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ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?


let's use this time to talk about all things you

what action items are you working on this week
where do you need help
how are you feeling these days
what is your top priority
what are you career goals
is there anything that i've missed that we should discuss

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post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011
well you were also in every meeting i was in for the past two weeks. glad we could take this time to rehash all of them together.

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011
lets remember some guys: meetings edition

Fortaleza
Feb 21, 2008

post hole digger posted:

lets remember some guys: meetings edition

lol

AnimeIsTrash
Jun 30, 2018

post hole digger posted:

lets remember some guys: meetings edition

guy who extends every meeting by 30 minutes by asking the most inane questions

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005



[ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

ultravoices posted:



let's use this time to talk about all things you

what action items are you working on this week
where do you need help
how are you feeling these days
what is your top priority
what are you career goals
is there anything that i've missed that we should discuss

this is a standup combined with a performance conversation. Meeting declined

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?

Jonny 290 posted:

this is a standup combined with a performance conversation. Meeting declined

i think you'll find it's quite different because it has one on one in the title of the meeting.

Agile Vector
May 21, 2007

scrum bored



let's walk and talk, try to get out of our desks for a little while

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe
to be honest, I'm feeling a little demoralized because our codebase is a giant tarpit that we're all stuck inside of

what? Oh no I mean..uh.. doing great and you're an A+ boss

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?

Poopernickel posted:

to be honest, I'm feeling a little demoralized because our codebase is a giant tarpit that we're all stuck inside of

what? Oh no I mean..uh.. doing great and you're an A+ boss

thank you for your excellent feedback

Cat Face Joe
Feb 20, 2005

goth vegan crossfit mom who vapes



mine was canceled this week :madmax:

AlbertFlasher
Feb 14, 2006

Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band

AnimeIsTrash posted:

guy who extends every meeting by 30 minutes by asking the most inane questions

I'm not going to lie. I have been guilty of this from time to time.

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?

AlbertFlasher posted:

I'm not going to lie. I have been guilty of this from time to time.

hate to cut you off, but let's put that item in the parking lot and leave it for next week's collaboration time.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
i have accepted that this project is unfixable and so I’m just going to pile more poo poo on and meet my goals rather than try to make it better.

Bored Online
May 25, 2009

We don't need Rome telling us what to do.
can i get more money

Agile Vector
May 21, 2007

scrum bored



*tucks away hefty earnings report*

it's been a tough year here, so we have to tighten belts and keep pay flat for everyone below c-level

Zam Wesell
Mar 22, 2009

[Zam is suddenly shot in the neck by a toxic dart; Anakin and Obi-Wan see a "rocket-man" take off and fly away, and Zam dies]
hi could you please spend a week making an in-depth gantt chart that no one in the project will follow?

thanks!

Zlodo
Nov 25, 2006
So, since we haven't done it in a while and HR keeps reminding me, I'm booking a quick meeting to define together a new bunch of OKRs to completely ignore for the next couple years or so

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?

Zam Wesell posted:

hi could you please spend a week making an in-depth gantt chart that no one in the project will follow?

thanks!

why are you looking at my inbox

Barry White
Jun 28, 2008

Luke Skywalker kills Han Solo's son at the climax of Episode VII
what action items are you working on this week -making sweet computer love
where do you need help - the floppy disk drive is a bit narrow
how are you feeling these days - frustrated
what is your top priority - cumming into my computer (I thought this was YOSPOS??)
what are you career goals - Same as your career goals, probably.
is there anything that i've missed that we should discuss - https://medium.com/@blairacarroll/human-computer-interaction-yea-i-find-my-computer-sexy-too-c741c95c9e0b

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth

AnimeIsTrash posted:

guy who extends every meeting by 30 minutes by asking the most inane questions

One of the biggest perks of being a senior level person is that I can just leave meetings when they start getting pointless, also lots of other senior guys I work with do the same. As a result our meetings normally last no more then 15-20min. It's great.

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




I agree, forums user ate poo poo on live tv

Raere
Dec 13, 2007

which gartner magic quadrant are you present in?

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?
whichever one is the most money for the least amount of work

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

ultravoices posted:

whichever one is the most money for the least amount of work

...lawful evil?

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?

carry on then posted:

...lawful evil?

i do not dream of more labor, but if i have to sell, i might as well get a good price.

kitten smoothie
Dec 29, 2001

welp, as you know, it's reorg season

suffix
Jul 27, 2013

Wheeee!
i absolutely hear you that we are "wasting everyone's time with loads of worthless meetings" and that is something i think we should sit down and take some time evaluate in a separate session
maybe next week we can pull in some of the other stakeholders and see how we can best make sure we are are adding and spending our time deliberately. can you write up Jira ticket on that so we dont forget?

Archduke Frantz Fanon
Sep 7, 2004

I know its not the best solution, but it is the one weve been given by leadership. How about this, lets try it out for 6 months then reevaluate then?

ADINSX
Sep 9, 2003

Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

I come to these forums to take a break from work

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?

Archduke Frantz Fanon posted:

I know its not the best solution, but it is the one weve been given by leadership. How about this, lets try it out for 6 months then reevaluate then?

the baby has to get born, we can dress it up and send it to college later.

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

ADINSX posted:

I come to these forums to take a break from work

yeah i dont like this thread haha

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

post hole digger posted:

lets remember some guys: meetings edition

lol

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graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

post hole digger posted:

lets remember some guys: meetings edition

:eats piece of dubble bubble:

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