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numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

i heard the ding dong and before i could put my PJ's on and run down the stairs the guy friggin took off! :derp:

got a text today that i can pickup my package from their depot lol :tfrxmas:

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Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

numberoneposter posted:

i heard the ding dong and before i could put my PJ's on and run down the stairs the guy friggin took off! :derp:

got a text today that i can pickup my package from their depot lol :tfrxmas:

Would you rather it have been stolen? I hear that's what the kids are up to these days!

Lazyhound
Mar 1, 2004

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?
I always leave put a post-it note saying that I’m home in the window for the courier to ignore.

hell astro course
Dec 10, 2009

pizza sucks

hey OP. I've been in this is situation too. I want you to know you are not alone. I stand with you in your pain.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.
The lesson here is to answer the door naked

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Remove your front door and set up an elaborate system of mirrors so you can see your front entrance at all times and any visitors can see you, that way delivery people have no excuse to ditch you.

StabMasterArson
May 31, 2011

Why would you order food then sit there naked the entire time tho

Fozzy The Bear
Dec 11, 1999

Nothing much, watching the game, drinking a bud

numberoneposter posted:

i heard the ding dong and before i could put my PJ's on and run down the stairs the guy friggin took off! :derp:

got a text today that i can pickup my package from their depot lol :tfrxmas:

Maybe you should get out of bed before 11am OP

zaepg
Dec 25, 2008

by sebmojo
Maybe he was just shy. Have you considered making the first move?

Baconroll
Feb 6, 2009

numberoneposter posted:

i heard the ding dong and before i could put my PJ's on and run down the stairs the guy friggin took off! :derp:

got a text today that i can pickup my package from their depot lol :tfrxmas:

Stop wasting time with PJs - swing the door open and present the guy with your 3 inches of blue steel and take your box of JO crystals like a bro.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
make an account on the ups website/app so you can pre-authorize release when you know youll be home

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

gary oldmans diary posted:

make an account on the ups website/app so you can pre-authorize release when you know youll be home
I got a phone (Pixel 4a 5G) through my service provider and they sent it via Purolator which is like easily the worst courier company and I didn't get any option.

I will just answer my door in the nude next time. Show off my bird nest.

feller
Jul 5, 2006


StabMasterArson posted:

Why would you order food then sit there naked the entire time tho

lol why did you assume it was food?

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

numberoneposter posted:

I will just answer my door in the nude next time. Show off my bird nest.
authorizing the other release

StabMasterArson
May 31, 2011

yikes! posted:

lol why did you assume it was food?

wow i guess i had something on my mind when i posted

bus hustler
Mar 14, 2019

numberoneposter posted:

I got a phone (Pixel 4a 5G) through my service provider and they sent it via Purolator which is like easily the worst courier company and I didn't get any option.

I will just answer my door in the nude next time. Show off my bird nest.

tell them you are happy to answer the door but you have covid and were told to stay in bed

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008

numberoneposter posted:

i heard the ding dong and before i could put my PJ's on and run down the stairs the guy friggin took off! :derp:

got a text today that i can pickup my package from their depot lol :tfrxmas:

lol gently caress!!!!!

Lazyhound
Mar 1, 2004

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?
Purolator actually successfully delivered a parcel to me today, for the first time ever because I walked by as the delivery guy was leaving the slip on the door. Truly a 2021 miracle!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
op waiting completely nude so a package delivery guy could give him the old dingdong dash

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

Better than the time I invited the delivery guy in and we delivered packages to each other for a couple hours and then two days later I had the ding dong rash.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

good

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
that guy put his dick in your box the second he got back to the truck

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

TheAardvark posted:

that guy put his dick in your box the second he got back to the truck
smaller delivery services rely on this sort of personal touch to carve a niche for themselves in the market

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

StabMasterArson posted:

wow i guess i had something on my mind when i posted

I initially read it as ding dong door dash also

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Deliveryperson dinged your'e danged door with his ding dong?
drat dude, downright despicable demeanor!

E: Demand damages!

