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Skyworks
Oct 2, 2010

by angerbutt
Massive wall of irrelevant, stupid, wishful, hopeful and sad poo poo, what the hell is wrong with you?

Please don't help me... In any way at all, you sick fucks. Would rather drown in my own feces, than have you help you fascist prick.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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Chicken McNobody
Aug 7, 2009
I...I'm confused :(

Anyhoo, for the last couple weeks I've been waking up in the middle of the night with pain deep in both buttocks, like in the hip joints. I already sleep with a body pillow between my knees to help with back pain...is there any way to alleviate this?

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

Skyworks posted:

Just a quick one to confirm that what our parents are saying is wrong. We have a thoroughly brilliant little girl. My wife has recently given birth to our second daughter. We are both taking time off to share the burden of a newborn, she is running days and I am running nights, this is definitely a contributing factor as being sleep deprived is screwing with me.

Since Daria came home, Elizabeth, our first, has all of a sudden become drat loud. For example; Earlier tonight while I was nursing Daria I asked Sissi to go and get her mother. She said OK, turned around and screamed at the top of her voice "Mama, Dad wants you!" then ran off. Obviously, the fact that there is another bub in the house is an adjustment for all of us. Despite the advice of our parents, I am loathe to discipline Sissi for what I feel to be a natural reaction to the situation.

Intentionally ignoring advice from the grandparents: I feel that this is only going to be a very short phase before everything stabilises. I suppose this post is less looking for advice, and more getting out what I am thinking. In any case, if any of you can give me an idea of what to expect without the 65 year old grandparent 'time to spank' thing, I would appreciate it.

I wouldn't discipline for that. I would say "Shhh, remember we need to be quieter because the baby is trying to sleep." She'll get it eventually.

starshine
Nov 26, 2007

quote:

Massive wall of irrelevant, stupid, wishful, hopeful and sad poo poo, what the hell is wrong with you?

Please don't help me... In any way at all, you sick fucks. Would rather drown in my own feces, than have you help you fascist prick.
Uh, what? Re: your first post, I'd continue ignoring the grandparents. Don't hit your kid because her developmentally appropriate behavior is inconvenient. Does that help?

Chicken McNobody posted:

Anyhoo, for the last couple weeks I've been waking up in the middle of the night with pain deep in both buttocks, like in the hip joints. I already sleep with a body pillow between my knees to help with back pain...is there any way to alleviate this?
I'm almost 4 months postpartum and still dealing with nighttime pain from loose hip joints :( The only things that gave me relief were switching sides often, getting up for a stretch, and going swimming... but nothing really fixed the pain for me. It's easier after birthing because at least you can lie on your back for long periods. Hope you can figure something out that works!

skeetied
Mar 10, 2011

Chicken McNobody posted:

Anyhoo, for the last couple weeks I've been waking up in the middle of the night with pain deep in both buttocks, like in the hip joints. I already sleep with a body pillow between my knees to help with back pain...is there any way to alleviate this?

I've found that sitting on one of those inflatable exercise balls while watching TV at night or at my desk really helps my back pain (which sounds like it's in the same spot as yours).

Tesla Insanely Coil
Jul 23, 2006

Ask me why I'm not squatting.

Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:


Does anyone have, for instance, links to solid studies or just detailed websites about
1. SSRIs and pregnancy? (I was on prozac throughout the pregnancy. I tried getting off it before getting pregnant but found that I was getting really unstable. It's been mentioned as maybe linked to my daughter's scary birth.)


I would try drugs.com. Some articles are better than others - I look at how well they cite sources and what the sources are.

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...
Thanks for the recommendation--though, ngh, their articles on various SSRIs and pregnancy are worrying. It's looking like something I definitely want to talk to a good doctor about before pregnancy this time around.

sheri
Dec 30, 2002

So is there a general consensus as to how long you should be off the pill before starting to try to get pregnant. Say you want to start trying in January, should you just go off the pill in January? Sometime before then? What else should you make sure you do beforehand? Do you schedule an appointment with your Dr.? What questions should you ask in determining where you want/who you want to have to deliver your baby?

Is it normal to be really excited about starting the process of trying to have children, but at the same time terrified?

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.


sheri posted:

So is there a general consensus as to how long you should be off the pill before starting to try to get pregnant. Say you want to start trying in January, should you just go off the pill in January? Sometime before then? What else should you make sure you do beforehand? Do you schedule an appointment with your Dr.? What questions should you ask in determining where you want/who you want to have to deliver your baby?

Is it normal to be really excited about starting the process of trying to have children, but at the same time terrified?

