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MaxDuo
Aug 13, 2010

Mr. Toad posted:

The DM isn't on the shop floor often, but he's like retail Jesus when he sets foot out there. He's quite a rare specimen, a manager with a spine and a set of balls.

So I assume your DM is actually a cool guy? Our DM is a gigantic rear end in a top hat. His district is known as the worst one to work for in the company. People who arrive here that weren't here before comment on never being so stressed in the company. And those who leave our district are usually like: "Wow, it's actually not as Hellish working for the company when we're out of his district."

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Apocalypse Please
May 7, 2007

Is you takin' notes on a criminal fuckin' conspiracy?!

Dodgeball posted:

Did it look something like this?

Yep that's it! Apparently the dude under the car in that pic got out with a broken wrist (and probably a huge settlement).

The Robins Taley
Apr 3, 2006

I'd bone her.
I was sweeping up popcorn around the concession stand tonight when a customer, no, "guest" walked up to me to tell me that the butter was out in our butter machines. I was looking down while sweeping and didn't look up at him, but I cheerfully nodded and said "okay, thanks for letting me know!!" Apparently he didn't hear me say this because the next thing I know I feel his hand tap me twice on the shoulder "EXCUSE ME I SAID THE BUTTER WAS OUT IN THIS MACHINE!"

Jesus Christ you rear end in a top hat I loving said okay don't loving touch me. It wasn't even a light, friendly tap either, it was forceful and super rude. What the gently caress??

manguero
Jul 5, 2009

MaxDuo posted:

So I assume your DM is actually a cool guy? Our DM is a gigantic rear end in a top hat. His district is known as the worst one to work for in the company. People who arrive here that weren't here before comment on never being so stressed in the company. And those who leave our district are usually like: "Wow, it's actually not as Hellish working for the company when we're out of his district."

I think when he said DM he meant department manager. It threw me too for a second.

Gilyon
Mar 4, 2010

Mr. Toad posted:

:devil:: Madam I'd greatly appreciate you leaving our premises.

I don't understand why managers don't do this more often. I mean, when I'm not exaggerating how stupid customers are I'd say that like 99% of people come into the store I work at, buy something, and leave without issue. Why do stores feel the need to humor and put up with an abusive customer so they can make a few dollars off of whatever one item s/he wants to buy? It makes employee moral go down, which costs productivity, which I'm drat sure costs the store more than one jackass's purchases would cost.

Oscar Romeo Romeo
Apr 16, 2010

If she hadn't upset the other customer (a potential sale) and driven him out of the store, the DM probably would have watched it continue a bit further to see how far it went. That said, if he she'd been abusive towards myself and the other customer wasn't involved, we probably would have had the same outcome. One of the technical support staff members was called a bitch last week by a customer who was then promptly escorted out of the building.

MaxDuo posted:

So I assume your DM is actually a cool guy? Our DM is a gigantic rear end in a top hat. His district is known as the worst one to work for in the company. People who arrive here that weren't here before comment on never being so stressed in the company. And those who leave our district are usually like: "Wow, it's actually not as Hellish working for the company when we're out of his district."

He's great. There are a few who don't like him because if there's work to be done and he spots you slacking off, you'll drat well know about it. But that's fair, he's just doing his job which is to make sure we do ours (among many other things he has to handle). Don't be stupid and he can be a great guy to work for. He's got a fantastic sense of humour and always backs up the staff if a customer gets out of hand.

manguero posted:

I think when he said DM he meant department manager. It threw me too for a second.

This. We don't really district managers. The buying team at head office sort of act as district managers, making occasional branch visits once or twice a year. They're also very easy to get on with.

EDIT: Actually didn't have any batshit insane customers today. :)

Oscar Romeo Romeo fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Jan 9, 2011

ChirpChirpCheep
Apr 22, 2008

Gilyon posted:

I don't understand why managers don't do this more often. I mean, when I'm not exaggerating how stupid customers are I'd say that like 99% of people come into the store I work at, buy something, and leave without issue. Why do stores feel the need to humor and put up with an abusive customer so they can make a few dollars off of whatever one item s/he wants to buy? It makes employee moral go down, which costs productivity, which I'm drat sure costs the store more than one jackass's purchases would cost.

