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THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls

Captain Charisma posted:

Mark Sanchez's homeland is Mexico as much as my homeland is France

So you're a SOCIALIST? :stare:

I am kind of torn. It sucks the dumb girl's life is gonna be ruined because she's a stupid kid even if she did it to herself, but at the same time, why's it 'news' in the TMZ/gossipy sense when a another star athlete gets a new girl, but this shouldn't be? I personally don't care about that poo poo normally, but the bar is already set.

The Deadspin vs Jets thing on the headline is so loving retarded. I don't get why the company is inserting itself in there.

also, it was a pre-SB rerun, but Peter King was on Real Sports for a profile. He is such a dork. They touched on how much he is read, and how much people hate him at the same time. They also had him reading stuff on twitter, and he read in the most dorky voice possible some guy's tweet about how he's smoking a blunt and reading the MMQB. He gave the tackiest old white man response too, ending with dude or something.

The rest of the show was interesting though. They profiled NFLers who pissed away millions, and then had a story about the rise of the 300lbs+ linemen. I didn't know Norman Hand died :smith:

THE MACHO MAN fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Feb 10, 2011

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The Goog
Aug 6, 2007

It's a Goog Day, yes it is!
Very Fake Bleacher Report (http://twitter.com/veryfakeBR) solicited articles from its followers, so I sent one in...

http://fakebleacherreport.tumblr.com/post/3218889183/slidshow-25-reasons-why-you-should-let-me-write-for

I feel it's representative of what an actual submission letter to Bleacher Report would look like.

ryborg
Apr 15, 2007

I, myself, am not particularly athletic, so I fuel my competitive juices by watching my friends compete. The bar I frequent sponsors several teams and I especially enjoy watching the Ladies compete on Tuesday nights. It's an awesome sight watching a well-endowed woman rounding the bases...

The Goog posted:

I feel it's representative of what an actual submission letter to Bleacher Report would look like.

This one's pretty good too

http://fakebleacherreport.tumblr.com/post/3228507964/mlb-offseason-awards

nasboat
Sep 9, 2004

How similar are Kevin Durant and my son?

seriously, who the gently caress greenlit this column idea in the first place?

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming

nasboat posted:

How similar are Kevin Durant and my son?

seriously, who the gently caress greenlit this column idea in the first place?

The real shame is that everywhere else I've seen pieces on Durant, he genuinely does come off as likable, hard-working and funny. ESPN got him this sit-down and he wasted it entirely on a stupid gimmick that tells you nothing and isn't particularly interesting.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

God it must be great to be Rick Reilly. poo poo out a column roughly half the length of anything any other ESPN writer comes up with once a week, act smug on camera once in a while, make five million dollars a year.

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?

The dude who wrote this loving owns

ryborg
Apr 15, 2007

I, myself, am not particularly athletic, so I fuel my competitive juices by watching my friends compete. The bar I frequent sponsors several teams and I especially enjoy watching the Ladies compete on Tuesday nights. It's an awesome sight watching a well-endowed woman rounding the bases...
Hey let's combine everything terrible that's been mentioned on this page in one column

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/348986-rick-reilly-should-apologize-to-me

MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER

Groucho Marxist posted:

The dude who wrote this loving owns

I wonder if we'll ever meet this mysterious man :allears:

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

ryborg posted:

Hey let's combine everything terrible that's been mentioned on this page in one column

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/348986-rick-reilly-should-apologize-to-me

holy hell how bad do you have to be to unsuccessfully critique/troll reilly? that fruit's so low-hanging it's a tuber.

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls

ryborg posted:

Hey let's combine everything terrible that's been mentioned on this page in one column

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/348986-rick-reilly-should-apologize-to-me

hahhaha wow

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?
Someone decides to dig into the Favre on Dancing With the Stars rumors and see how they started. It's pretty funny to see how pathetic the sports media is.

http://www.quickish.com/articles/brett-favre-on-dancing-with-the-stars-no-not-even-a-rumor

Dick Williams
Aug 25, 2005
The Chris Henry thing is still the greatest troll in the history of the sports media just because it exposed how loving retarded and lazy beat writers are jokes on us nothing changed and they're even lazier

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

Hey look at this steaming pile of poo poo http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/1102/alex.rodriguez.worst.moments/content.1.html


vvv I'm open to that possibility

stuart scott fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Feb 14, 2011

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

i'm undecided, that may in fact be so lazy and stupid that it owns

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

For now I'm liking it just because there's the possibility that he hears about the article and blows the gently caress up like a giant baby just like he did when the cameras at the Super Bowl caught Cameron Diaz feeding him popcorn.

Bob Shabazz
Oct 21, 2008

At 12:17 a.m. MU police spotted Mauk, 19, run a stop sign while driving his scooter east on Kentucky Boulevard - with two female passengers on board.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

i'm undecided, that may in fact be so lazy and stupid that it owns

This owns because there's like 4 instances of "lol A-Rod is dating someone, how EMBARRASSING!"