You tell your doctor you plan on trying for a baby and then get a prescription for some prenatals. It's good to start them ASAP. At that point your doctor will probably refer you to an OBGYN - unless said doctor is also an OBGYN (mine was but dropped it because he has too many patients as is). I just went with my doctor's recommendation and that worked out really well. I have friends that went with other friend recommendations.

As far as the pill goes it's possible to get pregnant as soon as you stop taking it assuming your cycles are regular. It'll all depend on your body.

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist
It took me about seven months off of the pill to ovulate again, and I got pregnant on the first try. It's totally different for everyone, though.

legbeard
Jun 13, 2006
So I guess I need some advice on how to not worry so much. My last ultrasound was about two weeks ago. As of today I've reached 12 weeks. And I know everything is a lot less risky after 12 weeks. I'm just worrying so much about losing one or both of my twins. My next ultrasound is next week. 

I think it's compounded by the fact that I can't work, so I'm just sitting home all day not doing anything but thinking. 

My cramps have gone away, does that mean they stopped growing? I'm not really gaining weight, but I'm about 30 lbs overweight to begin with. I'm just over thinking everything at this point. Any advice?

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher
Find something to occupy your mind. Needlework? Knitting? Crochet? jigsaw puzzles? Books? TV shows you've been meaning to watch from netflix?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007

sheri posted:

So is there a general consensus as to how long you should be off the pill before starting to try to get pregnant. Say you want to start trying in January, should you just go off the pill in January? Sometime before then? What else should you make sure you do beforehand? Do you schedule an appointment with your Dr.? What questions should you ask in determining where you want/who you want to have to deliver your baby?

Is it normal to be really excited about starting the process of trying to have children, but at the same time terrified?

There is no consensus about when you should stop the pill. Every woman is different. Some get pregnant the first month, some not. I myself took 1 year and 3 months to conceive after I stopped the pill. Fire In the Disco mentioned she took 7.

Your best bet is to go here for info on getting pregnant. Once you get there, then come back to this thread. The people in the other thread are awesome and really supportive!

Also, as far as what Bamzilla said about pre-natals, it's true, but you don't need the rx kind. Most Walgreens or CVS's etc, carry prenatals anyone can buy. What you're looking to do is build up folic acid, so look for prenatals that have 800+ mcg of folic acid in each pill. It's extremely important to start getting that folic acid up so that the baby can develop properly in the first trimester. Also, it really awesome for your hair and nails, and looking healthier will help with the having sex part!

Bodnoirbabe fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Jul 30, 2011

Crazy Old Clarice
Mar 5, 2007

Lefou, I'm afraid I've been eating... you.

legbeard posted:

I'm not really gaining weight, but I'm about 30 lbs overweight to begin with. I'm just over thinking everything at this point. Any advice?

Beware: ancedotes are not data.

Legbeard (as an overweight pregnant goonette at 18 weeks myself) although I feel heavier than ever and my clothes are uncomfortable, I have apparently only gained 1 pound. Via ultrasound, my doctor reports they baby is growing fine and is an appropriate size for its gestational age. Also, I have definitely been eating healthier (and smaller portions), so I can only assume that somehow I am losing weight in concert with how fast the baby gains it.

Although I am not an expert, as long as you are eating a healthy diet and your ultrasounds show appropriate growth, I wouldn't worry about the weight.

TheSpiritFox
Jan 4, 2009

I'm just a memory, I can't give you any new information.

Whats up thread.

So we just found out my wife is pregnant. Guessing 6 weeks, making an appointment on Monday to confirm but she's been throwing up all week and she's been asking me for about three if I thought her breasts were getting bigger. And it took about nine seconds for the tests she took to return positive.

And now here I am. She's passed out for the night and I guess I'm almost just looking for direction. I've got little to no experience with kids or pregnancy or any of it. I'm excited, but for the first time in my life I find myself clueless. What to Expect When You're Expecting is now sitting on a shelf in the bathroom, but I guess I just wanted a little input from outside sources and who better than the internet, right?

Words of wisdom for a 27 year old soon to be father? Book recommendations? I'm going to start reading through the thread but anything that seems like it should be thrown at me is welcome.

VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

TheSpiritFox posted:

Words of wisdom for a 27 year old soon to be father? Book recommendations? I'm going to start reading through the thread but anything that seems like it should be thrown at me is welcome.

Congratulations! I hope your wife has a smooth and uneventful pregnancy. Every woman experiences this process differently. Some women have mood swings, morning sickness, sore boobs, various body issues, etc. Some women have some of those problems. Some women have none. Just try to be as understanding and compassionate as possible without being smothering.

