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When the gently caress do I get to explain to people that I have ADHD and have them actually understand why that explains certain aspects of my behavior?
TheGopher fucked around with this message at 08:25 on Apr 6, 2011 |
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Apr 6, 2011 07:10
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Probably not for a long, long time. Even with the recently increasing scientific interest in/understanding of ADHD, the general public has never given and continues to not give the remotest poo poo about understanding mental conditions, disorders, imbalances, et cetera. People are still fighting the idea that the seriously mentally ill are irreparably broken and can never be a functioning part of society, and the mental-health debate still has many major social, legal, medical, and ethical issues left to cover before society's ready to intelligently address anything more complex than "crazy people are weird and use up tax dollars." Next to such difficult and controversial subjects, a comparatively "minor" neurological problem like adult ADHD doesn't draw a lot of public interest, leaving the common (and ignorant) "you just need to try harder! Bootstraps!" attitude unchallenged. If you want people to understand how ADHD shapes certain elements of your behaviour, you are going to have to explain it to them. A lot of folks don't even really know what ADHD is - they just think it's some kind of "bad kid" disorder that makes young boys loud and uncontrollable. Wartime Consigliere posted:That sounds like it sucks. It does. However, it sucks significantly less than not having meds at all. Just make sure you're ready to knuckle down and get yourself organized, and you shouldn't have much trouble dealing with it.
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Apr 6, 2011 13:43
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TheGopher posted:When the gently caress do I get to explain to people that I have ADHD and have them actually understand why that explains certain aspects of my behavior? never
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Apr 6, 2011 14:21
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Yeah whenever I try to explain something regarding my ADHD to one of my [very close] friends they always reply to the tune of "haha yeah right man you're just lazy" I'm lazy in the same way that that kid with downs over there just isnt trying hard enough to be un-retarded 
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Apr 6, 2011 14:45
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I'm totally in one of those 'give up your dreams because you won't ever be committed to anything' moods at the moment. I'll be happy again by tomorrow. The cycle continues. Btw, I always feel like a complete loser/jealous when I see someone who's 'successful' in spite of their ADHD. CheckedNoMate fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Apr 6, 2011 |
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Apr 6, 2011 20:40
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CheckedNoMate posted:I'm totally in one of those 'give up your dreams because you won't ever be committed to anything' moods at the moment. I'll be happy again by tomorrow. The cycle continues. It's cool bro I am essentially a graduate student with an undecided major. woop woop ride the shifting interests train
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Apr 6, 2011 22:47
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Angry Diplomat posted:If you want people to understand how ADHD shapes certain elements of your behaviour, you are going to have to explain it to them. A lot of folks don't even really know what ADHD is - they just think it's some kind of "bad kid" disorder that makes young boys loud and uncontrollable. Sigh, I'm just so sick of hearing people say I'm annoying because I talk way too much, fidget all the time, have a hard time picking up on the more subtle social cues, and have a terrible hearing loss combined with poor auditory processing. Meanwhile, I have an extremely difficult time expressing myself coherently verbally, so I tend to be the butt of the joke. The only way I've helped myself be taken more seriously is by being able to get in the occasional witty joke or remark, so people get the idea that I'm actually fairly sharp. On the other hand, because of moments like this I'm held to a double standard at time because people know I'm smart, but sometimes act like I'm half my age. I can't loving help it, and I'm so sick of how I'm treated because the only way I can explain it is by saying, "I have ADHD," which sounds like an excuse more than a reason. I just hope one day that when I say, "I have ADHD," people will give a poo poo enough to find out what that actually means. The only other mental illness that has a similar kind of negative stigma is Asperger, where it's over-diagnosed, and as a result the seriousness of coping with the condition is ignored. I tend to ignore all the ADHD jokes people make, like "How many kids does with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightb- Wanna go ride a bike?" but there's definitely a correlation between the jokes like these and the general attitude people have towards the condition.
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Apr 6, 2011 23:37
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Tell them you have had a learning disability since you were a child then look very, very hurt. Technically, its not untrue.
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Apr 6, 2011 23:45
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Yet you jumped on my case for being uptight because I'm sick of the Bikes! poo poo. I don't tell people I have ADD if I care about their opinion of me, because I don't want them to think I'm a spazzy goofball. Instead I try to act as normal as possible and if I do something related to my ADD, I apologize and move on. It's hard a lot of the time, but no one is perfect, mental condition or not.
