Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

No Safe Word posted:

No one can convince me that Randall Cunningham wasn't the greatest quarterback of all time, I know what I saw.

Cunningham was QB Eagles and, well, I know what I saw too.

# ? Sep 23, 2011 06:09

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 07:45

BackInTheUSSR: Jun 22, 2004; 1.5 HR/9
ACE

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/sabermetrics-moneyball-stat-geeks-are-ruining-sports-092211 Goodnight, folks!

# ? Sep 23, 2011 21:52

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

BackInTheUSSR posted:

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/sabermetrics-moneyball-stat-geeks-are-ruining-sports-092211 Goodnight, folks!

Welcome to last page!

# ? Sep 23, 2011 22:56

BackInTheUSSR: Jun 22, 2004; 1.5 HR/9
ACE

Oh rats I did a link search and it hadn't been linked to

# ? Sep 24, 2011 06:39

hcreight: Mar 19, 2007; My name is Oliver Queen...

Bill Simmons needs to stop referencing sabermetric stats until he can stop turning them into TV analogies.

quote:

Q: The Grantland staff's buying/selling gimmick (described in your Week 2 column) reminded me of something I've started to do recently: using the concept of WAR (wins above replacement) in all aspects of my life. For instance, when my girlfriend asked how a softball game went and I told her "high WAR" to sum up a great night at the plate with solid defense. But what I've found is even better is using WAR to describe the people around me, e.g., My buddy Alex's old girlfriend was uncool and replacement level or 1.0 WAR at best, but his current girlfriend is a 7.5, that's MVP level and he should hang on to this one. Thoughts?
� Zeph, Corona Del Mar

SG: I think you're onto something. Chuck Klosterman wrote about "Rock VORP" for Grantland in June, but WAR works better than VORP (value over replacement) because it's easier to digest: Start at 0.0, anything in the 7's is good, the 8-9 range is great and 10+ is Hall of Fame caliber. For instance, at dinner the other night, a friend said that Two Broke Girls (a new CBS sitcom) was surprisingly entertaining and joked that it had a higher VORP than you could have expected from that 9:30 p.m. Monday slot. In other words, anything CBS threw on at 9:30 was getting a good rating after Two And a Half Men � like how any decent slugger can finish with 95 RBI with three 400+ OBP guys batting in front of him � but Two Broke Girls could also succeed in a fake parallel universe that measures TV success with sabermetric stats.

Had the friend added, "I'd give the show a 7.3 WAR," it would have been even easier to understand his point, right? Keeping that analogy going, the saber junkies in this parallel universe would have destroyed "lucky time slot" sitcoms like Wings, Night Court, Caroline in the City, The Single Guy and Suddenly Susan for having deceivingly good stats and a shockingly low WAR; decided that Conan O'Brien was overrated (because Leno's high lead-in artificially skewed his 12:30 a.m. ratings, he couldn't generate decent ratings without that lead-in); and pointed out that Jon Stewart had a ridiculously high WAR (because he succeeded no matter what Comedy Central was sticking before and after him). And I'm pretty sure they would have made Friday Night Lights their Tim Raines cause.

hcreight fucked around with this message at 07:47 on Sep 24, 2011

# ? Sep 24, 2011 07:45

St1cky: Aug 16, 2005; Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mike Alden, supergenius.

Moose Bigelow posted:

Another Moneyball is stupid article from Mr. Oozing pumpkin. I'm pasting it so you don't give him the hits he wants.

Statistics and numbers are for nerds :allears:

. Now it just needs some sentences on how intangibles are more important than anything even though you can't define them.

# ? Sep 24, 2011 17:10

Nut Bunnies: May 24, 2005; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/!/richarddeitsch/status/117703321946570752

quote:

Deadspin announced today at #bwb4 that they have met with Jay Mariotti about writing a sports media column for the site.

Deadspin is trying to be the sportswriting version of Al Qaeda at this point

# ? Sep 24, 2011 22:00

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Jay Mariotti? Deadspin?

I honestly don't see what's in this for Jay.

# ? Sep 24, 2011 23:07

Groucho Marxist: Dec 9, 2005; Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?

Crazy Ted posted:

Jay Mariotti? Deadspin?

I honestly don't see what's in this for Jay.

