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bigmike
Oct 20, 2003

gigabitnokie posted:

I think I have the same UA hockey socks you're talking about and they are awesome. I used to like playing in dress socks because they were the thinnest socks I owned but these UAs are just sublime.

sockchat.

I've never had a blister since I started using them. New skate or not.

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WouldDesk
Dec 26, 2009

bewbies posted:

Cup: buy the normal run-of-the-mill thing at Wal-Mart, don’t bother with a special hockey setup just yet

:stare: :stare: :stare:

This is as far as I have read because I just started reading the thread. I am about to read it all after this post. And bewbies, expect questions because I am in OKC and looking to get back into hockey. Last time I played I was before the OKC Thunder took over the building to build their practice facilities :argh:

Now on the cup note, gentlemen... Protect. Your. Effing. Testicles. Ask any man who has had surgery on his boys (not just a vasectomy) and you will see the pain in our eyes, you will feel the despair in our souls, you will long to remove yourself from our presence as the mood falls. Wal-Mart is fine I imagine but please make sure you get the correct size, not too small or large, not some tee-ball thin plastic shell. And never forget to wear it when sticks and pucks are around.

If possible, go to your nearest military base and cut up the underbelly of an older model fighter and fashion your own high speed testicle protector. If the physical pain is not enough for you, just think of the great emotional pain your friends will throw at you with all the creative names...

As I was laying on the table and the anesthesiologist was making his cracker jack jokes to calm me I began to wonder "why me? why me?" then I remembered my first visit to the urologist regarding this problem and I told him I thought this is "kinda funny" that it is happening to me because 10 years ago I remember opening faceoff of a roller hockey game against some college kid and I was in 9th grade. He was pissed at me for something, I got pissed at him for being mean so... well. I cup checked him instead of going for the puck. Then, he hated me for years. I can't help but to believe in karma now. This is not what happened to me but hockey is a great activity to cause great devastation to sensitive areas if left under protected.

So gentlemen. Unless you want to see your balls to swell up to sizes of unbelievable amounts, and I mean unbelievable...that was the only time in my life I thought about passing out or throwing up at the sight of a wound. I was so drat depressed thinking I was broken forever. I get depressed thinking about it :( I hope that guy never had any long term problems from me. Please take ALL protective equipment seriously because pucks and sticks are silent killers, especially to us humans. I would apologize for the slight derail but if I save one testicle, the cause has been a noble one. :tipshat:

TL;DR:
"I wonder if this cheap cup is fine" :iiam:
"Well Dr. I was playing hockey and then..." :corsair:
"I will now have to dissect you unmentionables" :ms:

Cheezymadman
Mar 29, 2010

by Fistgrrl
Getting hit in the nuts:

Pros: No kids
Cons: Hurts like a bitch

Sounds like a wash to me.

Thel
Apr 28, 2010

Cheezymadman posted:

Getting hit in the nuts:

Pros: No kids
Cons: Hurts like a bitch

Sounds like a wash to me.

You can take away that pro with a quick visit to the man with the snips (or by wearing a condom), but getting your balls smashed will always suck severely.

Also, high-impact trauma to the groin can temporarily or possibly permanently impair your ability to get/sustain an erection or deliver the goods. Not to mention the temporary blackout and up to a week in painkiller-induced lala-land.

TLDR: ball-smashing bad, solid cup = good.

WouldDesk
Dec 26, 2009

Thel posted:



Also, high-impact trauma to the groin can temporarily or possibly permanently impair your ability to get/sustain an erection or deliver the goods. Not to mention the temporary blackout and up to a week in painkiller-induced lala-land.

TLDR: ball-smashing bad, solid cup = good.

Oh it will impair it, ejaculations... it is just wrong. I just got out all my old equipment to love on it and it is great (and I found an old Blues jersey which is weir because I was never really a fan other than a few players). And bewbies should I just ask all the possible questions about OKC hockey individually or would you mind giving me the run down? I have very little ice equipment but have that itch.