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Apr 7, 2011 00:08
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You're still uptight though
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Apr 7, 2011 00:25
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I don't label myself because if I do then people know I'm the kind of person who uses labels for people which is annoying as poo poo.
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Apr 7, 2011 00:50
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I'd like to think that me being a spazzy goofball is separate from the ADD. But sometimes, it just isn't. Fortunately, I also have a set of friends which I've had for a long time, and they don't seriously get on my case about it - and those that do don't tend to stay my friends for long.
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Apr 7, 2011 00:53
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It's not that the jokes are causing the negative perception, it's just an indication of ignorance as a whole. A lot of the jokes that are made about ADHD aren't meant to be malicious or hurtful, people just odn't know better. Also, we use the term "bikes" in a positive way, to describe a feeling that we all experience on a daily basis. Besides, I didn't say you were uptight because you didn't like the joke, I called you uptight because you said you were going to bar your daughter from ever making a joke about bikes, as well as disparage the people who posted in this topic and who find it therapeutic. To get back to the original point, I don't tell people I have ADHD, but I'm not going to lie about it either. My work still has no idea that I have it, nor do they know I take medication for it. There are people I'm around are smart enough to pick up on stuff, especially when I've mentioned I can't drink caffeine for medical reasons, amongst other things that could clue them in. My complaint comes from the fact that I am treated in the same manner ubiquitously (to varying degrees), and that ADHD doesn't just mean I have trouble staying focused on the task at hand, or fidget more than most. The only way I have to explain to people what having ADHD is really like, is if they ask me. There is no tactful way for me to explain to people why I'm different, nor do most people even give a poo poo. I've been greeted with attitudes like, "everybody has problems man," to, "stop whining and do something about it then." It's a lose-lose situation, and it loving sucks: I keep my ADHD a secret, and have to put up with bullshit that I wouldn't if people knew, and am treated differently because there's no apparent reason for my behavior. Alternatively, I tell people about ADHD, and am treated differently for it, because people don't really understand it. tl;dr: Long post. Don't read it if you don't want to, it's probably incoherent because I'm at work.
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Apr 7, 2011 01:20
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2508084 posted:You're still uptight though But anyway, another reason I don't generally tell people I have ADD is that I feel like it will lower expectations, and therefore lower my motivation to get things done. The people I have told either think they also have ADD and\or want some of my meds.
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Apr 7, 2011 01:29
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TheGopher posted:I called you uptight because you said you were going to bar your daughter from ever making a joke about bikes, as well as disparage the people who posted in this topic and who find it therapeutic.
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Apr 7, 2011 01:43
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People 'round these parts were upset because you dismissed the whole bikes thing as "HURRR ADD WANNA RIDE BIKES??!" when actually bike riding is extremely therapeutic for a large percentage of ADD individuals. It's interesting that you, as someone with ADD, would step up with such an outright and sudden statement of distaste toward the activity. It seems like you are somehow trying to be an ADD apologist, like "whoa, *I'm* not like those guys with their bikes. Gosh they are so annoying. No sir, I'm just a normal person." As long as you don't mention to anyone that you have ADD, nobody is going to have that opinion of you. Luckily, this is a semi-anonymous internet forum, and we can share things about ourselves openly here that we might not in day to day life. Most of the people I interact with on a day to day basis don't know I have ADD. They do know that I'm an avid cyclist. But I don't care what they know about me, because I know that at the end of the day I'm not "that weirdo that can't pay attention" but rather "that person who is a good employee, creative and outgoing, and a nice person." My actions speak for themselves, and if someone wants to go ahead and stereotype me because they know I take adderall or whatever then frankly, I don't give a poo poo! wilfredmerriweathr fucked around with this message at 02:18 on Apr 7, 2011 |
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Apr 7, 2011 02:15
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Effexxor posted:Sounds like you also have issues with an addictive personality, which is very common for people with ADHD. During the worst time of my life, when I was too far away from my psychiatrist and too poor for $100 bottles of Adderall I was pretty damned close to being an alcoholic. I just didn't want to be bored and be with... myself and my thoughts. If I lived in that environment for any longer, I have no doubt that I would have been really bad. In fact, I have no doubt that if my life ever got really bad and I lost the amazing support system that I have right now, I could run into some serious issues. You're probably right. I generally have really poor impulse control. Like you get an idea and it's an itch you have to scratch, or a sneeze that if you manage to stop it now you'll just get again later and have even more trouble stopping. I managed to consistently go to the gym for a few weeks some time last year and managed to beat the crap out of myself lifting which felt pretty good. I'm going to look into gyms in my new area at some point this week! Right after I get this pile of forms right here on my desk finished! Blargh On the topic of talking to people about ADHD, whenever I've mentioned it I generally get "Bullshit!" because I'm not literally swinging from lightbulbs or "Well yeah, everyone gets that!" Both of which I've found to be equally frustrating. Re: Bike riding. I like to ride around the park next to my flat at night time singing (wailing) Wake Up by Arcade Fire at the top of my lungs. Who said living in a city centre is boring? 
