Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS

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Mulletstation: May 9, 2004; mo' mullets mo' problems

Super Aggro Crag posted:

That just might be the most ridiculous vehicle I've ever seen. I didn't even know they made 30" rims.

Ugh, can you imagine changing one of those wheels. having to use like 5 jacks just to get the corner off the ground

# ? May 20, 2008 18:41

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 08:21

CornHolio: May 20, 2001; Toilet Rascal

san_dingo posted:

It even has a loving THRONE.

KING IN THE CASTLE!!!
KING IN THE CASTLE!!!

First I thought it was stupid. Now I see that it is PURE loving AWESOME.

# ? May 20, 2008 18:43

Mulletstation: May 9, 2004; mo' mullets mo' problems

CornHolio posted:

First I thought it was stupid. Now I see that it is PURE loving AWESOME.

They should've built a little watchout tower on top so that the king can climb a couple stairs and poke his head out while driving. Looking out for marauders of course

# ? May 20, 2008 18:44

CornHolio: May 20, 2001; Toilet Rascal

Mulletstation posted:

They should've built a little watchout tower on top so that the king can climb a couple stairs and poke his head out while driving. Looking out for marauders of course

I like to think the King gets a scepter, too, with a push-button on the tip for the air suspension.

# ? May 20, 2008 18:51

Mulletstation: May 9, 2004; mo' mullets mo' problems

CornHolio posted:

I like to think the King gets a scepter, too, with a push-button on the tip for the air suspension.

I Hereby Decree that Pimps Up, Hoes Down.

<activate bounce>

# ? May 20, 2008 20:05

madattheinternet: May 8, 2004; PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!

The mysterious haunted GM Replacement Strut: http://orlando.craigslist.org/pts/686894097.html

quote:

Haunted GM Rear Replacement Strut - $15 (UCF area)

Reply to: sale-xxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-19, 3:11PM EDT

If you are easily frightened, this is not the GM rear replacement strut for you. I take no responsibility for eerie goings-on as a result of you reading this ad or actually buying the GM rear replacement strut.

Sorry, my lawyer suggested I put that in the ad. Here's the story: my uncle was a collector of rare antiquities from around the world. He passed away recently, and I have been going through his collection selling off interesting pieces. His journal entries about this rear replacement strut indicate he was in the mysterious jungles of Flint, Michigan when he came across the ruins of a temple. Upon entering, he found evidence of a primitive civilization which worshipped a 1996 Buick Park Avenue as their god. He does not tell why he took the rear replacement strut; perhaps as a souvenir, perhaps for further research at his university... we can only speculate.

I found this buried deep inside his warehouse with no corresponding catalog entry. The cryptic hieroglyphs on the outside of the box indicate it was originally manufactured by Tenneco Automotive and is intended to replace rear struts in larger GM vehicles manufactured in the early-to-middle '90s.

Now, when I opened the box to further examine the strange relic, a ghost emerged from the box. I managed to take a picture of the spectre before it sighted my portrait of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, upon which it shrieked with a voice that seemed to come from within my own head and vanished, leaving only a faint odor of new car and the rear replacement strut itself.

I have attached two photos of the rear replacement strut, the first taken shortly after my encounter with the ghastly manifestation of the dead, so excuse the blurry quality. After a stiff belt of whiskey to steady my hand (and nerves) I took a second, less-blurry picture. I have also attached a picture of the horriffic spirit which torments me still. Also, there's a really hot broad who will totally come "bust your ghosts" if you know what I mean (I mean she will rid your domicile of hauntings for a modest fee).

Uncle Finnegan's untimely passing has left the family wanting for money, and we are just trying to make some extra money by selling a haunted rear replacement strut at a reduced rate. And if you don't need a single rear replacement strut for your mid-'90s GM vehicle, it would probably make a pretty wicked water pipe.

Email above or call 407-xxx-xxxx and ask for Neil.

# ? May 20, 2008 22:12

Ether Frenzy: Dec 22, 2006; Nap Ghost

Now this, this is CLASS:

http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/car/686431398.html

Date: 2008-05-19, 10:06AM EDT

300zx 1991/Black/Automatic/with 15inch Build in TV monitor for Video game,DVD,and computer.

contact:774-219-8360
deangstar@aol.com
myspace.com/drugworld

# ? May 20, 2008 23:32

APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT: Jul 22, 2005; you can prob fix that with a little duct tape and a paper clip

*is MacGyver irl*

Anyone want to offer their sexual services for a Celica?