I agree with this. It's better than the normal situation of the customer getting unreasonable and abusive towards an employee, the employee calling a manager, the manager giving the customer whatever they want and the customer leaving with a sense of entitlement and reinforced in the conviction that if they make enough of a scene they can get whatever the gently caress they want (great news for the next employee they come across!)

JamesJBuffalkill posted:

If they weren't cowardly losers they wouldn't be retail managers.

I want to get this cross stitched on a throw pillow.

Leal
Oct 2, 2009
Alright well I'm back in California. They made me drive 26 hours to work 4 days. And they want me to drive to Nevada on the 21rst for all I know, another 4 days of work.

I'm back to hating my job :smithicide:

MaxDuo
Aug 13, 2010

Mr. Toad posted:

This. We don't really district managers. The buying team at head office sort of act as district managers, making occasional branch visits once or twice a year. They're also very easy to get on with.


Pretty nice that you rarely see these guys that at least "act" as your District Managers.... Ours is in our store 3 or 4 days a week usually. He might visit the other stores once or twice... but he'll VERY often be in ours. Even on a Saturday he'll come in, then bitch if we have lines (whoops, 6 of our 8 registers are open, maybe we should open more! - oh wait, we've only got 2 people left on the floor for the entire store! Time to bitch about that as well! How dare we not have no lines and more people on the floor than scheduled!) at peak hours.


----


This also happened a few days ago when I made another post, but I don't think I mentioned it.

We had this one Indian lady checking out the mattress protectors. She wasn't sure what they were like so she was opening all the packages and leaving them on the floor. Then she went to an associate with another package and was like, "I opened the other packages and they had (whatever it was), are they all going to be like this?" And of course she never picked them up from the floor or anything. She demanded however he look in the back to see if we had this one brand of mattress pad that showed up on the computer as having something like 6.... which at this point could've been sold that day, stolen at some point, or damaged and not out of the system. When we didn't have them she continued to ask him stuff and not let him leave for a while. Hooray.

JamesJBuffalkill
Sep 14, 2004
A Textbook for an SA Account. I'm Sold!

Part-Time Robot posted:

I was very proud of my manager today. She's usually a complete doormat, but she's been getting better....
She's still incredibly naive and usually lets the assistant manager handle the dirty work, but boss lady definitely got my kudos today.
Your manager was more scared of the home office than the customer, that's why she stood by the policy.

Take this from someone who at his last job used to be the pushover Assistant Manager that would undue everything his subordinate argued for. At least I told my employee afterwords that they did everything by the book and in their position I would have done the same thing. But management I have more leeway and there are times where a big sale is more important (several thousand dollars).

If, later, the customer would try to make a snide remark about the person who was handling him/her earlier I would call them out on it, reminding them that it's not the employees jobs to give out discounts to anyone that says they should go out of discount, and that I imagine s/he wouldn't expect her employees to do that either, yadda yadda.

Edit: We would make sure the customer knows it's a one-time deal and make a note in our system not to let them pull that poo poo again.

MaxDuo
Aug 13, 2010
Ugh. How wonderful. I live in the south, so snow shuts us down like an apocalypse. Supposedly we're supposed to get 8 inches of snow today. Many other malls are closing.

But of course mine is still opening! Hooray! I just can't wait to work until late at night when it's snowed for a few more hours and given us more freezing rain. And then deal w/ all the morons on the road.


The last time I drove home from work at night in the snow I had to pull ahead at 4 of 5 stop lights so I wouldn't get hit by morons who braked too late.

Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost

MaxDuo posted:

Ugh. How wonderful. I live in the south, so snow shuts us down like an apocalypse. Supposedly we're supposed to get 8 inches of snow today. Many other malls are closing.