A paycheck

# ? Sep 24, 2011 23:11

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

There are no depths Deadspin can sink to that will surprise me at this point.

# ? Sep 24, 2011 23:24

gardenald: Jul 23, 2007; In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

hcreight posted:

Bill Simmons needs to stop referencing sabermetric stats until he can stop turning them into TV analogies.

Also he's wrong because Night Court owned

# ? Sep 25, 2011 16:14

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Sash! posted:

Cunningham was QB Eagles and, well, I know what I saw too.

Bob Nelson was the greatest defensive lineman of all time. I know what I saw.

(Just got back from Moneyball. Best baseball nerd movie ever. :3:

)

# ? Sep 26, 2011 04:28

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

hcreight posted:

Bill Simmons needs to stop referencing sabermetric stats until he can stop turning them into TV analogies.

Simmons needs to stop shoehorning things into tv adn movie analogies in general.

Though this will probably drop the volume of his output by quite a bit.

# ? Sep 26, 2011 04:56

Nut Bunnies: May 24, 2005; Fun Shoe

MorningView posted:

There are no depths Deadspin can sink to that will surprise me at this point.

Why 9/11 Needs To Happen Again Except A Million Times Bigger Also Some Musings on Peyton Manning by AJ Daulerio

# ? Sep 26, 2011 06:01

Rousimar Pauladeen: Feb 27, 2007; I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA

Toffile posted:

Simmons needs to stop shoehorning things into tv adn movie analogies in general.

Though this will probably drop the volume of his output by quite a bit.

This is just like the time on Jimmy Kimmel where Billy Zabka

# ? Sep 26, 2011 06:42

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

I would like to read an article about the mythical man who is both a fan of deadspin and interested in what Jay Mariotti has to say about sports.

# ? Sep 26, 2011 06:43

morestuff: Aug 2, 2008; You can't stop what's coming

I'm over halfway through the ESPN oral history, Those Guys Have All The Fun, and it's a pretty good read so far. I'd recommend it if you're at all interested in sports journalism; it's a little undercooked in spots, but it gives an interesting look into how ESPN came to be where they are today.

There's one anecdote that just kills me, though. They asked David Halberstam to write an introduction to a book they were producing based on the SportsCentury series, and he surprised them when he came back with an 80+ page, 47k-word treatise on sports in the 20th century.

Because it came in late and Halberstam was more or less working on his own, they'd only allotted something like 5 pages for the introduction. They ended up cutting the entire piece down to under 1000 words.

I'd kill to read the original version of that. Halberstam rules.

# ? Sep 26, 2011 17:38

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Does Twitter count as journalism? Because if so, insufferable douchebag Jeff ~~Suppan~~ Passan has a series of tweets condemning John Lackey for divorcing his cancer-stricken wife.

Passan frustrates the hell out of me because he's really quite intelligent, but he so frequently takes the lazy route and just churns out bullshit.

FairGame fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Sep 26, 2011

# ? Sep 26, 2011 17:44

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

FairGame posted:

Does Twitter count as journalism? Because if so, insufferable douchebag Jeff Suppan has a series of tweets condemning John Lackey for divorcing his cancer-stricken wife.

Passan frustrates the hell out of me because he's really quite intelligent, but he so frequently takes the lazy route and just churns out bullshit.

did you mean jeff suppan, terrible pitcher, or jeff passan, smarmy bullshit artist?

# ? Sep 26, 2011 17:52

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

did you mean jeff suppan, terrible pitcher, or jeff passan, smarmy bullshit artist?

gently caress. I used both. I meant Passan, the SU graduate that does his best to make all Newhouse kids look like a bunch of smarmy fucks (which isn't far from the truth, but still!)

# ? Sep 26, 2011 17:56

leokitty: Apr 5, 2005; I live. I die. I live again.

Passan is one of those MVP by Fangraphs WAR guys I think. That is the laziest.

# ? Sep 26, 2011 17:59

The broken bones: Jan 3, 2008; Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.

He is also the guy who goes back and corrects his articles and admits when he's wrong, and sportswriting could use some of those guys.

# ? Sep 27, 2011 00:21

leokitty: Apr 5, 2005; I live. I die. I live again.

