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I've had natural childbirth twice--one long labor and one short--and am planning on it again this time. I had a mantra the first time of "Thousands of women stupider than I am and more chickenshit than I am have made it it through this, so I can do it too." Classy, right? I don't like needles, I didn't want the baby to get any drugs, and I wanted to labor in water, so it seemed like a pretty straightforward decision for me.
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Nov 23, 2011 20:29
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Whitey Ford posted:Oh my god. My husband teared up, and he is the least emotional guy I know. The nurse commented on it later and he got all embarrassed.
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Nov 23, 2011 20:45
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My husband and I both bawled when our daughter was born. It was really sweet to see him so emotional.
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Nov 23, 2011 21:40
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My husband cried when both daughters were born - probably because they weren't boys. But the oldest is a total daddy's girl now, and he's warming up to the youngest.
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Nov 23, 2011 21:46
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My husband didn't cry.  I've had two L&D's, one with no epidural and one with. For me it broke down like this: Unmedicated: did very well with breathing through early labor (about 10 hours), got to Transition and screamed for drugs, was told it was too late for an epidural, got one dose of a narcotic, then finished with no further meds (the narc wears off in 1 hour). All in all, it was okay. I was back on my feet right away. Medicated: early labor was much more relaxed, epidural had to be upped a couple of times, everything went really well until he was crowning, then the pain was unbelievable. Way worse than my first birth. This is where I suspect the lack of endorphins comes into play. But since it was my second birth it was pretty fast. Recovery was a little slower, mostly because you can't use your legs well in the first hour or two after, but after that it was the same. All in all, I'm not sure what I'd do if I had to deliver another baby. I think I would go unmedicated because it was painful but more spread out compared to that awful pain of crowning. But I'm done with babymaking and mostly I'm glad I don't have to make these types of decisions anymore.
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Nov 23, 2011 22:04
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My husband teared up several times during labor and birth, but as you can see from the picture, he actually got to deliver the baby so he was pretty preoccupied trying to not drop a 9lb slippery ball of wiggles so that may have accounted for the lack of serious waterworks 
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Nov 23, 2011 22:26
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I was crying, but out of fear of the C-section more than anything. Not sobbing, but tears in the eyes and shivering. My husband was a rock until he saw our son get pulled from my belly. Then it was awe/love/terror all rolled into a big ball of tears. And they were playing awesome music in the room, so my son was born to Bohemian Rhapsody, which now makes me tear up a bit every time I hear it.
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Nov 23, 2011 22:44
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I was so out of it with pain and exhaustion I didn't really react to his birth much. When the doc pulled him out and put him on my stomach, everyone had to remind me to look at my baby, and then I was just like "ewww" cause he was covered in nasty bits. Then he was whisked off by the peds team because there was meconium in the fluid, so my husband got to have most of the initial interaction with our son while I had people scooping gobs of blood and crap out of me, squeezing the placenta out, then like 10 minutes of getting stitched up. I think it was probably 15 minutes later that I finally got to meet my son, and then it was just like "oh god what do I do?" But yeah, as out of it as I was I did tear up a little to see my husband so obviously devoted to the little guy from the start. When they whisked him off to the nursery and started cleaning me up for transport my husband was pretty much stepping on their heels to stay with our kiddo.
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Nov 24, 2011 01:19
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My husband didn't cry but he DOESN'T cry. He just can't. He was taught pretty severely not to as a kid. He was pretty in awe of this tiny scrunchy-faced angry little baby though  I only have one picture of my husband holding our son right away though, and nobody took a picture of me holding him after the birth so I had to take one myself later that night Mom you were the worst photographer.
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Nov 24, 2011 01:35
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Hello everyone. My wife is about 9 weeks pregnant and we are deciding on whether to take the Nuchal scan. One of us is of the opinion that its a waste of time / money as it is not 100% certain and that regardless of the outcome, no abortion will be made. So basically, it will either be a-ok or it will just screw with our heads as we anxiously wait for the d-day. The other, well, is on the fence right now - mainly due to the fact that she is 31, not exactly old but definitely not in the 'safest' category either, 1:457 starting chance (as opposed to say 1:898 for a 20 year old), at least the according to this website. Help goons, what have you done / are going to do?