SAVE-LISP-AND-DIE fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Apr 7, 2011 |
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Apr 7, 2011 02:20
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cloudstrife2993 posted:People 'round these parts were upset because you dismissed the whole bikes thing as "HURRR ADD WANNA RIDE BIKES??!" when actually bike riding is extremely therapeutic for a large percentage of ADD individuals. It's interesting that you, as someone with ADD, would step up with such an outright and sudden statement of distaste toward the activity. It seems like you are somehow trying to be an ADD apologist, like "whoa, *I'm* not like those guys with their bikes. Gosh they are so annoying. No sir, I'm just a normal person."
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Apr 7, 2011 02:35
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strange posted:On the topic of talking to people about ADHD, whenever I've mentioned it I generally get "Bullshit!" because I'm not literally swinging from lightbulbs or "Well yeah, everyone gets that!" Both of which I've found to be equally frustrating. I can deal with outright non-believes because they'll actually engage you in a conversation. Best thing you can do is compare it to depression, because it's so common and the point has been hammered home with tons of PSA's that being depressed isn't the same as being sad. This is the case for ADHD, you may appear to only be a little energetic, or a little lazy, but it's the severity of those symptoms. Everybody has felt sad, but not everybody has been depressed.
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Apr 7, 2011 02:55
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opie posted:So it seems maybe I'm a little of column B - I would prefer to take meds but can cope without them, and this thread is a lot of column C - "I did\didn't do something today and it was totally because of my meds\ADD.". That's what we're all referring to.
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Apr 7, 2011 02:58
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opie posted:I never said anything against actually going out and riding bikes. I used to be into it and even spent a ton of money on a nice bike but I have no time or energy for it now. But sitting at a computer posting "BIKES!" is not the same as riding a bike. If it was SPEED! instead of bikes, I'd feel the same way even though I know drugs are an effective treatment. It's the "Oh I am acting like I have something super important to say so here it...BIKES!" gag that I was talking about. It's just one of my pet peeves and there's no reason to feel all butthurt about it. Obviously everyone else thinks it's a great joke. Do you realize you're being really defensive and uptight. I would prescribe that you take a bike ride, immediately.
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Apr 7, 2011 06:29
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TheBigBad posted:Do you realize you're being really defensive and uptight. I would prescribe that you take a bike ride, immediately. Also I think it's raining and my bike is broken so there will be no riding for me. I'd rather do puzzles and play games anyway. That's what I do to calm my brain and give it a focus.
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Apr 7, 2011 07:38
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Okay, so since being put on adderall I'm feeling a whole hell of a lot better, but it's suppressing my appetite quite a bit. I've been forcing myself to drink carnation instant breakfast shakes to add a bit of calories and nutrients to my diet, but I fear it might not be enough. Today for example I had: Breakfast Shake (250calories) Personal Pizza (260calories) Coca Cola (240 calories) A small amount of a chicken caesar salad (200 calories) Mountain Dew (240 calories) Total Calories: ~1200 calories Which would be all well and good if I were a petite woman trying to lose weight, however I'm a kinda bulky guy who works out at least an hour a day lifting weights and doing cardio. So I'm worried I'm probably starving my body here. Has anyone else experienced this issue before?
