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Yea, of the things that annoyed me about being pregnant, being asked about it wasn't one of them. Wait until someone tries to touch your stomach or when you're at the end of your pregnancy and you keep on hearing "get sleep while you can because..!". This is just the beginning so I guess take this time to enjoy it before poo poo gets really obnoxious (enjoy people's comments, that is). 
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Aug 7, 2011 15:59
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bamzilla posted:Yea, of the things that annoyed me about being pregnant, being asked about it wasn't one of them. Wait until someone tries to touch your stomach or when you're at the end of your pregnancy and you keep on hearing "get sleep while you can because..!". This is just the beginning so I guess take this time to enjoy it before poo poo gets really obnoxious (enjoy people's comments, that is). The most annoying thing I heard was actually from my husband, complaining about being too tired. It's almost always his fault too - he purposely stays up too late knowing I'm a morning person, while I go to bed early unless I'm working.
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Aug 7, 2011 16:16
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opie posted:Even that didn't bother me. I only remember one non-family member touching my stomach, and she's kind of the grandma of the office so it didn't bother me. I don't remember the "sleep while you can" stuff because my biggest complaint towards the end of both pregnancies was being in too much pain to sleep - and that's what I would tell people if they asked how I was. I got a lot of "it must suck to be pregnant during the summer" comments, but last time I said I was jut happy I could wear flipflops, and this time I just said "it's a good thing summer hasn't started yet". Where I live it rains most of the year except summer, and this year has been particularly cool temperature-wise. Also I love having my maternity leave when the weather is nice. And generally it's not flu season. Yea, no one ever touched my belly but I hear it's something that just really annoys a lot of women. We had a good summer (of '09) being pregnant. I think we lucked out. :P I actually slept like a log towards the end of my pregnancy so I lucked out there. But I still got the "NAP/SLEEP while you can~" bs like I wasn't doing it already or something.
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Aug 7, 2011 16:24
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I will come right out and say I bitched about the attention at the time, but now that she's just about 7 months old no one cares and I miss it. When you're pregnant people are all "Oh let me get that for you dear" but when your kid is screaming in a restaurant it's more like 
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Aug 7, 2011 17:26
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I like talking about the pregnancy, but I don't like the patronizing unwarranted advice/comments. "Sleep while you can, you never will again" is a really good example. I had a recent night of NO sleep due to work and school anxiety (non-baby-related) and was upset about it, but almost everyone I mentioned it to just blew it off as a pregnancy thing. Or, like, if I say food looks/sounds good, it's a CRAVING! Uh, maybe it's just time for dinner? As if I'm no longer a person, just an incubator, and literally anything I might be feeling or experiencing is because of pregnancy. I'm still ME, dammit. Anything that makes assumptions about me or how my future is going to be is unwelcome. But I like comparing pregnancy notes and talking about what our plans are (for the birth, child care, etc.). Surprisingly, I haven't gotten many negative comments about stuff like seeing a midwife or cloth diapering. I know a lot of people get poo poo about that type of stuff.
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Aug 7, 2011 17:31
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My best advice is to really learn how to let stuff like that roll off your back. You're going to get a lot of it, and it doesn't stop when the kid is born. I can't even count how often I got well-meaning but totally outdated advice ("better get rid of those cats or they'll suffocate the baby!") when Cecilia was a newborn. Thankfully, by now, most of it has died down, but I do sometimes hear lovely gems.
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Aug 7, 2011 17:56
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I think a lot of my irritation with talking about my pregnancy is specifically because of my co-workers, because when I think about it, I'm not really irritated at family and friends. I don't want to talk about pregnancy and babies every single moment, every single day at work. Like, one co-worker gets personally offended if I mention that I'm doing something that isn't EXACTLY how she did it. When she asked if I was co-sleeping, I mentioned buying a co-sleeper, and she started yelling at me that it was completely unnecessary and SHE just slept with her kids in the same bed and it was better that way, anyway, and I would regret not doing it HER way and so on and so on. It wouldn't be so bad except I have to see my co-workers every single day, and part of it may be hormones, but I'm seriously nearing my breaking point. Perhaps it would be different if my conversations with them were more like actual conversations, but it's more like, "Banana Cat, you better be doing things the same way I did, oh poo poo you're not?! Well, you're wrong and let me launch into a five-minute lecture WHY." It's too bad because there are things I'm really liking about being pregnant--right now I love lying down and having my husband put his mouth right up to my belly and talk, and feel the baby start kicking madly in response to his voice. I guess I need to just focus more on that kind of thing, and less on all the negative poo poo.
