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Bape Culture
Sep 13, 2006

N3RDSTER posted:

Woah, I didn't bother to watch/record Secret Millionaire 'cos I thought the formula was a bit tired, but I didn't know it was in Boro this week. Gonna have to catch up on 4OD. Do you know what area they were in?

All over. I think he was living in park end or somewhere.

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Kin
Nov 4, 2003

Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.
First it was that mastercheff style show based on people fighting it out to be a loving waiter, now it's a documentary on some kind of swanky restaraunt in the middle of a prison, staffed completely by prisoners.

Is this the BBC's attempt to portray "big society"?

SeanBeansShako
Nov 20, 2009

Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.
I'd sorta watch it if it was an American Prison.

Padje
Sep 10, 2003

I don't much care for the attitude of filthy money-lenders

ShaneMacGowansTeeth posted:

on the plus side, the Charles lookalike actually resembles who he's supposed to, right down to the gormless grin. And hopefully neither he nor the Queen get it on in the rest of the film

What? I was hoping they'd bang each other.

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends

Padje posted:

What? I was hoping they'd bang each other.

I don't think our porn has quite descended to that level just yet

The Supreme Court
Feb 25, 2010

Pirate World: Nearly done!
Why would you write any fiction about the royals and not include Prince Phillip?

SeanBeansShako
Nov 20, 2009

Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

The Supreme Court posted:

Why would you write any fiction about the royals and not include Prince Phillip?

Ron Jeremy is really expensive to get I hear these days.

Flipswitch
Mar 30, 2010


The Supreme Court posted:

Why would you write any fiction about the royals and not include Prince Phillip?
That's the easy option.

Sion
Oct 16, 2004

"I'm the boss of space. That's plenty."

N3RDSTER posted:

Woah, I didn't bother to watch/record Secret Millionaire 'cos I thought the formula was a bit tired, but I didn't know it was in Boro this week. Gonna have to catch up on 4OD. Do you know what area they were in?

Hate to say it pal but the only difference between high class boro and low class boro is the amount of times the needle gets re-used.

Gram-O-Phone
Mar 9, 2007

Oh, play that thing!

Flatscan posted:

Midget Prince Harry being gang-banged by Klingons. Make it so!

And then all their clothes fell off. And I cycled away ... on the grass :smug:

eleven extra elephants
Feb 16, 2007

Menschliches! Allzumenschliches!!
I haven't watched Hollyoaks for a while but this writing of the serial killer dude talking to the boyfriend of the girl he murderedis hamfisted as gently caress. People do not talk like this in real life.

Flatscan
Mar 27, 2001

Outlaw Journalist

Gram-O-Phone posted:

And then all their clothes fell off. And I cycled away ... on the grass :smug:

Oi! You can't ride your bike on the grass.

hookerbot 5000
Dec 21, 2009

FAT WORM OF ERROR posted:

I haven't watched Hollyoaks for a while but this writing of the serial killer dude talking to the boyfriend of the girl he murderedis hamfisted as gently caress. People do not talk like this in real life.

Is there another serial killer in Hollyoaks? How many has that been now?

Metrication
Dec 12, 2010

Raskin had one problem: Jobs regarded him as an insufferable theorist or, to use Jobs's own more precise terminology, "a shithead who sucks".
Sometimes I think Campus is getting slightly funnier but then it stops again.


Edit:
Episode 4 has been repeatedly funny. Shame it's taken this long to get there.

Metrication fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Apr 27, 2011

Kin
Nov 4, 2003

Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.

FAT WORM OF ERROR posted:

I haven't watched Hollyoaks for a while but this writing of the serial killer dude talking to the boyfriend of the girl he murderedis hamfisted as gently caress. People do not talk like this in real life.

I caught a bit where the boyfriend? was talking to the police and when asked how he met her he says "i was swimming and then drowing and then an Angel rescued me. I know it sounds cliched, but that's what happened".