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/bar/688468638.html

In case it gets flagged:

quote:

I have a GOOD RUNNING 91 Toyota Celica STX The Following specs and info are
172,000 miles/5 Speed/CD Player/Very Clean interior/Ac and Heater work perfect/Mechanically perfect/Does not smoke, leak, overheat, no check engine light, engine does not tick/Body Damage to the driver quarter panel, headlight, and hood/
Looking to trade for anything! I mean anything! Sexual services, Anything Sexual for that matter, Mass amounts of Porn, Money to pay off the cops, redecorating my room, Laptops, Cars, whatever.
Don't be shy to shoot an offer!

APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT fucked around with this message at 00:38 on May 21, 2008

# ? May 20, 2008 23:34

Crispulus: Dec 13, 2007; Aren't you supposed to yell at me and call me "HOPE" and motivate me over this wall?

nothing to see here.

Crispulus fucked around with this message at 06:19 on May 21, 2008

# ? May 21, 2008 00:07

SHAQ4PREZ: Dec 21, 2004; How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Economy Car

CumGuzzler posted:

Anyone have a spare $225,000 laying around?

http://orlando.craigslist.org/car/677390619.html

For almost a quarter of a million dollars, you would think they could at least paint the air vents properly.

# ? May 21, 2008 07:23

Demie: Apr 2, 2004

Pweller posted:

It bugs me that there's no hood ornament.

It's a rolls royce grill, so the hood ornament comes up when the car isn't parked

# ? May 21, 2008 08:20

Big K of Justice: Nov 27, 2005; Anyone seen my ball joints?

HachiGo posted:

For almost a quarter of a million dollars, you would think they could at least paint the air vents properly.

Yeah it looks like they just top coated the interior without taking it apart, loving amateurs.

In no way, shape or form is that truck worth anything close to a quarter million.

They may get 50-75k for that from a limo company and thats it. You can get a donor H2 for 20 grand now in LA, or 25 grand if you want an 05 model used. So they are telling you that they did 200k+ of custom work.

The shop either did that themselves for a promotional tool or some retard with too much money and no taste had that custom made up.

A quality job would have at least dumped the OEM interior and made the rear match the front, that would have been cool, but you got brown leather and velvet with black fiberglass and chrome props in the rear and a black[spray painted] GM parts bin interior in the front.

I'm seeing companies making cloned fiberglass RR Phantom hoods now so I doubt its OE.

:jerkbag:

# ? May 21, 2008 10:33

The Rocket Salad: Sep 1, 2004; lol what

Oh Ithaca, my Ithaca,
My poor, sweetly retarded Ithaca...

So goes the ancient Greek poem, just as it does today.

no cars have to many kids for a car

# ? May 21, 2008 16:04

star trek extra credit: Jun 3, 2007

My favorite part of the Hummer is how even though it has a Rolls Royce emblem on the hood, it's still got the H2 engine guard on the bottom

# ? May 21, 2008 23:07

hippynerd: Nov 5, 2004; by Ozma

Hypnolobster posted:

I live near this person, and that really frightens me.

are you a 12 year old girl ?

# ? May 22, 2008 03:35

mexecan: Jul 10, 2006

# ? May 22, 2008 04:44

Simkin: May 18, 2007; "He says he's going to be number one!"

^^ Oh god. Please tell me that's someone from the deep, dark heart of Langford cross-posting to UsedVictoria. I know that there's a meth problem around here, but I was hoping that they didn't have access to computers.

# ? May 22, 2008 08:23

APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT: Jul 22, 2005; you can prob fix that with a little duct tape and a paper clip

*is MacGyver irl*

This is listed as "One of a Kind Honda Civic". I can only see Shrek or the Jolly Green Giant driving this car.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? May 22, 2008 21:16

ProjektorBoy: Jun 18, 2002; I FUCK LINEN IN MY SPARE TIME!; Grimey Drawer

Wow. The whole ad screams "DONT BUY THIS CAR"

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/car/691162033.html

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? May 22, 2008 22:35

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

ProjektorBoy posted:

Wow. The whole ad screams "DONT BUY THIS CAR"

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/car/691162033.html

I dunno, you could really lowball her and then flip it.

# ? May 22, 2008 22:49

meatpimp: May 15, 2004; Psst -- Wanna buy

EVERYWHERE
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mcy/689293369.html

2. This is NOT a beginner bike. I started on an EX500 (Ninja 500) and I recommend that you do as well (or a GS500 or an EX250, etc). This a seriously fast machine and is NOT for beginners.

