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The Pussy Boss
Nov 2, 2004

Arctic Baldwin posted:

It doesn't matter that Lightly is black. It's still a vaguely racist comment. More ethnocentric or minutely xenophobic or something.

It's hard to believe that Weird Foreign People Names are still considered hilarious in 2011. The loving President has an African name.

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Rousimar Pauladeen
Feb 27, 2007

I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA

stuart scott irl posted:

His book "How We Decide" was pretty good IMO, but if you didn't like his articles I'm not sure how much it would appeal to you.


edit: Wyers can be really unnecessarily abrasive on Twitter, but his takedown of that lovely Lehrer article is not to be missed

It took me until this post to remember that Jonah Lehrer is not Jonah Keri.

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

I mix them up all the time.

AlleyViper
Sep 15, 2007

Oh, there's plenty of other balls in the sea. Plus, you're not very talented.

leokitty posted:

Ugh don't give John Harper pageviews, traffic bumps are a good thing for him and the NYDN.

That image is taken from HBT so it's just giving NBC Sports page views if anything.

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

Having Prince as DH would be pretty amazing, and the Yankees have "gently caress you" money and it's not like he is a bad investment. I guess that guy probably had stupid reasons in mind though.

Rousimar Pauladeen
Feb 27, 2007

I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA

stuart scott irl posted:

Having Prince as DH would be pretty amazing, and the Yankees have "gently caress you" money and it's not like he is a bad investment. I guess that guy probably had stupid reasons in mind though.

The worst columnists are trade speculators. "All the Mariners have to do is package Jack Wilson, Mike Carp and a box of fungo bats all for Albert Pujols. DO YOUR loving JOB JACK Z!"

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.

AlleyViper posted:

That image is taken from HBT so it's just giving NBC Sports page views if anything.

The link goes to the NYDN.com article.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Captain Charisma posted:

I'm laughing my rear end off at the concept of a "sinister Scrabble game"

It's sinister because it has negroes.

e: Also, I feel like Yankees FA speculation is even worse than trade speculation. "If I'm the Yankees, I sign [every good player]. Just think about how great they'd be with [every good player] on their roster!"

Mornacale fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Jun 29, 2011

Rousimar Pauladeen
Feb 27, 2007

I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA

Mornacale posted:

It's sinister because it has negroes.

e: Also, I feel like Yankees FA speculation is even worse than trade speculation. "If I'm the Yankees, I sign [every good player]. Just think about how great they'd be with [every good player] on their roster!"
http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/yankees-ensure-2003-pennant-by-signing-every-playe,32/

quote:

NEW YORK—With a week to go before pitchers and catchers report for spring training, the New York Yankees shored up their pitching, hitting, and defense Monday by signing every player in professional baseball.



Some of the New York Yankees' newest additions are introduced to the press.

"We'd like to welcome the entire roster of Major League Baseball into the Yankees family," said team owner George Steinbrenner, watching as the franchise's 928 newest additions held up their pinstripes at a Yankee Stadium press conference. "With these acquisitions, we are in position to finally nab that elusive 27th World Series title."


Sports reporters were not surprised by the move.


"This is not entirely unexpected," New York Times baseball writer Murray Chass said. "When the Yankees followed up their signing of Japanese slugger Hideki 'Godzilla' Matsui by annexing Cuba for use as a Triple-A farm club, it was clear that Steinbrenner was willing to do whatever it takes to win."


By noon, Yankees GM Brian Cashman had signed the entire National League and most of the American League to multi-year contracts. Some 10 hours later, the final opposing player, Texas Rangers shortstop Alex Rodriguez, had been acquired by the Yankees, who bought out the remainder of his $252 million contract for $300 million.


"It's an honor to be part of this team," said catcher Benito Santiago, picked up from the San Francisco Giants as insurance in case catchers Jorge Posada, Ivan Rodriguez, and Mike Piazza all go down with injuries. "It's a surprise, certainly, but I'd be crazy to turn down the opportunity to play on what is, by default, the greatest team in baseball."


Yankees manager Joe Torre, whose pitching rotation, prior to the mass signing, lacked a clear seventh ace, now has the luxury of starting each of his hurlers twice a season.


"As they say, you can never have enough pitching in this league," Torre said. "Especially come playoff time. Now, if we make it to the World Series, we'll be able to start Pedro Martinez in Game 1 and still have him fresh and ready to go for a Game 287, should it be necessary."


With so many egos to juggle and so many personnel decisions to make, Torre said his job will actually be harder this season, the lack of opposing players notwithstanding.


"Hey, I don't care who you've got on your team; winning in this league is tough—Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, and Randy Johnson or no Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, and Randy Johnson," Torre said. "And it's even tougher in New York. This is a baseball town, and some of these fans think the Yankees are the only team in baseball. Now that we truly are, the pressure to win will be that much greater."