Really, it sound cliche huh? Why the gently caress did you say it? just say you met her when she stopped your poorly written rear end from drowning. Those are the only 30 seconds i watched of Holloaks and it's still as terrible as it's always been.

It's a brilliant litmus test for people though. If you find someone who watches Hollyoaks there's a good chance they're a tasteless moron.

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends
you are talking about Hollyoaks, whose highpoint was a madcap scheme to kill people was dumping them in a wave tank for what seemed like 5 straight episodes, and make it look like they were in the sea. And it didn't work.

eleven extra elephants
Feb 16, 2007

Menschliches! Allzumenschliches!!

Kin posted:

I caught a bit where the boyfriend? was talking to the police and when asked how he met her he says "i was swimming and then drowing and then an Angel rescued me. I know it sounds cliched, but that's what happened".


Yeah, the part I caught was him talking the boyfriend in his best Hannibal voice, saying stuff like "I'd bet you'd like 5 minutes alone with her killer," and "if you talked to him maybe you'd find out things you wouldn't like to know." There was basically a solid minute of comical over the top sentences which if happened in real life would point him out as being a killer in 10 seconds.

I do have a strange crush on that massive titted Irish woman though, so all is forgiven.

Old Grasshopper
Apr 7, 2011

"Patience, young grasshopper."

Gram-O-Phone posted:

And then all their clothes fell off. And I cycled away ... on the grass :smug:

That's loving hardcore.

Seriously though, this Royal Wedding BS is really starting to get to me. I'm going to refuse to watch TV for the next 2 days with the only exception being House tomorrow evening. I will turn off all radios and just pretend nothing is happening and hope when it's over we aren't plagued by loving repeats.

Bape Culture
Sep 13, 2006

So does anyone know who the super injunction guy they mentioned on hignfy is?
Do internet people go to jail for saying it? Or just media types?

hookerbot 5000
Dec 21, 2009

A5H posted:

So does anyone know who the super injunction guy they mentioned on hignfy is?
Do internet people go to jail for saying it? Or just media types?

You can find them fairly easily, especially if you remember the quote from the Daily Mail talking about the TV stars shameless behaviour.

Edited out of fear of authority

hookerbot 5000 fucked around with this message at 23:29 on Apr 27, 2011

Bape Culture
Sep 13, 2006

Ah right. That's lead me here: http://forums.whyweprotest.net/threads/uk-superinjunction-ryan-giggs-imogen-thomas.79573/
If Alan Shearer has one I'd be very surprised! No idea where this info is coming from though. These injunctions are retarded.

FelixMeOneMoreTime
May 11, 2010

A5H posted:

So does anyone know who the super injunction guy they mentioned on hignfy is?
Do internet people go to jail for saying it? Or just media types?

From what I've seen on various places on the internet, the footballer has a name that is the plural of the first syllable of Quagmire from Family Guy's catchphrase. I honestly don't know if I'm allowed to type it or anything, so I don't want to risk it.

EDIT: Page wasn't refreshed so I didn't see the post before me.

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

ShaneMacGowansTeeth posted:

you are talking about Hollyoaks, whose highpoint was a madcap scheme to kill people was dumping them in a wave tank for what seemed like 5 straight episodes, and make it look like they were in the sea. And it didn't work.

I dunno. The lesbian parachute sabotage or the long lost son kidnapping his family and blowing them up inside a church were pretty good murder ideas.

I miss the days of Ruth and the clumsily dealt with domestic violence scenes.

Flatscan
Mar 27, 2001

Outlaw Journalist

What a bunch of twats you are. It's Ryan Giggs. I'm not a media outlet so they can't do poo poo to me, or any of you unless you happen to own a loving newspaper.

eleven extra elephants
Feb 16, 2007

Menschliches! Allzumenschliches!!

Flatscan posted:

What a bunch of twats you are. It's Ryan Giggs. I'm not a media outlet so they can't do poo poo to me, or any of you unless you happen to own a loving newspaper.

Look at this maverick, saying names on the internet.

sebzilla
Mar 17, 2009

Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.