But of course mine is still opening! Hooray! I just can't wait to work until late at night when it's snowed for a few more hours and given us more freezing rain. And then deal w/ all the morons on the road.


The last time I drove home from work at night in the snow I had to pull ahead at 4 of 5 stop lights so I wouldn't get hit by morons who braked too late.

It's days like these I'm happy that we've been too lazy to take off the snow tires on my fiancee's Saturn. I drove her to Uptown as she's a nurse and cannot miss work due to the weather, and I was passing the snow plow drivers who were doing 20 MPH on the freeway. Some of the trucks didn't even have their plows on the ground. What the hell, NCDOT?

devmd01
Mar 7, 2006

Elektronik
Supersonik
Judging from all the emails rolling in to our IT notification list about stores and delivery centers being closed, I guess the south got some snow or something the last couple of days? :v:

Duckman2008
Jan 6, 2010

TFW you see Flyers goaltending.
Grimey Drawer

MaxDuo posted:

Ugh. How wonderful. I live in the south, so snow shuts us down like an apocalypse. Supposedly we're supposed to get 8 inches of snow today. Many other malls are closing.

But of course mine is still opening! Hooray! I just can't wait to work until late at night when it's snowed for a few more hours and given us more freezing rain. And then deal w/ all the morons on the road.


The last time I drove home from work at night in the snow I had to pull ahead at 4 of 5 stop lights so I wouldn't get hit by morons who braked too late.

My mall always sends out memos to the stores on days before "snowstorms" reminding everyone that "remember, we rarely close due to weather." I show up this morning (1 inch in Nashville, roads mostly clear) to find out the mall is only open 12-6, and its pretty much a ghost town here. So drat irritating. The south is the worst when it comes to snow too, takes them forever to plow/salt roads, people panic and buy milk/bread at the store the day before, and now there are a million people on the road who have no idea how to drive in snow.

And yes, 1 inch of snow = schools and businesses being closed for a few days. Its lunacy.

Dodgeball
Sep 24, 2003

Oh no! Dodgeball is really scary!

devmd01 posted:

Judging from all the emails rolling in to our IT notification list about stores and delivery centers being closed, I guess the south got some snow or something the last couple of days? :v:

In Arlington, TX, we had snow (that didn't stick :(), for about 2 hours.

Texas drivers already can't drive, but toss slick roads into the equation and it's like everyone got blasted with a retard-beam. 10 minutes after it started snowing, I counted 2 ambulances and 2 fire trucks passing by my store. This is not hyperbole. It was ten minutes. And 2 of each emergency vehicle.

\/\/ You hiring? Because my tenure at my retail job runs out come this Sunday.

Dodgeball fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Jan 11, 2011

LonsomeSon
Nov 22, 2009

A fishperson in an intimidating hat!

Dodgeball posted:

In Arlington, TX, we had snow (that didn't stick :(), for about 2 hours.

Yeah, I was scheduled to drive from Fort Worth to Plano to meet with a client about his sale (I own a small auctioneering business), but he called to say that we probably shouldn't 'risk' driving across the metroplex.

We did anyway to see some friends, and I had to sooth one guy's fears about ice on the roads; he wanted to go to a little pizza/italian place because it was close, and there was 'less risk' than going to other places that were a quarter-mile further away.

Also, not quite retail, but people who contract with me for small auctions can get pretty cunty, to the point where it's common practice to tell the sellers not to even show up to watch the sale.

"All my Snap-On tools, going for $30 each!?!"
"Well, like we said, sir, auctions can be hit-or-miss; some things are going to go for less than they're worth, some for more." Also, you said you totally had advertising down for those, you were going to put out notices to small avionics shops and your buddies who hadn't retired yet and wanted more extremely specialized tools. You didn't, so nobody showed up who wanted those things. gently caress you. We sold your parents' broken ride-on mower for $500, its attachments for $150, and your mother's collection of tangled, cheap, mostly-fake jewelery that appraised as worth $250 for more than $2,000.

