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No way guys I meant one guy cuts off the other guy's donger and puts it in his pocket then walks up and is all "So yeah see him, he's not really a man anymore" while making suggestive eyebrow motions and thrusting one leg toward you (the leg with the extra penis).
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Oct 17, 2011 18:51
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Stop making things up and get back to book discussion, MAYTAG.
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Oct 17, 2011 19:04
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This is probably old news, but I just received an email from Amazon to say there is an update available for Dance with Dragons. You reply to the email with "Yes" and they send a version not filled with random hyphens to your Kindle. I look forward to a future of books published before editing is complete and many many subsequent patches to make them readable. A bright new dawn.
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Oct 17, 2011 20:01
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Winds of Winter beta was pretty good until they started nerfing Hodor's chapters.
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Oct 17, 2011 20:05
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Yes, I love pc games for that exact phenomenon, it certainly increases my enjoyment of the product I purchased. And that totally means the eBook version of Waltz with Wolves will just update sporadically as GRRM writes new chapters, edits old ones, shuffles the order around, and accidentally writes plot-forwarding events.
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Oct 17, 2011 20:06
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Rapey Joe Stalin posted:This is probably old news, but I just received an email from Amazon to say there is an update available for Dance with Dragons. You reply to the email with "Yes" and they send a version not filled with random hyphens to your Kindle. I haven't received any such email. This is a precursor to Canadians getting herded up and put into zoos, isn't it. 
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Oct 17, 2011 20:15
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Theon's dick'll detach and reattach every month. Is it on, is it not? Has it skin, has it not? Has he balls or has he nay? That's the mystery. That is the Song of Ice and Fire.
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Oct 17, 2011 20:15
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neongrey posted:I haven't received any such email. This is a precursor to Canadians getting herded up and put into zoos, isn't it. I hope so. It will make throwing breadcrumbs and detached penises at you and BoT more socially acceptable.
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Oct 17, 2011 20:56
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neongrey posted:I haven't received any such email. This is a precursor to Canadians getting herded up and put into zoos, isn't it. Sounds aboot right.
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Oct 17, 2011 21:02
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Don't be silly, why would Bran care about his own dick being useless or not when he has the Greatest Dick Of All Time at his disposal? Hodor is the chosen caretaker of the GDOAT of course.
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Oct 17, 2011 21:08
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bigmcgaffney posted:Don't be silly, why would Bran care about his own dick being useless or not when he has the Greatest Dick Of All Time at his disposal? Hodor is the chosen caretaker of the GDOAT of course. Hodor would rip Meera in half with his primal meat lance. Wouldn't improve relations between Winterfell and the swamp people.
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Oct 17, 2011 21:28
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mikey triumph posted:Hodor would rip Meera in half with his primal meat lance. Wouldn't improve relations between Winterfell and the swamp people. Let's try to cut down on the silliness here. They're trapped in the middle of a zombie-infested forest shortly before the start of the coldest, darkest winter in recorded history. No one will ever find her body. Thus, no loss of faction points 
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Oct 17, 2011 21:32
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bigmcgaffney posted:Don't be silly, why would Bran care about his own dick being useless or not when he has the Greatest Dick Of All Time at his disposal? Hodor is the chosen caretaker of the GDOAT of course. That's true, he can always mind-rape Hodor then proxy-rape Meera.
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Oct 17, 2011 22:36
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Those chapters do seem to be leading towards Bran getting his rape on.
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Oct 17, 2011 22:36
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IRQ posted:I hope so. It will make throwing breadcrumbs and detached penises at you and BoT more socially acceptable. But... but I want you to throw penises at me. 
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Oct 18, 2011 00:51
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neongrey posted:But... but I want you to throw penises at me. Once you're in the zoo, we can make it happen. Before then, well, the world just doesn't understand the ways of the Wildcards.
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Oct 18, 2011 01:15
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Speaking of important themes in the series, I am learning new things about ASOIAF from Access Hollywood.quote:While one of Cersei’s brothers is in King’s Landing, the other – her twin and lover — Jamie Lannister, is now in the hands of The Starks and Lena said that does funny things to her character. Cersei and Jaime: SLIGHTLY incestuous.