The mass signing, extravagant even by Yankees standards, caused the Bronx Bombers' payroll to skyrocket from a former league high of $149 million to $5.6 billion. Cashman noted that much of that figure is tied up in bonuses to be paid out to pitcher Tom Glavine, who at 37 will almost certainly not play out the entirety of his 15-year contract.


Baseball commissioner Bud Selig approved the signing, noting that the other 29 major-league teams received ample financial compensation.


"I see no reason why a small-market team like the Twins or Expos can't continue to remain competitive, just because it lacks players," Selig said. "The league was due for contraction, anyway."

MC_
Sep 11, 2003

stuart scott irl posted:

Having Prince as DH would be pretty amazing, and the Yankees have "gently caress you" money and it's not like he is a bad investment. I guess that guy probably had stupid reasons in mind though.


:twisted:

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
The worst photoshop

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.
I wish they had taken a stab at photoshopping off the forbidden facial hair

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Which is more sinister: an athlete with clicking sound names, or the way Marcus Thames pronounces his last name?

(I don't think the "clicking sound" thing is racist, though it's certainly stupid as hell. It seems most like people bitching about hockey drafts in the 90s because their team had a quota on people whose last name ended in "-ov".)

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

FairGame posted:

Which is more sinister: an athlete with clicking sound names, or the way Marcus Thames pronounces his last name?

How does he pronounce it since I'm an idiot and can't remember hearing it? My first reaction would be like the river, second would be like it's spelled. What's the right way?

MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER
Marcus Thames is like the river, but Eric Thames is apparently Thaymes which is stupid

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Grittybeard posted:

How does he pronounce it since I'm an idiot and can't remember hearing it? My first reaction would be like the river, second would be like it's spelled. What's the right way?

As Pickle said, it's like the river. Some crap writer (I think Leokitty posted it earlier in this thread) wrote a whole article bashing Thames, "if that is his real name"

arkmedes
Jun 24, 2009
Don't know if Sportscenter really even counts as sports journalism anymore, but there was an absurd graphic on SC this morning comparing the Red Sox team BA, hits, runs, etc. in NL stadiums (5 games) versus the rest of their season (74 games). ESPN's conclusion: not having a DH accounts for a huge drop in numbers across the board! Nevermind the fact that we are comparing 5 games to 74 games, or that there is no mention of the quality of pitchers they were facing, or that they didn't even include home vs. away splits for AL teams. Not having a DH certainly doesn't help AL teams, but they made it seem like Big Papi alone was accountable for 3+ runs and .100 average per game.

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

I live. I die. I live again.
TJ Simers decided to write a hit piece on Marcus Thames of all people and one of the things that he decided was absolutely horrible about Marcus is how he pronounces his name. Which is stupid but also hilarious because it's like buuhhh the River Thames you idiot??

It was really bad and as limited a player as Thames is he is a wonderful dude with a great story, writing a hit piece about him was just :confused: to the nth degree.

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?
Deadspin actually did a good thing and wrote up a piece on how sports teams cook their books to look like they're losing money.

http://deadspin.com/5816870/

Ribsauce
Jul 29, 2006

Blacks in the back.

Groucho Marxist posted:

Deadspin actually did a good thing and wrote up a piece on how sports teams cook their books to look like they're losing money.

http://deadspin.com/5816870/
I still don't get the "losses on players contracts" line item. I get that somehow it is apparently a tax purpose loss, but why would it be on their GAAP financials? I skimmed the entire financial statement and did not see an explaining note. If that is just a paper loss like depreciation expense why is it not added back on the cash flow statement? Maybe I am missing something obvious, I don't know, but the explanation seems lacking to me. I only looked at it a few minutes so I could have missed something as well.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

arkmedes posted:

Don't know if Sportscenter really even counts as sports journalism anymore, but there was an absurd graphic on SC this morning comparing the Red Sox team BA, hits, runs, etc. in NL stadiums (5 games) versus the rest of their season (74 games). ESPN's conclusion: not having a DH accounts for a huge drop in numbers across the board! Nevermind the fact that we are comparing 5 games to 74 games, or that there is no mention of the quality of pitchers they were facing, or that they didn't even include home vs. away splits for AL teams. Not having a DH certainly doesn't help AL teams, but they made it seem like Big Papi alone was accountable for 3+ runs and .100 average per game.

Three of those NL games were against the Pirates, so they weren't exactly facing top-level pitching (though James McDonald did pitch well against them, and he is capable of being p good).

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Crazy Ted posted:

This loving beauty from the Indianapolis Star:

got dang furriners in our en bee ay

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

leokitty posted:

TJ Simers decided to write a hit piece on Marcus Thames of all people and one of the things that he decided was absolutely horrible about Marcus is how he pronounces his name. Which is stupid but also hilarious because it's like buuhhh the River Thames you idiot??

