Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS

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Lyesh: Apr 9, 2003

timb posted:

Someone had to have that painted on there as a "Miatas are gay, amirite" joke, right? I mean, there's no way... Right?

Maybe it was just owned by a teenage girl in her unicorn phase.

# ? Jun 10, 2008 16:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2024 07:33

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

devnull420 posted:

Is that white thing in the background part penis / part ghost? Wtf?

I believe that is the moon rising over a waterfall.

Also, unicorn power.

# ? Jun 10, 2008 18:48

oxbrain: Aug 18, 2005; Put a glide in your stride and a dip in your hip and come on up to the mothership.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/car/713052126.html

$6000 festiva. :woop:

# ? Jun 10, 2008 20:04

bandman: Mar 17, 2008

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/car/715054106.html

$7,000 (well...$6,972) for a 95 Jeep Cherokee Sport w/ 138k miles.

Blue Book retail is like $4,000 in excellent condition. What kind of poo poo are they smoking to think they can sell a gas-hog Cherokee for drat near double Blue Book when gas is topping $4/gallon? That pricing wouldn't fly if gas was $1/gallon again, much less now that it's 4x as much. Don't they get ~15 mpg average with no cargo?

More power to them if some dumbshit buys it for that price, but I don't think I could sell it with a straight face.

# ? Jun 10, 2008 20:54

UnkleBoB: Jul 24, 2000; Beginner's Version, Copyright,
1991 - Please Copy and Distribute

http://tampa.craigslist.org/car/714582449.html

quote:

'96 Toyota Corolla - take over payments - $300
Reply to: sale-714582449@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-10, 9:26AM EDT

OK, this might be a long shot....I have a 1996 Corolla through Florida Auto Exchange, and I am looking for someone to take over the payments. They're $300 a month, and I can try to get them to take it over with no or minimal cash down. I have about 2.5 years left, but the car is in decent shape..new tires, brakes, fuel system and brakes just serviced. I got 31mpg in mixed driving. Car has 133,400 miles on it and is located in Pinellas Park. Pictures available upon request.

Sure I'll take over the 9000$ you have left to pay on your 12 year old Corolla!

# ? Jun 10, 2008 20:58

slidebite: Nov 6, 2005; Good egg

UnkleBoB posted:

http://tampa.craigslist.org/car/714582449.html

Sure I'll take over the 9000$ you have left to pay on your 12 year old Corolla!

How in the gently caress do people get into that kind of poo poo in the first place?

# ? Jun 10, 2008 21:02

bandman: Mar 17, 2008

UnkleBoB posted:

http://tampa.craigslist.org/car/714582449.html

Sure I'll take over the 9000$ you have left to pay on your 12 year old Corolla!

based on the monthly payment, if he got a loan for 7,500 for 3 yrs at 25% interest, he'd be around $300/mo. And that's the least asinine scenario I can come up with for ending up in that situation. Some of those fly-by-night places will finance anyone and stick them with like 25-30% interest loans. Then, when they inevitably get repoed in less than a year, they get the car back and put it on the lot again. Rinse, repeat.

I personally know someone that had a 2000 Malibu or something that they sold/repoed/sold again 4-5 times. They made at least double what they paid for the shitbox in the minimal interest payments these deadbeats make.

# ? Jun 10, 2008 21:08

UnkleBoB: Jul 24, 2000; Beginner's Version, Copyright,
1991 - Please Copy and Distribute

bandman posted:

based on the monthly payment, if he got a loan for 7,500 for 3 yrs at 25% interest, he'd be around $300/mo. And that's the least asinine scenario I can come up with for ending up in that situation. Some of those fly-by-night places will finance anyone and stick them with like 25-30% interest loans. Then, when they inevitably get repoed in less than a year, they get the car back and put it on the lot again. Rinse, repeat.

I personally know someone that had a 2000 Malibu or something that they sold/repoed/sold again 4-5 times. They made at least double what they paid for the shitbox in the minimal interest payments these deadbeats make.

Here are some of the commercials for the place they got that car from:

1.
2.

There are plenty of other ones, so you can see how someone who's got poo poo credit would end up in this kind of predicament.

# ? Jun 10, 2008 21:15

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

bandman posted:

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/car/715054106.html

$7,000 (well...$6,972) for a 95 Jeep Cherokee Sport w/ 138k miles.