Try to pay attention to the posts about being an rear end in a top hat on your wife's behalf when it comes to interfering family members, if you have any. And don't stress too much - many first time fathers have little to no interaction with kids before meeting their own, and they all seem to do just fine.

Good luck!

Low Percent Lunge
Jan 29, 2007



TheSpiritFox posted:

Words of wisdom for a 27 year old soon to be father? Book recommendations? I'm going to start reading through the thread but anything that seems like it should be thrown at me is welcome.
I'm about the same age and it took is 3 cycles of "trying" before we conceived.

At first I was excited, but 12 weeks before you can tell anyone seems to take forever. Then there is a weird period where your partners body changes rapidly, but the situation doesn't. This leads up to high anticipation for 20 weeks for the next big scan where you can find out the sex.

That's when it got REAL for me. At around 22 weeks you will be able to feel kicks and movements from the outside.

It was at this point I started to get jealous that my wife got to bond with our unborn child all day while I have to wait for the birth.

Lots of people recommend "save our sleep" book, but that might be a controversial recommendation because the author believes that happy parents will result in happy kids, rather than letting kids dictate their parents behaviour.

Oh and "eating for two" is not required. A pregnant woman needs to consume an average of 300 calories more per day than her regular diet. That's like a glass of milk.

Your partner probably feels like sleeping for two though.

This thread is very mother centric but there are fathers who lurk and it's a great resource of intelligent discussion from the mother's perspective, compared to dedicated pregnancy websites.

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011

Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:

Any suggestions about what to ask the OB/GYN at a pre-pregnancy meeting? I get the impression that what I experienced is not at all uncommon, but I'd like some information beyond either "just cross your fingers and let the NICU sort it out if anything goes wrong" or "modern medicine evilly overmanages birth just go natural all the way and there will be no problem." I know this is kind of :can: stuff but I need some more information so I can have a useful conversation with a doctor.

Recommendations about doulas? We didn't have anyone like that the first time--and honestly, while I'm very glad my daughter was at a fully-equipped hospital I do wish I'd had someone other than my exhausted/confused husband to help me sort through what the nurses were telling me. I'm kind of a smile-and-nod-and-do-what-they-tell-you person.

Uh, for what it's worth, I was 30 when my daughter was born, will be at least 33 for the next birth if we go for it.

Man, that sounds terrifying. I completely understand why you don't want to go through that again. My thoughts are not particularly organised, but:

1. Have you had a meeting with your previous OB/GYN to talk about what happened? Nothing confrontational, but it sounded like you got along with her pretty well, and if you two talk through the whole experience together you'd probably come up with a list of things to talk to the new OB about. Basically, find out why she made the calls she made at each point and what the other possible calls were -- of course this only works if she's the sort of person who won't flip out & get defensive at you. Why do they think the induction didn't work? Exactly what drugs did they use for the induction and are there other options you might respond to better? Why was she having breathing trouble? What was going on with the cord? etc.

2. Take all of that information and then you can go through it with the new OB step by step & talk about what decisions *they* would have made, see how educated they are about the challenges you faced & the options available to you.

As to doulas, I had one who was awesome. I ended up with a scheduled C-section because my daughter was breech & refused to flip, but we decided to keep the doula even though there wasn't going to be any labour & I was really, really glad to have her there. It meant I had someone with me post-surgery while my husband was with our daughter (who had some low-level ICU observation but was fine), and she was able to get me grounded so I could start breast-feeding as soon as possible. I'd really recommend one to do that for you & your husband, especially if you're thinking you might need to go off of the SSRIs. Having someone who is less involved there to advocate for you and make sure that everything is happening for a reason is awesome -- and there are plenty of doulas who aren't "natural or death!" types.

Oh, yes, and I know nothing about the SSRIs & pregnancy thing personally, but you might look for Thomas Hale's Medications and Mother's Milk because despite the title it talks about what's known & unknown about what's safe for pregnancy, in immense scientific detail.

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011

legbeard posted:

So I guess I need some advice on how to not worry so much. My last ultrasound was about two weeks ago. As of today I've reached 12 weeks. And I know everything is a lot less risky after 12 weeks. I'm just worrying so much about losing one or both of my twins. My next ultrasound is next week. 

I think it's compounded by the fact that I can't work, so I'm just sitting home all day not doing anything but thinking. 

My cramps have gone away, does that mean they stopped growing? I'm not really gaining weight, but I'm about 30 lbs overweight to begin with. I'm just over thinking everything at this point. Any advice?

The fear sucks, and I sympathise; I spent a lot of my pregnancy terrified something would go wrong, and a lot of my daughter's first year the same. There's a lot of risk, and a lot of potential for loss, and IME most of us aren't really used to sitting with that. Do you have a support network? People you can talk to at 3am?

