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whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back

Umph posted:

Hey what happened to the bad thread? I've been gone for a few months. Is the book really coming out in a few days? Gosh!

The bad thread was euthanized. This is the book discussion for those who don't care about spoilers. The Bad Thread as it has relocated to IRC.

swiped from Riso:


Riso posted:

A small faq:

Q: I want to chat live with horrible people on IRC where do I go?
A: Go to irc.synirc.net #thebadthread

Q: What, how? I don't understand this IRC thing.
A: Click here for instant access.

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crime weed
Nov 9, 2009

Umph posted:

Hey what happened to the bad thread? I've been gone for a few months. Is the book really coming out in a few days? Gosh!
They probated pretty much every bad thread poster. Maybe it will be allowed to come back once everyone's read ADwD and it becomes clear gurm will never finish WoW. He won't even need to sell water-damaged calendars now, thanks to the TV-series.

But yeah, glad reviews are positive. It's been a long, long time since I've read the other books, though, so hopefully it'll suck me back in (don't really want to re-read the series right now).

Ixian
Oct 9, 2001

Many machines on Ix....new machines
Pillbug
They make good re-reads though, even AFFC. When the latter came out in 2005 I didn't bother to re-read the first three, as a result it was nearly 5 years since I had read any of them and I had no idea what the gently caress was going on. Combined with AFFC being the weakest of the 4 to begin with it made for a bad experience and I stopped thinking about the whole thing for years. This from a guy who's been to a Martin appearance/signing for the last three books (ACoK had about 40 people and was awesome, two hours of shooting the poo poo with Martin, ASOS had maybe 100 or so, still fun, AFFC had over 500 and was a mess. I don't know if I am going to even bother with ADWD signings, seeing as the line will probably wrap around the block).

Then last year news of the series revved my interest and earlier this year I decided to re-read them at a leisurely pace. I recently finished AFFC and found it to be better than I remembered (still not as good as the first 3). I also read all the Dunk & Egg novellas, which are surprisingly good considering they are set 100 years before the books.

I have a buddy who just now decided to start them all in prep for next week which seems like a lot of rape and lemoncakes in a short period of time to me, but I can't imagine how ADWD will make much sense if you haven't read anything since AFFC came out.

In short, at the least I'd recommend brushing up at Westeros.org or the Wiki, which have decent summaries for all the books and novellas.

SmugDogMillionaire
Oct 27, 2009

by T. Fine
AFFC gets a lot better when you know that Martin is going to manage to write at least one more book and you've made your peace with it just being a bunch of B-plotlines stapled together

Roman Reigns
Aug 23, 2007

The best thing about these books is that I can grab any one at random (even Feast), flip to a random page, and more than likely be compelled to keep reading onward. Neither Lord of the Rings or even Robert Howard's Conan can get me to do this.

the gulper caper posted:

but yeah, "dreadfort" is a dead loving giveaway, i mean cmon! there should have been routine inspections on that creepy motherfucker. seriously, if you go into something unironically called the "dreadfort", then gently caress you, youre ridiculous.

Don't forget the Boltons have rebelled against the Starks more than once before. Shortsightedness really is a family trait.

literallyincredible
Oct 23, 2008
yeah I don't really get the Stark/Bolton dynamic. "Oh this one family is unequivocally evil and act like they should be in Mordor and constantly scheme against us and plot to cut off our skin like serial killers...so we treat them like any other trusted bannermen."

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back
Pretty sure the last time they did this was before the Targaryens, so it's not THAT bizarre. Strange, though, that nobody, y'know, noticed that the flayed men thing wasn't just heritage, but a living tradition.

Rednik
Apr 10, 2005


Honestly, given the problems the Boltons cause throughout history and even the Hornwood lands conflict in aCoK, why didn't the Starks just get all their bannermen and steamroll those assholes? Nobody.Would.Care.

I'm willing to bet if a lesser house in the Westerlands had a reputation for wearing the skins of former Lannisters, their castle would have been a pile of rubble already.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

Rednik posted:

Honestly, given the problems the Boltons cause throughout history and even the Hornwood lands conflict in aCoK, why didn't the Starks just get all their bannermen and steamroll those assholes? Nobody.Would.Care.

I'm willing to bet if a lesser house in the Westerlands had a reputation for wearing the skins of former Lannisters, their castle would have been a pile of rubble already.

Pretty much. I fail to see how the Starks are the heroes here. They get outmaneuvered by everyone, even inconsequential houses, all the time.


Also, if you want an excellent prep session for ADWD, read the prologue, the 4 Dorne chapters, and the final Sam chapter from AFFC.