MaxDuo
Aug 13, 2010
Well the mall did decide to close early. At around 2:30PM it decided to close by 5. I asked what we were doing and was told the store manager was on the phone w/ the district manager asking if we could close by 5 (not just to avoid snow, but we would get almost NO customers if the entire mall was closed... not to mention we'd only done about $1200 in sales by then that day). The DM, being the usual rear end in a top hat that he is, didn't want us to close early. But said he'd call someone higher up and ask if we could.

Around 4:30 we were told we could close at 5, and have workers stay closing the store til 6PM.

So I go outside and in the 3.5 hours my car was outside it was completely covered in ice. So I drive home in the mixture of rain and sleet and in my short (10-15 min usually) drive I see 3 wrecks... One of which involved 6 cars on the interstate.


And right about where I saw the wreck at some guy going 20-30mph slower than me flung his car in front of me. I barely dodged the rear end in a top hat.

Since this is supposed to continue tomorrow.... I really really hope they just close the mall so I don't have to deal w/ this crap again. Or it could be even funner if the DM decides we don't need to close and we end up staying there until 10PM-11PM.

red19fire
May 26, 2010

MaxDuo posted:

:words:

Retail Thread 3: Post the dumbest managers and most obnoxious Indians u got!

:woop:

The owner of the store I used to work at, he owed something like $30k to a manufacturer, and they threatened to cut him off completely. So he decided instead to put the entire amount on his personal credit card, and used the bonus miles to take a 2 week vacation to France.

Sonic Dude
May 6, 2009

MaxDuo posted:

The DM, being the usual rear end in a top hat that he is, didn't want us to close early.
I don't get this. It doesn't take a genius to see that when the money flying out the door paying employees to be there exceeds the money coming in from sales, the store isn't just not making money, it's actively losing it. I'd think somewhere along the line most managers would have been yelled at one or more times for losing money, and their self-preservation instincts would kick in.

miscellaneous14
Mar 27, 2010

neat
Yeah, the snow around DFW completely cut off at least half of the few customers we would have gotten on Sunday. Goddammit, I wish it would snow more in Texas. :(

P.D.B. Fishsticks
Jun 19, 2010

Mr. Toad posted:

The downside to this? Today a customer decided to stop by our store for a quick browse on his way home from work (I assume). He was smartly dressed, sporting a nice suit. Another customer thought he worked for us, the following excruciating scene unfolded as follows.

I've had this happen to me as a customer; the grocery store I use is convenient to my drive home from work, which means I'm dressed for work (no suit, but shirt, tie, slacks, decent shoes) when I shop for groceries.

So one day, some lady comes up to me and starts bitching about one of the employees in the store and how I need to do something about it (unfortunately, it was several years ago, so I don't remember the exact conversation). It took me like a minute to get a word in edgewise to inform her that just because I'm wearing a tie at a grocery store doesn't mean I'm a manager.

Fortunately, her reaction was more mortified embarrassment rather than the belligerence of Mr. Toad's customer, and she fell silent and hurried away without another word.

I don't even think the managers at this store wear ties, and this is a reasonably professional suburb, so I'm certainly not the only customer in the store dressed like that on any given day. :shrug:

MaxDuo
Aug 13, 2010

Sonic Dude posted:

I don't get this. It doesn't take a genius to see that when the money flying out the door paying employees to be there exceeds the money coming in from sales, the store isn't just not making money, it's actively losing it. I'd think somewhere along the line most managers would have been yelled at one or more times for losing money, and their self-preservation instincts would kick in.

Honestly I think this guy just has a miserable life and wants others to suffer. Every manager under him hates him and think he's terrible. Any manager who has ever had another DM says that this guy is just completely awful compared to others and really makes it suck horribly to be w/ this company.

