KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

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neoboman: Feb 16, 2007

jojoinnit posted:

You think you're the number one dad!?

See this? World's... Greatest Dad. Which means I'm better than just number one.

# ? Dec 28, 2010 01:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 09:06

LesterGroans: Jun 9, 2009; It's funny...

You were so scary at night.

neoboman posted:

See this? World's... Greatest Dad. Which means I'm better than just number one.

Well, I don't know how official any of these rankings really are.

# ? Dec 28, 2010 02:05

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

LesterGroans posted:

Well, I don't know how official any of these rankings really are.

You think you're better than me?

# ? Dec 28, 2010 14:04

My Q-Face: Jul 8, 2002; A dumb racist who need to kill themselves

Ehud posted:

You think you're better than me?

It's GO TIME!

# ? Dec 28, 2010 16:30

The Human Cow: May 24, 2004; hurry up

All aboard the pain train!

# ? Dec 28, 2010 17:43

Robnoxious: Feb 17, 2004

Officer Lou: Did Kimberly steal Jo's baby?

Jerry: I don't know.

Officer Lou: Did Billy sleep with Allison's best friend?

Jerry: I don't know.

Officer Lou: Did Jane's finance kidnap Sydney and take her to Las Vegas? And if so, did she enjoy it?

Jerry: I don't know.

Officer Lou: Did Jane sleep with Michael again?

Jerry: *pause* Yes! That stupid idiot! He left her for Kimberly, he slept with her sister! He tricked her into giving him half her business, and then she goes ahead and sleeps with him again! I mean she's crazy! How could she do something like that? Oh that Jane, she makes me so mad!

# ? Dec 28, 2010 20:12

LesterGroans: Jun 9, 2009; It's funny...

You were so scary at night.

Robnoxious posted:

Officer Lou: Did Kimberly steal Jo's baby?

Jerry: I don't know.

Officer Lou: Did Billy sleep with Allison's best friend?

Jerry: I don't know.

Officer Lou: Did Jane's finance kidnap Sydney and take her to Las Vegas? And if so, did she enjoy it?

Jerry: I don't know.

Officer Lou: Did Jane sleep with Michael again?

Jerry: *pause* Yes! That stupid idiot! He left her for Kimberly, he slept with her sister! He tricked her into giving him half her business, and then she goes ahead and sleeps with him again! I mean she's crazy! How could she do something like that? Oh that Jane, she makes me so mad!

Haha, watching that episode right now. Lou's delivery kills me.

(I still hate the woman's acting in this episode though.)

# ? Dec 28, 2010 20:44

Supreme Allah: Oct 6, 2004; everybody relax, i'm here; Nap Ghost

It says twist off Twist OFF TWIST, OFF!

# ? Dec 28, 2010 23:24

Cage: Jul 17, 2003; www.revivethedrive.org

Supreme Allah posted:

It says twist off Twist OFF TWIST, OFF!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=590rXJIVCQc

# ? Dec 29, 2010 02:07

BlackJosh: Sep 25, 2007

Cage posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=590rXJIVCQc

This scene kills me every time.

What episode is it from?

# ? Dec 29, 2010 07:07

tk: Dec 10, 2003; Nap Ghost

BlackJosh posted:

This scene kills me every time.

What episode is it from?

The Fix Up

# ? Dec 29, 2010 07:17

Philip J Fry: Apr 25, 2007; go outside and have a blast

^^^ 03x16; The Fix-Up.

efb. It has Janice from Friends in it, kind of a trip.

# ? Dec 29, 2010 07:18

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Philip J Fry posted:

^^^ 03x16; The Fix-Up.

efb. It has Janice from Friends in it, kind of a trip.

I love how Elaine stresses how great the eyebrows are to a disinterested Jerry, who eventually tries to sell this point to George who responds with,"....who cares about eyebrows?"

# ? Dec 29, 2010 07:57

Philip J Fry: Apr 25, 2007; go outside and have a blast

And George ends up banging her in the kitchen with one of Kramer's bargain-bin condoms anyway. :huh:

# ? Dec 29, 2010 08:14

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Philip J Fry posted:

And George ends up banging her in the kitchen with one of Kramer's bargain-bin condoms anyway.

I did it! My boys can swim!

# ? Dec 29, 2010 08:24

wa27: Jan 15, 2007

Jerusalem posted:

I love how Elaine stresses how great the eyebrows are to a disinterested Jerry, who eventually tries to sell this point to George who responds with,"....who cares about eyebrows?"

George's line is great there because it's right after he gets done asking about every other minute detail about her ("Do her cheeks have a pinkish hue?")

# ? Dec 29, 2010 08:29

Jingleheimer: Mar 30, 2006

"...There's a hue."

# ? Dec 29, 2010 08:32

Dan a man: Dec 27, 2004; If there's really so many people in the world, there had to be someone who wasn't ordinary, someone who was living an interesting life. But why wasn't I that ChuChu?

That's a great scene.

Let me ask you this. If you stick your hand in the hair is it easy to get it out?

# ? Dec 29, 2010 12:46

Chicolini: Sep 22, 2007; I hate cold showers. They stimulate me and then I don't know what to do.

Do you want to be able to get it out?

# ? Dec 29, 2010 13:09

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

I'd like to be able to get it out...