Doc Block
Apr 15, 2003
Fun Shoe
Maybe take less than 10 minutes to get to the door

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Doc Block posted:

Maybe take less than 10 minutes to get to the door
The company is notorious for just leaving "we missed you" notices. Here's a google review:

quote:

If your online retailer chose to use Purolator to deliver your order, you are doomed. Make sure to follow these steps to avoid a missed delivery. You need to take time off of work on the day Purolator makes your delivery, put a chair on your driveway, and sit there until the Purolator truck arrives. When the truck shows up, the driver will jump out with a "sorry we missed you slip". You need to stop him and tell him to go back to the truck and get the package. If you fail to follow my guide, you will be forced to drive 30 km to the Purolator facility to pick up your package because there will not be a second delivery attempt made.

The Fattest PI
Mar 4, 2008
Haha purolator sucks balls. I worked at a sorting center for a bit when I was a young 19 year old. Nightshift loading and unloading -20 trailers full of -20 boxes. I was making 10.50 an hour. Nightshift came with a premium though! Night shift premium was 5 cents an hour.

Every 50ft trailer of boxes had on average like 3 or 4 that were absolutely destroyed. Sometimes they were packaged improperly, like a bunch of huge bolts in a wafer thin cardboard box and they'd loving instantly break out the bottom and rain down on your legs/feet. Sometimes they'd fall off the roller line we were chucking them onto. Sometimes we'd just be frustrated or angry and loving smash them on the ground and kick the piss out of them. 3 or 4 busted packages in a trailer was considered acceptable. If it was recoverable we'd re-box it or whatever but often times the item itself was destroyed.

One time we had a new guy and he was working with some old witch and she forgot to put the dock thing out to connect with the trailer. She told him to pull the super heavy extendible roller line into the trailer. So he was pulling it in walking backwards and got it going pretty quick. He stepped into the gap, went down and the roller line kept coming and broke his leg, almost severing it. He had a permanent limp after that.

There was one girl that worked there close to my age and she was somehow always the center of drama. She wanted to sleep with me but also had genital herpes so I didn't.
Every single time I've ever got a package through purolator I've had to drive loving half hour to the goddamn depot to get it.

Lazyhound
Mar 1, 2004

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?
Once Purolator delivered my parcel to the right street number on a completely different street. They took a week to recover it, by which time I had left on vacation. I told them to return it to sender, and they lost it on the way back. I called the company I had ordered from to request a refund, but they needed Purolator to confirm it had lost the parcel, which they refused to do. I ended up having to do a chargeback with American Express. The CS rep took a look at the tracking history and was like “normally it can take up to a week for us to investigate a claim but uhhhhhh I think you’re good”. The credit went through the next morning.

The next time something was shipped to me via Purolator, I thought I’d be clever and have them redirect it directly to a pickup point. Despite doing this three days before it arrived at the local hub, they still tried to deliver it to me at home. It then somehow sat on the truck for a solid week before making it back to depot.

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008
https://i.imgur.com/Asz1adZ.mp4

Les Os
Mar 29, 2010

Fozzy The Bear posted:

Maybe you should get out of bed before 11am OP

what if that’s when OP goes to bed

Fruits of the sea
Dec 1, 2010

mom and dad fight a lot posted:

The lesson here is to answer the door naked

My bathroom door faces the front door so I can let people in with a hockey stick while taking a dump.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

I had never heard of Purolator before and was getting concerned but then I read that they’re Canadian so I guess I don’t need to worry about it? Here in the US everything is great right now so sorry about your lovely delivery service OP. I hope you get your package.

Doc Block
Apr 15, 2003
Fun Shoe

numberoneposter posted:

The company is notorious for just leaving "we missed you" notices. Here's a google review:

Maybe don’t get your packages delivered by an auto parts manufacturer then!

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

I think this is a situation that can be solved with an elaborate system of pulleys and mirrors, OP

Tinestram
Jan 13, 2006

Excalibur? More like "Needle"

Grimey Drawer
I got ding dong dashed once, I couldn't walk right for a week

Ambuletz
Sep 7, 2006
I love my brother very much.
I really enjoy how "no-contact" delivery is now a new standard, and am really looking forward to its practicality in the future. It's a polite ding-dong-ditch - they actually text me when they're about to ring the loving dog-lose-its-mind button! that split second to anticipate the chaos is everything

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
:phone: hello? Yeah ey pal I wanna order a bottle of poop scotch, extra poop. Yeah rotten, poopy scotch plz. Cheerz ya fookin wanka! :flipoff:

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Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

have you tried making a thread about it

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