Also, does anyone use a Trilage stick? I have small hands and think it would be perfect for me. Plus, I was partial to Nike sticks (no comments please) because of the rounder radius's on the edges which help me stick handle in a shoebox. The Triliage was a three sided stick in the past but now moved to four iirc which is odd because you know, TRILAGE!

http://www.trilage.com

Is it feasible for me to drop by a game to check out the situation at the rink?

edit: this has to be a joke right?
http://cgi.ebay.com/Hockey-Stick-Blade-Remover-Puller-XTRAKTO-/180639825326?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2a0ef8fdae

A few minutes and a blow torch are all I have ever used and it works perfect. Maybe dumb hockey shops can buy it and charge a little more because they have to use hardware but this is ridiculous.

WouldDesk fucked around with this message at 09:32 on Mar 25, 2011

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

WouldDesk posted:

Is it feasible for me to drop by a game to check out the situation at the rink?
From what I've seen, yes. You can walk in whenever you want and sit in the stands, watch whatever's going on.

Just don't act surprised if they keep shooting pucks at you during warmup. I was web browsing while waiting for lessons while some guys were getting ready for a game, and I swear every last one of them was using my head as a target. I lost count of the pucks hitting glass right in front of me.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

xzzy posted:

From what I've seen, yes. You can walk in whenever you want and sit in the stands, watch whatever's going on.

Just don't act surprised if they keep shooting pucks at you during warmup. I was web browsing while waiting for lessons while some guys were getting ready for a game, and I swear every last one of them was using my head as a target. I lost count of the pucks hitting glass right in front of me.

This is funny because it's true. One of the guys on my team has a 10ish year old kid, who makes it a point to tell me the Red Wings suck every time I see him. During our warmup he stands up against the glass and I make it a habit to either shoot the puck at his head or throw myself into the boards. He fist bumps the whole team while we're coming off the ice after a game and I enjoy face-washing him as well.

trilljester
Dec 7, 2004

The People's Tight End.

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

This is funny because it's true. One of the guys on my team has a 10ish year old kid, who makes it a point to tell me the Red Wings suck every time I see him.

Well, he's right, you know.

I've found that I play better when I have a beer before my games. I think it loosens me up or something, but I skate and play a LOT better. That's why they call it beer league, right?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Considering the way alcohol reduces your inhibitions, it probably does help. Hockey requires a willingness to put yourself in unsafe situations while balancing on a pair of razor blades, getting a buzz going makes you forget how much it hurts when things go sour.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

trilljester posted:

Well, he's right, you know.

I've found that I play better when I have a beer before my games. I think it loosens me up or something, but I skate and play a LOT better. That's why they call it beer league, right?

I had a few posts throughout the thread whining about my lack of goal scoring since December. Last game of the season, I had about 5-6 beers beforehand. I go out and score 2 goals in one period. I felt so much more loose out there on my skates and was beating people to pucks constantly. I may have to make this a habit...

bigmike
Oct 20, 2003

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

I had a few posts throughout the thread whining about my lack of goal scoring since December. Last game of the season, I had about 5-6 beers beforehand. I go out and score 2 goals in one period. I felt so much more loose out there on my skates and was beating people to pucks constantly. I may have to make this a habit...

Should have had 9 beers. You would have gotten the hat trick.

WouldDesk
Dec 26, 2009

bigmike posted:

Should have had 9 beers. You would have gotten the hat trick.

Why stop there, go heavy and get your first Ovechtrick.

D C
Jun 20, 2004

1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING

xzzy posted:

Considering the way alcohol reduces your inhibitions, it probably does help. Hockey requires a willingness to put yourself in unsafe situations while balancing on a pair of razor blades, getting a buzz going makes you forget how much it hurts when things go sour.

It's a fine balance though, too much and it just sits in your stomach and ohh god its horrible.

One of the guys on my college team would drink sometimes before practice and he was scary out there, could hit like a truck.

Internet Victory
Dec 10, 2005
The future is here. Internet!
Just bought a new jock today. My old one had no elastic or waist lace and kept falling down and today at open hockey I took a rocket slapper right to the dick. I don't know why I try to screen the goalie in open hockey, but yay new equipment!

Israfil
Feb 15, 2008
Gumdrops
Just want to say that the OP is great, and I wish I had advice like that when I started out.

Tadhg
Aug 5, 2007

AUT MORS
AUT GLORIA

:hist101:

Internet Victory posted:

Just bought a new jock today. My old one had no elastic or waist lace and kept falling down and today at open hockey I took a rocket slapper right to the dick. I don't know why I try to screen the goalie in open hockey, but yay new equipment!

