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ryborg
Apr 15, 2007

I, myself, am not particularly athletic, so I fuel my competitive juices by watching my friends compete. The bar I frequent sponsors several teams and I especially enjoy watching the Ladies compete on Tuesday nights. It's an awesome sight watching a well-endowed woman rounding the bases...

ZerodotJander posted:

Is there anywhere I can watch those 30 for 30 documentaries? I never heard about them until recently and a lot of them seem really really cool.

They also air them at random times overnight on ESPN, U and 2. That's how I caught up on the ones I missed.

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ZerodotJander
Dec 29, 2004

Chinaman, explain!
The first 15 are $40 on Amazon right now, so I picked it up. Thanks!

ForbiddenWonder
Feb 15, 2003

http://www.fanhouse.com/2011/02/18/boy-who-refused-to-wrestle-a-girl-might-end-up-wrestling-history/

Holy poo poo this is one of the worst articles i've ever read. A 15 year old not wanting to wrestle a girl due to religious beliefs is apparently comparable to a grown man being a racist.

LARGE THE HEAD
Sep 1, 2009

"Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden
Deadspin fixed their site to include a scroll bar for the article headlines. Thank Christ. Site becomes 100% more readable.

unhwillneverwin
Oct 16, 2010

Smashing through the boundaries
Lunacy has found me
Cannot stop the battery!

LARGE THE HEAD posted:

Deadspin fixed their site to include a scroll bar for the article headlines. Thank Christ. Site becomes 100% more readable.

And Tommy Craggs is still around to destroy Peter King in a thoroughly enjoyable written beating. Sometimes it may seem like we all pile on Peter King. But as long as he complains about coffee and other trivial poo poo while being a lapdog for the NFL and its owners, I say he is fair game.

http://deadspin.com/#!5763588/one-thing-i-think-i-think-peter-king-is-the-latest-in-a-long-line-of-management-stooges

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
Yeah like what the hell is Craggs doing still writing for that site? Dude owns.

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls

Badfinger posted:

I don't know if people consider it "good" writing or not, but I really enjoyed the top article there "I was Teenage Hockey Message Board Jailbait". Here's hoping it turns out well for her.

Was this worth the time?? I remember starting it but stopping because I knew I didn't have the time to finish it on my lunch.

ForbiddenWonder posted:

http://www.fanhouse.com/2011/02/18/boy-who-refused-to-wrestle-a-girl-might-end-up-wrestling-history/

Holy poo poo this is one of the worst articles i've ever read. A 15 year old not wanting to wrestle a girl due to religious beliefs is apparently comparable to a grown man being a racist.

His religious beliefs were that he'd look like an idiot if he lost and that it would be viewed as a freebie if he won. It's a trained competitor who qualified for states, not a random girl of the street. Piledrive her skull into pieces like you would for anyone else.

It's a bit of a stretch to compare it in the way they did for that article though

Okposolypse
Jan 1, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

THE MACHO MAN posted:

His religious beliefs were that he'd look like an idiot if he lost and that it would be viewed as a freebie if he won. It's a trained competitor who qualified for states, not a random girl of the street. Piledrive her skull into pieces like you would for anyone else.

It's a bit of a stretch to compare it in the way they did for that article though

Even if his reasons are BS, the comparison is pretty terrible and I'm not going to get on a 15 year for not wanting to wrestle a girl. She may be just as good or better, her skill is irrelevant. I've also never wrestled so I could just be entirely wrong in saying that could be awkward for reasons that I don't feel are sexist.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

THE MACHO MAN posted:

Was this worth the time?? I remember starting it but stopping because I knew I didn't have the time to finish it on my lunch.

I enjoyed it, so I guess it was worth my time? Not sure what other qualifier you're looking for. :confused:

LARGE THE HEAD
Sep 1, 2009

"Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden

unhwillneverwin posted:

And Tommy Craggs is still around to destroy Peter King in a thoroughly enjoyable written beating. Sometimes it may seem like we all pile on Peter King. But as long as he complains about coffee and other trivial poo poo while being a lapdog for the NFL and its owners, I say he is fair game.

http://deadspin.com/#!5763588/one-thing-i-think-i-think-peter-king-is-the-latest-in-a-long-line-of-management-stooges

That article owned; nice find. I still thought that Goodell piece was pretty good though.

