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nobody's taking this metaphor thing to the next stage:swimgus posted:That simile is as bad as stepping on a stingray, but the rest of that article was as decent as my mom's apple pie. The purpose of that simile was as misused as a donkey with a spinning wheel. Is it that it was as bad of an idea to send Marge to sensitivity training as it would've been for the Japanese to bomb Pearl Harbor again? Because he could have done a lot better than that abortion of a sentence. Rick Reilly used to idolize Jim Murray. Murray was excellent at utilizing metaphors or similes to direct the reader to a point. He once famously said "why say a boxer got beat up when you can say 'he looked like six feet of lumps'?" He also wrote this great article on stars in sports focusing on the word "star;" how they aren't brief flashes of talent, but beacons of long-lasting brilliance; how the fans use those stars to navigate the playing eras; and so on. Wish I could find it. Reilly likes to use metaphors and similes to make off-beat jokes. Whatever works, I guess.
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Jul 6, 2011 00:29
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Thanks, you're good at that. BackInTheUSSR posted:What's so bad about similes? He overuses them now and they're part of his schtick but in the pieces we linked to they're fine. I think you're getting too angry over nothing. I think figurative language is just fine, so long as it's actually used to make some sort of point, but 99.9% of all of Reilly's billions of similes either don't make sense or are incredibly stupid or about teeth or all three. Usually all three. edit: Fixed the quote. swimgus fucked around with this message at 01:44 on Jul 6, 2011 |
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Jul 6, 2011 01:19
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swimgus posted:Thanks, you're good at that. Oh, I like(d) Reilly. I haven't read anything by him in a few years (for a reason), but he still came out with decent columns between the "it's no longer about the game" and the "this kid has persevered despite severe injury" columns. There's nothing wrong with the occasional simile, and sometimes the overuse of simile--W.P. Kinsella wrote a great novel that overused similes to draw a point about symbolism in baseball. But you and I agree, using similes (the weaker of the two) to make a random joke undermines your point.
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Jul 6, 2011 01:31
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Not really going to comment on the article, but I sure laughed when I read the title: http://www.nesn.com/2011/07/derek-jeter-could-show-real-leadership-by-volunteering-to-bat-eighth-or-ninth.html "Derek Jeter Could Show Real Leadership by Volunteering to Bat Eighth or Ninth"
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Jul 6, 2011 04:32
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This article was published in Texas Monthly 13 years ago, but I just discovered it and it really, really owns. The level of detail is strong.
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Jul 6, 2011 06:03
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I don't know how anyone can write this with a straight face. http://sports.espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/columns/story?columnist=marchand_andrew&id=6736177 The reason Jeter has such a high fielding percentage is because he has no range to get to any balls he might make an error on!
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Jul 6, 2011 17:45
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unhwillneverwin posted:I don't know how anyone can write this with a straight face. B-b-b-b-but he's the captain!!!!!!
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Jul 6, 2011 17:46
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seiferguy posted:Not really going to comment on the article, but I sure laughed when I read the title: Not even the dumbest article on NESN today http://www.nesn.com/2011/07/is-jason-varitek-a-hall-of-famer.html The author seems to argue that Yogi, Bench, Fisk played in better offensive eras than Varitek quote:Like all other Hall of Fame debates, it's tough to compare Tek to the 13 current Cooperstown backstops. Sure, guys like Johnny Bench, Yogi Berra and Carlton Fisk have better numbers than Varitek, but as we all know -- and have a tough time coping with, when it comes down to the old "should he or shouldn't he" debate -- it's a different game than it was when those legends manned the dish.
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Jul 6, 2011 17:52
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leokitty posted:Not even the dumbest article on NESN today http://www.nesn.com/2011/07/is-jason-varitek-a-hall-of-famer.html hahaha 63% say yes
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Jul 6, 2011 17:54
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A local columnist wrote an article where he pretended to ask President Obama random questions about sports. Then he pretended to answer them? http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20110705/SPORTS11/107050340/Lopresti-Let-s-hear-White-House-weigh-sports-debate quote:Question: As you know, Mr. President, this was the last weekend of Wimbledon. By the end of the fourth round, every American woman was gone -- meaning every Williams sister. The last U.S. man -- Mardy Fish -- was beaten last Wednesday, assuring the drought for American men in Grand Slam events will go to 31 over eight years. Phew, what a knee slapper. Am I right?