He's a small, short man who always seems unhappy. Apparently in his offices he has some pictures of his kids but none of his wife.. and someone else said from a few things they've heard they think his family life is pretty lovely. So I usually just think he has a crappy life and wants everyone else to suffer w/ him.

red19fire
May 26, 2010

Sonic Dude posted:

I don't get this. It doesn't take a genius to see that when the money flying out the door paying employees to be there exceeds the money coming in from sales, the store isn't just not making money, it's actively losing it. I'd think somewhere along the line most managers would have been yelled at one or more times for losing money, and their self-preservation instincts would kick in.

This happened to me too! The store owner wigged out on me because I counted the drawer and locked up at 4:45 instead of 5pm. The store had been empty almost all day, there was a total of $120 in sales between 3 employees (on a Saturday), and not a single customer set foot in the store after 1pm. Remember, advertising doesn't work! :eng99:

Obviously, the $3000 that would have justified keeping the store open all day would have come in during that 15 minutes :rolleyes:

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006

Football? Yaaaay
Welp.

I got called in for an 'emergency meeting' today, and it turns out our store is going to be closing :smith:. All of us are being offered transfers, but damnit, I like working at my store. I actually like all my coworkers and managers :(

miscellaneous14
Mar 27, 2010

neat
I actually flipped out today at work over something, which I was really hoping I'd never end up doing at this job. One of the new employees, who can only be described as the class clown of a loving special school, was just constantly being incompetent to a degree that cannot be comprehended, while I was still getting talked down to when 90% of the time I'm already doing what I'm about to be told. It got to a breaking point when I went to sweep a theater, and I see this goddamned idiot sweeping ice on the floor under one of the tables, to where I just lost it.

:mad:: "What you are doing?!"
:saddowns:: "ICE MELTS OKAY GET OUT OF MY FACE"
:mad:: "Just sweep it up!"

Naturally, in the middle of me flipping out, the general manager walks in and I feel like an idiot. I apologized to said manager later for the reaction, though I really loving hope they realize how hopeless this guy is and fire him.

I've worked at this place for 8 months and most of the time, I'm still treated like I'm the new guy. :smith:

spankmeister
Jun 15, 2008






8 months = new guy.

The General
Mar 4, 2007


spankmeister posted:

8 months = new guy.

In some cases, 4 years is still the new guy.

JamesJBuffalkill
Sep 14, 2004
A Textbook for an SA Account. I'm Sold!
With the turnover a movie theater has he's probably one of the longest tenured people there.

manguero
Jul 5, 2009
When I was at my retail job, a regular customer observed I'd been there a long time. "Not really, only about four months," I said. She responded, "That's a long time for this place!" I quit soon afterward.

Nosaj
Apr 30, 2009
Haters Gonna Hate

miscellaneous14 posted:

I actually flipped out today at work over something, which I was really hoping I'd never end up doing at this job. One of the new employees, who can only be described as the class clown of a loving special school, was just constantly being incompetent to a degree that cannot be comprehended, while I was still getting talked down to when 90% of the time I'm already doing what I'm about to be told. It got to a breaking point when I went to sweep a theater, and I see this goddamned idiot sweeping ice on the floor under one of the tables, to where I just lost it.

:mad:: "What you are doing?!"
:saddowns:: "ICE MELTS OKAY GET OUT OF MY FACE"
:mad:: "Just sweep it up!"

Naturally, in the middle of me flipping out, the general manager walks in and I feel like an idiot. I apologized to said manager later for the reaction, though I really loving hope they realize how hopeless this guy is and fire him.

I've worked at this place for 8 months and most of the time, I'm still treated like I'm the new guy. :smith:

The problem is youre caring far too much.
You're in your late teens early 20s and youre sweeping a movie theatre floor. That "new guy" had the right idea. Ice does melt and theatre floors are coated in much worse than water.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vbI-P6mFbg :15 seconds in.

miscellaneous14
Mar 27, 2010

neat

Nosaj posted:

The problem is youre caring far too much.
You're in your late teens early 20s and youre sweeping a movie theatre floor. That "new guy" had the right idea. Ice does melt and theatre floors are coated in much worse than water.

