The Ben Simmons Magical Misery Tour (Also RIP The Process Again)

Where does Ben Simmons play next year?
	Boston Celtics
	L.A. Lakers
	L.A. Clippers
	Golden State Warriors
	Sacramento Kings
	Minnesota Timberwolves
	Utah Jazz
	Indiana Pacers
	Shanghai Sharks
	Adelaide 36ers
	Nippon Ham Fighters
	Talk 'n' Text Tropang Texters

Dejan Bimble: Mar 24, 2008; we're all black friends; Plaster Town Cop

Bip Roberts posted:

So two questions: who first started using the term "pu pu platter" for a group of marginal assets in a trade, and second: if you're calling it a "poop platter" is that good enough or do you have to say "poop poop platter"?

Bill Simmons 😨

# ? Sep 12, 2021 18:44

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:02

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

how small we talking? too small for a young socialite??

quote:

Brian Windhorst on Ben Simmons: I know of at least one other team who is a small market team that has made an offer and has a lot of interest and it just hasn�t gotten public yet

# ? Sep 14, 2021 00:16

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Pacers made an offer, but I think that's been out a while.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 00:22

a new study bible!: Feb 2, 2009; BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly

Fultz, Michael Carter Williams, and James Ennis for Ben

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:03

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Ben Simmons has Orlando Magic written all over him

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:04

Dejan Bimble: Mar 24, 2008; we're all black friends; Plaster Town Cop

WhyteRyce posted:

Ben Simmons has Orlando Magic written all over him

There is literally no funnier outcome than this

# ? Sep 14, 2021 02:21

archduke.iago: Mar 1, 2011; Nostalgia used to be so much better.

Bip Roberts posted:

So two questions: who first started using the term "pu pu platter" for a group of marginal assets in a trade, and second: if you're calling it a "poop platter" is that good enough or do you have to say "poop poop platter"?

It's not an unreasonable comparison: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pu_pu_platter

No one has a meal of just egg rolls or crab rangoons but put it all together....

# ? Sep 14, 2021 15:24

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

archduke.iago posted:

It's not an unreasonable comparison: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pu_pu_platter

No one has a meal of just egg rolls or crab rangoons but put it all together....

Lmao at "and things of that nature" making it into this entry

# ? Sep 14, 2021 15:36

Ghost Dog: Aug 17, 2016

MourningView posted:

Lmao at "and things of that nature" making it into this entry

i find it preposterous

# ? Sep 14, 2021 16:06

TheGreyGhost: Feb 14, 2012; �Go win the Heimlich Trophy!�

WhyteRyce posted:

how small we talking? too small for a young socialite??

Unironically think it's Cleveland which is...yeah I don't want him. The only thing worse than having two point guards is having one who can't shoot and the other being undersized.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 17:27

a new study bible!: Feb 2, 2009; BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly

I�ve said from the beginning that Sexton would be a great return for Ben. He�s a bum.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 20:55

Forrest on Fire: Nov 23, 2012

a new study bible! posted:

I’ve said from the beginning that Sexton would be a great return for Ben. He’s a bum.

Cleveland makes too much sense from an organizational ethos. Super heavy on the defensive side of basketball, they can trade guards to Philly, Ben doesn't have to be a title contender star year 1.

The offensive fit of course, is uhhhh, I'd doubt even Cleveland thinks they're ready to contend.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 21:05

iamsosmrt: Jun 14, 2008

What's the closest equivalent to Andre Miller in today's league? Because something like the AI/Miller trade which was incredibly deflating as a fan at the time but Miller undoubtedly improved the Sixers from doormat to mediocre lot the next few seasons by simply being a real PG. While that's not the desired outcome today of course, they probably have the talent to instead become something closer to legit finals contenders.

Are there other good veteran PGs in the league who haven't quite shined so may just need another situation to thrive? Something like Kyle Lowry before he came to Toronto.

I'm starting to talk myself into Ben for very steady and decent pieces is probably what would benefit the Sixers the most at this time.

# ? Sep 15, 2021 16:06

BWV: Feb 24, 2005

Maybe if Corey Joseph was a bit better or if Brogdan was much worse at shooting.

# ? Sep 15, 2021 17:19

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

https://twitter.com/TomMoorePhilly/status/1438190781077000204

Philly is going to push it. Wait for someone to become available for the trade/3-way trade.

I think its probably smart because Philly is a 1st round exit if they replace Simmons with role players. But gunna be some fun early season drama.

# ? Sep 16, 2021 16:28

predicto: Jul 22, 2004; THE DEM DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON

Lockback posted:

https://twitter.com/TomMoorePhilly/status/1438190781077000204

Philly is going to push it. Wait for someone to become available for the trade/3-way trade.

I think its probably smart because Philly is a 1st round exit if they replace Simmons with role players. But gunna be some fun early season drama.

�Not getting viable offers� to Presti means offers like 6 first round picks and 2 starters

But I probably wouldn�t trade him either There still is a chance he will get his head straight

# ? Sep 16, 2021 17:09

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

predicto posted:

�Not getting viable offers� to Presti means offers like 6 first round picks and 2 starters

But I probably wouldn�t trade him either There still is a chance he will get his head straight

That's why MN is still in the rumor mill. They don't really have too much to offer that Philly really wants. But they have stuff a rebuilding team would want (specifically picks). A rebuilding team prob isn't super interested in Simmons. That's why I think a 3 way is the most likely (if not MN, GSW or Sac).

# ? Sep 16, 2021 17:17

Darude - Adam Sandstorm: Aug 16, 2012

iamsosmrt posted:

Are there other good veteran PGs in the league who haven't quite shined so may just need another situation to thrive? Something like Kyle Lowry before he came to Toronto.

I'm starting to talk myself into Ben for very steady and decent pieces is probably what would benefit the Sixers the most at this time.

Rozier maybe? I mean he is what he is but might be the type of guy you're talking about.

# ? Sep 16, 2021 17:35

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Simmons channeling that "scream like I'm fighting for my soul against an army of biblical demons while I go up for an uncontested layup" Pau Gasol energy in that photo.

# ? Sep 16, 2021 17:38

ChickenMedium: Sep 2, 2001; Forum Veteran And Professor Emeritus of Condiment Studies

predicto posted:

�Not getting viable offers� to Presti means offers like 6 first round picks and 2 starters

But I probably wouldn�t trade him either There still is a chance he will get his head straight

It's funny, because an all-star, all-nba, all-nba defense, four time rookie of the year should fetch a handful of picks and at least one starter, but he's basically poison to any rival GM. Trading major assets for a point guard who refuses to shoot and poo poo the bed in the most tragic way possible in the playoffs means if he doesn't get his mental right, that GM is 100% getting fired.

# ? Sep 16, 2021 22:09

iamsosmrt: Jun 14, 2008

The weird thing is while Doc and Embiid's comments may have soured Ben on the Sixers, it seems pretty clear that those sentiments are echoed by most people around the league/world so it's not really going to be that different if he ends up on another team as virtually as the same player.

The more rumors and leaks that come out, the more it's becoming apparent to me that he's probably got a bunch of mental health/anxiety issues to work through and his inner circle has put his career in a game of chicken that seems destined to end in in a lose-lose and possibly sad situation for all, riches and fame aside.

He's a very talented guy who seems to be aware of his limitations while on the court, but his camp is acting in denial of how these limitations are affecting both how people react to him and how many trade scenarios even make sense.

Ideally (aside from actually just swallowing his pride and becoming the player fans want him to be) he'd just make a respectful trade request and carry on as a normal member of the team until they accommodate the trade.

# ? Sep 17, 2021 16:22