Caving Horror Stories Thread: This Hole was Made for Me!!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Caving Horror Stories Thread: This Hole was Made for Me!!

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hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

cumpantry posted:

simple fun to be had in a hole

simple as.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 00:52

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 10:53

nice obelisk idiot: May 18, 2023; funerary linens looking like dishrags

Dick Bastardly posted:

ngl after reading some of these caving horror stories I kinda want to start caving too for some mentally ill reason I can't quite explain

exercise, peace and quiet, no sun (goon), cool rocks, yonic imagery, death drive... there's a lot going for it

# ? Aug 29, 2023 03:07

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Funky See Funky Do posted:

People willingly crawling into holes and then getting stuck in the hole? YAWN. Wake me up when the holes start going after people.

Oh! I�ve played that game! The holes are controlled by a raccoon, but he doesn�t know he�s doing it until a lot later in the game.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 04:30

Gravid Topiary: Feb 16, 2012

nice obelisk idiot posted:

exercise, peace and quiet, no sun (goon), cool rocks, yonic imagery, death drive... there's a lot going for it

cavers know what they're into

# ? Aug 29, 2023 11:09

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Speleothing posted:

and about 3 hours of shimmying through a 11 inch wide canyon and swimming through a underground river with 6 inches of air space to get to the climbs we were exploring.

What the gently caress

# ? Aug 29, 2023 11:30

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

In my opinion the only correct way to go caving is to use explosives and heavy equipment to expand the tunnels to the same height and width as a standard doorway before entering.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 13:01

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

The Lone Badger posted:

In my opinion the only correct way to go caving is to use explosives and heavy equipment to expand the tunnels to the same height and width as a standard doorway before entering.

You see here's someone you should go caving with. Just how cavings meant to be done.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 13:11

DrSunshine: Mar 23, 2009; Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!

Dick Bastardly posted:

ngl after reading some of these caving horror stories I kinda want to start caving too for some mentally ill reason I can't quite explain

These holes were made for you.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 13:43

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

Ahundredbux posted:

I think caves are very cool as long as I don't have to be inside of them and die

i hear they often contain treasure as well

Caves are great and this is absolutely true as long as you treasure the thrill of being in a cave.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 13:54

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

The Moon Monster posted:

Caves are great and this is absolutely true as long as you treasure the thrill of being in a cave.

while its great to find thrills and enjoyment in caving, i find the simple pleasure of discovering ancient gold, silver, and jewel hordes a treasure all of its own

# ? Aug 29, 2023 13:57

Renreeja: Oct 11, 2007

back in the day went caving at this accessible cave in east TN with my brother in law, older sister, and my future wife. We had fun cause it was pretty open, had the crazy side tunnels but we kept the gently caress away from those. At one point we turned out our lights and thats when I realised how hosed wed be if the batteries died.

Anyways years later me, my bro in law and this weird friend of his decide to go to that same place. As we approach the field leading to the cave we find this trailer parked up there, its covered in bullet holes and cartridge cases/shotgun shell casings littered the ground. We were kindof like uuh ok, but we go to the entrance of the cave, which is now sealed off with a big DO NOT ENTER sign. So my BiL calls this caving guide he knows to ask about the place, and I hear this guy through the speaker "Get the gently caress outta there!! There is a crazy guy who lives there, he shot a caver last year." So we skiddaddled right the gently caress outta there. Thank god that bastard was off buying hooch or whatever.

In the car ride back the weird friend starts talking about his plan to start offering riki meditation cave tours, and how hes going to give people riki training certificates as a draw for his grift lol.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 14:20

DrSunshine: Mar 23, 2009; Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!

Renreeja posted:

back in the day went caving at this accessible cave in east TN with my brother in law, older sister, and my future wife. We had fun cause it was pretty open, had the crazy side tunnels but we kept the gently caress away from those. At one point we turned out our lights and thats when I realised how hosed wed be if the batteries died.

Anyways years later me, my bro in law and this weird friend of his decide to go to that same place. As we approach the field leading to the cave we find this trailer parked up there, its covered in bullet holes and cartridge cases/shotgun shell casings littered the ground. We were kindof like uuh ok, but we go to the entrance of the cave, which is now sealed off with a big DO NOT ENTER sign. So my BiL calls this caving guide he knows to ask about the place, and I hear this guy through the speaker "Get the gently caress outta there!! There is a crazy guy who lives there, he shot a caver last year." So we skiddaddled right the gently caress outta there. Thank god that bastard was off buying hooch or whatever.

In the car ride back the weird friend starts talking about his plan to start offering riki meditation cave tours, and how hes going to give people riki training certificates as a draw for his grift lol.

Did they seal off the cave with the DO NOT ENTER sign because of the crazy guy? Did he become the cave's main danger?

# ? Aug 29, 2023 14:36

Decedent: Dec 20, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

Holy poo poo that last video op posted just went on forever I have no idea how I managed to watch it all but I think I didn�t and I woke up dreaming about the episode where Bart had a radio transmitter and faked falling down a well.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 14:43

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Pretty sure the weird friend, was also the crazy gun cave guy. Notice they were never seen at the same time togther.