Blue Book retail is like $4,000 in excellent condition. What kind of poo poo are they smoking to think they can sell a gas-hog Cherokee for drat near double Blue Book when gas is topping $4/gallon? That pricing wouldn't fly if gas was $1/gallon again, much less now that it's 4x as much. Don't they get ~15 mpg average with no cargo?

More power to them if some dumbshit buys it for that price, but I don't think I could sell it with a straight face.

Considering I can find one for $1,500 for that condition.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

EDIT: They get about 18-20 MPG at best

# ? Jun 10, 2008 21:19

Anti-Square: Jul 23, 2007; by Nutt Hogg

Trans Ferdinand posted:

Ah, you're wrong there, meatpimp! Traditionally, the word "dub" denotes 22" wheels, although many people have expanded the term to include all wheels of ridiculous size.

no, dubs are 20s. Dub deuces are usually what people call 22s if you want to use retarded slang.

# ? Jun 10, 2008 21:22

Wandering Idiot: Jul 22, 2003; by Ozma

http://nashville.craigslist.org/car/715336210.html

87 MONTE CARLO AERO - $17500

quote:

HAS T-TOPS VERY RARE
350 MOTOR 350 TRANS LAMBO ORANGE WITH 24'WHEELS
615------- SERIOUS CALLS ONLY

Like anyone is going to pay $17k for a UT orange lambo doored disgracing example of a Monte Carlo.

And just for the future when the ad is eventually down:

# ? Jun 11, 2008 01:01

Aran: Jan 17, 2007; by elpintogrande

Well hell, I'll give him $500 for it, so long as he keeps all the stupid poo poo.

# ? Jun 11, 2008 01:34

WTFBEES: Apr 21, 2005; butt

I'm tempted to go buy this bike just so I can talk to this comedic genius.

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/mcy/690193071.html

quote:

2005 Ninja Project Bike/Part Bike $500.00 - $500 (Tempe, AZ)

"Sharky" was a fast near mint (2005), little 250 with under 10k miles... until some hit 'n run cage jockey broadsided me.

Most of Sharky is still in good shape, that is the wheels are round, the frame isn't bent and most of the plastic and tank were spared abuse.

The unspeakable atrocities the oblivious fiend perpetrated upon Sharky:

The radiator was bisected...it is no more, also the metal hose the that transported coolant to, well, wherever coolant wanted to go was smooshed flat...noodle flat.

The generator cover, on the lower left side of the engine was holed...as to what like behind the cover i don't know but the little spinning flywheel is probable DOA as well.

All the juice ran out of Mr. Battery.

The left clip on was bent and is now... wiggly and half the clutch leaver went to clutch leaver heaven.

The fairing is...perhaps salvageable if ya sawed of the jagged bottom bits but the turn indicator on that side will never play the piano again.

That about it... everything else is there and working (even the plastic side panels that I forgot to but back on for the photo shoot)

I could part it out but I'm way too lazy and not all that mechanically inclined so the first $500 takes it...I'll certainly listen to ballpark cash offers, but it's a small ball park.

Title in hand... free test rides if you know of a big hill�

# ? Jun 11, 2008 02:26

Skier: Apr 24, 2003; Fuck yeah.; Fan of Britches

quote:

Only ridden in the rain once, and i washed it the next day so no water spots or any damage.

OH NO RAIN DAMAGE.

I was reading this ad as my motorcycle was in the parking lot at work under 2 inches of snow from a freak storm.

# ? Jun 12, 2008 17:54

BrokenKnucklez: Apr 22, 2008; by zen death robot

http://desmoines.craigslist.org/car/716949140.html

quote:

oh my girl stole $6000 if you see her in des moins let me know

pure gold

# ? Jun 12, 2008 18:16

You Am I: May 20, 2001; Me @ your poasting

BrokenKnucklez posted:

http://desmoines.craigslist.org/car/716949140.html

pure gold

Great description on the girl as well

# ? Jun 13, 2008 01:52

Lightbulb Out: Apr 28, 2006; slack jawed yokel

BrokenKnucklez posted:

http://desmoines.craigslist.org/car/716949140.html

pure gold

They're probably underwater now.

# ? Jun 13, 2008 02:00

Slippery: May 16, 2004; Muscles Boxcar

Wandering Idiot posted:

http://nashville.craigslist.org/car/715336210.html

87 MONTE CARLO AERO - $17500

Like anyone is going to pay $17k for a UT orange lambo doored disgracing example of a Monte Carlo.