This isn't actually a standard theater, there are far less people on staff and in about a year or so, I'm pretty much guaranteed a server position (better pay, easier work), and this guy is pretty much guaranteed to get canned in the next month due to the small size of the venue. Also, we're a restaurant theater, so we have carpeted floors, hence me getting pissy about ice being left around.

JamesJBuffalkill posted:

With the turnover a movie theater has he's probably one of the longest tenured people there.

Out of most of the staff, I actually haven't been around that long. :v:

oldyogurt
Aug 14, 2004

Son of a--
Muldoon
What is up with the Northeast lately? Why is every store being bombarded with customers? The snow earlier this week I can understand but today it was incredibly busy at my store and at department stores. (BTW I am a pharm tech, I was posting earlier as Der Kaktusfreund)

Pornographic Memory
Dec 17, 2008

oldyogurt posted:

What is up with the Northeast lately? Why is every store being bombarded with customers? The snow earlier this week I can understand but today it was incredibly busy at my store and at department stores. (BTW I am a pharm tech, I was posting earlier as Der Kaktusfreund)

At least here in Pittsburgh...Steelers. It was like, Christmas level busy almost the last few days. Just because of football. Since it isn't an actual holiday though, no extra help :rolleyes:

Leal
Oct 2, 2009
Well today I went to a Target and while waiting to see if my brother could fit into a mens small (He's 9 but he wanted this one Mario tshirt so I went to see if it wouldn't be to ridiculous on him), I was hanging out outside the room and heard a lady arguing with one of the target people. I wasn't really paying attention till I hear the words "Try on underwear"

:byodame: Crazy lady
:geno: Me

:byodame:: HOW CAN I TELL IF THESE WILL FIT ME IF I CAN'T TRY ON UNDERWEAR?! THIS IS WHY I HATE TARGET!
:geno:: I'm sorry but I wouldn't ever buy underwear from a store that lets people try them on. You never know what they have down there, like crabs or something.
:byodame:: THIS ISN'T ANY OF YOUR loving BUSINESS!

And she just storms away. Who would ever think that's that a good idea? loving nasty.

ladyweapon
Nov 6, 2010

It reads all over his face,
like he's an Italian.

Leal posted:

Who would ever think that's that a good idea? loving nasty.

Its a really great way to steal underwear. I've heard stories from friends where they've found a dirty pair of underwear and underwear price tags all over the floor.

red19fire
May 26, 2010

miscellaneous14 posted:

This isn't actually a standard theater, there are far less people on staff and in about a year or so, I'm pretty much guaranteed a server position (better pay, easier work), and this guy is pretty much guaranteed to get canned in the next month due to the small size of the venue. Also, we're a restaurant theater, so we have carpeted floors, hence me getting pissy about ice being left around.


Out of most of the staff, I actually haven't been around that long. :v:

One of these theaters is near me, are they actually profitable? I went with MY GIRLFRIEND once, and it was nearly empty on a Saturday night. The food was overpriced, not that great, and it was insanely expensive overall. Even with some freebie coupons, it was still $80+. The reviews on google were horrendous as well.

Soysaucebeast
Mar 4, 2008




^^ Jesus Christ! I went to a 3D showing of Tron a few weeks ago, and for my friend and I, plus concessions, it was about 25-30$. Total. ^^

Leal posted:

Well today I went to a Target and while waiting to see if my brother could fit into a mens small (He's 9 but he wanted this one Mario tshirt so I went to see if it wouldn't be to ridiculous on him), I was hanging out outside the room and heard a lady arguing with one of the target people. I wasn't really paying attention till I hear the words "Try on underwear"

:byodame: Crazy lady
:geno: Me

:byodame:: HOW CAN I TELL IF THESE WILL FIT ME IF I CAN'T TRY ON UNDERWEAR?! THIS IS WHY I HATE TARGET!
:geno:: I'm sorry but I wouldn't ever buy underwear from a store that lets people try them on. You never know what they have down there, like crabs or something.
:byodame:: THIS ISN'T ANY OF YOUR loving BUSINESS!