The broken bones posted:

He is also the guy who goes back and corrects his articles and admits when he's wrong, and sportswriting could use some of those guys.

When I wrote him a note about there being no Game 7 of the 2003 World Series when he wrote this abysmal Josh Beckett Is The Best Postseason Pitcher Ever article it was fixed with a correction note, I assume I wasn't the only nerd to point that out :colbert:

# ? Sep 27, 2011 00:30

ElwoodCuse: Jan 11, 2004; we're puttin' the band back together

FairGame posted:

gently caress. I used both. I meant Passan, the SU graduate that does his best to make all Newhouse kids look like a bunch of smarmy fucks (which isn't far from the truth, but still!)

He was there when I was

# ? Sep 27, 2011 00:33

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

FairGame posted:

Does Twitter count as journalism? Because if so, insufferable douchebag Jeff ~~Suppan~~ Passan has a series of tweets condemning John Lackey for divorcing his cancer-stricken wife.

That's a lovely thing to do but hardly anyone's business.

# ? Sep 27, 2011 15:21

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Frangraph's best article this year is not about baseball http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/in-sickness-and-in-health/

# ? Sep 27, 2011 15:34

GoutPatrol: Oct 17, 2009; *Stupid Babby*

toadee posted:

Frangraph's best article this year is not about baseball http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/in-sickness-and-in-health/

Granted what Lackey is doing sounds like Newt Gingrich levels of douche but that article is hilarious in a spergy-way.

# ? Sep 27, 2011 22:09

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

I feel like there should be a website called LOOK AT THIS loving DAN SHAUGHNESSY COLUMN

quote:

Distressing day, that�s for sure

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. - We are reeling. Our world no longer makes sense. The Patriots can�t even beat the Buffalo Bills anymore.

In a skittish September of cataclysmic Red Sox freefall, we still had the Patriots over the Bills. It was right there with death, taxes, and the first penalty in Montreal. Just as Rick and Ilsa always had Paris, we always had the Patriots over the Bills. It was a sure thing.

But now it�s all gone. On a day when Tom Brady was intercepted four times, the Patriots blew a 21-0 lead and lost to the Bills, 34-31, in front of 68,174 long-suffering witnesses at Ralph Wilson Stadium. The Patriots had beaten the Bills 15 consecutive times since 2003.

Making matters worse, the giddy locals rubbed it in by playing �Livin� On a Prayer,�� and �Sweet Caroline�� over the loudspeaker system.

Yeesh. You know it�s bad when they are mocking you in Buffalo.

The Patriots collapsed in the same moment that the Sox were choking away another game in New York. As the footballers packed for their flight home, fans back in New England faced the hard truth that the only man standing in the way of a region�s abject humiliation was . . . John Lackey.

Wow. Have there been worse days in the history of New England sports? Maybe the night Buddy LeRoux staged a Fenway coup when the Sox were supposed to be honoring Tony Conigliaro? Maybe the day John Y. Brown bought the Celtics? Maybe the day Harry Frazee thought it would be a swell idea to sell Babe Ruth?

This was a shocker. On a day when Brady threw for another four touchdowns and 387 yards . . . on a day when Wes Welker caught 16 passes for a franchise-record 217 yards . . . on a day when Rob Gronkowski caught another pair of touchdowns . . . the Patriots blew a 21-0 lead to the Buffalo Bills.

It was a day when the �bend-but-don�t-break�� defense finally broke. Big-time. In the spirit of his old school fight song (�Fight fiercely Harvard - demonstrate to them our skill��), Buffalo quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick burned the lightweight New England secondary for 27 completions and 369 yards. The clunky finish was particularly galling as a series of New England blunders resulted in Fitzpatrick taking a bunch of knees, bleeding the clock as Patriots coach Bill Belichick came apart on the sideline.

It looked like the Patriots would have one last crack with 1:48 remaining when Fred Jackson appeared to stretch across the goal line on a 38-yard pass play. Had the touchdown been allowed, the Patriots would have trailed by 7 but would have had ample time to tie the game and win in overtime. Unfortunately for New England, the play was reviewed. The Bills lost the TD, but gained valuable clock time. First-and-goal from a half-yard away.