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Jul 6, 2011 18:03
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Badfinger posted:A local columnist wrote an article where he pretended to ask President Obama random questions about sports. Then he pretended to answer them? Has the fake interview ever, in the history of the world, been funny?
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Jul 7, 2011 02:49
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Bob Shabazz posted:hahaha 63% say yes Can't wait for the  articles when he gets like 1%
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Jul 7, 2011 02:55
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midwat posted:Has the fake interview ever, in the history of the world, been funny? The Onion
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Jul 7, 2011 02:58
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Mornacale posted:The Onion Never really seen them do that Q-and-A style that hack columnists use. I guess they could make that format work but, like 99 percent of the time, Q-and-A comes across as "Hey, look at me put words in this famous person's mouth."
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Jul 7, 2011 03:02
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Captain Charisma posted:Can't wait for the It will be more than 1% because there are a ton of idiots who believe his game calling nonsense
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Jul 7, 2011 05:56
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Varitek could turn into Jim Rice 2.0, you never know. e: I mean the drop off from Rice to Tek is huge don't get me wrong. But with the BBWAA you never know. Mandoira fucked around with this message at 06:10 on Jul 7, 2011 |
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Jul 7, 2011 06:04
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Mandoira posted:Varitek could turn into Jim Rice 2.0, you never know. The most feared pitch-caller of his generation.
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Jul 7, 2011 06:51
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Nerokerubina posted:The most feared pitch-caller of his generation.
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Jul 7, 2011 08:02
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leokitty posted:Not even the dumbest article on NESN today http://www.nesn.com/2011/07/is-jason-varitek-a-hall-of-famer.html So good-not-great catcher plays in a harder era than 3 of the greatest of all time, two of which played in the dead ball era. Ok.
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Jul 7, 2011 14:34
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Bigass Moth posted:So good-not-great catcher plays in a harder era than 3 of the greatest of all time, two of which played in the dead ball era. Ok. Im not trying to lend any credence to the Tek to the hall camp, but none of those catchers played in the dead ball era.
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Jul 7, 2011 18:34
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are you on the DL and want to fly to Guatemala to adopt a kid? Too loving bad, according to Steve Rosenbloom. That means you have disrespected the team! http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/rosenblog/chi-are-the-cubs-dumber-than-carlos-zambrano-20110707,0,7555893.column SomeFuckingIdiot posted:For now, the story is that Zambrano threw a bullpen at Wrigley instead of in Washington because the Cubs didn’t want the big goof to further hurt or strain his back sitting on an airplane. This spasm of lucidity could impact the Cubs’ chances reaching first place in the Frickin' Idiot League. I can't even fathom what must be wrong with someone to hold opinions like this.
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Jul 8, 2011 02:28
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How in the hell can you poo poo on a kid's adoption? How is it even possible to be that callous and ignorant? 
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Jul 8, 2011 02:32
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SporkOfTruth posted:How in the hell can you poo poo on a kid's adoption? How is it even possible to be that callous and ignorant? He should have been dedicating 100% of his time to rehabilitation for the Cubs' sure playoff run.
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Jul 8, 2011 02:54
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But how can he love a child when he has not loved the Cubs? Checkmate.
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Jul 8, 2011 04:21
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The Cubs franchise is like a small child in many ways so I can see how you would come to that conclusion.
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Jul 8, 2011 04:26
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quote:NEW YORK -- On the eve of Derek Jeter's return to pursue DJ3K, gently caress you.
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Jul 8, 2011 04:33
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BackInTheUSSR posted:gently caress you. 3000 hits is kind of a Big Deal but he is having such an ungodly lovely year that they really should't be hyping it so much...but The Captain, etc.
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Jul 8, 2011 12:03
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I believe the big issue is that it was shortened to DJ3K. At least, that's what made me roll my eyes.
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Jul 8, 2011 13:11
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Bigass Moth posted:3000 hits is kind of a Big Deal It shouldn't be, though.
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Jul 8, 2011 13:20
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Bigass Moth posted:3000 hits is kind of a Big Deal but he is having such an ungodly lovely year that they really should't be hyping it so much...but The Captain, etc. I hate Jeter now as much as the next guy, but...really? They shouldn't hype it up because he's bad now? I can't even begin to count how many things are wrong with that statement. At the very least did you consider that most players are well into their decline by the time they get to 3000 hits? Biggio had been in decline for years (masked by his home park). George Brett had a .397 slugging percentage the year he hit 3000.