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.
Rick Reilly is now doing Simmons' mailbag thing, which is basically exactly like Simmons except with a lot more rear end in a top hat in it

link

quote:

You wrote:

David Diakoff (Los Angeles) | davediakoff@gmail.com

I think it's a good trend that the best players are concentrated on about 6-8 teams.. ... It makes the later rounds of the playoffs as good as they can be, which in my opinion is the most important thing for the fans and the league.

Your opinion is dopey. You're willing to ruin the balance of the league just so the "later rounds of the playoffs" are exciting? Did you take ANY economics classes in college?
You wrote:

Ignatius Fogarty (New York) | i_fogarty@hotmail.com

you should try going to a soccer game! In the U.K. (where I am from) rival fans are segregated, are not allowed to sit near each other. A ring of stewards and/or police will make sure that the fans don't get near each other. If you are found supporting the other team in the home team section you will get thrown out! I have been to a fair few NFL games since living in the U.S. and the experience is 100% way more family friendly than a soccer match.

And yet another terrific reason to ignore soccer.

Feels Villeneuve fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Feb 26, 2011

ForbiddenWonder
Feb 15, 2003

that's pretty funny, I can only imagine him replying to all those awful emails after a three martini lunch

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


I was looking at Lyttle Lytton Contest, a version of the Bulwer-Lytton contest in which the goal is to write the worst-written sentence beginning a novel in 33 words or less, when I saw that someone nominated this [url=http://adamcadre.ac/10lyttle.html]Rick Reilly gem in their "found" category:

quote:

Some things are so small, so miniscule, so atomically insignificant, they can be seen only from three feet away using the Hubble telescope.
anonymous, quoting Rick Reilly, ESPN the Magazine, 2009.0629

This is a tour de force! Maybe not quite as abominable as the Straczynski sentence in '08, but it's in the same ballpark. The most obvious malfunction here is that Reilly seems completely unaware of the distinction between a microscope and a telescope. (Hint: which one looks at small things? ...No? Okay, hint: the Hubble Space Telescope looks at galaxies and nebulae and things. Are those small?) He also misspells "minuscule." But what makes this a winner is that it'd be hard to find a better example of a certain formulaic type of sportswriting, the type that relies on ostensibly humorous comparisons featuring references ripped from the headlines, by which I mean the headlines sitting at the bottom of your recycling bin. "Their playoff chances are as dead as Michael Jackson with a case of swine flu!" "He makes enough in endorsements that Bill Gates hits him up for walking-around money! You couldn't fit his wallet into Twitter!" Etc.

Now, you might well object that this may be bad, but it doesn't exactly sound like the beginning of a story. That's because you haven't seen the follow-up sentence, which brought the entry to just over the limit at 33 words. So while officially only the first sentence gets the award, let's enjoy the entry in its entirety now:

Some things are so small, so miniscule, so atomically insignificant, they can be seen only from three feet away using the Hubble telescope. The heart of Jean Musgjerd is one of these things.

So as you can see, it's really a character study. This actually saw print.

The reveal of the whole Reilly passage kills me every time.

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

ESPN's Howard Bryant got arrested for domestic assault

http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2011/02/howard_bryant_writer_for_espn.html

quote:

BUCKLAND – A senior writer for ESPN and the author of three books was arrested in front of Buckland Pizza and charged with assaulting his estranged wife and hitting a police officer who tried to subdue him, state police said.

Howard Bryant, 42, of Hawley Road in Ashfield, was arrested at about 12:15 p.m. Saturday and charged with domestic assault and battery, assault and battery on a police officer and resisting arrest, said state Trooper T.J. Tudryn of the Shelburne Falls barracks.

When reached at his home Sunday, Bryant said he wanted to withhold comment until after his arraignment Monday in Greenfield District Court. He referred questions to his agent, who also declined comment.

Five witnesses gave statements saying they saw a man arguing with a woman, police said. They said he choked her and pushed her into a car, Tudryn said.

When police arrived, he argued with them and struck Trooper Brian Doak in the chest with his elbow, Tudryn said. Doak was not injured.