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Apr 7, 2011 08:41
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baronvonwalz posted:So I'm worried I'm probably starving my body here. Has anyone else experienced this issue before? Yup. Start supplimenting with nuts and protein powder + full fat milk. Ive been out of adderall for two days now thanks to my dumbass taking too long to get the script down to the pharmacy. So much coffee and lo carb monster drinks. I get it tomorrow, thank god 
ladyweapon fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Apr 7, 2011 |
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Apr 7, 2011 14:47
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baronvonwalz posted:Today for example I had: You're on Adderall. I'd recommend you kick out the Coke and Mountain Dew immediately. They're empty calories that don't do anything nutritionally, and you're really not getting any effect from the caffeine. If you *have* to have a soda, at least go decaf. What helps me is taking a daily multivitamin every morning. And then, surround yourself with healthy foods to nosh on all day, such as fruits, veggies, and proteins, like nuts and eggs. I'm also a huge fan of hummus and crackers. It may work out to be less calories overall, but they quality of that food and calories are much better for your body, and your body will thank you for it. Oh, and jerky is also good. So is yogurt. I end up eating lots of yogurt, especially the Greek stuff. Yiayia would approve. (And those ads were hilarious, as I had a Grandma who was just like that, except she was Italian and Norwegian.) Lately, one of my favorites has been rotisserie chicken. I get mine from Whole Foods, because I'm an uppity yuppie that way. Great for you, they're very yummy, and you can do a lot with it, even making a stock from the bones and skin afterwards.
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Apr 7, 2011 16:08
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If you're having a lot of trouble forcing yourself to eat actual food, try always keeping a convenient, enjoyable (and if possible, relatively healthy) snack on hand. For example, I loving love peanut butter, so I'll occasionally pick up a box of those little peanut butter granola bars. When my appetite is so messed up that I'm too "not hungry" to make myself take a bite of my lunch, I can still nibble on one of those granola bars because they are goddamn delicious. That keeps me from going all day on an empty stomach, and it seems like it reminds my brain that food is important - I'll finish the granola bar, think about grabbing another one, realize I'm a little hungry, and start munching on my lunch. The most important thing is to have a snack that will tempt you even when you're not hungry - it doesn't have to be massively nutritious, as long as you're not eating icing out of a can or something. Once you start enjoying the process of eating the snack, you'll often be able to get started on some proper food without having to struggle through that frustrating "oh god I really don't want to eat right now" phase. e: I guess what I'm saying is that you should learn to trick yourself into eating properly without realizing it. e2: Qu Appelle has the right idea, too; if there's a particular snack that you really enjoy eating and is also healthy for you, buy a shitload of it and always keep it on hand. I love Granny Smith apples so goddamn much that they're practically a treat for me, so I always try to bring one to work to make sure that I'll eat something healthy even if my appetite acts up. The downside is that I love those apples so much that I usually end up devouring it before my first coffee break. Oh well
Angry Diplomat fucked around with this message at 17:02 on Apr 7, 2011 |
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Apr 7, 2011 16:56
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At work, I am currently surrounded by bananas. This is not an euphemism.
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Apr 7, 2011 18:13
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He's complaining of a lack of appetite and also- a boy. So- yeah peanut butter, I recommend having pretzels to dip into the peanut-butter. Beef Jerky, Turkey Jerky, any dried meat. Nuts, bolts, and the chicken is a pretty good idea. I get the ones at safeway because I'm cheap and their all genetically manipulated anyway. Haven't had a real chicken since the 80s. I have problems remembering to eat at all, and when I do I don't eat much, but I'm interested in being 50 pounds lighter by december so I'm not very worried yet.
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Apr 7, 2011 18:38
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Letting yourself starve it off isn't a good idea, physically or mentally
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Apr 7, 2011 19:19
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I had a horrible time eating the first few days on Adderall. I was able to eat plain grilled chicken and rice with butter on it at the end of the day. I ate that for like 3 days. Then a Jimmy John's sub sounded good. And then the floodgates pretty much opened to where now I have my normal appetite back. I don't know if that's typical or not, but I was able to eat when the pill wore off at least (after a few days) and now I can eat at my usual times. I could not bring myself to eat peanut butter or anything even though I don't mind it. Try to find something - anything that sounds good that has protein and other nutritious junk in it. And if that's the only thing that sounds good for your next meal, do it again. Your mind/body will be like "hey this eating thing ain't so bad, let's allow it." or maybe not, but it worked for me. Qu Appelle posted:You're on Adderall. I'd recommend you kick out the Coke and Mountain Dew immediately. They're empty calories that don't do anything nutritionally, and you're really not getting any effect from the caffeine. If you *have* to have a soda, at least go decaf. I mostly drink caffeine free Coke now, I still have to mix in 1 real Coke throughout the day because I'll get caffeine withdrawals if I don't. The taste is pretty similar and I don't mind the decaf coke at all. I think it has less to do with being on Adderall and moreso that caffeine makes me tired.