It's me I'm the injunction guy and had sex with a woman.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
It's a secret so that his children won't suffer. Or at least the claims are that almost everyone getting a superinjunction recently has done so "for the kids".

Not sure why they would suffer particularly more than any other kids with a cheating father, at least their daddy is mega rich and a hero to tens of millions around the world. Unless he was accused of loving a horse that Alex Ferguson had let him borrow or something.

Kin
Nov 4, 2003

Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.

goatface posted:

It's a secret so that his children won't suffer. Or at least the claims are that almost everyone getting a superinjunction recently has done so "for the kids".

Not sure why they would suffer particularly more than any other kids with a cheating father, at least their daddy is mega rich and a hero to tens of millions around the world. Unless he was accused of loving a horse that Alex Ferguson had let him borrow or something.

See, that's why i would contest the whole thing. Giggs has done this simply to preserve his image which is tied to his sponsorships and everything else. Footballer's are already paid far too much money and one of the implied drawbacks of this is that they must maintain a clean image. Now even that isn't a problem any more as they can supposedly use the obscene volumes of money they're given to essentially cover up any actions they do that will tarnish that image and put them in bad standings at their jobs.

TheVertigoOfBliss
Jan 29, 2007

Kin posted:

First it was that mastercheff style show based on people fighting it out to be a loving waiter, now it's a documentary on some kind of swanky restaraunt in the middle of a prison, staffed completely by prisoners.

Is this the BBC's attempt to portray "big society"?

FFS, did you actually watch this?

It was a work scheme in a prison attempting to help the prisoners gain some skills and actual qualifications to help them when they get out. Which they are doing.

The gently caress is the problem with that? Oh god forbid they have to work making food for some posh people clearly the are going to be much more employable be made to clean the loving toilets.

The guy running it seemed like a really good guy who actually gave a gently caress about what he was doing.

sebzilla
Mar 17, 2009

Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.


Hot drat, a new Giles Coren and Sue Perkins show.

Probably the only Royal Wedding thing remotely worth watching.

e: Although it's not a patch on them getting pissed, eating too much and throwing up everywhere.

sebzilla fucked around with this message at 02:51 on Apr 28, 2011

7seven7
May 19, 2006

I barfed because you looked in my eyes!
Forgive me for this really mundane request, but on Friday I'm going on a long journey with some friends and everybody gets an hour on the radio to listen to whatever they want and I'd like to take this opportunity to finally introduce my friends to Adam & Joe. I've got both of all the XFM and 6 Music podcasts on my phone. What episode numbers would you recommend to sucker them in?

Ponce de Le0n
Jul 6, 2008

Father jailed for beating 3 kids after they wouldn't say who farted in his car
Can Someone with the full sky package do a trip report for me and go watch The Pub Channel for a bit and report back about what its like. Its intriguing me sitting there, I would like tips on how to run my own pub but don't want to pay out to get the channel in. Thanks.

its SKY channel 846 by the way.

godspeed.

FelixMeOneMoreTime
May 11, 2010

7seven7 posted:

Forgive me for this really mundane request, but on Friday I'm going on a long journey with some friends and everybody gets an hour on the radio to listen to whatever they want and I'd like to take this opportunity to finally introduce my friends to Adam & Joe. I've got both of all the XFM and 6 Music podcasts on my phone. What episode numbers would you recommend to sucker them in?

XFM Podcasts 6, 7, and 18 are my favourites. Particularly the football chants in 7 and their version of Rudebox in 18.

ZoDiAC_
Jun 23, 2003

So was Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle actually on last night?

Edit: wait, starts 4th may

ZoDiAC_ fucked around with this message at 08:47 on Apr 28, 2011

Brown Moses
Feb 22, 2002

It's on next week. He wrote this for the Guardian today, worth a read:

quote:

The selection of Kate Middleton, a lowly commoner drawn from the very dregs of society, as Prince William's bride has been the subject of great speculation, much of it thinly veiled snobbery. But Britain is broken. Social mobility is at a historic low, state education and public healthcare are in crisis, and our own prime minister has blamed the truculent immigrant and his concealed wife for our lack of national cohesion. Once upon a time, royal marriages were political acts that forged links between different nations. Instead, William and Kate's wedding will bind this nation to itself, and in marrying so very far beneath himself, I believe the young prince has made a heroic and deliberate sacrifice to achieve this end.

