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  THIS THREAD CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ALL BOOKS IN THE A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE SERIES WILD CARDS Goons are writing parodies of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series and E. L. Jame's Fifty Shades of Grey
 Spoilers A Dance with Dragons has been published. This is the latest, long-awaited book in the series that goons have been pining for since 2005. So, since none of us care for spoiler tags, it is best if you go to the spoiler-free thread until you've read it. If you haven't read it yet, chances are that discussion in this thread will literally and unironically ruin your life. Do you want to continue making rape and lemoncake jokes? Because you sure as hell can't in this thread! This is no longer the bad thread, it's called "the bland thread". So don't go too far. This thread is intended to be an actual book discussion rather than a FYAD-lite dump-ground of useless posts. Here's why if you want to know. The rules still apply. Please use your shift key in order to make coherent post, no empty-quoting, and try to make at least one funny comment or useful statement in your post. Bonus points if you add images.  IRC Channel You may by all means join the IRC channel #thebadthread on irc.synric.net, or click here for instant access, in order to continue the FYAD-lite stuff.  A Song of Ice and Fire
  Thanks to Kylaer for posting this. This is for historical purposes.
And that brings us here to the bland thread.  You can also discuss the HBO series in this thread. Season 3 of the series premiered on March 31st, 2013. Episodes return next March, 2014. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzI9v_B4sxw&hd=1 Stay Safe fucked around with this message at 21:55 on Jul 9, 2014 |
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Jul 3, 2011 06:53
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Parodies These are goon-written parodies of A Song of Ice and Fire.
Video Game A new Game of Thrones game has been released. Click here  to visit the official Steam store page for Game of Thrones - Genesis.Music  - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by IRQ  - by Tony Danza Claus, his own lyrics  - by Abnegatus, his own lyrics  - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by kcroy  - by mjs6643, his own lyrics  - by Kylaer, his own lyrics  - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Contra Calculus  - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by...I forget who!  - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Bhaal Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G6QyXl6d2M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lz3lAd2nGQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTTW8M_etko https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYhX75yB0fc Images                     (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) Stay Safe fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jul 9, 2014 |
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Jul 3, 2011 07:18
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You should edit the OP. It still says Dance is never coming out. Winds of Winter is never coming out.
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Jul 3, 2011 07:24
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You have to wonder if the actors ever read what's coming up and are just totally horrified- like all the rumors about the world of poo poo Theon's in for poor Alfie. Hope they like prosthetic noses, etc.! It says something when Ned Stark gets out pretty drat good comparatively by being beheaded. I don't know what exactly, but something.
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Jul 3, 2011 07:34
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A small faq: Q: I want to chat live with horrible people on IRC where do I go? A: Go to irc.synirc.net #thebadthread Q: What, how? I don't understand this IRC thing. A: Click here for instant access.
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Jul 3, 2011 08:36
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Well this is Mk. 6 (7?) of the bad thread. Hopefully it will make it past 45 posts this time. Just seems like ever since the TV show came out everything has gotten worse and worse. Its like the TVIV stupidity has soaked into TBB.
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Jul 3, 2011 08:41
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These threads are highly entertaining lately almost as good as reading the books which I just finished for the first time. Oh and I read all the spoilers in the bad thread 4 and they didn't ruin the books for me.
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Jul 3, 2011 10:22
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Really?
Duel fucked around with this message at 12:40 on Aug 3, 2011 |
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Jul 3, 2011 11:30
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Follow by example? Anyway, RIP Bad Thread. Hello....um, whatever the hell this is.
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Jul 3, 2011 13:57
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Duel posted:stupid poo poo Was this really needed to be posted again? It was funny the first time but come on. On another note, a picture of mine ended up in the OP!
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Jul 3, 2011 14:24
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Yeah, don't post that poo poo anymore. It's getting really loving stupid and old. I'd rather we get to at least three pages this time. Anyways, here's Kylaer's history post in my thread that got gassed: Kylaer posted:The original GRRMASOIAF thread. 26 pages, spanning November 15th 2006 to February 13th 2007. Oh how the times have changed since then. There was no hatred, no rage against the GRRM - there was genuine book discussion, and everything was exciting and new. It was eventually closed by a moderator because the thread's creator had vanished, paving the way for... Here is the gassed Bad Thread V which I created yesterday that lasted two pages and should serve as an example of what not to do on the first page. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 15:15 on Jul 3, 2011 |
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Jul 3, 2011 14:54
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) didn't like this and closed the thread instead, leaving the torch to be picked up by IRQ, in...
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Contra Calculus posted:Here is the gassed Bad Thread V which I created yesterday that lasted two pages and should serve as an example of what not to do on the first page.
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Jul 3, 2011 16:21
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I'll come back and link to all of our wonderful songs later today. I'm still not contributing beyond that though because I fear DwD spoilers! I love and miss you all.