Not only will you still get a good laugh out of how terrible of a character Dorkstar is, but you also get some interesting "oh holy poo poo, this is turning into a science vs. magic secret behind the scenes battle, the iron throne is meaningless in the grand scheme of things" revelations you may have missed the first time.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back
How the hell could you miss it?

And I'm sure there's gotta be some reason. They've been fighting for a hell of a long time before the Targs showed up. Maybe it's virtually impossible to get a siege force there?

On the other hand, knowing the Starks, they probably kept pissing everyone else off enough that even people who tear the skin from your living flesh look good by comparison.

Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009

Gravy Boat 2k
The Lannisters did have trouble-making lesser houses. Their names were the Tarbecks and the Reynes. You may have heard of them again in a little song called "The Rains of Castamere."

Also, Darkstar is the single greatest character ever created.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

Contra Calculus posted:

Also, Darkstar is the single greatest character ever created.

You misspelled "Hot Pie".

Undead Unicorn
Sep 14, 2010

by Lowtax

Tony Danza Claus posted:

You misspelled "Brennine".
Totally with you one hundred percent.

Meme Emulator
Oct 4, 2000

Have stores started to break street dates, how have people started reading it already?

threeagainstfour
Jun 27, 2005


Amazon.de shipped 180 copies early last week.

batomys
Sep 16, 2008

Tony Danza Claus posted:

You misspelled "Hot Pie".

Seconding this, one of the few times I laughed out loud while reading the books is when Arya/Arry lets loose with a 'WINTERFELL!' battlecry and he follows up with a heroic 'HOT PIE!' as he hacks some dude's neck with an axe.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back
Was he changed from the books? I could have sworn he was a skinny little snot in the books.

Scissors
Mar 22, 2004


And Lommy's hands weren't but green. 'Lommy "no physically distinguishing traits in regards to the color of his" hands' is how he should have appeared in the credits.

Ray_
Sep 15, 2005

It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians." - Bobby Dodd, on playing at LSU's Tiger Stadium
This post is all spoilers, but nothing too terrible.

Dany still dumb:

Daenerys posted:

I would give up my crown if he asked it of me, Dany thought...but he had not asked it, and never would.
Is this some stalwart hero? An exiled Lord or famous knight or even a commoner with exceptional qualities? Nope. It's a sellsword captain with a gold tooth. like 4 paragraphs before:

Dany re: Daario Naharis posted:

He has a sellsword's conscience, she realized then. That is to say, none at all.

God I hope she dies.

On the other hand, the Lord of White Harbor is pretty cool.

Lord Wyman Manderly posted:

"I am fat, and many think that makes me weak and foolish."
When I read that all I could think of was :goonsay:

Anyway, dude reminds me of Doran Martell. Manderly takes more overt action than Martell, though. For example, he disappears a few Freys on the way to meet some other northern lords. He intentionally set a slow loving pace and when these Freys raced ahead, they got "lost" and no trace of them could be found.

The Boltons are hosed up, man. Seems as if Ramsay made Theon into an eunuch. Ramsay also made him eat out fake Arya in order to get her wet enough to bed on their wedding night. This after he nonchalantly jammed 2 fingers into her without warning and complained that she was too dry.

Ray_
Sep 15, 2005

It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians." - Bobby Dodd, on playing at LSU's Tiger Stadium

whowhatwhere posted:

Was he changed from the books? I could have sworn he was a skinny little snot in the books.

Pretty sure he's at least described as having a fat face.

Habibi
Dec 8, 2004

We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Ray_ posted:

Dany still dumb:
I'm about halfway through my AFfC reread now, and I couldn't recall when reading ASoS last week whether he was still around by the end. And, yeah, that is pretty dumb of her. You'd think she would have learned at least that much by now.

Rednik
Apr 10, 2005


Ray_ posted:

This post is all spoilers, but nothing too terrible.

Dany still dumb:

Is this some stalwart hero? An exiled Lord or famous knight or even a commoner with exceptional qualities? Nope. It's a sellsword captain with a gold tooth. like 4 paragraphs before:


God I hope she dies.

On the other hand, the Lord of White Harbor is pretty cool.

When I read that all I could think of was :goonsay:

Anyway, dude reminds me of Doran Martell. Manderly takes more overt action than Martell, though. For example, he disappears a few Freys on the way to meet some other northern lords. He intentionally set a slow loving pace and when these Freys raced ahead, they got "lost" and no trace of them could be found.

The Boltons are hosed up, man. Seems as if Ramsay made Theon into an eunuch. Ramsay also made him eat out fake Arya in order to get her wet enough to bed on their wedding night. This after he nonchalantly jammed 2 fingers into her without warning and complained that she was too dry.

