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The deli counter will give you free one-slice samples to try, so for a cheap lunch just bring some bread from home and ask them to put a sample of everything on it.
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Feb 10, 2021 14:40
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Slice of bread, from home? What kind of chump move is that. It's a grocery store my dude, just pick up some loose buns in the bakery. If it ain't got a barcode, it's free 
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Feb 10, 2021 14:57
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Brb pushing an old lady into the beer display Now all of that beer is hers though.
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Feb 10, 2021 15:56
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If you train your dog to carry a 6pack of beer, it can just carry it out of the store and there's nothing anyone can do about it! You can't arrest a dog, man
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Feb 10, 2021 16:38
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Colonel Cancer posted:If you train your dog to carry a 6pack of beer, it can just carry it out of the store and there's nothing anyone can do about it! You can't arrest a dog, man
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Feb 10, 2021 16:47
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Colonel Cancer posted:If you train your dog to carry a 6pack of beer, it can just carry it out of the store and there's nothing anyone can do about it! You can't arrest a dog, man The perfect crime!
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Feb 10, 2021 17:18
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If you haven’t trained your dog to fetch beer what do you even have a dog for
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Feb 10, 2021 17:21
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my dog wakes me up in the morning by rolling a joint, chiefing it and then shotgunning it in my mouth
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Feb 10, 2021 18:47
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I taught my cat to roll blunts but the store won't sell him wraps, even with a note!
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Feb 10, 2021 18:49
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Everything in a delivery truck is free until it crosses the threshold into the store. So get there early!
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Feb 10, 2021 18:50
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Pick up two packages of meat, such as a roast, that are both approximately the same weight. Look them over carefully to decide which is the best roast even though they're the same. On the drive home think to yourself, drat I should have gotten that other roast instead.
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Feb 10, 2021 19:05
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I want to smell honey in my tea. This with non-flying beas.
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Feb 10, 2021 19:08
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I'm that guy, by the end I'm physically hauling around way too much poo poo in my arms or pushing it along the floor with my foot as I wait in line Les Os posted:I went grocery shopping last night. There was a guy in a wheelchair without a mask just kind of sitting by the bakery aisle talking to himself, becoming more and more distraught. Nobody’s paying him any mind. I’m grabbing potatoes a little bit away and hear a loud crash followed by “oh no!” Guys on the floor and yelling and somehow in the short time since I first saw him (45 seconds?) half his face is covered in blood. He’s not able or willing to get up, surrounded by grocery workers. All the customers are just kind of staring cause nobody knows what the gently caress but also shopping at the same time. EMTs come as I was leaving. It was some weird poo poo. At a Safeway around 3 or 3:30 AM I met a methed out homeless man who told me that he had been collecting bottles under a bridge and had been bitten by dozens of brown recluse spiders (one of the most dangerous spiders in the world or at least North America). He showed me his arms and it was true, they were absolutely covered in enormous swollen welts, probably about 30 of them spread around his arms and shoulders. For some reason, he thought my drunk rear end was a good source of knowledge about what he should do about them. I told him to go to the hospital before he died
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Feb 10, 2021 19:26
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immediately go to the freshpet aisle to see if they have dog food for your 13 year old great dane they will not have it leave the store and go to the next store on your list. repeat until you get a week's worth of food for her majesty. current record? 19 stores!
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Feb 10, 2021 19:32
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:immediately go to the freshpet aisle to see if they have dog food for your 13 year old great dane Do you mean like, this barfing food or whatever they call the raw meat stuff they now give to some dogs? Because while the quality is debatable I've never seen a store without dog food.
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Feb 10, 2021 19:36
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Here's a tip, put a hint of a sage in your boots then develop your larger photos at Walmart under an assumed name, retrieve them near closing time from the photo area when staff is minimal and there's no one in electronics, keep yr hood up and mask on, buy a soda and an orange or something at self check out, act like you scan your photo tube, but don't scan them. Saved me $60 last time I needed prints.
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Feb 10, 2021 19:43
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Son of Rodney posted:Do you mean like, this barfing food or whatever they call the raw meat stuff they now give to some dogs? Because while the quality is debatable I've never seen a store without dog food. It’s prepared dog food that is kept in a refrigerated case. That case exists in one of two states: completely empty or completely full.