When Belichick learned of the reversal, he frantically called his second timeout. It looked chaotic, but referee Carl Cheffers explained, �The clock was going to start.��

It was an unusually frantic scene and folks watching wondered if the Patriots had unnecessarily burned one of their precious timeouts.

Asked if there was any miscommunication in that moment, Belichick said, �I took it . . . I took a timeout. I went down to call a timeout. What don�t you understand about that?��

Even by his stoic standard, Hoodie�s postgame news conference was brief. Ten questions. Ten terse answers, the most expansive of which was, �We�ve got to do a better job.��

Brady was ever diplomatic, not easy for a guy who matched his entire 2010 interception total in one game.

�It�s tough to overcome as many mistakes as we had,�� said the quarterback, now 17-2 lifetime against the Bills. �They made some good plays on the ball. Some days the ball bounces in the air and goes away. Some days it doesn�t. We had our opportunities.��

The interceptions were not all his fault. One bounced out of Danny Woodhead�s hands. The second one was intended for Chad Ochocinco, who apparently failed to stick to his route (maybe he was in awe). The third one was slightly underthrown to Gronkowski. The last one, a pick-6, was tipped at the line by Marcell Dareus and run back by Drayton Florence.

Not a great day for New England�s high-profile pickups of 2011. Albert Haynesworth was invisible for a second consecutive week (this time Haynesworth was officially inactive with a back injury). Ochocinco dropped a sure touchdown pass in the fourth quarter.

�Sometimes they catch �em, sometimes they drop �em,�� said Brady. �Hopefully we learn from this and move on. We�ve gotta play for 60 minutes. Today we had too many turnovers and too many penalties.��

They had four turnovers. They had eight penalties. On the second day of autumn, they ruined our summer.

And a Nation turned its lonely eyes to John Lackey.

# ? Sep 28, 2011 03:43

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Crazy Ted posted:

I feel like there should be a website called LOOK AT THIS loving DAN SHAUGHNESSY COLUMN

This...this is delicious.

# ? Sep 28, 2011 03:46

DO YALL WANT A BOXC: Jul 20, 2010; HAHA! WOOOOOOO WOOO!; Fun Shoe

Crazy Ted posted:

I feel like there should be a website called LOOK AT THIS loving DAN SHAUGHNESSY COLUMN

sort of like this?

although i'm not sure it's as hostile as you want(or shank deserves)

# ? Sep 28, 2011 06:26

LARGE THE HEAD: Sep 1, 2009; "Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden

We'd be hard-pressed to find a worse writer for a national publication than Shaughnessy, especially now that Mariotti's no longer in journalism.

# ? Sep 28, 2011 09:17

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Someone should just email him a huge picture of that ESPN Boston Magazine.

# ? Sep 28, 2011 14:06

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

This popped up on my google news and I clicked on it, ugh:

http://crosscut.com/2011/10/05/seattle-mariners/21379/Adrian-Beltre:-No-thanks-from-Seattle,-the-one-city-you-let-down/

quote:

Psssst! Beltre! Hey, thanks from Seattleites . . . For nothing.

When the Seattle Mariners acquired Adrian Beltre, the third-baseman, who had three dingers against Tampa Bay Tuesday (Oct. 4) to lead the Texas Rangers to the next playoff level, he was 26 and coming off what many would say was the greatest season ever played by a hot-corner guy. His 2004 stats eclipsed the best numbers ever put up by Mike Schmidt, George Brett, and Brooks Robinson: perhaps the three best third-sackers ever. Beltre also had fewer errors for a season than any of the above ever recorded.

For the Dodgers in 2004, Beltre played 155 games at third and another at shortstop. He had 121 runs batted in, hit .334 and Beltred, er, belted a big-league-high 48 long balls.

Then Beltre came to play at Safeco Field and his numbers dropped like tiles from the ceiling of the old Kingdome. During his five years here, he never had more than 26 home runs and 99 RBI. His best batting average was .276. After an injury-ridden �08 swan season in Seattle, he moved to Boston, where he immediately had impact: .321, 102 and 28, plus leading the league in doubles.

Now, with Texas, Beltre is exhibiting the post-season heroics that never happened in Seattle, possibly because he played here during a localized 21st-century version of the Dead Ball Era.