:gizz:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

threeagainstfour
Jun 27, 2005


Ray_ posted:

This post is all spoilers, but nothing too terrible.

Dany still dumb:

Is this some stalwart hero? An exiled Lord or famous knight or even a commoner with exceptional qualities? Nope. It's a sellsword captain with a gold tooth. like 4 paragraphs before:


God I hope she dies.

On the other hand, the Lord of White Harbor is pretty cool.

When I read that all I could think of was :goonsay:

Anyway, dude reminds me of Doran Martell. Manderly takes more overt action than Martell, though. For example, he disappears a few Freys on the way to meet some other northern lords. He intentionally set a slow loving pace and when these Freys raced ahead, they got "lost" and no trace of them could be found.

The Boltons are hosed up, man. Seems as if Ramsay made Theon into an eunuch. Ramsay also made him eat out fake Arya in order to get her wet enough to bed on their wedding night. This after he nonchalantly jammed 2 fingers into her without warning and complained that she was too dry.

Seriously, I hope she gets dead as well. Girl is willing to give up her crown for a piece of poo poo like Dario, but she sends my man Jorah away even though he has arguably won more victories and done more for her than anyone else in her entourage.

gently caress that.

Ray_
Sep 15, 2005

It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians." - Bobby Dodd, on playing at LSU's Tiger Stadium
Triple postin' to tell all y'all about how dumb Dany continues to be. Quentyn Martell shows up with the marriage contract for Arianne and Viserys. Dorne obviously wants Quentyn and Dany to wed in place of them, and Quentyn proposes the marriage pact.
This is what she says after putting him off:

Dany posted:

The queen rose. "Then we are done for now."
Daario and Ser Barristan followed her up the steps to her apartments.
"This changes everything," the old knight said.
"This changes nothing," Dany said, as Irri removed her crown. "What
good are three men?"

Seriously? She's throwing away the Dornish alliance to wed a loving Mereenese. She chose a lovely city in Slaver's Bay over Westeros. How. loving. Dumb.

I like this too, down the page from the above quote:

Dany posted:

"Ser Barristan, what are the arms of House Martell?"
She expects to be queen of Westeros yet hasn't even taken the time to learn the arms of even the great Houses? There's only like 8 of them. Not only that, but it's the arms of the House most closely tied to the Targaryens.

I hope it goes down like this: have her land in Westeros and all 7 kingdoms rise together...to shove her dumb rear end make into the sea. I mean, she insulted and refused a Dornish alliance, her army are all eunuchs and slaves, and she's married to a Mereenese that would be the king of the Seven Kingdoms. Why would anyone in Westeros want her for a queen?

Ray_
Sep 15, 2005

It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians." - Bobby Dodd, on playing at LSU's Tiger Stadium

threeagainstfour posted:

Seriously, I hope she gets dead as well. Girl is willing to give up her crown for a piece of poo poo like Dario,

Dany posted:

That night Daario had her every way a man can have a woman, and she gave herself to him willingly. The last time, as the sun was coming up, she used her mouth to make him hard again, as Doreah had taught her long ago, then rode him so wildly that his wound began to bleed again, and for one sweet heartbeat she could not tell whether he was inside of her, or her inside of him.

Edit:

Dany posted:

"Come back to bed and kiss me." No one had ever kissed her like Daario Naharis. "I am your queen, and I command you to gently caress me."
She had meant it playfully, but Daario's eyes hardened at her words. "loving queens is king's work. Your noble Hizdahr can attend to that, once you're wed. And if he proves to be too highborn for such sweaty work, he has servants who will be pleased to do that for him as well. Or perhaps you can call the Dornish boy into your bed, and his pretty friend as well, why not?" He strode from the bedchamber.
lol


Edit x2:

Dany posted:

She relied so much on the little scribe that she oft forgot that Missandei had only turned eleven.
Holy poo poo, only eleven?
...Yep, seems about right that Dany relies heavily on an eleven year old girl.

Ray_ fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Jul 8, 2011

Habibi
Dec 8, 2004

We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Ray_ posted:

Edit:

lol

:wtf: Unlike many here, I've generally been really interested in Dany's storyline, and until now would have confidently said that I'd never skim through or skip her chapters. But...

Squidbeak
Jul 24, 2007

Com Truise

Meme Emulator posted:

Have stores started to break street dates, how have people started reading it already?

I just saw some copies on the shelf at the bookstore in the airport.

Ray_
Sep 15, 2005

It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians." - Bobby Dodd, on playing at LSU's Tiger Stadium
Haha, gently caress all of you that laughed at the idea of Tyrion the Secret Targ!