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Aug 7, 2011 18:20
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Nice to hear other people say that their 2nd trimester isn't all double rainbows and unicorns, either. I'm ~26 weeks now, I think, and my pelvis has been so achy the last few weeks, it really makes getting out and doing anything fun WAY less fun. I've been excited for months and looking forward to this 3 week film festival we have every summer (last summer I saw like 25 movies in 2 weeks). I'm know I'm a huge dork, but it's one of the highlights of my year. This year I can't get comfortable at all in a theater seat, and have only managed to suffer through a handful of films. I almost starting crying when I realized I won't get to see many movies next year either, because I'll have to find a sitter and I should still be breastfeeding at that point, too. I'm sure I'll figure out something because it's important to me, but the concrete example of just how much everything is about to change really hit home. It reminds me of some really good advice I recently got from another young parent. He said make sure to figure out how to keep what's really important to you a part of your routine, even after the baby arrives. He's a really chill, involved parent, (and a great musician) so it was nice to hear someone say it's okay to be 'selfish' in that way, even after you have a baby. Definitely my favorite baby-related advice so far. MoCookies fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Aug 7, 2011 |
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Aug 7, 2011 18:48
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Hey everybody- I am 20 weeks pregnant with twin boys - big ones too, they are measuring about 2 weeks ahead of the average size for how far along I am. :o I'm having horrible trouble with pain in my back on the right side - it's generally OK during the day when I am sitting up and moving around, but when I try to sleep I usually can't stay asleep for more than a few hours without waking up in horrible, screaming pain in my back starting at my waist going all the way up to my lower ribcage area. Anyone else have something like this? Every time I try to do things that might alleviate it - Tylenol, hot cloth, having my hubby rub the area, switching positions, etc - the effects seem nothing more than fleeting and I wind up waking up a few hours later.  Could this be from my organs putting pressure on my ribcage or something? Help.
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Aug 7, 2011 18:56
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MoCookies posted:It reminds me of some really good advice I recently got from another young parent. He said make sure to figure out how to keep what's really important to you a part of your routine, even after the baby arrives. He's a really chill, involved parent, (and a great musician) so it was nice to hear someone say it's okay to be 'selfish' in that way, even after you have a baby. Definitely my favorite baby-related advice so far. This is the kind of advice I'd like to hear. It's so depressing to hear people say over and over again that my life is over. I don't think that I have to be a martyr to be a good mother. But that's all people are telling me. I have no expirience yet, but I think that my happiness is just as important as my children's happiness. If I'm miserable and hating life, I think that will rub off on my kids and pretty much everyone else around me. I'd rather be happy and have that rub off on everyone else. In other news, I had my 3 month ultrasound a few days ago, and I'm relieved to find out that my twins are healthy and already kicking the crap out of each other! I announced my pregnancy on Facebook after my appointment and already people are trying to touch my belly. I don't care about being rude though, I just slap their hands and tell them not to touch me. If they can be rude enough to touch me without asking, then I can be rude back.
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Aug 7, 2011 21:09
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legbeard posted:I announced my pregnancy on Facebook after my appointment and already people are trying to touch my belly. I don't care about being rude though, I just slap their hands and tell them not to touch me. If they can be rude enough to touch me without asking, then I can be rude back. With people touching me, I'm a combat vet with some PTSD. I can pull that card if I'm ever really uncomfortable with people I don't know touching me. It's kinda nice. I don't have an issue with telling people to get their hands off me, I've gotten used to it. My big "problem" with my pregnancy is I'm pretty private, and I'll announce poo poo when I'm good and ready. My sister LIVES on facebook, and announced my engagement before I got a chance to, announced my pregnancy after my mom made a post that alluded to it and someone asked, and announced she was on her way to find out the gender of our child when we specifically asked that no one say anything until WE announce it on the FB, so that we were sure everyone who should be called was called. I'm dreading her stupid updates when I'm in labor. I might not tell her until it's too late for her to post anything.