“He pulled away from the police officers when they were trying to handcuff him,” Tudryn said. “He was uncooperative and resistant.”

It took Doak, state police Sgt. Richard Cardan, Buckland officer Paul Herbert and Shelburne officer Clinton Phillips at least three minutes to subdue him, Tudryn said.

Tudryn said Bryant is separated from his wife, who declined to speak to police about the incident.

Bryant was released on $5,000 bail on Saturday.

Bryant, a Boston native, was hired by ESPN in 2007 and is a senior writer for ESPN.com and ESPN the Magazine, according to his biography on the ESPN website. Prior to that he worked at The Washington Post for two years and has also worked at other newspapers.

He has written three books, “Shut Out: A Story of Race and Baseball in Boston,” “Juicing the Game: Drugs, Power and the Fight for the Soul of Major League Baseball” and “The Last Hero: A Life of Henry Aaron.” He also contributed to five other books.

Officials for ESPN said it was too soon to comment on the arrest. “We are gathering information about it,” spokesman Josh Krulewitz said.

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

ESPN's article has his account

quote:

"I am so sad today," Bryant said. "I am sad today because this attack on me by the Massachusetts State Police and the Buckland Police has made it necessary for me to defend untrue allegations and repair my reputation when one conversation with either Veronique or with me would have diffused the entire situation. Instead, the police chose aggression first over dialogue, threatened to taser me whenever I tried to speak, and all in front of my 6-year-old son.

"As a result, I have to defend a charge that I attacked both the woman I love and the police when nothing could be further from the truth."

"This is all so unfair," Veronique Bryant said. "There was no investigation. The police made assumptions about my husband that weren't true. I was never abused or in fear of Howard on that day or any other day. I wasn't running from him or trying to get away from him. The police weren't listening to me and they attacked him with violence with our 6-year-old watching."

"I believe that witnesses saw things through the lens of race and if it were a caucasian male they wouldn't have blinked at what they saw," said Bryant's lawyer, Buz Eisenberg.

Bryant lives in Ashfield, which is about six miles south of Buckland.

"We are gathering information about it," said ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz.

Bryant joined ESPN in 2007 after a newspaper career that included stops at the Washington Post, Boston Herald, Bergen Record, San Jose Mercury News and Oakland Tribune. He has written three books, the most recent being "The Last Hero" about Hank Aaron. He also wrote "Juicing the Game: Drugs, Power and the Fight for the Soul of Major League Baseball" and "Shut Out: A Story of Race and Baseball in Boston."

Ace Jameson
Feb 10, 2006
I know this article is from a Yahoo! contributor, but it's really a work of art. There are people who really think like this.

quote:

How about Mike Cameron? Do you think he can hit more than four home runs? Mike is completely healthy, and will play in more than 48 games. Add 20 home runs to last years total, and don't forget about his glove in center field.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
this is actually worse though

quote:

Do you think Josh Beckett(notes) is a six game winner or a 20 game winner? After an injury filled 2010 year, Josh has proclaimed himself healthy, and rearing to go. I think you can add 10 more wins to the 2010 total.

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.
This is really bad but all I can see when I read that statement from Brayant is

:qq: "I am so sad today," Bryant said. :qq:

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

leokitty posted:

This is really bad but all I can see when I read that statement from Brayant is

:qq: "I am so sad today," Bryant said. :qq:

I have this conflicting gently caress the Po-Lice/Mass is a racist state thing going on that is in direct opposition to my gently caress Sportswriting/ESPN is the Worst thing. So much conflict.

toadee
Aug 16, 2003

North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Yeah I could easily see this being a crazy Masshole cop case just as much as a crazy ESPN dude case, I think we need more details.

Smorgasbord
Jun 18, 2004

Our review identified changes needed to be made and, in Stephen, we have a coach who has a reputation for demanding the highest standards.

toadee posted:

Yeah I could easily see this being a crazy Masshole cop case just as much as a crazy ESPN dude case, I think we need more details.

I thought that in most U.S jurisdictions once there is a report of domestic violence the arrest has to be made and they'll sort it out down at the station? You don't help anybody by flailing your elbows around and resisting arrest since it has to be done. Based on the info in those 2 articles I would tend to side with the independent witnesses though.