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Jul 3, 2011 16:35
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- by my cat is norris, with lyrics by IRQ - by Tony Danza Claus, his own lyrics - by Abnegatus, his own lyrics - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by kcroy - by mjs6643, his own lyrics - by Kylaer, his own lyrics - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Contra Calculus - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by...I forget who! - by my cat is norris, with lyrics by Bhaal And that's it. I think. Now GOODBYE, I don't want your book spoilers right now!
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Jul 3, 2011 16:55
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Added IRC information and music from my cat is norris to the OP in order to preserve it forever and ever until eternity. Thanks MCIN, and see you after you're done with Dragons!
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Jul 3, 2011 17:03
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I like reading the originals in English, but in Fire and Ice, the translation into Spanish is so amazing that I will read only that. It's so well done that I'll stick to it. And that's coming from a professional translator.
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Jul 3, 2011 19:34
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KidDynamite posted:These threads are highly entertaining lately almost as good as reading the books which I just finished for the first time. Oh and I read all the spoilers in the bad thread 4 and they didn't ruin the books for me. But, but, but, spoilers! You should have thrown a fit and cried to the mods because your life is over! Or maybe you're just well adjusted? No, that couldn't possibly be. I'm chewing through these books, they're pretty good. I'm still gonna watch the show, because experiencing something isn't the same as knowing about it. I do not fear knowledge, I am not an anti-intellectual. Jenova Project fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Jul 3, 2011 |
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Jul 3, 2011 20:57
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whowhatwhere posted:Follow by example? this is the 'post here to get probation' thread.
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Jul 3, 2011 23:13
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Wow, I knew the ADWD early release would send early spoilers and ramp up the Bad Thread, but I didn't think it'd get this bad. I only even checked this because this is what? The second Bad thread in a few days. That said I'm going to check out of here until I finish ADWD. I was already told that Arya goes blind thanks to this thread, and while I'm sure nothing important will happen in ADWD I'd still like to be surprised the way I was when Robb's head was cut off by Walder Frey's men. MILD CARDS BITCHES
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Jul 3, 2011 23:50
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mind the walrus posted:Wow, I knew the ADWD early release would send early spoilers and ramp up the Bad Thread, but I didn't think it'd get this bad. Well the threads didn't get bad because of ADWD spoilers, mostly because nothing happens in ADWD.
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Jul 3, 2011 23:53
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Proposition Joe posted:Well the threads didn't get bad because of ADWD spoilers, mostly because nothing happens in ADWD. Well thats not totally true. We know that Bran sacrifices Hodor and the Reeds to get more warg power and he actually meets one of the Children. Thats a pretty big reveal to be honest. The big problem is that his whole thing for the last 6 years was how to get Dany relevant to the story and he managed to get her even further away by the end of ADWD. She is now back in Dothraki territory where she started off loving 16 years ago. Out of curiosity, how many have actually received the book early? Was it like everyone that ordered it from the German Amazon or was it just a select few? Seems like there were a few in the old bad thread who had just got it, but I haven't seen any of them posting in here yet. Probably out of fear since these threads have been probation bait for the last week.
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Jul 4, 2011 03:39
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Solice Kirsk posted:Well thats not totally true. We know that Bran sacrifices Hodor and the Reeds to get more warg power and he actually meets one of the Children. Thats a pretty big reveal to be honest. The big problem is that his whole thing for the last 6 years was how to get Dany relevant to the story and he managed to get her even further away by the end of ADWD. She is now back in Dothraki territory where she started off loving 16 years ago. Regardless of whether or not she's in Dothraki territory, she's there riding a full-grown dragon and that's a pretty significant development. As far as the leak goes, I think it's more than 180, given that Amazon Japan started selling copies, as well as brick&mortar bookstores in Germany.
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Jul 4, 2011 04:02
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Rednik posted:Regardless of whether or not she's in Dothraki territory, she's there riding a full-grown dragon and that's a pretty significant development. That may be, but she still can't control the thing worth a drat, hence why she's in Dothraki territory again. I know the book isn't going to suck (even Feast was written well, just not as well as the others), but after 10 years of waiting to find out what is going on with these characters it just seems like much ado about nothing. I really can't see how he is going to tie all of this mess up (since he just added ANOTHER Targ to the mix) in two more books. He still needs to: Get Dany in control of an army and into Westeros Tie up the loose ends with Tyrion Resurrect Jon (or make him not die or whatever) Reveal Jon's heritage (whatever it may be) Follow up with Maegery Finish up Jaime/Breinne/Cat Do whatever with Davos/Rickon Get Bran into the mix again (his story is going to get really great I think) Introduce Arya (or not Arya as it seems to finally be now) back into Westeros Tie things up with Littlefinger/Sansa Tie the war of the North up Finish explaining what The Others are and have them finally attack Tie things up with Aegon Have the Zombie Gregor/Sandor show down Resurrect Hodor as the rightful King of Westeros and live happily ever after Thats a lot of poo poo to get into two books (and there's a bunch of stuff I know I'm forgetting). Especially for a writer that takes entire books to build up to one or two events. This series will never be completed. What we suspected was true, the man has no exit strategy and this series will go on forever with out being completed even if the GRRM out lives us all. By 2019 we will be talking about how he will not be able to tie the series up by the 10th book and Dany still won't be in Westeros.