But how could his lack of production on offense also account for the simultaneous drop-off in defensive numbers when he arrived here in �05? In Los Angeles in 2004, he registered just 10 errors at third: fewer than the best D-years of the above mentioned three. For the M�s, he never had fewer than 14.

Obviously nobody believes that Beltre came to Seattle planning to play worse than he had in Los Angeles. Nor could anyone prove that he went to Boston and Texas for the sole purpose of showing that he could do better than what he did here. How, then, does one explain his abrupt up-down-up turn-arounds during his time in L.A., Seattle, Boston, and Arlington, Texas? Was it just because the crummy M�s posed an uninspiring environment? The �04 Dodgers, after all, won 93 games and a division title.

The only other apparent answer is that there isn�t any answer. Beltre simply didn�t perform in Seattle nearly as well as he has everywhere else. That conclusion is easily quantified.

How is it qualified? Did Beltre, presumably in his career prime during his Seattle years, have some reason to under-perform? Night after night we watched him live at Safeco and on TV here and elsewhere appearing at the plate to be inferior to the Beltre who played with the �04 Dodgers. Knowing that he was contractually obligated to play here, why didn�t he strive to do better?

Texas Rangers partisans must be ecstatic knowing they�re going into the American League Championship Series and possibly the World Series with a five-hole guy who evidently wanted to win so much that he hit three solo home-runs Tuesday to assure his club�s one-run victory. Didn�t you want to win that badly in Seattle, Beltre? If so, why did you put up what have been by far your worst career numbers here?

You�re a mere 32 years old, Beltre. You don�t project to career numbers that would indicate Hall of Fame consideration. If you did, it�s pretty easy to conclude that you wouldn�t take entry in a Mariners uniform because, for whatever reason, you never even played here like an All Star Game reserve.

Good luck the rest of the way, Beltre and, again, thanks for nothing.

Beltre hit 3 home runs in one playoff game, why didn't you do this for us, Adrian? You committed 10 errors one season at third!

Ugh, I dunno who Mike Henderson is, but he used to write for the Seattle PI, the Times and the Everett Herald. Good thing he's nowhere near one of those publications now.

# ? Oct 6, 2011 05:11

LARGE THE HEAD: Sep 1, 2009; "Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden

seiferguy posted:

This popped up on my google news and I clicked on it, ugh:

http://crosscut.com/2011/10/05/seattle-mariners/21379/Adrian-Beltre:-No-thanks-from-Seattle,-the-one-city-you-let-down/

Beltre hit 3 home runs in one playoff game, why didn't you do this for us, Adrian? You committed 10 errors one season at third!

Ugh, I dunno who Mike Henderson is, but he used to write for the Seattle PI, the Times and the Everett Herald. Good thing he's nowhere near one of those publications now.

It comes off as very whiny but this could have been salvageable if the writer linked Beltre's lackluster offensive performance as a Mariner to the many other lovely acquisitions of hitters that never panned out. Scott Spiezio should be the start.

# ? Oct 6, 2011 05:54

OKCecil: Dec 9, 2003; INTERNET PANHANDLER

Not even kidding, I've had two classes with Henderson. Awesome teacher, but...shiiit, man.

# ? Oct 6, 2011 06:22

Crion: Sep 30, 2004; baseball.

I don't really know if this counts as sports journalism because I don't give anyone a blowjob for playing the right way, but:

http://www.mrdestructo.com/2011/10/seven-games-in-september-part-i.html

The thing I posted in that thread that one time last week has been cleaned up, fact-checked, de-adverbed and generally made a lot more readable, and I will now stop posting about it forever.

# ? Oct 6, 2011 20:12

LARGE THE HEAD: Sep 1, 2009; "Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden

Go to the 8-minute mark and watch the magic happen.

# ? Oct 7, 2011 08:39

Alfred P. Pseudonym: May 29, 2006; And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

LARGE THE HEAD posted:

Go to the 8-minute mark and watch the magic happen.

They really need to put Finebaum on Around the Horn sometime.

# ? Oct 7, 2011 08:58

jyrka: Jan 21, 2005; Potato Count: 2 small potatoes

I love 'sports journalism.'

# ? Oct 7, 2011 10:53

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 07:45

Dr_Strangelove: Dec 16, 2003; Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

# ? Oct 7, 2011 14:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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