SAS Hockey Player Thread: Take a Rocket Slapper Right to the Dick

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

WouldDesk posted:

And bewbies should I just ask all the possible questions about OKC hockey individually or would you mind giving me the run down?

Sure, ask away. I think the spring season is starting tomorrow, beer league games are on Sunday afternoon/evening. You can come watch whenever you'd like, it isn't like they charge admission or something. The spring season is starting this weekend.

ihborbobobo
Sep 16, 2005
the artist formerly known as me
Goalie here and I wear two cups. A goal-jock with the pelvic padding and a regular nike hard plastic player cup and jock underneath to keep everybody happy and together.

What the gently caress is up with the shock-doctor flex cups? That has to be the stupidest loving name for a cup ever! Are they actually flexible? If so it's the stupidest idea too.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

ihborbobobo posted:

What the gently caress is up with the shock-doctor flex cups? That has to be the stupidest loving name for a cup ever! Are they actually flexible? If so it's the stupidest idea too.

Pretty sure it's just a traditional hard material with a rubber edge "for comfort".

Petit.Conan
Aug 8, 2002
Anyone here use/used skate fenders? Hows the ankle protection from them? I have a few bone chips floating around my ankle from getting in front of slappers and poo poo and they seem like a good idea to me.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

Playing in net for the first time in nearly 10 years. This should be interesting. Hopefully I don't take any rocket slappers to the dick...

gigabitnokie
Dec 2, 2008

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

Playing in net for the first time in nearly 10 years. This should be interesting. Hopefully I don't take any rocket slappers to the dick...

Stick/glove taps, shopping cart stance with your hands out in front of you, butt down and drive your knees into the ice when you butterfly. Use your stick a lot.

That's all you need to remember and you're golden.

Also don't take any slappers to the dick, as you mentioned.

Surfing Turtle
Jun 18, 2004
I'M A TURTLE AND I'M SURFING, THAT'S CRAZY!

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

Playing in net for the first time in nearly 10 years. This should be interesting. Hopefully I don't take any rocket slappers to the dick...

Just make sure to squeeze your legs tight baby! Also, no slappers to the dick.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

1 game, 1 win, and more importantly, 0 rocket slappers to the dick :smug:

It was actually a ton of fun. It was the first time I've ever played goalie on ice. I felt like an aircraft carrier trying to maneuver in the pads though. gently caress the skates. gently caress. The. Skates. I almost ate poo poo skating over to the bench after the zamboni was done.

I gave up a couple softies, but made a few nice diving saves. My problem was that when I slid to a side to make a save, I'd kick the leg out, but I'd be sort of crouching on the other leg, so my 5-hole was wide open. Gave up 1 or 2 between the legs like that :(

I took a couple shots between the top of the kicker and the pad in the pants when I went down to my knees They're already sore today. All in all, it was a blast and I'd do it again. Our team now has a backup goalie!

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

It was actually a ton of fun. It was the first time I've ever played goalie on ice.

There is a goalie-centric thread here too:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2759111

Not that posting goalie stuff in here is bad, but I'm not sure how much cross-pollination there is between the two threads and you can get a bunch of advice from other goalies if you want.

Surfing Turtle
Jun 18, 2004
I'M A TURTLE AND I'M SURFING, THAT'S CRAZY!

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

1 game, 1 win, and more importantly, 0 rocket slappers to the dick :smug:

It was actually a ton of fun. It was the first time I've ever played goalie on ice. I felt like an aircraft carrier trying to maneuver in the pads though. gently caress the skates. gently caress. The. Skates. I almost ate poo poo skating over to the bench after the zamboni was done.

I gave up a couple softies, but made a few nice diving saves. My problem was that when I slid to a side to make a save, I'd kick the leg out, but I'd be sort of crouching on the other leg, so my 5-hole was wide open. Gave up 1 or 2 between the legs like that :(

I took a couple shots between the top of the kicker and the pad in the pants when I went down to my knees They're already sore today. All in all, it was a blast and I'd do it again. Our team now has a backup goalie!

You will learn to love goalie skates. Your balance is all off as goalie in stance when wearing regular skates. Also, your shuffles and explosive movements are better in them.