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Jul 4, 2011 07:13
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Amazon.de supposedly sent out only 180 copies or so. I got mine on the 30th, but I had the book preordered since about 2008. I don't know about any other leaks. And at the rate he's moving the plot forward in Dance, there's no way in hell he'll finish in two more books.
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Jul 4, 2011 12:49
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Hannibal Rex posted:And at the rate he's moving the plot forward in Dance, there's no way in hell he'll finish in two more books. I think most people pretty much assumed that without ever even seeing the new book
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Jul 4, 2011 17:48
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Hannibal Rex posted:Amazon.de supposedly sent out only 180 copies or so. I got mine on the 30th, but I had the book preordered since about 2008. I don't know about any other leaks. A guy at my office also got one of the leaked copies, and he only ordered it sometime this year. As for the normal bookstores selling them, I have rarely seen them hold back a book after they have received the shipement, I have seen variou books out over a month early.
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Jul 4, 2011 18:40
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Aww. Now I'm sad. Came back looking for the Bad Thread as an antidote to my friends sperging on how good the book's going to be, and all I find is it's rotting corpse. Truly, the Gurm's reach knows no limits.
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Jul 4, 2011 23:48
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Ika posted:As for the normal bookstores selling them, I have rarely seen them hold back a book after they have received the shipement, I have seen variou books out over a month early. I called a bunch of places and they're all insistent on waiting till the 12th 
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Jul 4, 2011 23:59
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My quote finally became the thread title and then the goddamn book had to come out and the thread got closed. gently caress your impeccable timing, gurmsire.
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Jul 5, 2011 01:35
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Hi there! Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Grab your lemoncakes and pedobait, because I have a conspiracy theory for you! Loosechanj = GRRM?  You decide... (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jul 5, 2011 22:26
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You spent way to long on a really terrible troll.
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Jul 5, 2011 23:39
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Scissors posted:You spent way to long on a really terrible troll. I thought it was kinda funny. It's not like this thread is active anyway.
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Jul 6, 2011 00:36
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A Dance of Dragons leaks early thanks to ZEE GERMANS, spoilers start popping up all over the net, GRRM fandom is having a worldwide embolism over it, and yet you all are still arguing over what constitutes a bad thread or not. I expected more of this thread. Anyway, we're a week out, maybe this thread will survive until then at which point we can do something new here - actually discuss the books. For my part, I just re-read AFFC, initially with the same enthusiasm Stannis takes to his marriage bed, but I ended up liking it a little better this time. Maybe because I know I only have to wait a week to continue it now? Anyone else try this?
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Jul 6, 2011 00:56
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I got mine early because I have connections to publishing company executive director and insisted that I wouldn't believe the book existed until I was holding it...then I just never gave it back to her 
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Jul 6, 2011 01:00
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Some dude has posted a chapter by chapter rundown of the thing. I refuse to read it, but I fully expect a ton of "Snape Kills Dumbledore" posts all over the net for the next week so be forewarned.
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Jul 6, 2011 01:31
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Who is that meant to warn? The people that came into the spoiler thread? May want to post that in the non-spoiler thread as well since those are the people that would probably be ruined by it.
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Jul 6, 2011 02:12
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Ixian posted:A Dance of Dragons leaks early thanks to ZEE GERMANS, spoilers start popping up all over the net, GRRM fandom is having a worldwide embolism over it, and yet you all are still arguing over what constitutes a bad thread or not. I expected more of this thread. I liked rereading AFFC because I read it on my kindle and could just hit "next chapter" anytime a Brieane chapter came up. I had forgotten how satisfying Cerci's plight at the end was.
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Jul 6, 2011 02:14
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I found scans on another website and read the first 100 pages or so (don't want to get probated by posting the links). It's great so far. It was amazing reading a new Bran chapter for the first time since 2005 for me.
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Jul 6, 2011 02:21
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Yeah, I like Brienne as a character, but goddamn if her chapters aren't some of the most boring parts of Feast. The problem is she's just going from village to village doing the exact same futile poo poo in her search for Sansa. She's better as a non-POV.
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Jul 6, 2011 02:40
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Scissors posted:You spent way to long on a really terrible troll. Thirty seconds?
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Jul 6, 2011 02:59
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