And she just storms away. Who would ever think that's that a good idea? loving nasty.
Hey, I just had a similar story! I was checking a woman out earlier today and she was buying a pack of underwear. Then asked me what the return policy was. I told her I wasn't sure, but I was fairly certain they had to be in an unopened package, because goddamn. She then got pissy that she wouldn't know if they were the right size until she tried them on and I was just being a dick and blahblahblah.

Seriously though, who would want to buy used panties. Ew.

miscellaneous14
Mar 27, 2010

neat

red19fire posted:

One of these theaters is near me, are they actually profitable? I went with MY GIRLFRIEND once, and it was nearly empty on a Saturday night. The food was overpriced, not that great, and it was insanely expensive overall. Even with some freebie coupons, it was still $80+. The reviews on google were horrendous as well.

Soy Sauce Beast posted:

^^ Jesus Christ! I went to a 3D showing of Tron a few weeks ago, and for my friend and I, plus concessions, it was about 25-30$. Total. ^^

Whoa poo poo, where'd you go that had prices like that? I can't exactly say the food is cheap without my employee discount, but you'd have to order a shitload to end up with more than 50$ or so for two people, and that's if it were a 3-D showing. It's about the price of what you'd get at a Chili's or some such restaurant, plus the price of tickets.

AMC has actually started incorporating the idea due to the popularity of restaurant theaters around Texas and other miscellaneous states. Was it an AMC that you went to? Because I wouldn't be surprised if it was that expensive.

In any case, my sister was talking to my parents earlier tonight about her friend having issues at the restaurant she worked at, and hearing it made me really glad I work at a place where I have little customer interaction and the managers aren't exactly pushovers. It was a standard "customer bitches about jack poo poo, manager comps them for a 60$ meal, blames it on the server who didn't do anything wrong" story. What's even worse, the girl even got in trouble for saying about how bad one of the meals was (to the point where people sent it back most of the time) in front of the chef, who went to a manager to complain about it. What kind of rear end in a top hat cook do you have to be to blame others for doing a lovely job instead of, y'know, trying to be a better cook?

Death Bear
Apr 1, 2010
Today was the first time, in all eight years our store has been open, that we've had to call the cops on a customer.

Backstory: This guy has been in several times, always looking for obscure books that we never have and he gets highly upset that we don't. For example, he read The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks last year and asked us if we knew the sources the author used; when we told him we didn't, he'd have to go to the publisher, he flew into an outrage about how he couldn't find anything about this story and that the government was out to get him. He would not stop talking to us for at least half an hour about the injustice that all books are stupid and how the college is one big zoo because he parked there without a permit and they had the audacity to give him a parking ticket. This should give you a good idea of what we've had to go through quite a bit lately.

I just sent an email to a coworker who's on vacation so she could get the story, so I'll copy and paste.

So yes, we ended up calling the police on our lovely friend today. I special ordered a book for him back on Monday the 10th -- it was something we didn't have in stock (who didn't see that coming?) and he wasn't pleased, but gave me the okay to SPO [our term for special ordering] it for him. We couldn't find any information about this book and he wasn't pleased that we didn't have it in the store. "WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE OBLIGATED TO BUY THIS IF IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT. WHAT IF I OPEN IT UP AND IT HAS 'MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB' WRITTEN INSIDE OF IT? I swear you can't find books with knowledge in it anymore, you have to go to the internet or CHINA to get what you want!" I got subjected to his rant and basically told him "I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. You can either order it from us or get it online." He wouldn't give me his phone number when I took his SPO, his reasoning was something like "rargh, I don't want people calling me and having my number! I don't have a house phone but I have a cell phone blah blah blah." Assistant Manager tried to give him our number and suggested he call instead of coming in every single day to check on his book, but he didn't want to do that. Every day he came in, getting more and more irate that his book hadn't magically appeared in our order. Manager tried to order it and it hadn't shipped, so she tried to explain to him that she was still trying. He wanted a total guarantee that the book would be in, but it was only in stock in the Tennessee warehouse and we had no clue when it would be here.

