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My first day as assistant manager at the local Honey Baked Ham company: (Capt. Sobel voice): This isn't Smithfield ham company! This isn't Oscar Meyer ham company! This is Honey Baked Ham company! Non spiral cut: pass revoked Not glazing properly: revoked! Rust on your slicing knife: I wouldnt take this piece of poo poo into Easter, revoked! |
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Feb 17, 2021 23:10
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 15:21 |
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I’m glad you asked, the pineapple ring with the cherry inside represents the all seeing eye of the creator who forever watches even at your most covert. and he knows what you’ve done. and perhaps even worse, what you will do
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Feb 17, 2021 23:45
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i don't want to hear any more "i can't." only "i ham"
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Feb 18, 2021 01:04
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Upottery, England 1944: honey baked ham company on your feet! Weather has the whole highway socked in, the Easter holiday is delayed 24 hours. No ham tonight! I repeat, no ham tonight! |
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Feb 18, 2021 03:06
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gas thread; OP secretly prefers Boston Market
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Feb 18, 2021 06:12
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I've got the slicer set up to shave off 2MM from every slice. I just pocket those and eat like a king every night
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Feb 18, 2021 07:17
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vanisher posted:I've got the slicer set up to shave off 2MM from every slice. I just pocket those and eat like a king every night not thin enough |
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Feb 18, 2021 07:24
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The Honey Baked Ham Company holiday party falls silent as I enter with a fat Christmas Goose. My manager approaches me, trying to hide his anger, shaking with rage as he tells me I'll have a meeting with HR once the break is over. |
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Feb 18, 2021 07:38
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composite nano-fiber slicing blade makes slices transparently thin yet incredibly strong, enough for semi-rigid airship superstructure - but is it still ham? have we gone too far? my flame retardant and bulletproof ham vest weighs a ton |
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Feb 18, 2021 22:59
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finally, a job where ham-and-egger is a PROMOTION! |
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Feb 18, 2021 23:29
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Grandpa, were you a ham in the war? No, but I served in the company of hams. |
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Feb 19, 2021 00:08
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shhh! you can't say that in mixed company no that's bologna! |
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Feb 19, 2021 06:19
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Filthy Hans posted:gas thread; OP secretly prefers Boston Market no not the bees |
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Feb 19, 2021 08:49
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King of Bees posted:Grandpa, were you a ham in the war? |
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Feb 19, 2021 08:49
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Feb 20, 2021 13:55
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Do you know why no one remembers your ham? It's because no one wants to remember your ham. There's too many Smiths, DiMattos and O'Keefes and O'Briens, who show up here, replacing Honeybaked men that you dumb hammers got hammed in the first place! And they're all like you! They're all curing salts and smoke flavor. "Where're the hams at? Let me cut 'em! When do I get to prep Christmas hams?" |
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Feb 21, 2021 17:47
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Put that honey mustard down!! Honey mustard's for closers only. Do you think I'm loving with you? I am not loving with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Honey Baked Ham Store #26835. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. |
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Feb 21, 2021 18:01
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To boost employee morale, your paychecks will now be whimsically spiral-sliced. |
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Feb 21, 2021 18:31
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 15:21 |
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We're the honeybaked company! We slice the ham on air, land, and sea! They say our sandwiches are the best! Don't put our carving knives to the test! Sound off! 1-2! Sound off! 3-4! Sound off! 1-2-3-4! 1-2…3-4! |
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Feb 22, 2021 04:38
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