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The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.

Crazy Ted posted:

Tim Keown: STEP ON UP!

I'd be mad if I weren't so thoroughly confused


quote:

And then he sees Kobe shooting an assault weapon on TV, along with Jimmy Kimmel and those other "ordinary" people, including an overweight girl wearing glasses and a revenge-is-mine smile as she fires into a building. (She's apparently in the throes of a self-esteem bump, but it doesn't take much of a leap to see her as a geek settling things with a gun.)


Is there even a case on record of a girl orchestrating a high school shooting?

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oldfan
Jul 22, 2007

"Mathewson pitched against Cincinnati yesterday. Another way of putting it is that Cincinnati lost a game of baseball."

The broken bones posted:

why is it that Philadelphia is like the only place on the planet where black baseball players get undeserved praise and white baseball players are treated with contempt?

Philadelphia media and fans turn on players really quickly and usually for no good reason.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Crazy Ted posted:

Tim Keown: STEP ON UP!

Let's just be clear, that Black Ops commercial loving owns.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal

The broken bones posted:

Is there even a case on record of a girl orchestrating a high school shooting?

There will be now :twisted:

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

:stare:

no seriously

:stare:

chutwig
May 28, 2001

BURLAP SATCHEL OF CRACKERJACKS

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

:stare:

no seriously

:stare:

If Utley is dealt for anyone short of a package of Pujols, Tulowitzki and Posey I will poop into my Phillies hat and mail it to Ruben.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

chutwig posted:

If Utley is dealt for anyone short of a package of Pujols, Tulowitzki and Posey I will poop into my Phillies hat and mail it to Ruben.

my favorite part was my reaction to the headline being immediately one-upped by my reaction to "they could throw in Dom Brown to make it work!"

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
Chase Utley and Dom Brown for Matt Kemp would probably be the greatest trade ever.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

seiferguy posted:

Chase Utley and Dom Brown for Matt Kemp would probably be the greatest trade ever.

If it wasn't ~My Chase~, I would desperately want that trade to happen.

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

Wilbon is leaving the Washington Post

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowldc/wilbon-leaving-wapo_b25621

quote:

Longtime WaPo sports columnist Michael Wilbon is leaving the Post to pursue his second life with ESPN/ABC full time. Memo announcing Wilbon’s departure below:

“In many respects this should come as no surprise to anyone here, but it doesn’t mean that making this announcement is any easier. The ESPN/ABC rocket ship that Michael Wilbon has been riding the past several years has finally left our orbit. Wilbon will soon be leaving the Post – a place he has called home for nearly 32 years – as he takes on an even greater role for his networks and their parent company, Disney.

Mike is many things. Talented. Gracious. Smart. Witty. He’ll tell you that despite his increasing fame and renown, in his mind he still considers this newspaper to be the only place he’s ever worked. So this decision did not come easy for him. In fact, he long hoped that he would not have to make it.

We’ll have occasions to toast Mike in the weeks ahead. But for now, let us just say that for a kid from Northwestern who began as an intern here in the summer of 1979 and went on to amass 5,982 bylines in Sports (before ArkType stopped counting with the arrival of Methode), 34 bylines on A1, 7 bylines in Metro, 3 in Style, 2 in Business, 2 in the Magazine and 1 in Outlook, it’s been one heck of a ride. We’ll make him earn a few more bylines before the end of the year. ”

Wilbon’s career at The Washington Post spans nearly 32 years. In his position, he has covered ten Summer and Winter Olympic Games, every Super Bowl since 1987, nearly every Final Four since 1982 and each year’s NBA Finals since 1987.

Parlett316
Dec 6, 2002

Jon Snow is viciously stabbed by his friends in the night's watch for wanting to rescue Mance Rayder from Ramsay Bolton
Thank God, his local reporting loving sucked.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
His national sports reporting kind of sucks, but it sucks in an entertaining way.

rscott
Dec 10, 2009
That article about Kobe in the Black Ops commercial is one of the most enraging things I have ever read.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

So I guess that means Michael Wilbon will make living off his reputation officially a full-time job.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
http://www.murraychass.com/?p=2621

yeah that happened

The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

http://www.murraychass.com/?p=2621

yeah that happened

hahaha. Chass would be in the Troll Hall of Fame.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

quote:

Longtime WaPo sports columnist Michael Wilbon is leaving the Post to pursue...second life

Bigass Moth
Mar 6, 2004

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.
:boom:
he knows...

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

http://www.murraychass.com/?p=2621

yeah that happened

"Just ERA+, baby!" - sportswriters of the future

Jota
May 6, 2003

uga-booga uga-booga

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

http://www.murraychass.com/?p=2621

yeah that happened

Hahahah he actually uses new-fangled

"The development, I believe, is directly related to the growing influence of the new-fangled statistics which readers of this site know I have no use for, a fact that sends stats-freak denizens of the blogosphere into a stats-freak frenzy."