This morning (Saturday) Assistant Manager told me that he came in again yesterday looking for his book. He got very upset with Manager when she told him yet again that it didn't ship. He demanded to speak with the owner, so she gave him Owner's number, he ranted some more, and finally left. Assistant Manager told me that he was allowed in one more time to pick up his book, and then that was it. If he was to come in again after that, we were calling the police. I'm glad I remembered his face, because as soon as I saw him come in the door I banged on the bell for Manager. He wanted to know where his book was and she told him that it wasn't shipping, she couldn't guarantee it would be in at all but she would keep trying. This wasn't good enough for him at all. He wanted a definite guarantee that his book would be in, but Manager kept telling him she would not promise anything. Our friend brings out the "WELL, I CALLED OWNER AND HE TOLD ME" spiel. I can't remember the exact details, but I remember him getting very belligerent with Manager over the size of her order. He expected her to do an order just for him and his stupid book, so when she told him she had to gather a certain number of items together to send for an order, he starts yelling "THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS TOLD! OWNER SAID YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT!" (Caps lock is truly necessary for this man's speech, he yelled the whole time.) She ended up asking him if he wanted to place a deposit on the book, and he yelled "deposit nothing! I'm a paying customer!" and paid for his book in full.

I ran to the back to tell Assistant Manager that he was here yelling at Manager and it was getting to the point where other customers were telling him to back off and calm down. She called the police. I went back up front where the same customer was telling him "sir, calm down, this isn't necessary." He insisted Manager was being nasty and rude to him -- that's hilarious, I don't think Manager even has the capability to be rude. The other customer told him that she was being perfectly polite and reasonable, but he wouldn't hear it. He ended up storming off to Starbucks and several customers came up to ask Manager if she was okay. She got the woman's name and phone number in case they needed her as a witness, and several other customers started offering to be witnesses too.

A few minutes later I heard the siren and two police cars pulled into the parking lot. There were at least three state troopers there -- two came in to interview Manager and I, the third was standing outside with Our Pal probably making sure he didn't choke on his own tongue out of anger or something. They interviewed her, took our information, ended up calling Owner to get his story, and then went to interview the Hero out in front of Starbucks. I went to the window to see what was going on and he was having a fit, yelling so loudly we could hear him inside and pointing in the window. After they got everyone interviewed and took everyone's information, one of the state troopers came back in and was very visibly frustrated with his lunatic rants. She said, "Just give him a refund. He can get the book online. Do you not want to allow him back in the store?" Manager waffled on it a bit, but we eventually decided he is permanently banned from the store. If he comes in, we call the police immediately. He got his refund and I was hoping to see them drive off with him in the back of the police car, but sadly he is still wandering free, probably thinking we're in cahoots with the government out to ruin his life

I hate knowing that whackjob is still out there roaming the streets but at least he's banned from our store. I wonder how many places he's been banned from already with that attitude.

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ChirpChirpCheep
Apr 22, 2008
Our espresso machine broke today, rendering us unable to make pretty much every drink on the menu. We put up multiple signs- including one on the register itself and one on the main door to the store- but roughly every other customer tried to order something we couldn't make despite the fact that they had to pass by at least three signs in order to get to the register and were currently standing in front of a sign itself. What really blew my mind were the amount of people who would try to order an espresso based drink, receive an explanation as to why we couldn't do that and what drinks we could do, look at the menu, and ask for another espresso based drink. That and the people who were all "I want a latte/mocha" and when I explained to them that we couldn't do espresso based drinks went "Oh, I didn't know that had espresso in it!" This is 2011- even Dunkin Donuts has espresso machines- how do you not know what goes into a goddamn latte?

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