protesting me, spitting. Calling me baby Jesus killer and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me, huh? Who are they? Unless they've been me and been there and know what the hell they're yelling about!
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Dec 25, 2020 15:45
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John Wick of Dogs posted:In the song "Santa Baby" when she says "And hurry down my chimney tonight" is this to say "to give me the presents I identified earlier in the song"? Or is she saying she wants to be piped, with "chimney" being a reference to her vagina? It refers to her rectum, an orifice that usually expels hot gas in contrast to vaginae
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Dec 25, 2020 16:03
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Also known as the posting chute. How's everyone holding up, boys? Our perimeter was breached at night but the razor wire in the chimney gave 'em a nice surprise!
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Dec 25, 2020 16:45
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Dec 25, 2020 18:29
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GAYIDS posted:I made a 8lbs ham and green bean casserole tonight and then got very high and am eating it I am going to eat it all and then shove a candy cane down my dick hole I call it the peppermintpeepee Not scalloped potatoes and ham? Worthless
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Dec 25, 2020 18:53
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I'm ready to bust a cap in some chistmas rear end!
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Dec 25, 2020 19:05
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Sorry boys but the war on Xmas isn’t real. https://youtu.be/jbZo4x0NbbI
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Dec 25, 2020 23:08
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IDK someone was fighting the battle in Nashville
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Dec 25, 2020 23:17
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But gwar on Christmas is very real
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Dec 25, 2020 23:40
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No blood for paper and foil!
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Dec 26, 2020 00:05
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SleepySonata posted:I'm ready to bust a cap in some chistmas rear end! Same, but a nut
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Dec 26, 2020 00:05
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Son, we live in a world that has holidays, and those holidays have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santa and you curse the Elves. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know; that Santa's death, while tragic, probably spread cheer. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, spreads cheer. You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in the chimney. You need me in the chimney. We use words like holly, jolly, yuletide. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent celebrating something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the stockings full of presents that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide them! I would rather you just said "Merry Christmas" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a candy cane and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a drat what you think you are entitled to!
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Dec 26, 2020 02:33
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I’m sorry to say that we lost again this year. The world has celebrated Christmas again. But we’ll retreat, recover, and prepare. 
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Dec 26, 2020 02:52
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N. Senada posted:I’m sorry to say that we lost again this year. The world has celebrated Christmas again. But we’ll retreat, recover, and prepare. We must play the long game and chip away at Claus' authoritarian regime on year at a time Comrade
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Dec 26, 2020 03:23
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(Santa and his elves and Ded Moroz and his helpers meet during a celebration on Christmas Day, after the fall of San Francisco aka Athieststan) Snegurochka: My grandfather would like to know if you will drink a toast with him. Santa: Ho ho ho! Thank your grandfather, and tell him that I have no desire to drink with him, or any other Russian son of a bitch. Snegurochka: [aghast] I can't tell him that! Santa: Tell him, every word. Snegurochka: [nervously, in Russian] He says he will not drink with you, or any other Russian son of a bitch. Ded Moroz: [angrily, in Russian] Tell him he is a son of a bitch, too! Now! Snegurochka: [nervously] He says, he thinks you are a son of a bitch, too! Santa: Ho ho ho! All right, all right. Tell him I'll drink to that. One son of a bitch to another! Ho ho ho!
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Dec 26, 2020 04:26
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twistedmentat posted:Under the new Athiest Islamist Communist Fascist States of America anyone heard saying Merry Christmas will be summarily executed by the Social Justice Police. "Christmas was already worth killin' for. Let the degenerate Festivus Far-Left-Fascist SocJus bastards have their bloodshed. It'll be their own. Peace on Earth was never an option." [dies by another soldier who wants to be there, neither of them truly understanding the ramifications of the war] Internet YouTube "Critic" to his subscribers: Well, at least we'll get some great art out of all this.
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Dec 27, 2020 03:20
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