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

ERA, a new-fangled stat

BackInTheUSSR
Jun 22, 2004

1.5 HR/9
ACE
Don't even bother clicking this but http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/twocents/content/cy-young-voters-got-it-wrong ---

quote:

"It means, essentially, that win-loss record is no factor."

b
i
n
g
loving
o

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

quote:

It means, essentially, that win-loss record is no factor.

                \

                  

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Doesn't the fact that Felix accounted for over 20% of Seattle's wins this year count for anything in that guy's mind?

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.
Murray Chass' 2009 Hall of Fame Ballot: Jack Morris, Jim Rice

I think that explains him completely.

DO YALL WANT A BOXC
Jul 20, 2010

HAHA! WOOOOOOO WOOO!
Fun Shoe
do old people not know how to use google because OPS and WHIP aren't hard to figure out and you could do it with a slide rule even.

long live felix gently caress the haters

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






leokitty posted:

Murray Chass' 2009 Hall of Fame Ballot: Jack Morris, Jim Rice

I think that explains him completely.

Is he one of those NO PLAYER GETS IN ON THE FIRST BALLOT jagoffs?

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.

haljordan posted:

Is he one of those NO PLAYER GETS IN ON THE FIRST BALLOT jagoffs?

Don't think so, he was a writer for the NY TImes for 40 or 50 years or something so he has only been able to vote since 2008 when he was fired.

Bigass Moth
Mar 6, 2004

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.
:boom:
he knows...

haljordan posted:

Doesn't the fact that Felix accounted for over 20% of Seattle's wins this year count for anything in that guy's mind?

He also accounted for over 20% of their losses!!!

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Bigass Moth posted:

He also accounted for over 20% of their losses!!!

All I can say to that is......Man, the Mariners are awful.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Bigass Moth posted:

He also accounted for over 20% of their losses!!!

What, no he didn't?

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal

Mornacale posted:

What, no he didn't?

Past win-loss record I'm assuming he means the Mariners lost over 20 times Felix made a start regardless if he was the pitcher of record.

Edit: haven't looked this up myself if true, but I'm assuming that's the case?

Double edit: quick glance at B-R, team lost 17 times while Felix pitched.

seiferguy fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Nov 20, 2010

The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.
x-postin'




(Justin Beiber wore a Yankees hat while performing in Boston; Simmons called it "beatdown-worthy")

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






The broken bones posted:

x-postin'




(Justin Beiber wore a Yankees hat while performing in Boston; Simmons called it "beatdown-worthy")

How much jail time do you think I'd get for hitting Simmons with a sack of doorknobs? I bet I could plead it down to simple assault and wind up with a fine & some community service.

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming
Just think of how many years of Simmons PTI appearances we were spared because he's (justifiably) self-conscious about his stupid voice

Konstantin
Jun 20, 2005
And the Lord said, "Look, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do; nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.

haljordan posted:

How much jail time do you think I'd get for hitting Simmons with a sack of doorknobs? I bet I could plead it down to simple assault and wind up with a fine & some community service.

No jury would convict you.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
Oh hey guys, just passing through. Gonna leave this here on my way out don't mind me.

http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/story/14385897/yanks-cut-drama-and-give-jeter-what-he-wants

What. A real person wrote this? posted:

Yanks, cut drama and give Jeter fair offer for an icon

Derek Jeter held hostage, Day 40. ...

The bruised and battered captive, er, Captain, is brought into the plush Yankees offices in Tampa, Fla. It is Tuesday. It is time for another whipping. The Yankees brass is ready to get down to brass tacks. Maybe this time they'll tell the shortstop he can keep the $100 bills they routinely lose under the leather sofa cushions to supplement his dramatic cut in pay.


Derek Jeter has become the face and the voice of the New York Yankees and wants to keep getting paid like it. (Getty Images)
Jeter, dazed, dehydrated and blindfolded, is wearing a Movado watch, but it's old and the glass on its face is smashed. He's unshaven, as it's been weeks since his Gillette endorsement has allowed a new supply of razors.

He is wearing his Nikes. But they are, gasp, LAST YEAR'S model!

Gingerly, general manager Brian Cashman offers a Gatorade-soaked sponge and allows Jeter three or four licks at it. Endorsements are drying up more rapidly than the parched Jeter's tongue. In the background, Hank Steinbrenner is cackling, something about "Let him eat cake, hahaha ... hahaha ... HAHAHAHA!"

Jeter remembers the time he danced in that Visa commercial with Hank's Old Man. Those were good days. "If only he were still alive," the Captive Captain thinks. "Then none of this would be happening. ...


Thanks, laters.

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.
:stare:

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
I didn't know journalists were allowed to post fanfic and pass it off as real articles.

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.

Badfinger posted:

Oh hey guys, just passing through. Gonna leave this here on my way out don't mind me.

http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/story/14385897/yanks-cut-drama-and-give-jeter-what-he-wants


Thanks, laters.

I ... I thought that was written by the Doyel troll but when I clicked I learned that, no, it is from Scott Miller.

Jesus

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euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

I was listening to Mike and Mike this morning. They were talking about tonight's Cavs Heat game and Mike Golic said "the actual game is the least interesting part of this story."


I thought that summed up ESPN and sports journalism nicely.

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