It was really bad and as limited a player as Thames is he is a wonderful dude with a great story, writing a hit piece about him was just :confused: to the nth degree.

that hit piece was probably one of the most specifically disgusting not-even-funny-in-an-over-the-top-way piece of "journalism" in this thread

swimgus
Oct 24, 2005
Camlin bought me this account because I'm a Jew!
Rick Reilly is a mystery to me, guys. It says on ESPN.com that he is 11 times the National Sportswriter of the Year, but he is a terrible terrible columnist. I've read quite a few of his articles in my life, and never have I ever come away from one thinking that he is an intelligent, thoughtful human being. In fact, about 97% of the time, I come away convinced that he doesn't have a brain at all.

His current column consists of witty retorts to incorrect answers to poorly written sports questions on WikiAnswers. It's the laziest pos "column" I've ever seen. Most posts in FYAD have more content than Rick Reilly's latest.

How does this guy get paid?

BackInTheUSSR
Jun 22, 2004

1.5 HR/9
ACE
Reilly was a very good long-form feature writer back in the 80s for SI.

Stuff like this makes you look at stuff he does now and just cringe.

And he was creative and did stories like this. He was innovative before Bill Simmons innovated new sports writing, for better or for worse. Reilly inspired a lot of prose-ridden hacks like Plaschke, and Simmons inspired BleacherReport.

BackInTheUSSR fucked around with this message at 07:25 on Jul 1, 2011

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
He also wrote this which pretty much wrapped things up for Marge Schott.

Nut Bunnies
May 24, 2005

Fun Shoe
He still had that Rick Reilly Touch even back then

quote:

Sending Schott to sensitivity training is like sending a pickpocket to a Rolex convention

:pwn:

barkingclam
Jun 20, 2007
Yeah, Reilly used to write some great stuff. I've always liked his piece on Bryant Gumbel, it's a great profile where Gumbel comes off as both talented and an rear end in a top hat and he lets Gumbel say it for him.

quote:

The only problem with perfection is that when you get there, there's nobody to talk to. "I have high expectations of people," (Gumbel) says. "When they achieve something, I say, 'So what?' "

People aren't good enough.

One morning, a presidential speech at the U.N. ended five minutes early. Connie Chung, the NBC newswoman, was anchoring the network desk with Gumbel. Producer Steve Friedman asked her off the air to remain on camera and help Gumbel kill time. She refused, saying she wasn't prepared. Gumbel killed the time himself, but he hasn't spoken to Chung since. "She acted in an unprofessional manner, so I disassociated myself from her," Gumbel says. "If it was an isolated incident, I'd forget about it. But it's not." Chung says she doesn't want to talk about it.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


I don't know, I've started those pieces and he gets into a bunch of his awful hackneyed similes and I can't get through them. Reilly is completely worthless. I think that Reilly benefited from a relative lack of decent writing about sports and his inspirational/shame on you/dad humor somehow convinced people that he was a good writer.

arkmedes
Jun 24, 2009

R.D. Mangles posted:

I don't know, I've started those pieces and he gets into a bunch of his awful hackneyed similes and I can't get through them. Reilly is completely worthless. I think that Reilly benefited from a relative lack of decent writing about sports and his inspirational/shame on you/dad humor somehow convinced people that he was a good writer.

"He [Jimmer] committed six turnovers and wandered aimlessly through the lane on defense like Moses in the desert. I've seen dead people play better defense."

Don't you get it? It's a religious reference! Because Jimmer's a Mormon!

That hit piece on Jimmer really was in it's own stratosphere of atrocious sportswriting. Reading through it again...all of it is just terrible.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


Also, this mock Reilly column is pretty spot on.

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

R.D. Mangles posted:

I think that Reilly benefited from a relative lack of decent writing about sports and his inspirational/shame on you/dad humor somehow convinced people that he was a good writer.

I don't really read much SI but my dad has a description and my memories of Reilly are mostly about how he wrote a bunch of hit pieces on Bonds. So gently caress Rick Reilly, basically.

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming

R.D. Mangles posted:

Also, this mock Reilly column is pretty spot on.

In a similar vein, the Fake Reilly Twitter was great while it lasted.

BackInTheUSSR
Jun 22, 2004

1.5 HR/9
ACE

R.D. Mangles posted:

I don't know, I've started those pieces and he gets into a bunch of his awful hackneyed similes and I can't get through them. Reilly is completely worthless. I think that Reilly benefited from a relative lack of decent writing about sports and his inspirational/shame on you/dad humor somehow convinced people that he was a good writer.

What's so bad about similes? He overuses them now and they're part of his schtick but in the pieces we linked to they're fine. I think you're getting too angry over nothing.