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Aug 7, 2011 22:25
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Amykinz posted:My big "problem" with my pregnancy is I'm pretty private, and I'll announce poo poo when I'm good and ready. My sister LIVES on facebook, and announced my engagement before I got a chance to, announced my pregnancy after my mom made a post that alluded to it and someone asked, and announced she was on her way to find out the gender of our child when we specifically asked that no one say anything until WE announce it on the FB, so that we were sure everyone who should be called was called. I'm dreading her stupid updates when I'm in labor. I might not tell her until it's too late for her to post anything. I have this problem with pretty much all of my family so we specifically withhold information until we are ready for them to give it to the world. My husband and I have pretty much already agreed that we aren't calling anyone to let them know I'm in labor or in the hospital until the kid has shot out of me. Its too stressful for me even thinking about having to update a ton of people or having people out in the waiting room waiting on us. I can't handle the thought of it and we want it to be OUR experience, not everyone's. This is also the same reason no one outside of my husband is attending any appointments or ultrasounds. Its not theirs, its ours.
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Aug 8, 2011 00:23
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MoCookies posted:It reminds me of some really good advice I recently got from another young parent. He said make sure to figure out how to keep what's really important to you a part of your routine, even after the baby arrives. He's a really chill, involved parent, (and a great musician) so it was nice to hear someone say it's okay to be 'selfish' in that way, even after you have a baby. Definitely my favorite baby-related advice so far. Long before I had my son, I was taking notes on how other people were raising their kids. The one thing that drove me nuts was seeing people who completely changed their lives around their kids. Don't get me wrong, if that makes you and your family happy then go for it. But I knew I would be miserable if I let go of the things I love, including traveling, camping and socializing. Within weeks of my son's birth, we were on a plane. At a few months old, I took him to a house party where he slept in a baby carrier as I mingled and celebrated with friends. I take him to many of the places I love to go and share my life with him. Sure, you have to make adjustments. When your baby decides to start babbling very loudly in the middle of an art gallery, it's best for all involved if you remove yourself. If we are out and about and he's clearly miserable or if the situation becomes inappropriate, then we leave. But I made the choice long before I had my son that our lives would continue and he would be a part of the stuff we love to do. So far, so good.
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Aug 8, 2011 01:06
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Hey thread, we had our baby this morning, and it does not have a mustache. Or really, eyebrows at all. He rules. It's awesome.
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Aug 8, 2011 03:03
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I said a few days (or weeks? but I think only days) ago that I'd talk to some people I knew about resources for people pregnant with twins. I got one book recommendation and one blog recommendation. The book is Twins! Pregnancy, Birth and the First Year of Life, Second Edition by Connie Agnew, Alan Klein & Jill Alison Ganon. Recommended by a fairly geeky woman who does a lot of reading & research; her twins just turned 4. This woman also recommended looking for local "parents of multiples" clubs; the one that she went to has monthly get togethers for people who are pregnant with twins+. The blog is: http://eatingfor3.blogspot and is written by a woman who has 19 month old twins, and apparently has a lot of "unsoliticed advice for parents-to-be" posts. I haven't read this book or looked at this blog, so I've no idea if they're actually helpful, but there you go!
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Aug 9, 2011 04:16
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Eglamore posted:Hey thread, we had our baby this morning, and it does not have a mustache. Or really, eyebrows at all.
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Aug 9, 2011 08:30
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Yeah, sorry, no energy in the last few days to post too much about it. My wife was contracting on and off this week, but was never regular. They always say you're supposed to wait until they're regular and such, so we were timing things with an iPhone app, which might actually have messed us up, because the precision made us look at it like, well, we're 7 minutes, 6 minutes...oh, 10 minutes. I guess we're not ready yet... Then we skipped right to being 2 and a half minutes apart for a solid hour, so we grabbed a ton of bags and away we went. We used a midwife the whole time and were able to use the "Alternative Birthing Center" at West Suburban in Oak Park, which was about 30 mins from the city, but it was worth it. I did the best I could to be a poor-man's doula, massaging, and compressing hips, and she did whole thing without medication. She sat in one of those birthing tubs for about 3 hours starting at 2 or so, at which point I fell asleep, only to wake up at around 4:30 when she got out because she felt like she needed to push. Pushing was probably the hardest part, honestly. She said she was surprised that while yes, it was painful, some of the early hard contractions she had before they started being regular were about as bad as anything she had during labor. Baby was born at 6:37 on Saturday morning, 8.1lbs, 20 inches long. Super adorable. He's been doing quite well. So far, he seems kinda fussy, but relatively quiet, though they say babies are mostly sleeping the first few days. Baby poop is basically tar, though mercifully, it only lasted for a day or so. I don't know how I'm not annoyed by crying, but I find it cute. Only when our baby does it though. Here's a tiny picture. 