Was totally going to shot them as soon as they all got in the cave, and possibly use Riki to raise them back from the dead or something. You know just very traditional crazy cave person stuff.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 14:46

DrSunshine: Mar 23, 2009; Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!

Decedent posted:

Holy poo poo that last video op posted just went on forever I have no idea how I managed to watch it all but I think I didn�t and I woke up dreaming about the episode where Bart had a radio transmitter and faked falling down a well.

You should fix your sleeplessness by binge-watching 18 hours of caving disaster youtube clickbait videos.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 14:49

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

Decedent posted:

Holy poo poo that last video op posted just went on forever I have no idea how I managed to watch it all but I think I didn�t and I woke up dreaming about the episode where Bart had a radio transmitter and faked falling down a well.

I like to think that if I ever got trapped in a cave Sting would come for me.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 14:59

Speleothing: May 6, 2008; Spare batteries are pretty key.

nice obelisk idiot posted:

exercise, peace and quiet, no sun (goon), cool rocks, yonic imagery, death drive... there's a lot going for it

Going somewhere no other human being has ever gone before (only applies if you're cool and get invited onto those types of trips)

# ? Aug 29, 2023 14:59

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020

DrSunshine posted:

Did they seal off the cave with the DO NOT ENTER sign because of the crazy guy? Did he become the cave's main danger?

No. He is what guards the danger.

# ? Aug 29, 2023 15:08

Renreeja: Oct 11, 2007

DrSunshine posted:

Did they seal off the cave with the DO NOT ENTER sign because of the crazy guy? Did he become the cave's main danger?

100%, like an enemy in a fallout game

dr_rat posted:

Pretty sure the weird friend, was also the crazy gun cave guy. Notice they were never seen at the same time togther.

Was totally going to shot them as soon as they all got in the cave, and possibly use Riki to raise them back from the dead or something. You know just very traditional crazy cave person stuff.

this is possible, in which case I may exist as a cave zombie, and just had my memory reset before being set out into the world as a sleeper agent

Edit~ just saw Cumpantry's post, thats actually scary as gently caress Im glad we didnt go in that cave

# ? Aug 29, 2023 15:23

Decedent: Dec 20, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

DrSunshine posted:

You should fix your sleeplessness by binge-watching 18 hours of caving disaster youtube clickbait videos.

I have been. The tube is mixing serial killer interviews into the slurry now.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 17:35

Clayton Bigsby: Apr 17, 2005

Drunk Nerds posted:

What the gently caress

You think that�s bad, read Beyond the Deep. It covers Bill Stone and some other lunatics trying to find the deepest accessible spot on Earth. They would do poo poo like find a puddle of water several kilometers down and go hey, let�s dive in and see if we can get through somehow, swimming/crawling through a narrow water filled passage not knowing if there�d be anything on the other end.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:49

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

The Moon Monster posted:

I like to think that if I ever got trapped in a cave Sting would come for me.

Trapped in a cave waiting in the dark for days, rationing the last few bites of trail mix and last few sips of water. Just when hope is almost lost you hear it. It's distant, soft, but it's no hallucination: "will you stay with me, will you be my love". Elation turns to horror as you realize it's coming from DEEPER in the tunnels...

# ? Aug 31, 2023 21:24

Konar: Dec 14, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

# ? Aug 31, 2023 22:39

Decedent: Dec 20, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

Trapped in a cave waiting in the dark for days, rationing the last few bites of trail mix and last few sips of water. Just when hope is almost lost you hear it. It's distant, soft, but it's no hallucination: "will you stay with me, will you be my love". Elation turns to horror as you realize it's coming from DEEPER in the tunnels...

# ? Sep 1, 2023 00:13

WHY BONER NOW: Mar 6, 2016; Pillbug

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna104313

quote:

American rescued after more than a week in the depths of a Turkish cave

Mark Dickey, a cave explorer, rescuer and expert from New Jersey, was exploring Morca below the Taurus Mountains when he fell ill and was unable to get out on his own.

American cave explorer Mark Dickey has been rescued from a deep cave in Turkey after he became ill during an expedition more than nine days ago and was unable to reach the surface.

The dayslong rescue operation was completed successfully after a stretcher-bound Dickey, 40, was lifted from his position at a camp about 3,400 feet below the surface in multiple phases, the European Cave Rescue Association said.

"It is amazing to be above ground again," Dickey said upon his arrival, adding later: "This is overwhelming."

The Speleological Federation of Turkey said that he exited after midnight local time and that the cave rescue "has ended."

Dickey said he was determined to live, then was resolved to die, as his mind had its own back-and-forth over the possibilities during his time more than a half-mile beneath the Earth's surface.
"I’m not going to die. This is OK," he said he initially told himself.

"Then I start throwing up blood, and blood is coming out in more quantity that you’re going to live with if it keeps happening," he continued. "Then my consciousness started to get harder to hold on to, and I reached a point where I said, ‘I’m not going to live.'"

He credited his fiancée, the government of Turkey and Hungarian cavers for his survival. His bride-to-be climbed nearly 3,300 feet to retrieve necessary fluids, returning with the help of cavers from Turkey and Hungary, Dickey said.

"It was the rapid response of the Turkish government that got the resources to her," he said. "Saved my life."