Aniki
Mar 21, 2001

Wouldn't fit...

Surfing Turtle posted:

You will learn to love goalie skates. Your balance is all off as goalie in stance when wearing regular skates. Also, your shuffles and explosive movements are better in them.

Goalie skates also have protective cowlings, so you won't break your foot when a puck hits your skate.

gigabitnokie
Dec 2, 2008
Goalie skates also make it way easier to lean against the crossbar and chill between rushes.

Surfing Turtle
Jun 18, 2004
I'M A TURTLE AND I'M SURFING, THAT'S CRAZY!

Aniki posted:

Goalie skates also have protective cowlings, so you won't break your foot when a puck hits your skate.


Best part actualy. Note, no slap shots to the dick as well.

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe
My "I'm a lovely person" story of the week:

In our pickup game last Thursday a new guy I've never met showed up. He skates on a league team in a lower level and is a super nice guy; someone invited him to our skate (which is at a pretty high skill level) because we were a little short last week.

He was struggling pretty bad through most of the game, but in a way I wasn't familiar with: he was a very good skater, occasionally he'd do something awesome like shoot it really well, and his equipment made you think he'd played the game at a high level (he had an old beat up pair of custom skates, team color pants, etc). Most of the time though he couldn't do much of anything; couldn't catch passes, couldn't stickhandle, etc etc. I was getting kind of frustrated with him as he insisted on skating at center and every time he'd get the puck, the breakout would just...stop. Essentially, when he was on the ice it was a power play for the other team, which got old pretty quickly. I chalked it up to him not being used to the higher speed/etc of our game, whatever, he probably wouldn't get invited back so that's cool.

Another new thing that night: there was a middle aged guy sitting in the stands watching our game. We'd never had a spectator before.

Anyway, later in the game he gets the puck in the neutral zone, I've gotten behind the far side defenseman and have a wide open sheet of ice in front of me. He's (very slowly) carrying the puck forward. I start calling for it, he chugs along forward like he can't see me, tries to take the near side defenseman one on one, loses the puck at the blue line and gives up an odd man the other direction. I stopped at their blue line and acted like I'd just suffered a horrible wrongdoing, then went to the bench.

I was going to say something to him like DID YOU REALLY NOT SEE ME OR WHAT, but I lost interest in the event almost immediately and didn't end up mentioning it.

On Saturday night, I went out with some hockey buddies, and we (like hockey players always seem to do) wind up talking about Thursday's game. My buddy says something like "boy that blind guy did better than I thought he would". The gears start spinning, and I realize I'm a dick: the new guy was a former (very good) player who had lost most of his eyesight in a car accident, since he was legally blind his dad had to take him hockey. He skated at center because he was less likely to crash into the boards that way. I revealed that I'd almost asked him "DID YOU REALLY NOT SEE ME???" and then felt terrible some more.

I still have no idea how he managed to not die while playing.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

xzzy posted:

There is a goalie-centric thread here too:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2759111

Not that posting goalie stuff in here is bad, but I'm not sure how much cross-pollination there is between the two threads and you can get a bunch of advice from other goalies if you want.

Yeah I saw that floating about. I'm just a regular ol' wing who stepped in the net for fun for a game. Not looking to tend the net full time. I gotta say, it's much more exhausting than I thought. I was dead tired after slapshot practice and SHOOTOUT CHALLENGE before the game.

Aniki posted:

Goalie skates also have protective cowlings, so you won't break your foot when a puck hits your skate.
Yeah, our goalie said I could just wear my normal skates but I said hell no. Even though his were 2.5 sizes bigger than mine, I'd rather not have a broken foot.

Henrik Zetterberg fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Mar 28, 2011

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

You're not a lovely person if you didn't know. :colbert:

When I did neighborhood hockey as a kid, I always took off my glasses because whenever I got hit they'd go flying, and I didn't want my mom to yell at me for breaking my glasses. Getting glasses that fit properly might have been a solution too, but oh well.

I could track the puck okay (granted, it wasn't moving very fast) but I would frequently pass to the other team because I couldn't see anyone's faces and we all wore the same colors. :smith:

Pretty ballsy to go on the ice as a blind dude though. I wonder what he's like when he's got the rink to himself, whether he can skate full out or stays timid.