Barristan the Bold posted:

"As you command." The white knight chose his words with care. "Prince Aerys . . . as a youth, he was taken with a certain lad)- of Casterly Rock, a cousin of Tywin Lannister. When she and Tywin wed, your father drank too much wine at the wedding feast and was heard to say that it was
a great pity that the lord's right to the first night had been abolished. A drunken jape, no more, but Tywin Lannister was not a man to forget such words, or the . . . the liberties your father took during the bedding." His face reddened. "I have said too much, Your Grace. I—"

Habibi
Dec 8, 2004

We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Ray_ posted:

Haha, gently caress all of you that laughed at the idea of Tyrion the Secret Targ!

Tun, TUN, TUUUUUUUUUN.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

Ray_ posted:

Haha, gently caress all of you that laughed at the idea of Tyrion the Secret Targ!

Tyrion is the youngest kid. That means Jaime and Cersei were Targs. Maybe.

Ray_
Sep 15, 2005

It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians." - Bobby Dodd, on playing at LSU's Tiger Stadium

Tony Danza Claus posted:

Tyrion is the youngest kid. That means Jaime and Cersei were Targs. Maybe.

That doesn't necessarily mean that Aerys hosed her on her wedding night, or that he didn't rape her 10 years later.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
Or that GRRM is a good author.

Thoguh
Nov 8, 2002

College Slice

Ray_ posted:

The Boltons are hosed up, man. Seems as if Ramsay made Theon into an eunuch. Ramsay also made him eat out fake Arya in order to get her wet enough to bed on their wedding night. This after he nonchalantly jammed 2 fingers into her without warning and complained that she was too dry.

I just finished the 4th book and was going to make my first venture into the bad thread only to find out it didn't exist anymore. But drat, if that really is a spoiler GRRM is more hosed up than I'd thought. No wonder you guys went Wild Card.

threeagainstfour
Jun 27, 2005


Ray_ posted:

Edit:

lol


Edit x2:

Holy poo poo, only eleven?
...Yep, seems about right that Dany relies heavily on an eleven year old girl.

gently caress that poo poo, it should have been my boy Jorah "dining on whichever parts" of her he liked!

Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009

Gravy Boat 2k
If Tyrion is seriously a secret Targ, that is the single stupidest loving retcon I have ever heard of in my entire goddamn life.

Paper Lion
Dec 14, 2009




So yeah this ain't TVIV but everyone in here was raging about Brienne being "TV ugly" and not REAL ugly.

welp http://grrm.livejournal.com/227044.html

Toplowtech
Aug 31, 2004

Contra Calculus posted:

If Tyrion is seriously a secret Targ, that is the single stupidest loving retcon I have ever heard of in my entire goddamn life.
How is it a retcon:
_mismatched eyes and white-blonde hair that doesn't sound anything like the Lannister
_said he spent hours watching fire and dreaming of dragon when he was young (and he is still reading books about dragons)
_Tywin's distant behavior with him, only showing real interest in him when Jayme is captured and his final "you are no son of mine"
_Aerys promoting Jayme to King's Guard after his birth, making him indirectly the heir to Casterly Rock and Aerys's reaction to his son abducting another great house member to 'apparently rape her'.
_Tywin's sudden resignation as Hand and his later brutal betrayal of the Targaryen, attempting to kill them all (children includes just because they made Jayme a kingsguard? really?).

Well, it could still be a red herring but it's hardly a retcon.

cuddlefish
Nov 11, 2003

That was a game.

This is paintball.

Habibi posted:

:wtf: Unlike many here, I've generally been really interested in Dany's storyline, and until now would have confidently said that I'd never skim through or skip her chapters. But...

Same here. I thought she's been interesting and shown some growth and ability to learn from mistakes, which 99% of the other characters are pretty much incapable of. Nevermind all that blood of the dragon/building an army/learning to rule a city poo poo though, Daario has blue hair! :allears:

Ser Barristan Selmy: :ughh:

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back

threeagainstfour posted:

Seriously, I hope she gets dead as well. Girl is willing to give up her crown for a piece of poo poo like Dario, but she sends my man Jorah away even though he has arguably won more victories and done more for her than anyone else in her entourage.

And people criticize the series for characters not acting their age :rolleyes:

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FormerPoster
Aug 5, 2004

Hair Elf

Paper Lion posted:

So yeah this ain't TVIV but everyone in here was raging about Brienne being "TV ugly" and not REAL ugly.

welp http://grrm.livejournal.com/227044.html

I don't have a problem with this, she's apparently 6'5" and I have no doubt that she can be uglied up with the right make-up team, plus she's got the wide puppy dog eyes that Catlyn always prattled on about. I'm not sure who else they could have gotten - who did people want to play her, JK Simmons in a wig?

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