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

i'm undecided, that may in fact be so lazy and stupid that it owns

It owns because that is a Bleacher Report slideshow

gardenald
Jul 23, 2007

In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

Groucho Marxist posted:

It owns because that is a Bleacher Report slideshow

This picture almost makes the whole stupid thing worth it

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

gardenald posted:

This picture almost makes the whole stupid thing worth it



That's not even the best ARod centaur picture :colbert:


Also, haven't there been numerous stories posted about how ARod has man-boobs or something and how his nickname in the Rangers' clubhouse was something to that effect? In light of that I do not think any of these centaur pictures are realistic.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

There was a thing about how his nickname was "bitch-tits" but given how ripped he is it's like lol your pecs are massive rather than the traditional fatty manboobs.

Also how is the pop-up an embarrassing moment for A-Rod, did they intend to put that in an "A-Rod's most ownage moments" slideshow?

Deathlove
Feb 20, 2003

Pillbug

Tender Bender posted:

There was a thing about how his nickname was "bitch-tits" but given how ripped he is it's like lol your pecs are massive rather than the traditional fatty manboobs.

Also how is the pop-up an embarrassing moment for A-Rod, did they intend to put that in an "A-Rod's most ownage moments" slideshow?

Bitch tits are also a side effect of steroid usage, which is where I'd heard the term before I got fat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynecomastia#Classification - Pure Glandular.

The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.

Tender Bender posted:

Also how is the pop-up an embarrassing moment for A-Rod, did they intend to put that in an "A-Rod's most ownage moments" slideshow?

A-Rod really doesn't get enough credit for how awesome of a troll he is. He literally stepped on a mound one time and the pitcher lost his poo poo.

Where's that shooing away gif?

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls

The broken bones posted:

A-Rod really doesn't get enough credit for how awesome of a troll he is. He literally stepped on a mound one time and the pitcher lost his poo poo.

Where's that shooing away gif?

Yeah, that was really only embarrassing for the whiny pitcher

the centaur thing is so, so hilarious though

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

The broken bones posted:

A-Rod really doesn't get enough credit for how awesome of a troll he is. He literally stepped on a mound one time and the pitcher lost his poo poo.

Where's that shooing away gif?

Getting rich, loving Madonna, under a portrait of yourself as a half-man half-horse mythical beast. :golfclap:

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.
loving Kate Hudson: totally embarrassing!

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
really the only thing there is probably doing steroids and the slap, with maybe a slight argument for the popup thing

grand scheme of things, arod still owns

Mandoira
Jul 27, 2003

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
I wish Cameron Diaz would feed me popcorn. Or I'd get to gently caress Kate Hudson. Or I'd get to make $600+M via baseball.

A-Rod owns. The glove-slap + 2007 world series free agency announcement + steroids were kind of embarrassing but still.

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

leokitty posted:

loving Kate Hudson: totally embarrassing!

Sportsdome should do a recurring sketch where A-Rod does completely awesome things and gets "caught" and he's all embarrassed and everyone laughs at him.

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?
Deadspin got a hold of the Cowherd sitcom pilot script. Dear lord is it bad

http://deadspin.com/5759988

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

I cannot and will not read that

ryborg
Apr 15, 2007

I, myself, am not particularly athletic, so I fuel my competitive juices by watching my friends compete. The bar I frequent sponsors several teams and I especially enjoy watching the Ladies compete on Tuesday nights. It's an awesome sight watching a well-endowed woman rounding the bases...
come on guys this is gold

NICK: Is she kidding with that t-shirt? "Keeping it Real?" There's nothing real in that shirt!

(laugh track)

MEGAN: Nick, it's time to move on. She's had the new boobs for a year.

NICK: I swear, I think they're still expanding.

(laugh track)

MEGAN: You would know. The way you were staring at them.

(raucous applause, audience goes nuts)

toadee
Aug 16, 2003

North American Turtle Boy Love Association

It's like retarded Inception, where I'm laughing at someone thinking that someone would laugh at that.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

If they cast Brad Garrett as a foil to Cowherd I could see it working.

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.
That post highlights how terrible their new article layouts are.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

leokitty posted:

That post highlights how terrible their new article layouts are.

I came in here to say this.

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming

leokitty posted:

That post highlights how terrible their new article layouts are.

You'd think they would have noticed this would be an issue when they were building it, considering their ads end up breaking articles half of the time anyway.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






ryborg posted:

come on guys this is gold

NICK: Is she kidding with that t-shirt? "Keeping it Real?" There's nothing real in that shirt!

(laugh track)

MEGAN: Nick, it's time to move on. She's had the new boobs for a year.

NICK: I swear, I think they're still expanding.

(laugh track)

MEGAN: You would know. The way you were staring at them.

(raucous applause, audience goes nuts)

I'm thoroughly convinced I could sell a script for a TV show, provided I hit myself over the head with a piece of rebar for about six hours.

Hand Knit
Oct 24, 2005

Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..
The pop-up deserves inclusion because it ended with him doing the "hold me back" routine against Gemstone Josh Towers.

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Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/telander/3807409-452/telander-brain-against-the-machines.html

Click the link to read a fascinating Rick Telander article that starts by talking about boxing and ends with a conflict between mankind and robots.

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