And just for the future when the ad is eventually down:

The sad thing is that aero Montes are pretty rare and it's a shame he had to do that to it

# ? Jun 13, 2008 02:15

DropShadow: Apr 15, 2003

Slippery posted:

The sad thing is that aero Montes are pretty rare and it's a shame he had to do that to it

It looks like it could be saved. The body *appears* decent from the tiny tiny photo.

# ? Jun 13, 2008 02:47

Aegri Somnia: Sep 19, 2006; by Fragmaster

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/car/717338910.html

YO FELLAS - Women Have Dropped Their Panties To Get Into This Car

You have no idea how much cooch I�ve nailed because of this car. Girls have literally pulled off their panties once they got in. I think it�s the white on white that makes you seem like a common day night in shining armor on a white horse.
The awesome Pioneer, six speaker sound system pumps music loud and clear pulsating through every inch of your body. Girls just can�t help to take off their clothes.
I�ve had more sex with this car in the last 2 years, than all the years before it COMBINED.
I even nailed my mechanics daughter with this car. UNBELIEVABLE A chick magnet.
I�m getting married now and need to slow it down. But by no means should this sex-on-wheels go unused. You can take over where I left off.
$3500 gets you all the booty you can ask for.

# ? Jun 13, 2008 04:22

Mulletstation: May 9, 2004; mo' mullets mo' problems

Whoa, all the booty I can ask for? I'd be a fool NOT to buy this car.

# ? Jun 13, 2008 04:59

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

How much to have it reupholstered?

# ? Jun 13, 2008 06:29

Simkin: May 18, 2007; "He says he's going to be number one!"

quote:

I’ve had more sex with this car in the last 2 years, than all the years before it COMBINED.

...

quote:

I’ve had sex with this car.

http://jalopnik.com/391943/car-fuckers-documented-by-channel-5-horseman-number-4-also-spotted
I guess we figured out what he does when the magic starts to fade.

# ? Jun 13, 2008 08:10

DAT RAM: Dec 28, 2003; Laissez les bons temps rouler

Hey guys here's a good daily driver.

http://pensacola.craigslist.org/car/718542125.html

quote:

86 Chevy 4X4, 2 1/2 rockwell axles, 672 gears, front and rear pinion brakes, 53" tires, good running 355 chevy with 4speed tranny, lots of new parts in the motor, quick steering hydralic valve, really fun mud truck, clean florida title. Asking 4500 or best offer, or trade for something you have, call Kevin at 850-390-2526

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jun 13, 2008 20:06

snugglz: Nov 12, 2004; moist sod for your hogan

Aegri Somnia posted:

I�ve had more sex with this car in the last 2 years, than all the years before it COMBINED.

this is the greatest ad I've ever read on CL. I love how he mentions absolutely nothing about the car whatsoever -- just how we have "no idea" how much cooch he's nailed and how girls "literally" pull off their panties upon entering the car

Blooot posted:

Have you never heard Who Am I?(Sim Simma) by Beanie Man?

chorus:
Sim simma, who got the keys to my Bimmer
Who am I? The girls dem sugar
How can I, make love to a fellow?
In a rush, pass mi the keys to my truck
Who am I? The girls dem luck
And I and I will make love to Precious

I have to admit to occasionally saying "sim simma, who got the keys to mah bimmer" whilst looking for my keys

# ? Jun 13, 2008 21:14

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

Bob Sapp Please posted:

Hey guys here's a good daily driver.

http://pensacola.craigslist.org/car/718542125.html

Truckboattruck

# ? Jun 13, 2008 22:15

glyph: Apr 6, 2006

http://ithaca.craigslist.org/car/714288793.html

"The wheels on the car don't go with it but the original wheels do."

:psyduck:

# ? Jun 13, 2008 23:25

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

glyph posted:

http://ithaca.craigslist.org/car/714288793.html

"The wheels on the car don't go with it but the original wheels do."

What's so

about that?

This could be real gold or comedy gold, regardless, depending how Barrett Jackson he's going.

# ? Jun 14, 2008 00:05

glyph: Apr 6, 2006

VideoTapir posted:

What's so about that?

This could be real gold or comedy gold, regardless, depending how Barrett Jackson he's going.

i understand that sentence as "the wheels on the car aren't OEM, but the OEM ones were."

# ? Jun 14, 2008 01:59

V-Dubling: Jun 19, 2006; I really do love to fart

Simkin posted:

...

http://jalopnik.com/391943/car-fuckers-documented-by-channel-5-horseman-number-4-also-spotted
I guess we figured out what he does when the magic starts to fade.

Leave that volkswagen alone you creepy gently caress.