That Marge Schott story - which I had no idea existed, holy poo poo she was nuts - was well researched, extremely well sourced and had good bookends. That simile about the Rolex convention was really enough to convince you he's worthless? It's a literary device. I don't mean to get all "GET OUT OF YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT, NERD," but a lot of people like their writers to include color in their stories, rather than fact - quote - fact - quote.

LARGE THE HEAD
Sep 1, 2009

"Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden
I found a Tommy Craggs piece on former HS phenom and Mississippi State player Renardo Sidney from an old issue of New York Times' Play magazine. God, I wish that still existed.



BackInTheUSSR posted:

What's so bad about similes? He overuses them now and they're part of his schtick but in the pieces we linked to they're fine. I think you're getting too angry over nothing.

That Marge Schott story - which I had no idea existed, holy poo poo she was nuts - was well researched, extremely well sourced and had good bookends. That simile about the Rolex convention was really enough to convince you he's worthless? It's a literary device. I don't mean to get all "GET OUT OF YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT, NERD," but a lot of people like their writers to include color in their stories, rather than fact - quote - fact - quote.

Look at this true post.

purkey
Dec 5, 2003

I hate the 90s

It's a pretty bad simile, but I've always liked that article anyway .

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


BackInTheUSSR posted:

What's so bad about similes? He overuses them now and they're part of his schtick but in the pieces we linked to they're fine. I think you're getting too angry over nothing.

That Marge Schott story - which I had no idea existed, holy poo poo she was nuts - was well researched, extremely well sourced and had good bookends. That simile about the Rolex convention was really enough to convince you he's worthless? It's a literary device. I don't mean to get all "GET OUT OF YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT, NERD," but a lot of people like their writers to include color in their stories, rather than fact - quote - fact - quote.

I admit, I can't stand Reilly, but I don't think I'm getting too angry over nothing. You see, we didn't have much in the village where I grew up, just a couple of rocks and maybe a turnip came out every now and then, and that's when Rick Reilly came by. He dazzled us with his similes and his metaphors and his references to teeth; like I said, we didn't have much, maybe a couple of mixed metaphors, and sometimes an assonance because we didn't always have all of our vowels. He did tricks with his top hat. My paw and the other old folk, they didn't trust that Reilly, only respected a man who could come to town with a strong back or maybe some fighting insects for us to bet on. But he sure took me in. He told us, the young folk, to take what we could and go with him, and we followed him like moths to a flame convention.

And those first few days, I'd never seen nothing like it. There were likes and thans and wine and women and more wine in every hamlet to the county line, everywhere picking up more folks who threw down their plows and sold their donkeys and got on the train. But those days didn't last. The Reilly of the toothy grin, quick with the compliment for an old lady or to pull a coin from a youngster's ear became a taskmaster. We worked hard in those simile mines and the first few I presented were greeted with a backhand and the business end of a gruel bowl. Bobby was the first to go when he was crushed beneath a run-on sentence. Little Zeke fell off the precipice of a terse, one-sentence paragraph. And Reilly only smiled through clenched teeth when Frank Deford ran Gabby Joe through with a sword cane at a Sports Illustrated golf retreat.

Reilly's heart, we learned, was like a Scandinavian gnome village-- small, and probably non-existent.

I made my break the next full moon. Reilly was inspecting his National Sportswriter of the Year Awards to make sure they weren't scuffed-- it was Wednesday, so he was looking at numbers four through seven with a jeweler's eye, and we knew if he found a nick he'd be using the brass knuckles. Our tents were guarded by a man who was born with no arms who had learned to fire a rifle with his feet ("Who needs arms to be armed?" Reilly used to say), and a dozen of us and ran and ran as the rifle cracked and the slowest fell one by one.

The town was deserted when I got back. The single turnip lay festering in the sun. The rest of the county had been hit hard, like it had been cleared by a biblical plague, but we all knew it was the work of Rick Reilly, who had taken us for everything we had. I made my way across the country, sleeping where I could in alleys or in someone's mother's basement, forever cursing the name Rick Reilly, forever enraged on the Internet by sportswriting.

BackInTheUSSR
Jun 22, 2004

1.5 HR/9
ACE
well then I guess there is that.

The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.
needs more similes and metaphors

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swimgus
Oct 24, 2005
Camlin bought me this account because I'm a Jew!

Rick Reilly posted:

Sending Schott to sensitivity training is like sending a pickpocket to a Rolex convention

That simile is as bad as stepping on a stingray, but the rest of that article was decent. I'm not even sure what the purpose of that simile was. Is it that it was a bad idea to send Marge to sensitivity training? Because he could have done a lot better than that abortion of a sentence.

I guess Rick Reilly was okay before my time. Presently, though, he's one of the worst columnists I can readily think of.

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