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Nov 24, 2011 15:35
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The Capitulator posted:Hello everyone. My wife is about 9 weeks pregnant and we are deciding on whether to take the Nuchal scan. One of us is of the opinion that its a waste of time / money as it is not 100% certain and that regardless of the outcome, no abortion will be made. So basically, it will either be a-ok or it will just screw with our heads as we anxiously wait for the d-day. The other, well, is on the fence right now - mainly due to the fact that she is 31, not exactly old but definitely not in the 'safest' category either, 1:457 starting chance (as opposed to say 1:898 for a 20 year old), at least the according to this website. Help goons, what have you done / are going to do? I would do it if it'd put your minds at ease. It could also help you prepare (mentally) for the situation if, indeed, there appears to be an issue.
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Nov 24, 2011 15:40
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The Capitulator posted:Hello everyone. My wife is about 9 weeks pregnant and we are deciding on whether to take the Nuchal scan. One of us is of the opinion that its a waste of time / money as it is not 100% certain and that regardless of the outcome, no abortion will be made. So basically, it will either be a-ok or it will just screw with our heads as we anxiously wait for the d-day. The other, well, is on the fence right now - mainly due to the fact that she is 31, not exactly old but definitely not in the 'safest' category either, 1:457 starting chance (as opposed to say 1:898 for a 20 year old), at least the according to this website. Help goons, what have you done / are going to do? I told my doctor the same thing--that we knew our choice and didn't care about the test results--but he said that it was totally my choice, but Downs wasn't the only thing that gets detected in that scan and that it'd be helpful when he delivered me to know about the others, bc it might affect things that go on in the delivery room. I honestly can't remember what else gets examined during that same ultrasound... maybe the heart?
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Nov 24, 2011 16:09
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The Capitulator posted:Help goons, what have you done / are going to do? Capitulator, prepare yourself for a wall of text. I am a similar age to your wife and am expecting my first child. My husband was very interested in getting the scan done out of concern for Downs, while I was on the fence about the whole thing but figured "it couldn't hurt to be prepared". So we did it. The tech spent a lot of time looking at the screen and then going out to talk to a doctor, but dispute our inquiries never mentioned anything might be "wrong". At the end she said, the NT looks normal and we went on our merry way. The next day (a Friday) a genetic counselor from the hospital leaves a message on the voice mail saying "we are concerned about your baby's heart, please call us back" (during the NT scan they will also check placental and fetal circulation). I called back and of course the counselor had already left for the weekend, so the two of us spent the next three days worried about what might be wrong. When I finally got ahold of the counselor on Monday we learned that the fetus had a condition that results in some blood moving backwards through the fetal heart. My own research on the condition showed at 1. It is relatively common and usually clears up on its own before birth 2. the heart still has so much developing to do still that this is not a good predictor of later complications 3. even if it turned out our child would have a heart condition, there is nothing that would/could be done in utero. But of course the hospital wanted me to do weekly sonograms to monitor the growth of the heart and at least one invasive test - they said this was so they would know what they were dealing with, but we thought is was to cover their asses if something went wrong, I mean, even in the worst case scenario, you can't do anything until the kid is born; so why weekly monitoring from week 9 on? Because of the stress and needless worrying, I regret having the NT done. Although my spouse argues he is still glad we did it, since the Downs part was clean. TL,DR: We had to deal with a fair amount of stress for a test that has a pretty low positive predictive value. Because of what we had to deal with with the hospital staff I wish I hadn't done it, but my spouse is glad we did.