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Feb 10, 2021 19:53
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:It’s prepared dog food that is kept in a refrigerated case. That case exists in one of two states: completely empty or completely full. Interesting, never saw it around here. Good on you for taking care of your dog, good luck on your hunting 
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Feb 10, 2021 20:02
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:It’s prepared dog food that is kept in a refrigerated case. That case exists in one of two states: completely empty or completely full. I order food like that from JustFood for Dogs. Weird name but good stuff, and when I order two 72 oz bags the shipping is totally free. Plus it comes with dry ice in the package which is really fun to play with My dog's 19 so he needs the good stuff
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Feb 10, 2021 20:05
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When there's no great dane food, sometimes you have to settle for mediocre dane food. A meatball is a meatball
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Feb 10, 2021 20:07
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When you are at checkout and unload your items onto the conveyer belt thing do NOT put one of those divider bars behind your purchase. This allows the 75 year old person behind you to break into a loud rant yelling at the cashier and you about the break-down of manners, the lack of courtesy in the world these days, and how younger people are just out-right inconsiderate. It's hilarious.
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Feb 10, 2021 20:18
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Tired of having to do self-checkout? After you've gathered all the things you went to the store for, keep an eye on the little conveyor belts at the front of the store near the registers. If you can catch an employee near one and quickly place all your stuff near their register, they HAVE to scan all your stuff for you!
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Feb 10, 2021 20:20
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Shopping is thirsty work, so make sure you grab a crisp refreshing Moxie on the way out!
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Feb 10, 2021 20:22
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Want to make extra money while you do YOUR shopping? Get the instacart app and become an instacart shopper!! Then grab a helpless employee to help you find all the strange, unfamiliar items on your customer's shopping list. While you are at it do two or three instacart orders AND your own shopping! Forget which items belong to which order? Don't sweat it! It's the cashier's fault that they scanned the wrong items into the wrong order! Be sure to keep it a secret that it's instacart until it's time to pay!
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Feb 10, 2021 20:28
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Ask the customer service desk to break a 2 dollar bill. Lots of people have never seen one, so they'll get a kick out of it.
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Feb 10, 2021 20:39
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Always be farting
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Feb 10, 2021 20:42
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOFXUx2jQ-Q&t=11s
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Feb 10, 2021 20:51
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Throw a few batteries and some trash in the lobster tank so they feel more at home
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Feb 13, 2021 14:32
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Request half a dozen live lobsters but don't take them to the checkout - merely release them in one of the isles. The staff will love you for your lighthearted jape and you will be able to go home knowing that you gave the lobsters a chance to fight back their cruel fate
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Feb 13, 2021 14:37
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If you beseech K̸͖̂̿͗̕ǐ̴̪̳̯̭͒͛̅ṅ̵̖͗̕̕g̵̹̰̜̥͍͛ ̷͈̼̭̜̻̈́͌͊̅͜͝P̸̛̜̳͉̲͊͌a̴̍̿̏͊̚͜͠i̷̺̿͊̓̚̕m̷̪̘̤̣̹̉͜ò̴̼͍̊ͅǹ̵̹̦͔͊̇ with an appropriate offering such as a basin of fresh camel's milk or a fatted calf, he will grant you the knowledge of the location of all items in the grocery store, including hard-to-find goods like tahini paste and sun dried tomatoes.
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Feb 13, 2021 15:07
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Help I am a grocery cashier/bagger/stocker and this thread is giving me PTSD
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Feb 13, 2021 15:41
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The Grimace posted:Help I am a grocery cashier/bagger/stocker and this thread is giving me PTSD Hello, do you carry organic vegan gefilte fish and if not, why the hell not, get me your regional manager
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Feb 13, 2021 16:01
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:43 |
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Shop at a small independent place where they don't have self checkout because the chorus of machines saying stuff like "unexpected item in bagging area" and "do you wish to continue?" will probably give a new generation of young workers bizarre PTSD and a fear of text to speech devices.
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Feb 13, 2021 16:32
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