Surfing Turtle
Jun 18, 2004
I'M A TURTLE AND I'M SURFING, THAT'S CRAZY!
That's pretty ridiculous he can still play with little to no eyesight. That's impressive but yea you didn't know and I'm sure it's not something he wants to broadcast. He probably wants to be treated like everyone else playing.

WouldDesk
Dec 26, 2009

bewbies posted:

:words:

Did nobody feel the need to say "hey, my buddy I invited: blind." He probably had a blast if that helps :shobon: Do you expect him back or was it a one time thing?

When I was 14 or so a teammate missed games/practice for a few weeks (along with the coach, his dad) and my calls were not answered. When he finally came back (without dad/coach) I found out during warn-ups his mother had died suspiciously (in her sleep, from "asthma")and his dad was a suspect. I had stayed over with them many times... Anyway, the league director knew all this and decided he would not tell me even though he knew I was close with the family. So that was an awkward conversation with him "hey slacker, where ya been, where's coach, decide he would take vacation for another week?"

xzzy posted:


When I did neighborhood hockey as a kid, I always took off my glasses because whenever I got hit they'd go flying


Rough neighborhood? :raise: I mean, there were plenty of times in neighborhood hockey we would push each other into the grass but we were fairly thoughtful about not killing kids with glasses.

WouldDesk fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Mar 28, 2011

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

WouldDesk posted:

Did nobody feel the need to say "hey, my buddy I invited: blind." He probably had a blast if that helps :shobon: Do you expect him back or was it a one time thing?

When I was 14 or so a teammate missed games/practice for a few weeks (along with the coach, his dad) and my calls were not answered. When he finally came back (without dad/coach) I found out during warn-ups his mother had died suspiciously (in her sleep, from "asthma")and his dad was a suspect. I had stayed over with them many times... Anyway, the league director knew all this and decided he would not tell me even though he knew I was close with the family. So that was an awkward conversation with him "hey slacker, where ya been, where's coach, decide he would take vacation for another week?"

I hope he comes back, it was pretty impressive ex post facto.

Your story reminded me of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debora_Green

I'd played on travel teams for years with Tim, then his mom murdered him. :(

We put his number on the backs of our helmet that year, and I used that helmet all the way up until this season with his number still on it.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Should get everyone an LED to put on the top of their helmet, green for one team, red for the other team. Can get LED's bright enough to wake the dead, should be no problem for anyone not completely blind to see.


WouldDesk posted:

Rough neighborhood? :raise: I mean, there were plenty of times in neighborhood hockey we would push each other into the grass but we were fairly thoughtful about not killing kids with glasses.

No, we were just enthusiastic. No one ever got hurt, we just loved pretending like we knew how to play hockey. But my drat glasses would never stay on.

xzzy fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Mar 28, 2011

poser
Jun 9, 2002

Are they booing the power play?

I was saying Boo-urns!
For the people in leagues.. Do you have one or two jerseys and what does the league require?

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

We are required to have dark and light jerseys. They don't need to all be matching though, just the same general color.

edit: gently caress hockeygiant.com for waiting 4 days to tell me the Vapor X:50 skates are out of stock :argh:

e2: VV I just ordered the last pair of my size from Hockey Monkey v :) V

Henrik Zetterberg fucked around with this message at 22:25 on Mar 28, 2011

poser
Jun 9, 2002

Are they booing the power play?

I was saying Boo-urns!

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

We are required to have dark and light jerseys. They don't need to all be matching though, just the same general color.

edit: gently caress hockeygiant.com for waiting 4 days to tell me the Vapor X:50 skates are out of stock :argh:

Told you to get the x:60 :ssh:

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WouldDesk
Dec 26, 2009

Henrik Zetterberg posted:



e2: VV I just ordered the last pair of my size from Hockey Monkey v :) V

Henrik Zetterberg,

"Thank you for choosing Hockey Monkey as your online hockey equipment source, we appreciated your continued business. We however regret to inform you that another customer ordered the same item as you and our system lagged in recognizing their order. Your order will be processed as soon as possible (half a season). Thank you again for your patience regarding this matter."

Hockey Monkey Online Customer Service Technician Specialist, Karen

WouldDesk fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Mar 28, 2011

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