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Aug 9, 2011 17:45
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I'm 37 weeks and 90% effaced and 2.5 cm dilated, so whoo for me. I have no idea what station the baby is at, other than "wow, he's really low." We still haven't packed a bag yet and I'm trying to remember what should go in it. Right now: Basic toiletries Change of clothes for everyone Chapstick Water bottle A couple of granola bars Ipod Camera Lotion Aromatherapy stuff I'm sure I'm missing something, what do you guys recommend? Also, if you have stories about how you were 2.5 cm at 37 weeks and went on to have the baby the next week, that would be pretty awesome. I'm worried I'll be stalled here until at least my due date. 
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Aug 9, 2011 18:46
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Brennanite posted:
You're probably including it with your change of clothes but extra socks! And don't forget extra batteries for your camera. Hang in there, you're almost there!
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Aug 9, 2011 19:10
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large fluffy towels A boppy, and a nightgown/oversized shirt with buttons down the front or a low scoop neck if you plan on breastfeeding.
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Aug 9, 2011 19:13
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iPod charger  I've never done the whole baby having thing, but there's nothing like settling in to kill time with your ipod and then suddenly it goes gently caress YOU 2% BATTERY :dies: Congratulations new parents 
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Aug 9, 2011 19:21
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Bags of snacks like nuts and dried fruits were a godsend to me. Easy energy! Edit: And speaking of dried fruits, there is a reason many hospitals offer prunes and other dried fruits to women having just given birth. My advice: Eat them. Eat all the prunes. bilabial trill fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Aug 9, 2011 |
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Aug 9, 2011 19:23
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A lot of the music and snacks and stuff are nice to have, but we brought a bunch of that stuff and basically ignored it all until the baby arrived. Still though, you'll be stuck in a hospital so bring stuff to keep you from being bored. The baby will do a good job of that, but still. YES to the boppy, it was the one thing we really regretted not having. Also, you MIGHT want to bring your own pillow or blankets, because the hospital's will be crap. Sorry I can't contribute an early baby story. We were at 41 weeks with 5 days to go till induction. The worst thing about pregnancy is that all the signs you think you recognize may not really matter in your case. Everyone has a different experience. Then again, you probably didn't have a father-in-law stop by for "one night" and have his car break down and stay for a week. We had thought the baby was going to be early, but, uh...contractions kinda stopped for about 3 weeks there. yay stress! Still, we went from about 1cm to baby in a matter of days, so being at 2.5 is probably a good sign!
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Aug 9, 2011 19:50
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Brennanite posted:I'm sure I'm missing something, what do you guys recommend? Books! Or an e-reader. (Yes, I know this might just be me, but my daughter slept a ton the first few days and so I had time to read.) Also, hospital air is dry dry dry, so you might want to pick up some of that saline spray for your nose -- I think the brand name is Ocean but there are tons of cheap generics. That's the one thing I really wished I'd had; I asked the nurses and they could give me little tiny tubes of saline but nothing designed for my nose, which got so dry that it bled.