Also: How do *you* deal with worry? Do you feel better when you've thought out every single thing in detail, or when you push it aside and distract yourself? I'm the first type, so I read eight trillion books and interviewed doulas and talked to all my friends with kids and spent lots of time trying to figure out my parenting ideology (most of which got dumped when I actually had the baby, but hey, at least I knew what I was choosing not to do!) and so on and so forth. My husband is the second type, so he played lots of computer games, watched movies, and hung out with friends as much as possible.

Cramps going away is fine, not gaining weight can definitely be fine -- I lost some weight early on. Pregnancy is incredibly individual, which is hard because it means that almost everything can be normal or frightening. I would advise against researching symptoms on the internet, because for *everything* you experience there will be someone who has posted somewhere about how it was a prelude to tragedy. Don't make yourself crazy!

Number19
May 14, 2003

HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH


TheSpiritFox posted:

Whats up thread.

So we just found out my wife is pregnant. Guessing 6 weeks, making an appointment on Monday to confirm but she's been throwing up all week and she's been asking me for about three if I thought her breasts were getting bigger. And it took about nine seconds for the tests she took to return positive.

And now here I am. She's passed out for the night and I guess I'm almost just looking for direction. I've got little to no experience with kids or pregnancy or any of it. I'm excited, but for the first time in my life I find myself clueless. What to Expect When You're Expecting is now sitting on a shelf in the bathroom, but I guess I just wanted a little input from outside sources and who better than the internet, right?

Words of wisdom for a 27 year old soon to be father? Book recommendations? I'm going to start reading through the thread but anything that seems like it should be thrown at me is welcome.

I had this book recommended to me and so far it's been really good.

http://www.amazon.com/Unconditional-Parenting-Moving-Rewards-Punishments/dp/0743487486/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312088691&sr=8-1

It's really made me think twice about my goals with my future child(ren) and even helped me identify and hopefully repair some of the issue I have with my parents.

fosborb
Dec 15, 2006



Chronic Good Poster

Whitey Ford posted:

Oh and "eating for two" is not required. A pregnant woman needs to consume an average of 300 calories more per day than her regular diet. That's like a glass of milk.

Another goon-father-to-be here.

It would be easier if it was just a calorie increase. We're used to meal planning and cooking in two equal portions, so it's been challenging to get her protein up to 100g a day while keeping mine less than half that. Frequent high-protein snacks throughout the day help, but for the big meals I know I'm getting way more protein than I used to.

legbeard
Jun 13, 2006

Idonie posted:

Do you have a support network? People you can talk to at 3am?

Also: How do *you* deal with worry? Do you feel better when you've thought out every single thing in detail, or when you push it aside and distract yourself?

I have friends that I can call. But I don't really want to bother them everyday. The hormones are really getting to me this past week. I've pulled out the puzzles, the books, and the movies, but really there's not enough to keep me occupied all day long. I'm not freaking out or anything, but I think it's bad for me to worry so much. When I start worrying, then I start looking up every little detail that I can, when I should probably be distracting myself.

Honestly, there's not a lot of positive stories about twins out there. Everyone I've talked to has horror stories, and there's really not a lot of good resources specifically about twins.

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist
Twin resources, you say? Paging Aagar to the thread!

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011

legbeard posted:

I have friends that I can call. But I don't really want to bother them everyday. The hormones are really getting to me this past week. I've pulled out the puzzles, the books, and the movies, but really there's not enough to keep me occupied all day long. I'm not freaking out or anything, but I think it's bad for me to worry so much. When I start worrying, then I start looking up every little detail that I can, when I should probably be distracting myself.

Honestly, there's not a lot of positive stories about twins out there. Everyone I've talked to has horror stories, and there's really not a lot of good resources specifically about twins.

I have two different acquaintances who have happy, healthy twins -- I'll ask them where they looked for resources during their pregnancies & let you know if they say anything useful. One of them is the geeky sort who reads/researches a lot & will probably have some good answers.

As to the distraction thing -- I can't remember, but are you on bedrest? That definitely makes it harder 'cause you're limited in what you can do for distraction. Maybe look for some online discussion groups about the books or movies or whatever it is that you've pulled out? Find a reading partner to finally tackle War and Peace or whatever other book you've always meant to read but never gotten around to? (This is completely biased towards what I would want, I know... what do *you* do for fun?)

The hormones are a hard ride, definitely. If any of your friends are up for it, maybe arrange regular get-togethers? I had a friend who came and had lunch with me every Friday for my entire pregnancy (and then after she came and had lunch with me & the baby...) and it was a huge help, because it was a social/support contact I could completely count on.