YOU can't handle this BIEK. :colbert:

Edit: PLUS, action shots!

# ? May 22, 2008 22:56

CornHolio: May 20, 2001; Toilet Rascal

ProjektorBoy posted:

Wow. The whole ad screams "DONT BUY THIS CAR"

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/car/691162033.html

That seat cover does scream 'dumb blonde' though.

# ? May 22, 2008 23:42

pr0zac: Jan 18, 2004; ~*lukecagefan69*~; Pillbug

ProjektorBoy posted:

Wow. The whole ad screams "DONT BUY THIS CAR"

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/car/691162033.html

Will Sacrifice All Cash Offers Considered?

meatpimp posted:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mcy/689293369.html

Well that bike doesn't look familiar...

pr0zac fucked around with this message at 00:01 on May 23, 2008

# ? May 22, 2008 23:53

CornHolio: May 20, 2001; Toilet Rascal

meatpimp posted:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mcy/689293369.html

2. This is NOT a beginner bike. I started on an EX500 (Ninja 500) and I recommend that you do as well (or a GS500 or an EX250, etc). This a seriously fast machine and is NOT for beginners.

YOU can't handle this BIEK.

Edit: PLUS, action shots!

Im not big into motorcycles, and I dont get this one. Is it actually a wimp bike or something?

# ? May 23, 2008 00:22

numba1wonga: Jan 18, 2005; This girl just took a gigantic poop all over herself.

meatpimp posted:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mcy/689293369.html

Doesn't this bike belong to someone on AI?

# ? May 23, 2008 00:32

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

The Rocket Salad posted:

Oh Ithaca, my Ithaca,
My poor, sweetly retarded Ithaca...

So goes the ancient Greek poem, just as it does today.

no cars have to many kids for a car

"no rust looks like new in and outside"

whoa man, that's deep.

# ? May 23, 2008 00:54

Pweller: Jan 25, 2006; Whatever whateva.

CornHolio posted:

Im not big into motorcycles, and I dont get this one. Is it actually a wimp bike or something?

not at all, it probably shouldn't be someone's first bike

# ? May 23, 2008 02:05

Nitrox: Jul 5, 2002

meatpimp posted:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mcy/689293369.html

2. This is NOT a beginner bike. I started on an EX500 (Ninja 500) and I recommend that you do as well (or a GS500 or an EX250, etc). This a seriously fast machine and is NOT for beginners.

YOU can't handle this BIEK.

Edit: PLUS, action shots!

I see no problem with this add.

# ? May 23, 2008 02:09

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Nitrox posted:

I see no problem with this add.

yeah, it just Blaise's bike.

# ? May 23, 2008 03:23

DJ Commie: Feb 29, 2004; Stupid drivers always breaking car, Gronk fix car...

MrKatharsis posted:

I really really want this. If I owned an acre of land and a single-wide, I would buy it in a second.

http://ocala.craigslist.org/car/672863879.html

whoa a 3efte, thats a fwd starlet engine and almost bolts into a 4cylinder charade chassis.

Simkin posted:

There's still plenty on the roads up here, and with the price of petrol where it is - $1.35/L - the asking price on any Sprint/Metro/Firefly/Swift around here has nearly doubled (in the space of 2 years or so).

Turbo sprints, however, never did seem that common around here. Having looked at the engine setup on one at a boneyard, I imagine a proper turbo setup, rather than the ghetto looking stock one, would probably perk it up quite a lot.

They were pretty good actually, were intercooled and had electronic ignition and rudimentary knock sensing. Much better than most turbo cars of its era. Too bad they were in the 1G swift which were total pieces of slow poo poo and the 70hp turbo engine wasn't a redeeming factor.

DJ Commie fucked around with this message at 07:33 on May 23, 2008

# ? May 23, 2008 07:24

DaNzA: Sep 11, 2001; :D; Grimey Drawer

Nitrox posted:

I see no problem with this add.

Are you sure? it doesn't quite ad up.

# ? May 23, 2008 08:55

Pretty Little Rainbow: Dec 27, 2005; by T. Finn

Nitrox posted:

I see no problem with this add.

Is this a typo or did you sneak in a craigslist reference there.

# ? May 23, 2008 10:29

Nitrox: Jul 5, 2002

Pretty Little Rainbow posted:

Is this a typo or did you sneak in a craigslist reference there.

You're giving me too much credit.