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Nov 24, 2011 16:58
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edit: /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ yeah, I think that's a large chunk of what MrsD. was worried about going through.The Capitulator posted:Hello everyone. My wife is about 9 weeks pregnant and we are deciding on whether to take the Nuchal scan. One of us is of the opinion that its a waste of time / money as it is not 100% certain and that regardless of the outcome, no abortion will be made. So basically, it will either be a-ok or it will just screw with our heads as we anxiously wait for the d-day. The other, well, is on the fence right now - mainly due to the fact that she is 31, not exactly old but definitely not in the 'safest' category either, 1:457 starting chance (as opposed to say 1:898 for a 20 year old), at least the according to this website. Help goons, what have you done / are going to do? Myself and MrsD. had the same conversation a month or so back. We came to the conclusion that it actually didn't matter for us if we had that scan or not so we aren't going down that route. It's hard to describe, I had always thought as a "non-dad" that I wouldn't want a disabled kid. But when it's your kid in there it puts a different light on things. We decided that we didn't want to abort it as we could be in the same situation again and again if our hosed up genetics kept on giving us disabled kids, so what difference does it make if we know now or in 7 or so months time? We're going to wait and see what happens. But at the end of the day you have to do whatever you feel you want to do to make both of you happy. Mr Darcy fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Nov 24, 2011 |
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Nov 24, 2011 17:06
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I have some small questions. I'm six weeks pregnant, first time being pregnant. In a few weeks we're going to be moving, and I was wondering if lifting heavy boxes is an issue this early in the pregnancy. I'm thinking no, but I want to be safe (and my doctor's response didn't really answer that question). Also, is there any recommendations on prenatal vitamins? I just went out and bought some generic on sale brand, and they have everything I should be getting (except omega 3, but I'm using mega red krill oil for that).
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Nov 24, 2011 17:10
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The Capitulator posted:Hello everyone. My wife is about 9 weeks pregnant and we are deciding on whether to take the Nuchal scan. One of us is of the opinion that its a waste of time / money as it is not 100% certain and that regardless of the outcome, no abortion will be made. So basically, it will either be a-ok or it will just screw with our heads as we anxiously wait for the d-day. The other, well, is on the fence right now - mainly due to the fact that she is 31, not exactly old but definitely not in the 'safest' category either, 1:457 starting chance (as opposed to say 1:898 for a 20 year old), at least the according to this website. Help goons, what have you done / are going to do? We declined the genetic screenings (NT screening, amnio, CVS) for a few reasons: we weren't going to abort even if something showed up, in most cases there is no medical prep you can do until the baby is born and you see how severely the baby is affected, and I knew that they would be doing the 20 week ultrasound which was enough screening for abnormalities for me. There did wind up being one small unidentifiable area they found at my 20 week ultrasound, and I needed to follow up with a perinatologist for a detailed ultrasound. My baby has a couple of vessels that are positioned differently, but they still have good blood flow so we aren't too worried. I'll have another scan in January to make sure things are still okay and development is on track, but if the frequency and intensity of his kicking is any indication of how well he's doing, then he's doing great. Bear Rape posted:I have some small questions. I'm six weeks pregnant, first time being pregnant. In a few weeks we're going to be moving, and I was wondering if lifting heavy boxes is an issue this early in the pregnancy. I'm thinking no, but I want to be safe (and my doctor's response didn't really answer that question). Do what you feel most comfortable with, within reason. We moved when I was about 9 weeks along, and I moved some boxes but nothing too heavy (not that my husband would have let me move anything more than about 25 pounds anyway). Just understand that you're more prone to backache and fatigue than you were before, so no matter what make sure you are lifting things properly, drinking plenty of water and taking as many breaks as you need to rest.
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Nov 24, 2011 18:29
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Bear Rape posted:I have some small questions. I'm six weeks pregnant, first time being pregnant. In a few weeks we're going to be moving, and I was wondering if lifting heavy boxes is an issue this early in the pregnancy. I'm thinking no, but I want to be safe (and my doctor's response didn't really answer that question). We too moved when I was about 10 weeks along. We hadn't let the news out yet so I was concerned that my lack of lifting was going to be noticed. I kept myself busy making teas and unpacking the small essentials (kettle, toaster etc) so that I was actually doing something to help! I worked in a shop, doing deliveries mostly, until I was at 37 weeks and, like others have said, just work at your own pace. You'll know when you've pushed yourself too hard and know not to do it again.
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Nov 24, 2011 19:16
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I thought most of the issues arise closer/past the age of 35? I had my daughter a little over a month shy of my 30th birthday and it just wasn't something I bothered stressing out about before or after the results. Are there new numbers out there now?
