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Mystery Opponent
Sep 27, 2006

but u was a real nigga
i could sense it in u

Lone Rogue posted:

But let's say, hypothetically, that you enjoyed it. Therefore, it was hypothetically a good blowjob.

Trip report : Hypothetical Blowjobs definitely not as good as Real Blowjobs

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Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW

Mega GIRL posted:



I can't be mad at Oatgan for defending Hayes. He's from Badstreet, USA. Gotta rep your homies.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat

Mystery Opponent posted:

Trip report : Hypothetical Blowjobs definitely not as good as Real Blowjobs

What about Hypothetical Fauxjobs?

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Mega GIRL posted:


Michael Hayes is a shithead and a racist by pretty much every account, but I can't fathom the leap from that to "blow me or you're fired." Sorry.

Lone Rogue posted:

I can't be mad at Oatgan for defending Hayes. He's from Badstreet, USA. Gotta rep your homies.

:respek:

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

Lone Rogue posted:

But let's say, hypothetically, that you enjoyed it. Therefore, it was hypothetically a good blowjob.

Reminds me of one of my favorite off-color jokes.

:v: I ever tell you about the worst blowjob I ever had?
:confused: ... no?
:v: It was fuckin' great!

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg

Oatgan posted:

Michael Hayes is a shithead and a racist by pretty much every account, but I can't fathom the leap from that to "blow me or you're fired." Sorry.

lol

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

Lloyd Boner posted:

lol

"He may be a racist, a backstabber, a liar but he is not, IS NOT, an advantageous sexist."

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

I don't think Hayes is smart enough for the idea of leveraging what power he has for that to even occur to him.

This sounds like a locker room rumor more than anything.

Rousimar Pauladeen
Feb 27, 2007

I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA

Timby posted:

Reminds me of one of my favorite off-color jokes.

:v: I ever tell you about the worst blowjob I ever had?
:confused: ... no?
:v: It was fuckin' great!

Hulkamatt told me about his first blowjob once. The guy came in his mouth and everything.

Grant DaNasty
Jul 17, 2006

Personally I chose to believe every rumor and scummy story in wrestling, everything from the dildo blender to Lita getting pissed on by El Dandy. So Michael Hayes getting mouth fun from a diva isn't that much of a stretch for me.

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me

Moose Bigelow posted:

Hulkamatt told me about his first blowjob once. The guy came in his mouth and everything.

John Cena's account spotted

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW

Grant DaNasty posted:

Personally I chose to believe every rumor and scummy story in wrestling, everything from the dildo blender to Lita getting pissed on by El Dandy. So Michael Hayes getting mouth fun from a diva isn't that much of a stretch for me.

My favourite wrestling rumours all involve luchadors doing grotesque things to female wrestlers (Lita/El Dandy, Woman/Luchador who bit her rear end whose name I can't remember. Actually, I'm going to assume that was El Dandy as well).

Cardboard Box
Jul 14, 2009

Wait now, what's the Lita/El Dandy story?

Grant DaNasty
Jul 17, 2006

Cardboard Box posted:

Wait now, what's the Lita/El Dandy story?

Oh wait I was mixed up.

-El Dandy's banged both Lita AND Fishman & Lola Gonzales's hot daughter.
-Lita has been pissed on by Steve Corino and Danny Doring.
-Lita took off for Mexico in the 90s and bang anyone down there that would "train" her in the ring.

Cardboard Box
Jul 14, 2009

Hahaha what. Seriously?

I guess that's not surprising.

Sue Denim
Dec 20, 2009

apsouthern posted:


You'd have to be so fickle and desperate to spend multiple tens of thousands of company dollars on unneeded talent for a single blow job.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Lita went to the beach with Corino and Doring and got stung by a jellyfish? Why is that a scandal?

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW

Cardboard Box posted:

Hahaha what. Seriously?

I guess that's not surprising.

It comes from a big list of wrestling rumours that was circulated. If you buy into the, "All rumours are true" theory, then Lita just got pissed on by a lot of wrestlers.

Grant DaNasty
Jul 17, 2006

Sue Denim posted:

You'd have to be so fickle and desperate to spend multiple tens of thousands of company dollars on unneeded talent for a single blow job.

But it's not his money, and more importantly, it is his dick.

Lone Rogue posted:

It comes from a big list of wrestling rumours that was circulated. If you buy into the, "All rumours are true" theory, then Lita just got pissed on by a lot of wrestlers.

I don't know where it was originally posted, but I found it here: http://www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=21720

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW
There's the Woman story!

quote:

There was this dude called John Arezzi who hosted a radio show and did some promoting. He promoted a AAA tour around the US and insisted on using Woman as a manager for Psicosis, because he used to be in love with her. Konnan was booking Baja California, and since he was friends with Woman (from ECW), he got her to do a small tour around Tijuana, Mexicali... After a Tijuana (I think) show everybody went back to their rooms. The TJ guys just stayed at home, Konnan shared a room with his buddies and Woman had her own room. Very late (in the midnight) somebody started screaming and pounding hard on Konnan's door. He opened the door and it was a half naked Nancy Sullivan whose face was a mess. They let her in and she told them that she got high with Metal and they were about to gently caress, but he was so loving wasted that he couldn't get it up from all the poo poo he'd been doing all day. So... he started biting her rear end realllly hard. She hit him in the face with something to get him off, he then hit her back and she just escaped as soon as she could. At the time Konnan was scared because he didn't want to get on Peña's back side by having an argument with Metal, and he was afraid it would cost him his WCW job if this got to Sullivan. Years later I told him "If Sullivan had found about it, he'd probably have gone down Mexico and cut Metal's balls off". He then said "Not really, he probably beats her up even worse"...