# ? Dec 29, 2010 13:41

bobservo: Jul 24, 2003

Really... very... nice and good.

# ? Dec 29, 2010 21:59

LividLiquid: Apr 13, 2002

I think you'll be able to get it out.

# ? Dec 29, 2010 22:07

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

I've seen him lift 100 pounds over his head without even knowing it!

# ? Dec 29, 2010 23:32

Supreme Allah: Oct 6, 2004; everybody relax, i'm here; Nap Ghost

You wouldn't know it to look at him, but George can bait a hook!

# ? Dec 29, 2010 23:57

stratdax: Sep 14, 2006

Is there a Seinfeld line that goes "do you think amputees who get married have lower divorce rates?" Or anything similar to that?

# ? Dec 30, 2010 00:33

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

quone! to quone something!

# ? Dec 30, 2010 01:23

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Demon Of The Fall posted:

quone! to quone something!

Nah, we need a medical dictionary! If a patient gets difficult, you quone him!

# ? Dec 30, 2010 01:41

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft!

# ? Dec 30, 2010 03:32

Libandano Urfam: Apr 23, 2010

Snoopy and Prickly Pete!

# ? Dec 30, 2010 06:30

bruckner: Sep 11, 2010

"Where did the Rosses get the idea that you have a place in the Hamptons?"
"From me"
"And why is that?"
"I told them I have a place in the hamptons.... what did you tell them??"
"I told them,.. you didn't!!!!"

---------------------
"Oh, look! An antique store! Pull over so we can get George a house warming gift!"

"You wanna kick this up a notch, let's kick it up a notch!!!!"

# ? Dec 30, 2010 07:23

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

bruckner posted:

"Where did the Rosses get the idea that you have a place in the Hamptons?"
"From me"
"And why is that?"
"I told them I have a place in the hamptons.... what did you tell them??"
"I told them,.. you didn't!!!!"

Susan: Are you and George.... having an affair?
Elaine: :haw:

# ? Dec 30, 2010 07:59

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Libandano Urfam posted:

Snoopy and Prickly Pete!

Oooh, Slipper Pete is no friend.

And I always found it rather...unsettling...that he orders a big glass of milk. It's pretty much a fact that ordering milk in a restaurant is weird.

# ? Dec 30, 2010 15:09

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

Jerusalem posted:

Susan: Are you and George.... having an affair?
Elaine:

Who would sleep with George!?

Oh....sorry.

# ? Dec 30, 2010 15:31

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

This is one of my favorite scenes. I love that for once George is composed and on track and everyone else can't focus.

GEORGE: Slippery Pete, Kramer tells me you are one hell of a rogue electrician. And shlomo, you're the best truck driver.

SHLOMO: I don't know If I'm the best.

GEORGE: Oh...you're very good.

SHLOMO: Let's say "good."

GEORGE: Ok. Good. And Kramer, you're in charge of taping off the loading zone.

KRAMER: Lock and load.

SLIPPERY PETE: You think you can handle that, numb nuts?

KRAMER: All right, all right, come on, now.

SLIPPERY PETE: That was my mail-order bride.

KRAMER: Hey, you weren't home, so I signed for her.

SLIPPERY PETE: It doesn't give you the right to make out with her.

KRAMER: You weren't even married yet.

GEORGE: All right, all right, calm down, calm down. Whatever happened in the past is past.

George gets a napkin and starts to draw on it.

GEORGE: Now, this is the basic layout for Mario's Pizza.

SHLOMO: So what kind of jail time are we looking at if we're caught?

GEORGE: What do you mean?

SLIPPERY PETE: We're stealing this thing, right?

GEORGE: No. I--I paid for it.

SLIPPERY PETE: I thought we were stealing it.

KRAMER: Yeah. It feels like we're stealing it.

GEORGE: We're not stealing it.

SHLOMO: I definitely thought we're stealing it.

GEORGE: All right, let's--let's focus. Can we get back to the plan?

SLIPPERY PETE: Well, I need a battery for this kind of a job. Can I at least steal a battery?

GEORGE: Fine. Steal the battery. Now, all right, here is the Frogger. This is the front door, and this is the outlet.

SLIPPERY PETE: What's that?

GEORGE: The outlet?

SLIPPERY PETE: Mm-hmm.

GEORGE: That's where the electricity comes out.

SLIPPERT PETE: Oh, you mean the holes.

SHLOMO: Which one's the bathroom?

GEORGE: Uh, here.

SHLOMO: They put the Frogger with the toilet? Yecchh.

GEORGE: The Frogger is here.

KRAMER: George, I thought that was the door.

SLIPPERY PETE: Where are all the pizza ovens?

SHLOMO: I thought the bathroom was here.

# ? Dec 30, 2010 16:32

The Leck: Feb 27, 2001

DrBouvenstein posted:

Oooh, Slipper Pete is no friend.

And I always found it rather...unsettling...that he orders a big glass of milk. It's pretty much a fact that ordering milk in a restaurant is weird.

Peter Stormare ordering anything in a restaurant is unsettling.

# ? Dec 30, 2010 16:34

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

"HOLES, I need holes!"

# ? Dec 30, 2010 17:22

Capt. Sticl: Jul 24, 2002; In Zion I was meant to be
'Doze the homes
Block the sea
With this great ship at my command
I'll plunder all the Promised Land!