Smorgasbord fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Feb 28, 2011

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

I have this conflicting gently caress the Po-Lice/Mass is a racist state thing going on that is in direct opposition to my gently caress Sportswriting/ESPN is the Worst thing. So much conflict.

Yeah that's why I felt really bad for reading it that way. Fully aware of Mass cops. :|

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Smorgasbord posted:

Based on the info in those 2 articles I would tend to side with the independent witnesses though.

I don't really want to disparage my Fellow Citizens of the Common Wealth of Massachusetts but I'm interested in what their races and ethnicities are before I go ahead and side with them.

Smorgasbord
Jun 18, 2004

Our review identified changes needed to be made and, in Stephen, we have a coach who has a reputation for demanding the highest standards.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

I don't really want to disparage my Fellow Citizens of the Common Wealth of Massachusetts but I'm interested in what their races and ethnicities are before I go ahead and side with them.

So if they happen to be white then that must mean they made the whole thing up because they are obviously racist?

toadee
Aug 16, 2003

North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Smorgasbord posted:

I thought that in most U.S jurisdictions once there is a report of domestic violence the arrest has to be made and they'll sort it out down at the station? You don't help anybody by flailing your elbows around and resisting arrest since it has to be done. Based on the info in those 2 articles I would tend to side with the independent witnesses though.

Seriously, one time I got pulled over for having an inspection sticker 3 days expired and the conversation literally started with a city cop screaming 'ARE YOU loving INSANE YOUR UNSAFE PIECE OF poo poo COULD KILL SOMEONE GET THE gently caress OUT OF THE CAR'. That's not really an uncommon sort of exchange around here (although State Troopers are usually a little bit more tactful), so honestly the details need to be a bit more solid before I pass any judgments.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Smorgasbord posted:

So if they happen to be white then that must mean they made the whole thing up because they are obviously racist?

yep that's what i said you big retard

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

Smorgasbord posted:

So if they happen to be white then that must mean they made the whole thing up because they are obviously racist?

hahaha


edit: like others have said I feel like this one could go either way

stuart scott fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Mar 1, 2011

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.

toadee posted:

Seriously, one time I got pulled over for having an inspection sticker 3 days expired and the conversation literally started with a city cop screaming 'ARE YOU loving INSANE YOUR UNSAFE PIECE OF poo poo COULD KILL SOMEONE GET THE gently caress OUT OF THE CAR'. That's not really an uncommon sort of exchange around here (although State Troopers are usually a little bit more tactful), so honestly the details need to be a bit more solid before I pass any judgments.

What the gently caress? :psypop:

gardenald
Jul 23, 2007

In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

leokitty posted:

What the gently caress? :psypop:

Massachusetts cops. I was working pizza delivery a few years back and a local cop followed me for two miles from the pizza place to the apartment complex I was delivering to, blues and twos come on, first words out of his mouth are "so how much ya had to smoke tonight."

Also this just recently happened in my hometown: http://www.eagletribune.com/local/x1221300892/Report-Salisbury-police-chief-gave-cash-for-sex

toadee
Aug 16, 2003

North American Turtle Boy Love Association

leokitty posted:

What the gently caress? :psypop:

Yeah it was really cute, that guy looked seriously unglued too, like I was scared for my life for a minute.

Another time they impounded my car for being abandoned when it was parked outside of my apartment on the street (it was driven to work daily). When I got to it at the city impound they had rifled through all the poo poo in my glovebox, left it strewn around the inside of the car, stolen all the spare quarters I had for the pike, and to top it off, they stole my loving t-top's. I swear there's like HBO TV series levels of corruption, nepotism and unaccountability in nearly all facets of local government around here.

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you
jeffpearlman: I believe in Howard Bryant 100%—a good friend and good person.

Case closed, nothing to see here.

LARGE THE HEAD
Sep 1, 2009

"Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden
So, who has read ESPN's Fiction Issue? What do you all think about it?

I can't be too hard on a company that bills itself as Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, but it's pretty fascinating stuff so far. Miguel Batista's short-fiction piece was a clever story and an interesting read.

The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.