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Oct 18, 2011 01:44
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MeerkatHero posted:Speaking of important themes in the series, I am learning new things about ASOIAF from Access Hollywood. Well, it's not like they're getting the whole family involved...
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Oct 18, 2011 02:00
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MeerkatHero posted:Cersei and Jaime: SLIGHTLY incestuous. It's the way she's brought up. You know, getting pulled away from him after getting caught is childhood approval of incest.
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Oct 18, 2011 02:01
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neongrey posted:It's the way she's brought up. You know, getting pulled away from him after getting caught is childhood approval of incest. My only theory to explain Lena Headey's take on Cersei's upbringing is that maybe the screenwriters needed to combine some more characters, and had to merge Tywin with Craster.
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Oct 18, 2011 02:11
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MeerkatHero posted:Cersei and Jaime: SLIGHTLY incestuous.
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Oct 18, 2011 02:27
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NihilCredo posted:Pretty sure she's referring to Cersei/Lancel as the "slightly incestuous" relationship. That'd make more sense if the Cersei/Lancel relationship were going to continue into Season 2, I suppose. (IIRC the relationship didn't continue past Robert's death in the books, but this is TV, so maybe they'll get Ros the Exposition Whore to spice up their assignations and keep the flame burning a little longer?) The way the reporter has laid out the conversation, she's referring specifically to Jaime's captivity by the Starks making Jaime all crazy, but anyone who's worked on even a college paper knows that editors can move paragraphs around without the slightest regard for actual sense, so. Still wouldn't explain "it's the way she was brought up", of course.
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Oct 18, 2011 02:35
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NihilCredo posted:Pretty sure she's referring to Cersei/Lancel as the "slightly incestuous" relationship. Because they're less related if he pulls out and gives her a cummy-tummy. I still think she's not getting it. I mean she probably hasn't read the stuff, but whoever's relating the goings-on to her seems to be completely missing things.
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Oct 18, 2011 02:55
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MeerkatHero posted:(IIRC the relationship didn't continue past Robert's death in the books, Nope she kept loving him pretty much up until the day Jaime got back.
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Oct 18, 2011 04:23
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neongrey posted:I mean she probably hasn't read the stuff, but whoever's relating the goings-on to her seems to be completely missing things. It shows in her performance. She's supposed to be hugely charming, the life of the party, the gal everyone wants to gently caress. Not TRASPARENTLY EVIL.
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Oct 18, 2011 04:37
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YES bread posted:Nope she kept loving him pretty much up until the day Jaime got back. Until the day Lancel got grievously wounded during the Battle of Blackwater. So roughly around the time Jaime got released.
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Oct 18, 2011 04:45
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She's been loving Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all we know.
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Oct 18, 2011 06:18
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Just finished. Well, into the epilogue now. Jon is just as dead as the Mountain, Brienne, Bran/Rickon, and Sandor were when they were "killed". Sorry gurm, enough with the crying wolf bullshit. Speaking of poo poo, the best thing about Dany's last chapter: Won't have to read about her again for a long, long time (ever). Barristan: I kept waiting to see what "badassed" thing he was going to allegedly perform. Letdown, didn't live up to the spoiler hype. Quentyn Martell: heh. teh fail Would rather have cut a few of Dany's chapters and had more about Davos Victarion Greyjoy: Enjoyable to read, but could have been a completely separate book (minibook) "Yeah, all these hot virgins I just captured? I am fine with this chick without a tongue who I hold captive in my cabin. Just burn the hot ones. Drowned god and Rhlllrlorlorhlllor are both appeased." Tyrion: Awesome, gurm. You made me dislike my favorite character. loving absolute fucker.
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Oct 18, 2011 22:13
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In a way, ADWD is rather poetic. Before it came out, the bad thread was bad because ADWD would not come out, and then after 3 months of purgatory while how bad the book was really sunk in, the bad thread was reborn from the tear-soaked ashes of thousands of nerds' enjoyment of the series, a rancid poo poo covered phoenix, if you will.