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Apr 7, 2011 19:55
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Wartime Consigliere posted:I mostly drink caffeine free Coke now, I still have to mix in 1 real Coke throughout the day because I'll get caffeine withdrawals if I don't. The taste is pretty similar and I don't mind the decaf coke at all. I think it has less to do with being on Adderall and moreso that caffeine makes me tired. OK, that makes a lot more sense. Lately, I've been having to have green tea in the afternoon, because the afternoon Baclofen makes me sleepy - and by the the Dex has metabolized and worn off partially.
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Apr 7, 2011 20:03
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Chumbawumba4ever97 fucked around with this message at 12:31 on Sep 18, 2012 |
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Apr 7, 2011 21:56
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Well, since the Wellbutrin isn't pulling it off, the doctor gave me Strattera today. I start it tomorrow. For those who've tried it, how long did it take to start working?
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Apr 7, 2011 22:58
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Hamburglar posted:
Ive had sleep issues since about six months old. I'd stay up for 2 days, sleep for 8 hours, be up for another 24 hours, sleep for two days. Its happened all my life.
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Apr 7, 2011 22:59
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Chumbawumba4ever97 fucked around with this message at 12:32 on Sep 18, 2012 |
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Apr 7, 2011 23:51
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Off the Adderall thanks to lack of sleep, start trying Ritalin tomorrow, hoping I respond to it better. Doc said that the active period tends to be shorter. If I could get two solid 3-4 periods and still be able to sleep at night, I would be golden.
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Apr 8, 2011 02:06
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My husband and I have been on rocky grounds lately to the point we were going to break up, but we decided to at least try counselling for a few weeks and see how that goes. The therapist didn't make excuses, but did tell him that some of his expectations were far too high of someone with ADHD. One thing was something silly like me writing a resume - My husband said he didn't understand why it took me 3 days to write it and how stressed I got about it. The therapist said 'of course you wouldn't, you don't live with ADHD/anxiety. You pull doubleshifts, work two jobs, and have kept them down for years (and quite easily), but you expect her to do the same even in the way this economy is now.' My husband seems to still be struggling with understanding adhd/anxiety. But if he doesn't then in 4 months he'll be going to school alone and I'll find someone who will take the time to understand it. As for sleep problems, eh. I still have them. I'm going to start hitting the gym this upcoming week and hopefully the  and BIKES!!! help me go to sleep better.
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Apr 8, 2011 07:12
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From your posts elsewhere, your husband is a disgusting piece of poo poo who deserves to be left.
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Apr 8, 2011 18:53
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TheGopher posted:Sigh, I'm just so sick of hearing people say I'm annoying because I talk way too much, fidget all the time, have a hard time picking up on the more subtle social cues, and have a terrible hearing loss combined with poor auditory processing. Meanwhile, I have an extremely difficult time expressing myself coherently verbally, so I tend to be the butt of the joke. So explain it to them or find new friends. My friends have been really good about understanding why I do the stuff that I do since I've explained to them about how it feels, what I feel compulsed to do, and have told them what to do in situations where I'm being annoying. My friends all know that if I suddenly go off somewhere, it's not because I'm mad or anything, it's because I need to go somewhere with less stimulation. Man, you have a disorder that effects everyone around you. That's the long and short of it, and you can't expect people to instantly not be annoyed by annoying things that you do. You can try your best, make sure that they know that you're trying your best, and then just continue on with your life. If you stew on this, you're only going to make it worse for you. Edit: Also, chiming in about foods that fill you up and are awesome, especially for Baronvonwalz. Eggs are amazing, because not only are they amazing by being one of the easiest and fastest ways to absorb protein into your body, but they taste great and are cheap. I just asked my fiance about it because he's into powerlifting and has to make sure he gets enough protein into his body and he seconded the suggestion for nuts. A serving of almonds is 500 calories of all good fats and proteins, if you want to up caloric intake, they're portable and tasty. Effexxor fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Apr 8, 2011 |
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Apr 8, 2011 20:26
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Aculard posted:My husband and I have been on rocky grounds lately to the point we were going to break up, but we decided to at least try counseling for a few weeks and see how that goes. Let me offer some sage advice I was given before I got married 6 years ago. You know its the right one when its easy. My wife and I never fight, I think in 8 years together total we've fought once. You always are being thought of first, and you're always thinking of them first. My wife even appreciates my ADHD because it gives me a unique perspective on the world, and I approach things completely differently than 'normal' people. Unless there is a kid in the mix, I'd say you're just wasting 4 more months of your life, even if you love him.
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Apr 8, 2011 22:59
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