LARGE THE HEAD posted:

So, who has read ESPN's Fiction Issue? What do you all think about it?

I can't be too hard on a company that bills itself as Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, but it's pretty fascinating stuff so far. Miguel Batista's short-fiction piece was a clever story and an interesting read.

What, really? They did this?

SporkOfTruth
Sep 1, 2006

this kid walked up to me and was like man schmitty your stache is ghetto and I was like whatever man your 3b look like a dishrag.

he was like damn.

The broken bones posted:

What, really? They did this?

It's sitting on my nightstand right now, so yes, really.

LARGE THE HEAD
Sep 1, 2009

"Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden
:flashfact: GOOD JOURNALISM TIME! :flashfact:

"Heaven Help Marge Schott", by Rick Reilly (Sports Illustrated, May 20, 1996). Don't know how many people really knew about her beyond the "million dollar niggers" line, so here you go. Also features the best last three sentences of a feature story I've seen in quite some time.

"The Rabbit Hunter", by Frank DeFord (SI, January 26, 1981). DeFord on Bobby Knight, then at his prime at Indiana. I love DeFord's writing so, so much. Wear your tie, Bobby.

"My Roger Ebert Story", by Will Leitch (Deadspin, May 1, 2010). Holy loving poo poo, this story's a year old! And it's not really about sports. Still owns, though.

"Blazers Top 40: No. 30, Billy Ray Bates", by Jason Quick (The Oregonian, December 24, 2009). Jason Quick is the Portland Trail Blazers beat reporter for The Oregonian; Billy Ray Bates is a former NBA shooting guard who has garnered cult status among avid NBA fans that know about him. This story is not a happy one.

barkingclam
Jun 20, 2007

LARGE THE HEAD posted:

"The Rabbit Hunter", by Frank DeFord (SI, January 26, 1981). DeFord on Bobby Knight, then at his prime at Indiana. I love DeFord's writing so, so much. Wear your tie, Bobby.

It makes me kind of sad to read DeFord's old pieces - all of which are some of the best feature writing I've read - and his current columns, which are nothing if not vanilla. I dunno if it's an age thing or if it takes a different kind of writer to do a weekly column or what, but it's a striking difference.

For the record, here's my fav. DeFord piece: Frank DeFord goes bowling.

Dick Williams
Aug 25, 2005

Nodoze posted:

jeffpearlman: I believe in Howard Bryant 100%—a good friend and good person.

Case closed, nothing to see here.

quick call him a retard and see what happens

LARGE THE HEAD
Sep 1, 2009

"Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden

barkingclam posted:

It makes me kind of sad to read DeFord's old pieces - all of which are some of the best feature writing I've read - and his current columns, which are nothing if not vanilla. I dunno if it's an age thing or if it takes a different kind of writer to do a weekly column or what, but it's a striking difference.

For the record, here's my fav. DeFord piece: Frank DeFord goes bowling.

I think a lot of it is the latter. The pieces are short, they contain opinions, and he's not expected to do much investigative reporting.

I'm sure he can still crank out a story from time to time, but the fact that his columns are called Sweetness and Light is :ironicat: as all get-out.

Politicalrancor
Jan 29, 2008

I CHALLENGE THEE posted:

quick call him a retard and see what happens

I asked him how I could trust him not to write a disingenuous piece about me if I engaged him in discussion and he got waaaay bent out of shape. He really takes everything too seriously.

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BackInTheUSSR
Jun 22, 2004

1.5 HR/9
ACE
Listen I know this is the same story Reilly has been writing for 20 years but I thought it was cute. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=6170690

:siren:ALSO:siren:
As I've said before, I'm an editor at my college paper and have seen some horrors of student journalism. I want to share the worst thing I've ever seen. It's not sports related but I don't care. It's about UCF potentially removing the arboretum to add more buildings. Which is awesome.

I will highlight the ending:

quote:

Let the Arboretum perish, and UCF will no longer stand for opportunity. Let the Arboretum perish, and UCF will stand for hypocrisy.
I think it's time we stop. Knights, what's that sound? What's going down? The environmental education center at the UCF Arboretum.
Timber.
For what it's worth: be conscious, my friends. Be conscious.

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