Kubricize
Apr 29, 2010

legbeard posted:

I have friends that I can call. But I don't really want to bother them everyday. The hormones are really getting to me this past week. I've pulled out the puzzles, the books, and the movies, but really there's not enough to keep me occupied all day long. I'm not freaking out or anything, but I think it's bad for me to worry so much. When I start worrying, then I start looking up every little detail that I can, when I should probably be distracting myself.

Honestly, there's not a lot of positive stories about twins out there. Everyone I've talked to has horror stories, and there's really not a lot of good resources specifically about twins.

I'm a twin and my mother raised my sister and I herself. She breastfeed and cloth diapered us for a year, and is generally a very informative person without being in your face. If you need any stories and anything I can relay them for her. There are also a few other goon parents with twins that can be helpful.

For the hormone worries, what I found helpful was either taking a long soak in the tub with a good book, or biking or hiking if you aren't on bedrest. I rode my bike till I was just over 7 months pregnant, I did get a lot of poo poo from people when they realized I wasn't just a fatty, but gently caress them. The more active I kept, the less I had to brood over everything, like the fact we were going to be moving and house hunting during the end of my pregnancy, the lovely OB I had for the first half, and the fact that me and my husband are both still in school. As an added bonus it also kept my mind over my terrible morning sickness that lasted till I gave birth.

Eggplant Wizard
Jul 8, 2005


i loev catte
My friend just had her 10 week ultrasound and there was no heartbeat :( She and her husband had been trying for almost a year before she got pregnant, too, and they were really excited. They're also about to move (like, in 2 weeks) to a new town, 4 hours from their family & perhaps 6 from all their friends where I am. So they'll be in a new place, with new jobs, without local friends & family. I can't even imagine how hard this is going to be for them.

I guess I would like any input on how I can help or what I can say. I think the answer is just be willing to listen and not pushy about spending time together (They seem to want to be left alone for the time being, so I haven't even responded to the email they sent to me & our other friends with the news...).

Fionnoula
May 27, 2010

Ow, quit.

Eggplant Wizard posted:

My friend just had her 10 week ultrasound and there was no heartbeat :( She and her husband had been trying for almost a year before she got pregnant, too, and they were really excited. They're also about to move (like, in 2 weeks) to a new town, 4 hours from their family & perhaps 6 from all their friends where I am. So they'll be in a new place, with new jobs, without local friends & family. I can't even imagine how hard this is going to be for them.

I guess I would like any input on how I can help or what I can say. I think the answer is just be willing to listen and not pushy about spending time together (They seem to want to be left alone for the time being, so I haven't even responded to the email they sent to me & our other friends with the news...).

The best response is the most honest. I'm so sorry, I can't express it. I don't know what to say, but I'm here for you if you want to cry or rage or whatever...

Respond to their email, and check in with them frequently in the coming weeks and months in just a sort of "I'm thinking of you, let me know if you need or want anything" kind of way. It isn't pushy to send an email saying you're there for them. I wasn't really up to being around people for a while after my son was stillborn, but I did appreciate people sending flowers, cards, and emails telling me they were thinking of us.

I would definitely avoid any kind of overly optimistic response. Hearing people say things like "You can always try again" and "One day you'll have another baby." was INCREDIBLY painful and felt like I was being punched in the stomach. I didn't want to try again, and I certainly didn't want another baby, I wanted THAT ONE.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:

Hi, guys! Incoming wall of text, sorry: skip it if you don't want to read about tricky labor and deliveries.

So yeah, we did a C-section. The doctors whisked her away to the NICU; she was on a breathing tube for ~48 hours; it was scary as hell. Then she perked right up and has been completely fine.

Your problems weren't neccesarily caused by the medication. I took nothing but was hospitalized for premature labor, finally popped at just under 37 weeks, then had trouble dialating. Bug was put in an incubator for a week for oxygen, with 2 weeks in the NICU total. Babies born early often have weak lungs. It sounds like they were very attentive to the problems and moved things through calmly and efficiently.

It's very likely your doctor will want to do the 2nd delivery by C-section. That will remove a lot of the variables that gave you trouble the first time.

peanut fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Aug 1, 2011

legbeard
Jun 13, 2006

Idonie posted:

I have two different acquaintances who have happy, healthy twins -- I'll ask them where they looked for resources during their pregnancies...
As to the distraction thing -- I can't remember, but are you on bedrest?...
what do *you* do for fun?

I'd really appreciate that. I've only found a couple websites, but they are both limited and say pretty much the same things. What I'd really like is some good book recommendations.