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Aug 9, 2011 22:47
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Revenant77 posted:You're probably including it with your change of clothes but extra socks! And don't forget extra batteries for your camera. Hang in there, you're almost there! Of course I remembered socks. Who forgets socks? *quietly slips socks into bag* Bamzilla posted:large fluffy towels I had not even thought of bringing the boppy. I bet it would make a nice pillow/neck support during labor too. Anything has to be better than those fake hospital pillows. Eggplant Wizard posted:
Charger added. I don't know how much good it will do, they don't like you stealing their outlets. (The nurse who gave the tour explained it was really a stupid cost-cutting measure and most of the nurses couldn't care less if you used an outlet or two.) Panne posted:Bags of snacks like nuts and dried fruits were a godsend to me. Easy energy! Okay, now you're just making me hungry. Also, I like prunes. I'm weird. Idonie posted:Books! Or an e-reader. (Yes, I know this might just be me, but my daughter slept a ton the first few days and so I had time to read.) Books are a really good suggestion. I love reading and if I have any non-sleeping, non-baby care time, reading would be a nice way to pass the time. Whew! I think I covered everyone. There was a lot of good advice that I hadn't thought of. I appreciate the attempted cheer Eglamore. Helps counter the "oh, I was at 2.5 cm for the last month" of my MIL. 
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Aug 10, 2011 06:42
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So is it common to stay in the hospital for several days after the baby is born? I figured I'd go home asap unless there is bad tearing.
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Aug 10, 2011 07:17
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Tesla Insanely Coil posted:So is it common to stay in the hospital for several days after the baby is born? I figured I'd go home asap unless there is bad tearing. 2 days recovery for vaginal delivery, 3-5 days for C-section is what our hospital was. We were in for 3, for my C-section.
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Aug 10, 2011 07:22
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Tesla Insanely Coil posted:So is it common to stay in the hospital for several days after the baby is born? I figured I'd go home asap unless there is bad tearing. I think it depends on the hospital. The advantage of staying for a few days is that you can get help with breastfeeding. My hospital has a "patient hotel" where you get a private room, so I liked staying there for the 3 (or was it 4?) days we were there. I think if I had been in a regular ward I'd have wanted to go home earlier.
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Aug 10, 2011 08:40
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Tesla Insanely Coil posted:So is it common to stay in the hospital for several days after the baby is born? I figured I'd go home asap unless there is bad tearing. I'm in the states and its a 24 hour stay if you have a vaginal delivery and everyone is healthy as a horse. I've had friends who were actually only there about 18 hours after the baby popped out though since they were in a rush to get patients checked out. The stay bumps up to 72 hours if you have a c-section.
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Aug 10, 2011 13:38
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Tesla Insanely Coil posted:So is it common to stay in the hospital for several days after the baby is born? I figured I'd go home asap unless there is bad tearing. We checked into the hospital Friday evening, had the baby Saturday at 12:04pm, and checked out Monday at noon. They told us if she had been born 5 minutes earlier, we could have checked out on Sunday but since we have to be there a minimum of 24 hours after the baby is born, we had to stay until Monday. I'm glad it worked out the way it did because it really was good to have the extra help with breastfeeding. Edit: And the hospital check outs were at noon. That might make more sense now. Revenant77 fucked around with this message at 13:55 on Aug 10, 2011 |
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Aug 10, 2011 13:45
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I think it depends on the hospital too. I checked out a day before i was supposed to with all three of my kids. Just had to sign a waiver. I had tons of support at home, and i figured if I was going to be completely unable to sleep I would rather be not sleeping at my own house.
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Aug 10, 2011 14:03
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^ It's definitely highly dependent upon the hospital. Also, the timing. I assume you're in for a shorter amount of time if they're desperate for spare beds/rooms.Bahunter22 posted:I'm in the states and its a 24 hour stay if you have a vaginal delivery and everyone is healthy as a horse. I've had friends who were actually only there about 18 hours after the baby popped out though since they were in a rush to get patients checked out. The stay bumps up to 72 hours if you have a c-section. I was in with a fairly uneventful vaginal birth, a tiny tear, for 3 nights and 4 days. I gave birth (went in at 3am with contractions) Wednesday and was discharged Saturday night. Charlotte had the cord around her neck and pooped on the way out, but that isn't completely abnormal. Isn't birth beautiful. bamzilla fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Aug 10, 2011 |
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Aug 10, 2011 15:25
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So I had my first scan today. I thought I was nearly 12 weeks, but it turns out I'm only 10. Sounds weird but it worried me slightly. What if the baby is just growing slowly or something? Is it really possible to mess up the dates by two whole weeks? drat my irregular cycles. All seemed fine other than that. It was cool to see the heartbeat. So the question is, should we tell people? I know that 12 weeks is the golden rule, but some people seem to tell everyone after the first scan. Do I need to keep this big ole juicy secret for two more weeks?