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Oct 19, 2011 00:12
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Fog Tripper posted:
I think the whole point of Quentyn's story was to underscore the fact that you can't ride dragons unless you have dragon-rider rich people blood (Targ). This is a good lead-in story to why Jon is so special - with Stark and Targ blood, Jon is both a warg and a potential dragon rider (might even be immune to dragon fire like Dani). What did Tyrion do that made you dislike him so much? Still my favorite character.
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Oct 19, 2011 00:15
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The Quentyn thing also foreshadows a couple of interesting relations in the future - Dorne almost certainly will declare for Aegon over Dany, and Tyrion will probably be really wary about dealing with Dany/the dragons after seeing what happened to Quentyn. It'll probably even be a sore spot for him to find out that he can't ride a dragon, considering how much he wanted to ride a dragon. Discounting Tyrion Targaryen theories anyway.
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Oct 19, 2011 00:38
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mikey triumph posted:
Exactly! mikey triumph posted:I think the whole point of Quentyn's story was to underscore the fact that you can't ride dragons unless you have dragon-rider rich people blood (Targ). Look, here's the thing... I don't care. Why did I need that to be underscored? How exactly did that enrich the story for me? Why can't fire be fire and have Dany be fireproof? Why does it need to be more deep than that? Didn't the whole wholesale crisping of the folks at the arena kind of underscore the whole fire=hot=burns thing? Also, why did I need to know that Dany's poop got more stinky and runny, the more times she poo'd? There is so much extra filler poo poo (actual poo poo as well as figurative poo poo) in the last two books. Fog Tripper fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Oct 19, 2011 |
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Oct 19, 2011 00:38
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http://www.dorkly.com/article/25398/fifteen-people-youll-see-at-every-nerd-convention He sure does go to a lot of cons.
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Oct 19, 2011 00:47
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Fog Tripper posted:
Not so much underscoring the "fire immunity" power but simply that you literally can't get near a dragon unless you have enough of this one family's blood in you. Also the important implications Quentyn's death has for Dorne and its future alliances in the coming dragon-themed conflicts for Westoros, as other people mentioned. As for the filler, no doubt there. Making characters wander through wastelands when you don't know what the hell they should be doing seems to be a popular convention among commercially successful authors. Steven King does it to an insufferable degree.
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Oct 19, 2011 01:03
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mikey triumph posted:
Also, have the characters imprisoned or enslaved so that they can have no agency of their own and actually do something that matters and would actually move the plot forward
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Oct 19, 2011 01:08
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Fog Tripper posted:Exactly! He felt sorry for himself and asked where whores go a whole lot and got to hear about Jon Connington being gay for Rhaegar's anime hair. Don't forget how engaging and totally not pointless all that was.
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Oct 19, 2011 01:17
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IRQ posted:He felt sorry for himself and asked where whores go a whole lot It WAS annoying that Tyrion just drank and felt sorry for himself... which is why his meeting Penny and being brought into her life was such a character development for him. His entire life he felt sorry for himself for being a dwarf surrounded by wealthy, accomplished giants. Any wrongs commited against him, any time he didn't excel at something, he could always blame the occurrence on the disability. What Tyrion never considered before having to do Penny's mummers act was how tough it was not being wealthy and privileged, which he always took for granted. Now he has to be, on top of a dwarf, and actual commoner. He's being punished for past hubris and arrogance, just like Jaime and Theon.
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Oct 19, 2011 01:31
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mikey triumph posted:What Tyrion never considered before having to do Penny's mummers act was how tough it was not being wealthy and privileged, which he always took for granted. What's all this then? He finally realized that Penny was happier than a pig in poo poo fake jousting with her brother. In fact it finally dawns on him that she'd be happy simply being someones slave. Also, why the heck do you feel that character development was needed in the first place? Tyrion was cool just the way he was. ADWD watered him down to an insufferable fuckwit.
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Oct 19, 2011 01:49
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Tyrion's chapters weren't that bad other than the "where do whores go" bullshit. And everything after Mormont kidnapping him being horrible and boring. And Penny being as bad as a Brienne chapter.
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Oct 19, 2011 01:54
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Fog Tripper posted:Victarion Greyjoy: Enjoyable to read, but could have been a completely separate book (minibook) And there were 7 hot virgins. Little Vicky owns bones.
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Oct 19, 2011 02:01
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