I'm not on bed rest, but I have been told to not do a lot of things. I have not been working because they don't want me lifting more that 20 lbs or climbing ladders. I started spotting a bit, and they then told me I should take it real easy and not do a lot of heavy exercise, no twisting, and no sexual activity.

Usually I play darts for fun. It usually takes place at a bar, and while that's not an issue for me, people would definitely notice that I'm no longer drinking or smoking. I hadn't really decided what I was going to tell people, and I really didn't want to say anything until I got to three months. Now that I'm there, and I've discussed with the father what we are going to say, I think I might be able to play a couple times a week again. At least until I am forced onto bed rest.

Kubricize posted:

I'm a twin and my mother raised my sister and I herself. She breastfeed and cloth diapered us for a year, and is generally a very informative person without being in your face. If you need any stories and anything I can relay them for her. There are also a few other goon parents with twins that can be helpful.

Sorry in advance for all the questions, these are just some of the things I have been worried about.

I have been wondering if it was possible for me to still use cloth diapers. It seems like the amount of laundry that I would have to do would be staggering. How did your mom do it? Did she breastfeed at the same time or one after the other? How did she find time to sleep? How do you get both babies out to the car without leaving one of them alone for a minute? Did your mom work during the first year? Would she have any advice on how to continue breastfeeding while still being able to work? If I use one crib for the both of them at first, about how long will it take before I have to get them separate beds?

Kubricize
Apr 29, 2010

legbeard posted:

Sorry in advance for all the questions, these are just some of the things I have been worried about.

I have been wondering if it was possible for me to still use cloth diapers. It seems like the amount of laundry that I would have to do would be staggering. How did your mom do it? Did she breastfeed at the same time or one after the other? How did she find time to sleep? How do you get both babies out to the car without leaving one of them alone for a minute? Did your mom work during the first year? Would she have any advice on how to continue breastfeeding while still being able to work? If I use one crib for the both of them at first, about how long will it take before I have to get them separate beds?

She had us in disposables till we were about a month or so, just to get us past the newborn mecomium stage. This was 23 years ago too, so I think she had diaper service on two days of the week or something, the rest of the week she just did a load of laundry every day. It's really not that much extra, especially for tiny diapers. I was six pounds, my sister was 4 pounds 13 ounces, we both used extra small cloth diapers for months. Just soak them or rinse all the gross bits off first. I know some places are getting back into diaper service, for the whole green movement, try calling around to the hippy baby stores in your area, they should know more.

For breastfeeding, if we both woke up at the same time for boob, she would tandem nurse using the football hold. If not, she would wake one of us up before hand, empty one boob, then the other one would be stirring at that point for the other boob. She also used a pump and ended up storing gallons of milk,s he filled a chest freezer and end up donating a bunch to the preemies in the NICU. She went back to work when we were 16 months and she had a steady baby sitter. We're in Canada though so our Maternity benefits are pretty good.

For the car thing, check Craigslist or Kijiji for a double stroller, you can get them pretty cheap off that. Then just get two bucket seats/convertible seats for your car. Take one baby out and in the stroller and then the other. She said after the first couple of times, it was really quick, less than a minute for both of us. There is also a couple of pictures of her wearing us, one on the front one on the back, so that is another option if you want to go that way.

Crib- she used one crib for both of us till we were a little bit past a year old, it will depend on how much they move around. My daughter is a terrible flailer and ends up traversing her whole crib multiple times at night. After that, she used a twin bed (har har) and we slept on that with rails attached till she got bunk beds.

As for the sleep thing, sleep when they sleep if you can, the first month or so will be rough when they wake up a lot, but after that you can try to get them on a scheduale. It's not a huge deal for single babies usually but for multiples it will keep you sane.

Farrah
Jun 19, 2008

legbeard posted:

Sorry in advance for all the questions, these are just some of the things I have been worried about.

I have been wondering if it was possible for me to still use cloth diapers. It seems like the amount of laundry that I would have to do would be staggering. How did your mom do it? Did she breastfeed at the same time or one after the other? How did she find time to sleep? How do you get both babies out to the car without leaving one of them alone for a minute? Did your mom work during the first year? Would she have any advice on how to continue breastfeeding while still being able to work? If I use one crib for the both of them at first, about how long will it take before I have to get them separate beds?

I'm a twin mom and I'll just let you know my experience.

My intention was to tandem breastfeed and cloth diaper. I bought the whole kit and kiboodle for cloth diapering and gave up pretty quickly. I'm doing a load of laundry every day without diapers and that was just too much to pile on. Maybe if I had a diaper service, it'd be easier. I ordered a diaper sprayer that ended up being unusable on our toilet, so that convenience was a no-go. I ended up doing "diaper subscription" on Amazon, which is super cheap and convenient. With Amazon Mom discounts, free shipping, and no tax, an 84 pack of diapers is $15.