That last line always depresses me :smith:

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Lone Rogue posted:

Actually, I'm going to assume that was El Dandy as well).

Who are we to doubt El Dandy?

Perigryn
Oct 22, 2010

TaJaaaaadoruuuuu

Jerusalem posted:

Lita went to the beach with Corino and Doring and got stung by a jellyfish? Why is that a scandal?
That's right. Corino stepped up after Doring got stage fright! She was his friend and needed help!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Perigryn posted:

That's right. Corino stepped up after Doring got stage fright! She was his friend and needed help!

He'll be there for her, when the (golden) rain starts to fall :shobon:

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
She got stung by Aldo Montoya.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

And they helped her out in her time of need so selflessly? That's just incredible!

Sue Denim
Dec 20, 2009

Lone Rogue posted:

There's the Woman story!


That last line always depresses me :smith:
That one always seemed believable to me and I know this is silly but the way that one is typed very much sounds like a second hand story originally recounted by Konnan, plus you know this story is on the far more plausible side of the stories included in that file, especially since picturing someone who's been hosed up on drugs for a while particularly a wrestler engaging in this behaviour doesn't really require one to stretch their imagination too far.

Konnan is such an interesting guy, has he ever done a proper shoot? I imagine he'd have tons of amazing stories and judging by the stories he's prepared to tell he must have some incredible ones his lips are sealed on.

Speaking of 'Scummiest Wrestling Stories.txt' as we were, could someone upload it again? I'm certain there used to be a link in a stickied thread but last time I looked I couldn't find it.

Warning: It's not for the faint of heart.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Sue Denim posted:

Speaking of 'Scummiest Wrestling Stories.txt' as we were, could someone upload it again? I'm certain there used to be a link in a stickied thread but last time I looked I couldn't find it.

I've had it linked in the OP of the Wrestling Questions thread for awhile, here it is again: http://www.angelfire.com/wrestling3/kotdm15/listsleeze.html

Strenuous Manflurry
Sep 5, 2006

THE END

Sue Denim posted:

Konnan is such an interesting guy, has he ever done a proper shoot? I imagine he'd have tons of amazing stories and judging by the stories he's prepared to tell he must have some incredible ones his lips are sealed on.

Can't find it on ROH's website, but he did a Straight Shootin' DVD hosted by Jim Cornette. http://www.amazon.com/Straight-Shootin-Konnan-11-5-06-Ring-Honor/dp/B000NP3V3A

He also guests on Wrestling Observer Radio every couple of months. Always a good listen.

Sue Denim
Dec 20, 2009

Strenuous Manflurry posted:

Can't find it on ROH's website, but he did a Straight Shootin' DVD hosted by Jim Cornette. http://www.amazon.com/Straight-Shootin-Konnan-11-5-06-Ring-Honor/dp/B000NP3V3A

He also guests on Wrestling Observer Radio every couple of months. Always a good listen.
I've heard his Observer reports and they're fantastic, he's easily my favourite recurring guest.


Thanks to you J-Ru, you're a diamond.

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me
Let's talk about Dem Boyz

Jay Briscoe posted:

"...gently caress that poo poo"-what my son said when he saw the TNA logo on the Hulk Hogan costume he wanted #ThatsMyBoy #HopeMyWifeDontReadThis

hahaha, Jay Briscoe and his kid are awesome.

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW
So he wanted to be Hulk Hogan but not wear a TNA product?

Sue Denim
Dec 20, 2009
He/they're married?!

I always pictured the Brisco's as life-time members of the bachelor club.

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010
Kid probably gets to watch old school Hogan.

Who couldn't love 1988 Hogan at age 5?

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat
The best thing about Ricardo's twitter is him posting old internet pictures.

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me

Gonzo McFee posted:

Kid probably gets to watch old school Hogan.

Who couldn't love 1988 Hogan at age 5?

Exacly, dude. When you're a little kid no one else has the presence Hogan does. John Cena must look awesome to a 5 year old.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Dem Boyz have bred? Oh God the cycle continues....

Fushin
Dec 16, 2005

Grimey Drawer

Grantonio posted:

Exacly, dude. When you're a little kid no one else has the presence Hogan does. John Cena must look awesome to a 5 year old.

John Cena IS awesome to five year olds. I've confiscated at least two Cena figures from them so far this year.

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me

Fushin posted:

John Cena IS awesome to five year olds. I've confiscated at least two Cena figures from them so far this year.

haha, kids must love the guy. My 4 year old niece loves Cena. She also loves Jericho weirdly enough.

Oh yeah, please tell me you gave those action figures back.

Fushin
Dec 16, 2005

Grimey Drawer

Grantonio posted:

haha, kids must love the guy. My 4 year old niece loves Cena. She also loves Jericho weirdly enough.

Oh yeah, please tell me you gave those action figures back.

Yeah, although it's tempting to keep a couple CM Punk figures handy and give those back instead. I'm not a total rear end in a top hat, though.

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coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Jerusalem posted:

Dem Boyz have bred? Oh God the cycle continues....

I have the wedding photos somewhere...

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