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Aug 10, 2011 19:22
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I'd say, do what you feel like. I told all my close friends by week 8, but I knew if anything happened, I'd be bawling with them anyways. My sister-in-law is pregnant too, and she didn't tell a soul until 12 weeks. I got a lot of judgmental looks for telling early, but I figured why not be happy while I can?
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Aug 10, 2011 19:35
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Brennanite posted:Books are a really good suggestion. I love reading and if I have any non-sleeping, non-baby care time, reading would be a nice way to pass the time. I was surprised how much time I had to read early on, but the thing is, a newborn baby pretty much nurses, sleeps, and occasionally gets its diaper changed. There's some quiet alert time here and there, but there was really a *lot* of time when she was sleeping in my lap (I was sitting up in the hospital bed post C-section) and I could read. My hospital was 48 hours for vaginal delivery, 4 days for a C-section. We went in on a Thursday morning and left Monday morning. I was immensely, immensely grateful for those four days; it was so nice having other people handle the meals and bring me apple juice and be on-call for breast-feeding and diapering and swaddling help.
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Aug 10, 2011 21:57
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netally posted:So I had my first scan today. I thought I was nearly 12 weeks, but it turns out I'm only 10. Sounds weird but it worried me slightly. What if the baby is just growing slowly or something? Is it really possible to mess up the dates by two whole weeks? drat my irregular cycles. I took a pregnancy test right when I thought my period should start and got a just-barely-visible positive, and when we went in for our first scan we found out we were off by about 8 days. So I'm sure 2 weeks is possible! netally posted:All seemed fine other than that. It was cool to see the heartbeat. So the question is, should we tell people? I know that 12 weeks is the golden rule, but some people seem to tell everyone after the first scan. Do I need to keep this big ole juicy secret for two more weeks? I told my closest friends as soon as we got back from the first scan, but asked them not to spread it around immediately, and then told other people at a slower rate. It would have been horrible if something had gone wrong, but I am just not the sort of person who can hide something like that from people she sees 2-3 times a week. Man, it's conversations like this that make me think I should go for the second kid *right now*.
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Aug 10, 2011 22:06
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We told a close friend right away, just in case something went wrong early in the pregnancy and I ended up in the hospital or something. I had multiple secrets to tell my family (they didn't know I had eloped a few years prior) so we opted to spring it all on everyone after the first trimester. I liked being in the hospital, having meals brought to me and stuff. But we had awesome insurance that covered 99.9% of our stay. And all I wanted to do was sleep. I brought magazines, an ipod, etc - I didn't use any of it. I did use my laptop, but just to check email quickly and I posted a few times on the forums.
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Aug 10, 2011 22:21
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bamzilla posted:^ It's definitely highly dependent upon the hospital. Also, the timing. I assume you're in for a shorter amount of time if they're desperate for spare beds/rooms. I wish it were that long. Maybe its different in our state, who knows. I know with all of my nieces and my nephew they were out within 24 hours. I take that back, they kept them in when my eldest niece was born because her labs were slightly off. She got to stay an extra day with her, but had it not been for that it would have been wham, bam, thank you ma'am. I have another question - has anyone had success with scoliosis and epidurals before? I read that it might not be possible and I'm a little worried about it now.
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Aug 11, 2011 01:33
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Bahunter22 posted:I have another question - has anyone had success with scoliosis and epidurals before? I read that it might not be possible and I'm a little worried about it now. As a matter of fact I do! It was one of the few questions I asked the anesthesiologist when I was getting my epidural. I have a S curvature but it was never bad enough for a brace or surgery. When I brought it up he asked if I had any fused vertebra but if not, then he wasn't concerned. So, your case may be different and you should definitely bring it up but it is possible to still get one.
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Aug 11, 2011 05:33
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I'm having a poo poo ton of tooth pain and fear I may need to get a root canal. I just researched and it seems like it's very safe to get emergency dental work done during pregnancy, but only during your second trimester, which I've just entered. But I'm still nervous. Anyone else have to do dental work besides a normal cleaning?
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Aug 11, 2011 11:28
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