# ? Jun 14, 2008 02:06

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

glyph posted:

i understand that sentence as "the wheels on the car aren't OEM, but the OEM ones were."

You don't get the wheels in the picture. You get the original wheels.

# ? Jun 14, 2008 04:28

Simkin: May 18, 2007; "He says he's going to be number one!"

V-Dubling posted:

Leave that volkswagen alone you creepy gently caress.

Hey, it's not his fault that some faceless company decided to christen it the love bug. :glomp:

# ? Jun 14, 2008 09:30

DAT RAM: Dec 28, 2003; Laissez les bons temps rouler

Hey I think this truck might be a hybrid, but I'm not sure.

quote:

For Sale...2007 Chevrolet Silverado HYBRID...milage...21232...$19,500
The way GAS is getting we all should be driving a HYBRID Vehicles
The price of fuel is over the top these days...the time to conserve is NOW.
Gas & Electric HYBRID Cars are the Future...Don't be left in the past
Save Money...Save Gas...

http://pensacola.craigslist.org/car/719674759.html

# ? Jun 15, 2008 14:59

Wandering Idiot: Jul 22, 2003; by Ozma

I loving hate car salesmen that try to push off any generic vehicle as a hybrid. Obviously that guy is trying to dupe someone and likely wouldn't listen to a hoard of people trying to correct him. It's probably just some flexfuel piece of poo poo.

Edit: After doing some additional research, he may not be as full of it as I had thought. Turns out GM offered a hybrid model pickup in 2007 for a lot of the west coast and florida, according to NADA.

Link

quote:

A Hybrid model, available only in California, Washington, Oregon, Alaska, Nevada and Florida, promises up to 10 percent better fuel economy with the same power and performance as the 5.3-liter V8. In fact, the Hybrid is powered by that same engine, developing the same 295 horsepower and 335 pound-feet of torque. Sandwiched between the engine and the four-speed automatic transmission is a compact 14-kilowatt (19-horsepower) electric motor/generator.

I seem to think GM would have made a bigger deal of this than they did, considering most of us have probably never heard of this.

drat YOU \/\/ Not really.

Haha, my Civic has a bigger electric motor than that, by 1hp, but still.

Wandering Idiot fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Jun 15, 2008

# ? Jun 15, 2008 21:35

King: Jun 28, 2006; Not Kong

Wandering Idiot posted:

I loving hate car salesmen that try to push off any generic vehicle as a hybrid. Obviously that guy is trying to dupe someone and likely wouldn't listen to a hoard of people trying to correct him. It's probably just some flexfuel piece of poo poo.

Actually that is a real hybrid. I don't remember it adding very much to MPG, though. That seems like a decent price, but then again I've never looked at pricing for one.

# ? Jun 15, 2008 21:54

Method Loser: Oct 10, 2001

This is pretty drat cool, if I do say so myself, even though I think it's a scam probably:

http://bham.craigslist.org/car/721087757.html

# ? Jun 16, 2008 05:20

NyetscapeNavigator: Sep 22, 2003

^ You're supposed to take a screenshot. :colbert:

# ? Jun 16, 2008 06:16

Dilbert.: Feb 20, 2006; two thumbs uuughhlp

I found this bothersome. Then I saw this was in San Jose, so I'm not that surprised.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/car/720352130.html

quote:

RE: 1991 acura integra low miles all power leather sporty SCAMMER!!! - - $1 (san jose west)
Date: 2008-06-15, 6:10PM PDT

"WARNING: THIS GUY'S NAME IS JUAN MORALES! I BOUGHT A CAR FROM HIM FOR 1,000 DOLLARS.
HE CLAIMED THAT IT RAN FINE AND THAT THEIR WAS NO PROBLEMS WITH IT!HE ALSO NEVER HAD ME SIGN A RELEASE OF RESPONSIBILITY OR THE TRANSFER TITLE!
I PAID HIM AND HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYE, SHOOK HIS HAND AND SAID THAT IF THE CAR HAD ANY PROBLEMS THAT HE WOULD RETURN THE MONEY.
THE CARS HE SELLS HE GETS THEM FROM PRO STAR TOWING COMPANY. WHICH HE CLAIMS HE WORKS FOR.
I CALLED THE COMPANY DUE TO THE FACT HE HAD GIVEN ME A SET OF PAPERS WITH THEIR NAME ON THEM. HE DOES NOT WORK FOR THEM SO THEY CLAIM.(AND THEY DO NOT CARE TO CLEAR THERE NAME FOR THAT MATTER)
HE BROUGHT ME TO HIS "SISTER" HOUSE ON VINE STREET IN SAN JOSE! TOOK THE MONEY
AND RAN.

