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[Screaming into phone] Look! I am in control of this situation! If you don't do as I tell you I'm going start throwing bodies out the front door [covering receiver mouthing to my hostages "Don't worry I won't"] Yeah! Okay! That's more like it. These people are hungry! They need some pizzas like uh...I dunno 5 of them. Just a sec. Hey! Does anyone have any allergies or dietary restrictions I should know about? Oh yeah! Also don't forget the breadsticks. Yes. Garlic knots are also acceptable. Wings? Hm...Uh lemme ask again. You guys want any wings? Also how do you all feel about anchovies? I'm a big fan but I know they're kind of divisive. |
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Jan 5, 2021 14:19
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*Negotiator on the other side of the phone* So, we are prepared to give you 2 one topping pizzas to start with. No breadsticks, ranch or dipping sauces, until we make some progress here. All I need is you to throw, uhh... five thousand dollars from the bank vault out the front door in trade. Sound fair?
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Jan 5, 2021 14:36
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Twenty Four posted:*Negotiator on the other side of the phone* Listen here! At least 3 of these hostages are on a strict Keto diet, or they won't have their beach bods ready for summer! Do you really want that on your heads? Do you really want to do that with press watching this whole thing go down? I'm also going to need a large salad or two with some protein in it! One should probably be vegetarian! You hear me?????
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Jan 5, 2021 15:02
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Listen here! At least 3 of these hostages are on a strict Keto diet, or they won't have their beach bods ready for summer! Do you really want that on your heads? Do you really want to do that with press watching this whole thing go down? I'm also going to need a large salad or two with some protein in it! One should probably be vegetarian! You hear me????? You drive a hard bargain. I've talked to the guys downtown and we are willing to throw in a medium order of wings to tide them over, but, one of those pizzas is going to have to be just plain cheese in concession. Work with me here!
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Jan 5, 2021 15:09
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me to the cops outside: crazy sauce? oh i don't need crazy sauce, I got enough up here *points to my temple as i motion to one of the hostages to slowly turn up the volume on the drive tunez #3 mix cd i brought with me i set it on track 4 which was a ratm song but he accidentally bumps the skip button and despite my exception line delivery the moment is ruined by the power rangers theme fading into the ambiance*
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Jan 5, 2021 15:40
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Jan 5, 2021 15:53
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You've learned from the best I see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNmZ8bqkXvw |
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Jan 5, 2021 16:06
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Jan 5, 2021 16:19
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Jan 5, 2021 16:32
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That took me too long to spot... |
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Jan 5, 2021 16:33
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Bank is being robbed by a peewee baseball team that hasn't had their reward/consolation post game pizza parties since the lockdown started and the league was cancelled. |
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Jan 5, 2021 17:13
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Jan 5, 2021 17:50
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Finger Prince posted:Bank is being robbed by a peewee baseball team that hasn't had their reward/consolation post game pizza parties since the lockdown started and the league was cancelled. 
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Jan 5, 2021 17:58
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By popular demand posted:You've learned from the best I see: (Also I love Jam and Chris Morris in general) |
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Jan 5, 2021 18:17
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Every bank manager in St Louis breathes a sigh of relief. |
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Jan 5, 2021 21:52
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OKAY WHO HERE IS VEGAN you may leave, run! now, we all good with meat lovers?
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Jan 5, 2021 22:50
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Buttchocks posted:Every bank manager in St Louis breathes a sigh of relief. ...everyone gonna hate on Imo's so I guess I gotta rob a PNC make the point that it's GOOD OKAY IT'S JUST DIFFERENT. |
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Jan 6, 2021 00:00
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homie you need to edit this poo poo down. the future of short stories is in tweets. |
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Jan 6, 2021 03:22
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Milde posted:homie you need to edit this poo poo down. the future of short stories is in tweets. I'm banned from Twitter |
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Jan 6, 2021 03:36
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ah gently caress i cant believe theyve done you like this |
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Jan 6, 2021 03:41
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Jan 6, 2021 03:50
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