# ? May 23, 2008 19:13

oxbrain: Aug 18, 2005; Put a glide in your stride and a dip in your hip and come on up to the mothership.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/car/689897964.html

Lifted Ford Festiva on 25 inch MUDDERS Light Rack!!!

# ? May 23, 2008 20:50

DropShadow: Apr 15, 2003

oxbrain posted:

http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/car/689897964.html

Lifted Ford Festiva on 25 inch MUDDERS Light Rack!!!

Yeah I kind of want that.

# ? May 23, 2008 21:23

Jonontherun: Nov 29, 2003; Brooooooooooooom

DropShadow posted:

Yeah I kind of want that.

That was my first thought too. I'm not sure its 4wd, but it would make a kick rear end winter car.

# ? May 23, 2008 22:20

Laterite: Mar 14, 2007; It's Gutfest '89; Grimey Drawer

Thank you car dealer, for your wisdom and unbiased scientific opinion. I shall now purchase your SUV that is rapidly depreciating in value:

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/car/692635872.html

Here is the bulk of the text:

Car Dealer posted:

FUELING YOUR FEARS OVER FUEL PRICES

Here's the bottom-line.

Yes, there is a serious problem as the price of fuel will raise the price of everything .... BUT ... our national economic issues .... and global warming ..... are NOT going to solved if you drive a 40 miles per gallon Prius instead of a 20 miles per gallon Trailblazer !!!

The market adjusted retail pricing of these cars means that there is now an $ 8,000 difference from where it was just six months ago .... which means ... at a savings of $ 40 per tankful it will take you 200 tanks .... 80,000 miles to reach the BREAK-EVEN POINT.

And 80,000 miles from now ... the issue of service and replacement parts for a high-tech hybrid beyond warranty will become another factor.

The REAL problem is NOT a shortage of fuel, because there is not. It is because the government looked the other way as the oil companies ran wild without regulation ... until ... the domino effect on the economic integrity of the nation itself came into obvious in jeopardy.

WHAT YOU DRIVE IS NEITHER THE PROBLEM NOR THE SOLUTION ! THAT IS FAULTY LOGIC FILLED WITH HOLES. DO NOT FALL FOR IT.

YOU ARE NEITHER THE CAUSE NOR THE SOLUTION

YOU ... INDIVIDUALLY OR COLLECTIVELY ARE NOT CAUSING GLOBAL WARMING - NATIONAL ECONOMIC RECESSION - OR DEFORESTATION OF THE RAIN FORESTS IN BRAZIL BY NOT GETTING ENOUGH MILES PER GALLON TO BE

* * *

This vehicle was originally listed at $ 24,999 six months ago when the price of gas was nealy a dollar less than it is now.

The market value has dropped so it is CLEARANCE PRICED with a $ 5,000 discount.

# ? May 24, 2008 04:37

Simkin: May 18, 2007; "He says he's going to be number one!"

Huh. Who'd have guessed that dealers would become embittered at their high margin cars no longer being easy to flog. :confused:

# ? May 24, 2008 07:17

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

Wow...there is just so much wrong with that ad. I flagged "best of."

I like how he talks about how it has depreciated 8000 dollars in 6 months as though it was a selling point. THAT'S MONEY YOU SAVE, IT MORE THAN MAKES UP FOR THE PRICE OF GAS!

When it still costs as much as a Prius, and the price isn't going to stop dropping like a rock any time soon.

# ? May 24, 2008 07:26

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 08:21

French Canadian: Feb 23, 2004; Fluffy cat sensory experience

The backstory on this one is pretty clear, yes?

http://sandiego.craigslist.org/nsd/mcy/692655942.html

quote:

Need Motorcycle Will Trade-Custom Made 1 Carat Diamond/White Gold Ring with another 1 Carat of Diamond Begets

There is a one-carat round diamond solitaire on top.
Clarity Si-1 (only one slight inclusion)
Color H (better than average color, D is awesome but it is also $10k/carat) The Solitaire was purchased from a well-known jeweler. Have receipts.
We paid $3,800 for just the one-carat solitaire 11 years ago.
It comes with papers.

There is � carat of small diamonds going down each side of the ring.
They are recessed into the body of the ring. There are 14 small round diamonds going down each side of the ring) that total 1 carat.

There is about � ounce of 14k white gold in the ring.
Size 7 Can be sized up or down real easy.

The ring was designed and manufactured by an experienced and respected Greek jeweler out of Los Angeles. Recently appraised $6,500 for insurance.

$3,500 or trade for motorcycle�.

# ? May 24, 2008 07:51

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS

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