I WENT BACK TO THE VEHICLE AND IT DID NOT START. I GOT SCREWED OUT OF 1K AND NOW I HAVE TO GO TO COURT OVER THIS.

TO TOP IT OFF I FOUND A METH PIPE IN THE CAR DRIVER SEAT WHERE HE WAS DRIVING IT.. THE REST OF THE CAR WAS SPOTLESS, SO IT WAS APPARENT THAT IT WAS HIM.

I HAVE TRIED CONTACTING HIM AND CONTACTING HIS "EMPLOYER" HE (JUAN ) HAS ADMITTED THAT HE "DOES THIS ALL THE TIME AND ITS MY CAR. HE GOES TO COURT ALL THE TIME AND HE WILL NOT GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY." ALSO IT WAS HIS METH PIPE.

NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM PISSED OFF AND HAVE BEEN REALLY HURT AND SCAMMED BY THIS GUY.

DON'T BE STUPID DO NO GIVE THIS GUY ANYMORE MONEY...THE CAR WILL RUN AROUND FOR 35 MINS OR SO THEN START TO SHOW ITS TRUE CONDITION!!

THIS MAN IS JUAN MORALES, HIS PHONE NUMBER IS 408 401 0892
I TRACED BACK TO SPRINT CELL PHONE COMPANY.

I ENCOURGE YOU TO RESPOND TO MY EMAIL AND LETS START A CIVIL SUIT AGAINST HIM.
ALSO LETS GET JERKS LIKE THIS OFF OF CRAIGSLIST.ORG

THE AD GOES AS FOLLOWS:

1991 acura integra low miles all power leather sporty 4cyl.gas saver - $16 (san jose west)

PostingID: 720078481

i have a 1991 acura integra i wanna sell asap. i only want $1675 Or Best offer.. it has only 129k miles it's automatic runs good nothing wrong with the car tires are good tag is valid till feb 09 ac everything works fine sellin cheap wont last obo if intrested please CALL ME if seriuosly intereses 408 4 0 1 0 8 9 2 .......SE HABLO ESPANOL ..........thx for reading my ad

edit: found original post/complaint/expos�: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/car/720352130.html

Dilbert. fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Jun 16, 2008

# ? Jun 16, 2008 12:20

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

I hope you guys are flagging best of when you find a real gem like the previous post. I know I am.

# ? Jun 16, 2008 21:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2024 07:33

Panty Saluter: Jan 17, 2004; Making learning fun!

http://austin.craigslist.org/car/719982942.html

quote:

2008 Chevrolet Cobalt, Impala or Pontiac Grand Prix - Bankruptcy OK! - $299 (a month* in Austin NO MONEY DOWN!)
Reply to: sale-719982942@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-14, 4:34PM CDT

Special arrangement with a Major Lendor

I can help you get your credit reestablished.

Recent BankRuptcys are OK

IF
1) The Bankruptcy has been completed and you have proof of the Discharge
2) You have handled your handled your financial matters since then properly
3) You can prove your residence (i.e. phone bill, water bill, electric bill etc)
4) You have a telephone in your name at the address you use (cell phone is OK)
5) You have a Drivers License
6) you have a Social Security Card
7) You can provide Proof of Income
8) You can provide 7 personal referances with name, address and phone numbers

Some DownPayment MAY be required but not always. Depends on your situation.

This is not a Drive Here/Pay Here program that requires weekly payments on overpriced cars and never reports the fact that you are paying on time to a credit bureau.

This is a major lendor that will report your timely payments.

These are not old cars with a lot of mileage.

These are GM Certified vehicles with 100,000 mile warranties on the Drivetrain (engine and transmission) and some remaining Bumper to Bumper Coverage on the rest of the car. Warrranty coverage is from the manufacturer, General Motors, not some aftermarket arrangement.

If you are interested in the above respond by email or call Rick at (512) 289-3673 today!

*sample payment of $299 a month is on a 2008 Chevrolet Cobalt for 72 months with no money down with approval of credit.

* This item has been posted by-dealer.
* Location: a month* in Austin NO MONEY DOWN!
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Yes, you can have a Cobalt for the low low price of $21,000! Never mind the fact that it'll only be worth $2000 by the time you finish paying for it.^*

^*_{or 8000 when you default on it}

# ? Jun 16, 2008 22:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS

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