I got the My Breast Friend twin nursing pillow and it's just too unwieldy for me. My twins were in NICU for several weeks since they were premature (very common with twins). I pumped at home and at the hospital but my supply wasn't enough to not supplement with formula. One of the twins is nipple spoiled and will play around with breast feeding, but just doesn't want to latch on. I give him pumped milk. The other breast feeds mostly. My pediatrician stocks me up with cans of formula for free.

For a stroller, get the Baby Trend Double Snap-n-Go. You can find them used on Craiglist and at resale shops. It literally takes me less than five minutes to get the babies in and out of the car. It fits most car seats -- I got the Chicco Keyfit 30 but the Graco SnugRide (popular in this thread) and others also fit. I got a Baby Jogger City Mini Stroller for when they outgrow their car seats and I want them to sit side-by-side. I go grocery shopping with the Snap-n-Go and use a cart without a problem. Lots of people in stores will offer to help you too when you have twins. It's rare that I need to take their offers because that snap-n-go rules.

For sleeping, I got a full (not mini) cosleeper but the nurses in the NICU warned me not to let them sleep together because of SIDS. Most nights it's one in the cosleeper, one next to me in bed which is also a no-no. One of the nurses who had twins herself told me she got two mini cosleepers and put one on each side of the bed. She and her husband each had a twin to deal with through the night that way. She didn't breastfeed, so I'm sure this arrangement was easier for her since she was the only point of feeding.

Another thing I use a lot is an Itzbeen. I use this to track when I last fed, changed, gave medicine, and pumped. They have a twin version with two of them, but one does the trick for me.

I have two full sized cribs in their nursery that we use for naps mostly right now. I got the convertible cribs that become toddler beds, so they'll last for a while. I got two car seats and two high chairs, but everything else gearwise I got one. Like one swing, one bouncer, etc. They take a lot of space and they never both want to be in the same thing now.

I recommend getting a changing table with shelves/drawers. It's great to have all your stuff organized, including their liquid vitamins, bath supplies, booger equipment, etc. You really want to be as organized as possible to make the care of your twins go smoothly. It'll save your sanity to know where things are when you need them immediately.

Farrah
Jun 19, 2008
On pumping...

Rental or purchase of breast pumps and supplies are tax deductible. If you can, get an FSA (flexible spending account) if you're due in 2012 and put enough money to cover a good one. I got the Medela Freestyle which is the most portable hardcore pump you can get if you ask me. I also rented a hospital pump for a month since I wanted to pump as efficiently as possible. I think the Freestyle is as good as the hospital grade pump. "Supplies" means breast pads, storage, and cleaning supplies. Not nursing pillows.

For gently caress's sake get a hands-free bra. I switch between this and the girlgoon recommended Bravado Silk nursing bra all day long. Rarely do I wear a shirt. I'd wear the hands free bra all day if it had any support. Being able to fix dinner/empty the dishwasher/type posts like this while pumping makes this bra a must. I have two each of the Simple Wishes and Bravado. Since I'm doing laundry every day, I can wash the dirty one while wearing the clean one.

Farrah fucked around with this message at 19:46 on Aug 2, 2011

silicone thrills
Jan 9, 2008

I paint things
I just wanted to point out - I believe the new mandate that makes it so insurance must offer birth control with no copays also requires insurance companys to provide breast pumps free of charge. Its hidden in the language (I've seen a few breast pump advocates point it out)

GoreJess
Aug 4, 2004

pretty in pink

legbeard posted:


Sorry in advance for all the questions, these are just some of the things I have been worried about.

I have been wondering if it was possible for me to still use cloth diapers. It seems like the amount of laundry that I would have to do would be staggering. How did your mom do it? Did she breastfeed at the same time or one after the other? How did she find time to sleep? How do you get both babies out to the car without leaving one of them alone for a minute? Did your mom work during the first year? Would she have any advice on how to continue breastfeeding while still being able to work? If I use one crib for the both of them at first, about how long will it take before I have to get them separate beds?

Can't give you first hand experience, but real-life acquaintance of mine has twins & is managing to breastfeed & cloth diaper both of them (plus cloth diapering her toddler). Her blog is here: http://rachaelkincaid.blogspot.com/ & she's always willing to answer reader's questions. Now, she does have a husband & older stepsons that are ridiculously helpful, which is probably how she's managing all of that.