Pause for a moment. Imagine being Prince William. Imagine knowing that the best justification most rational people could come up with for your heavily subsidised existence was that you were a symbolic figure. And symbolic of what, the boy must wonder. History? The land? The nation itself? A notion of refined nobility? Grace under pressure? Or perhaps some abstract idea of temporal continuity? Unable to escape being a symbolic figure, the prince's recent activities suggest he has chosen instead to embrace the role in the most profound way imaginable. And, I believe, this is why the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton itself seems symbolic on an admirable and unprecedented level.

Jessie L Weston's 1920 study of Holy Grail mythology, From Ritual to Romance, pictures Britain as a wasteland, an image appropriated by TS Eliot to describe the aftermath of the first world war. The Fisher King must search the devastated terrain for the Holy Grail, and drink from it to heal the land. Broken Britain is that wasted land. William is that Fisher King. Kate Middleton is that lovely grail, full not of the blood of the crucified Christ, but of the blood of the Middletons, who run a children's partyware business in Berkshire. And Kate's wedding to wise William is a ritual that may help to fix what David Cameron's vision of the Big Society so far has not. For in choosing Kate, a simple girl from a school near Swindon, as his bride, William is in fact taking each and every British subject – man, woman, old, young, black, white, Christian and Muslim – into his royal bed, and binding us all to each other in the white heat of his princely passion.

Kate was educated at Marlborough College in Wiltshire. It is a private school, yes, but it is no Eton, and its most famous alumni are little more than flannelled fools: the comedian Jack Whitehall, the children's author Lauren Child, and the pop musician Chris de Burgh, whose 1976 Christmas hit A Spaceman Came Travelling describes an alien being's disappointment in the shortcomings of human society – disappointments it appears William shares, and is trying to address in his own esoteric way. But his motives for plucking a bride from such an inauspicious establishment are, I believe, twofold, and we must admire and accept the occult reasoning behind his selfless choice.

First of all, Marlborough College, where Kate Middleton flushed into womanhood, is set in a magical landscape that has been declared a world heritage site, being only five miles from the exact centre of the Avebury stone circle. Perhaps Kate's growing body absorbed the magical energies of the region. Perhaps it did not. It does not matter. She is from, and she is of, the ancient wetland. The arrangement of the 6,000-year-old circle, and the stone rows, burial chambers and mounds that surround it, is explicitly symbolic, explicitly sexual and explicitly ritualistic, and as such it shares the same transformative agenda as Friday's royal wedding.

In Avebury, the West Kennet Avenue, a long row of erotically paired stones, uncoils snake-like from the circle, as if to penetrate nearby Silbury Hill, a fecund 37-metre-high female belly, which rises from the marsh to meet it. The prince has taken his lowly bride from within this charged landscape, where our ancestors celebrated the union of man and woman in stone and earth, and began the communal processes that forged a nation from their descendents, the broken nation that William the Fisher King must now heal. Our shaman-prince could not have chosen a better receptacle for his magical purposes than Kate Middleton, a peasant-spawned serf-girl, sodden with the primordial mire of the Swindon-shadowed swamplands.

Secondly, in choosing a commoner for his bride, William gives hope to millions of socially disenfranchised Britons. Only two Tory generations ago, the prime minister Margaret Thatcher was proud to proclaim herself "a grocer's daughter". A mere 20 years since she passed power on to John Major, a garden gnome salesman with six O-levels, it is impossible to imagine either in government today, composed, as it is, principally of former members of the elite Oxford vomiting society the Bullingdon Club. The state-schools system is stretched to the limit; the withdrawal of further education grants deters poorer students; and government contributions to the Bookstart scheme, which gives books to children who might otherwise have none, have been halved. It is not possible to imagine a Thatcher ever getting out of Lincolnshire today, let alone becoming prime minister.