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Jul 8, 2011 14:03
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Captain Charisma posted:I hate Jeter now as much as the next guy, but...really? They shouldn't hype it up because he's bad now? I can't even begin to count how many things are wrong with that statement. At the very least did you consider that most players are well into their decline by the time they get to 3000 hits? Biggio had been in decline for years (masked by his home park). George Brett had a .397 slugging percentage the year he hit 3000. I know but looking back in history there aren't many 3000 hit guys who were in their prime except for maybe Pete Rose and Ty Cobb so it is still a big deal. Especially for a True Yankee.
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Jul 8, 2011 14:12
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Bigass Moth posted:I know but looking back in history there aren't many 3000 hit guys who were in their prime except for maybe Pete Rose and Ty Cobb so it is still a big deal. Especially for a True Yankee. God, I hate that last bit. Player X approaches extremely rare milestone - "He's almost there, good for him  "Yankee approaches extremely rare milestone - "OH MY GOD WE'LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT "e: i mean, it's true but come on this is a pretty cool thing happening
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Jul 8, 2011 15:34
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DONT READ THIS POST posted:God, I hate that last bit. Honestly, I don't think that's really it. I think it's more "Oh god we are going to have this rammed down our throats for a month." The HBO Documentary is proof of this. I mean, Jeter is a fine player and full credit to him when (if!?) he reaches 3000 hits. But it's not a national event and I don't need live look-ins of every at-bat. Why didn't anyone make a documentary of Craig Biggio's 3000 hit and as an Astros fan I am totally unbiased in that statement.
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Jul 8, 2011 15:55
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Edawg06 posted:Honestly, I don't think that's really it. I think it's more "Oh god we are going to have this rammed down our throats for a month." The HBO Documentary is proof of this. I mean, Jeter is a fine player and full credit to him when (if!?) he reaches 3000 hits. But it's not a national event and I don't need live look-ins of every at-bat. Cause Derek Jeter has an EDGE.
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Jul 8, 2011 15:57
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Because as much as it is aggravating people who watch baseball everyday the audience outside of that small group gives a lot of fucks about Derek Jeter and eats this stuff up. Same as why the Yankees/Red Sox/Cubs/whoever are always on Fox/ESPN/TBS.
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Jul 8, 2011 16:02
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DONT READ THIS POST posted:God, I hate that last bit. There is literally nothing cool or interesting about a boring rear end dude reaching an arbitrary round number of a marginally meaningful counting stat, it's not about gently caress da Yankees because I like the Yankees it's just really not interesting at all.
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Jul 8, 2011 16:22
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A drat FOG posted:There is literally nothing cool or interesting about a boring rear end dude reaching an arbitrary round number of a marginally meaningful counting stat, it's not about gently caress da Yankees because I like the Yankees it's just really not interesting at all. There's nothing interesting at all about sports, it's just boring rear end dudes hitting arbitrary round balls
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Jul 8, 2011 16:23
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A drat FOG posted:There is literally nothing cool or interesting about a boring rear end dude reaching an arbitrary round number of a marginally meaningful counting stat, it's not about gently caress da Yankees because I like the Yankees it's just really not interesting at all. Baseball is futility
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Jul 8, 2011 16:28
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morestuff posted:There's nothing interesting at all about sports, it's just boring rear end dudes hitting arbitrary round balls I don't see your point. DRTP basically accused people of having double standards about 3000 hits, I'm just saying in my opinion 3000 hits is a pretty dumb thing in general and the icing on the cake is that Jeter is a boring guy who I don't care about. The complaint was silly, especially since you can't compare the media coverage of "player X" to the media coverage of Derek Jeter.
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Jul 8, 2011 16:30
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A drat FOG posted:I don't see your point. DRTP basically accused people of having double standards about 3000 hits, I'm just saying in my opinion 3000 hits is a pretty dumb thing in general and the icing on the cake is that Jeter is a boring guy who I don't care about. The complaint was silly, especially since you can't compare the media coverage of "player X" to the media coverage of Derek Jeter. First, I read your original comment as mainly a response to him saying that "a cool thing is happening." Second, what is OK to get excited about? It's fine to not care about it personally, but saying there's "literally nothing cool or interesting" about Jeter's accomplishment just sounds like you're being jaded for no reason. In the grand scheme of things, Jeter hitting 3000 doesn't really mean anything. But someone getting excited about an arbitrary number does make some sense, as it's more or less all that sports is about.
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Jul 8, 2011 16:37
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