Crazy Old Clarice
Mar 5, 2007

Lefou, I'm afraid I've been eating... you.
Pregnancy thread goons, I am looking into childbirth classes and Mr. Clarice and I need your opinions. I like the sound of the Bradley Method class (I am very interested in an intervention-free labor, and since this is my first I am a total n00b who would like lots of instruction), but he is freaked out by the fact that it has (tm) all over it and thinks it sounds kind of snake-oil salesman/late night infomercial. Alternatively at least one nearby hospital claims to have a "Natural Childbirth" class. Or are there other birthing classes that we should be looking into? Parents of both genders are welcome to chime in, Mr. Clarice would like to know what fathers-to-be found helpful as well.

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist
My husband really found Bradley helpful. For one, there's a huge anatomy section that also talks about physically what is going on during childbirth. I knew most of it, but he didn't, so it was very eye opening for him. As well, there's a reason that Bradley is also called husband-coached childbirth. There is a very large focus on the participation of the father. The classes are long-- 12 weeks of once a week classes for 2-3 hours-- but for us, as first time parents wanting natural birth and also wanting a lot of research, it was great. We didn't feel overwhelmed with information, we just felt very happily prepared.

You might also want to look into Brio classes in your area. They're a spin-off of Bradley. Same ideas, probably the same methods, but not quite as strict. I have heard that they do more flexible class times and length, for example, and some more "modernized methods," whatever that refers to. Maybe your husband would prefer that?

standardtoaster
May 22, 2009
Sorry, moved to the other thread.

standardtoaster fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Aug 3, 2011

VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
There is another promotional sale going on for Udder Covers and Seven Slings:
Free Nursing Covers & Breast Pads at UdderCovers.com
Free Baby Carriers at SevenSlings.com
Use Promo Code "Breastfeeding" at Both Websites

1. Go to SevenSlings.com and/or UdderCovers.com.
2. Click on "Shop Now" and select any baby carrier, nursing cover and/or breast pads you like.
3. Once you have made your selection, you'll automatically be directed to the shopping bag.
Enter the promo code " Breastfeeding " and both companies have agreed to deduct 100% of
the cost of the carrier or nursing cover - all you pay are the shipping fees!

I ordered both of these items during a promo last year, and use them frequently. The sling is our go-to baby carrier, and the udder cover blends so well with my clothes that people often don't realize I am breastfeeding under it.

I sound like a shill for the company, but I swear I'm not. I am honestly surprised this stuff I got for so cheap has been so useful, and random people often wonder how such a simple sling can be so handy. I get a lot of compliments on both items. I got an Udder Cover in the black material with white pearly pattern, and the sling is blue with a white pattern.

brambling lass
Feb 19, 2005

A clock isn't time; it's just numbers and springs. Pay it no mind.

VorpalBunny posted:

Free Baby Carriers at SevenSlings.com

I'm interested in one of the slings -- it lists a weight limit as 35lbs, but how stable is a larger baby in the sling? My kid is ~24lbs right now, so we'd be getting it for him a little bit (he's in a must-be-held constantly phase) but mostly for the next kid later on.

Also, how accurate are the sizes? I'm almost perfectly between two sizes and I'm not sure which way to lean (I'm wanting to avoid the "size insurance" if I can).

Thanks for any help!


VVV Awesome, thanks! My kid is 14 months now, so I was hoping to get some use out of the sling for him still; he doesn't squirm much when held, so we'll see. Either way, I wanted one for baby number 2 (whenever that happens). Gonna order the larger size, yay!

brambling lass fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Aug 3, 2011

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VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

anythingbutbloo posted:

I'm interested in one of the slings -- it lists a weight limit as 35lbs, but how stable is a larger baby in the sling? My kid is ~24lbs right now, so we'd be getting it for him a little bit (he's in a must-be-held constantly phase) but mostly for the next kid later on.

Also, how accurate are the sizes? I'm almost perfectly between two sizes and I'm not sure which way to lean (I'm wanting to avoid the "size insurance" if I can).

I cannot attest to larger babies. My kid is kind of small, and we've been using it from when he was 4 months old (around 12 pounds). He's maybe 17 pounds now at 8 months old, and we still use him in the front carry kangaroo pouch position. I foresee being able to use this thing for at least another year, as the fabric is really sturdy and the seams are strong. We'll just have to switch positions to the side carry.

I would buy bigger than you need, and if it's too big you can wash it and dry it on hot to shrink it some. That's a known problem with these slings, shrinking after machine drying. We hang dry ours and have never had any problems.

Both my husband and I use the sling, so it's slightly adaptable between body types. And it's easy to put on one-handed while holding our son, and then slip him in. I use it all the time at grocery stores and stuff.

My kid doesn't squirm a lot, though, so if you have an active baby it might not be stable enough. He just kind of sits in it and watches the world go by.

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