But in snatching Kate from the gutter, William stooped even lower than he would have done had he chosen Margaret Thatcher for his bride. Kate's parents aren't even grocers. They sell novelty hats and paper plates. It's no coincidence that as genuine social mobility in broken Britain is eroded, so commoners turn to the National Lottery, The X Factor and Britain's Got Talent. Winning them represents the only chance real people have to change their circumstances significantly. It could be you. And, like some giant illuminated penis flying over the rooftops of suburban homes and frothing at random passing women, William has pointed himself at Kate Middleton, the Susan Boyle of social mobility. In declaring her his princess, he brings hope of real change to millions of people denied a decent education and the means to better themselves, to millions of tiny babies denied even books, that one day they too could be randomly rewarded with untold wealth and privilege.

The wedding of my wife and I was a small affair, with 40 or so guests. We were not required to arrange our day along magical or symbolic lines, though admittedly some aspects of the Catholic wedding ceremony confused me, and my wife is yet to explain the tradition whereby I have been obliged ever since to sleep alone each night on the toilet. But as a symbolic figure, poor Prince William's wedding is hostage to political expediency. Consider the faces he will see as he and Kate make their solemn vows.

From the world of government, the prime minister and Mrs David Cameron, and the deputy prime minister and Ms Miriam González Durántez, holding whichever suit the prime minister has chosen not to wear; from the faith communities, the Reverend Gregorius, Anil Bhanot, Malcolm Deeboo of the Zoroastrians, The Venerable Bogoda Seelawimala Nayaka Thera, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Optimus Prime, Yog-Sothoth, Captain Marvel and Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor; and from the twin spheres of entertainment and sport, Mr Ben Fogle, Mr David Beckham and Mrs David Beckham, Mr Madonna Louise Ciccone, and Sir Elton Hercules John and Mr Sir Elton Hercules John. Candles in the wind all.

But as he gazes at this golden shower of dignitaries, it is William who will have the last guffaw. He knows that this was not so much a wedding as a psychic rescue operation, a healing ritual for broken Britain, a pantomime of hope for the terminally hopeless. In taking Kate Middleton as his bride, Prince William, more than anyone in any position of power in Britain today, has tried at least to do something to help. I hope sincerely that both of them are very happy.

hookerbot 5000
Dec 21, 2009
According to google Ryan Giggs was the footballer, David Threlfall was the TV star (he had an affair with Mrs Doyle then got her sacked), Hugh Bonneville or Euan MacGregor was the internationally known film star.

Kin
Nov 4, 2003

Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.

TheVertigoOfBliss posted:

FFS, did you actually watch this?

It was a work scheme in a prison attempting to help the prisoners gain some skills and actual qualifications to help them when they get out. Which they are doing.

The gently caress is the problem with that? Oh god forbid they have to work making food for some posh people clearly the are going to be much more employable be made to clean the loving toilets.

The guy running it seemed like a really good guy who actually gave a gently caress about what he was doing.

Welcome to Something Awful. :rolleyes:

Kin fucked around with this message at 11:18 on Apr 28, 2011

Metrication
Dec 12, 2010

Raskin had one problem: Jobs regarded him as an insufferable theorist or, to use Jobs's own more precise terminology, "a shithead who sucks".
This was a while ago but did anyone watch the last episode of White Van Man? I thought it was a pretty poor ending, a really half hearted cliff hanger.

The Perfect Element
Dec 5, 2005
"This is a bit of a... a poof song"

John_Anon_Smith posted:

Roughly what time were you guys on at into the show?

We were the second song, so about... ten minutes in, maybe less?

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Brainwrong
Mar 20, 2004

RIP Bobby K
Poland's Rose. Like a cabbage in the wind.
Good old Charlie Brooker. He's got #donaldtrumpisabellend as the top trend on Twitter today.

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