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Nov 24, 2011 19:40
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The Capitulator posted:Hello everyone. My wife is about 9 weeks pregnant and we are deciding on whether to take the Nuchal scan. One of us is of the opinion that its a waste of time / money as it is not 100% certain and that regardless of the outcome, no abortion will be made. So basically, it will either be a-ok or it will just screw with our heads as we anxiously wait for the d-day. The other, well, is on the fence right now - mainly due to the fact that she is 31, not exactly old but definitely not in the 'safest' category either, 1:457 starting chance (as opposed to say 1:898 for a 20 year old), at least the according to this website. Help goons, what have you done / are going to do? I'm also 9 weeks (32 years old, will probably be 33 by the time I deliver) and I'm scheduled for my nuchal translucency in 3 weeks. My understanding is that it will give you a more accurate risk range than just your age alone. The risk range allows you to decide if you want to go on to have more accurate but more invasive testing done. If you feel that the risk range is uncomfortably high, you don't just go have an abortion based on the nuchal translucency alone. You'd usually then go on to get either a Chorionic Villus Sampling or an Amniocentesis, both of which will give a much more accurate picture of your risk. My doctor told me that his older patients (over 40) usually skip all of the early/non-invasive testing and go straight for either the CVS or Amnio, since they know their risk is already very high due to their age. bamzilla posted:I thought most of the issues arise closer/past the age of 35? I had my daughter a little over a month shy of my 30th birthday and it just wasn't something I bothered stressing out about before or after the results. Are there new numbers out there now? The numbers I've always seen were from the March of Dimes (don't know where they get their numbers), but I haven't seen a change in them in at least 5 years. Here's what they say: At age 25, the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is 1 in 1,250. At age 30, the risk is 1 in 1,000. At age 35, the risk is 1 in 400. At age 40, the risk is 1 in 100. At age 45, the risk is 1 in 30. EDIT: Obviously, the risk continues to go up each year, and the real risk varies from woman to woman and from pregnancy to pregnancy. A lot of people are fooled by charts like this and think that the risk at 34 and 1/2 is the same as the risk at 30, and that your uterus undergoes a magical change the day you turn 35. I'm not majorly stressed out about my age or anything, but I'm signing up for any and all testing that's minimally invasive. I admit it's only partially for peace of mind. The other half is that I find all of the science and technology involved in all of this to be fascinating, and I want to experience it firsthand. I mean, they can take a fetus that's 11 weeks and less than 2 inches long, measure the thickness of the skin on it's neck and figure out if you have a risk of Down's based on that. That's loving amazing to me. Also, I watched this video of someone getting it done, and was pretty blown away: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDRGt0ecti8 Mnemosyne fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Nov 24, 2011 |
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Nov 24, 2011 21:16
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Ok, I thought they were still pretty low at the low 30s but wasn't 100% sure. Thanks
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Nov 24, 2011 21:24
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Thanks much for the responses about lifting! I think it'll just depend on if I feel sick while we're moving or not as to how much lifting I'll be doing.
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Nov 25, 2011 03:19
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For anyone who likes studies or homebirths; https://www.npeu.ox.ac.uk/birthplace/results
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Nov 25, 2011 11:10
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opie posted:My husband cried when both daughters were born - probably because they weren't boys. But the oldest is a total daddy's girl now, and he's warming up to the youngest. I know you're joking, but this is still really sad. 
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Nov 27, 2011 00:46
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I've been having really bad reflux during this whole pregnancy, so when i started having occasional burning pain right below where my boobs meet, my doc said it was either that or muscles stretching. Now this past week since my appointment (29 weeks), it's gotten horribly worse, to the point that I'm gasping or crying out until it passes, and last night it woke me from sleep several times. When does it end? Is there anything that makes it even slightly better?
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Nov 27, 2011 14:31
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Thanks everybody! We're going great, and Nolan's now 8 days old. Breastfeeding is going much better (yay!), and his stinky cord stump finally fell off, too. I have to say, I totally recommend getting a few baby carriers and learning about babywearing. Its so nice having the baby right with me, but I still have my hands free for the handrail in the stairway, typing at the computer, eating, and all the extra cuddling is fantastic. I like using the wraps at home, but I'm loving the mei tai for when we need to pop into a store for some shopping. We haven't used the stroller at all yet, but the carriers get used everyday so far.  Nolan - Thanksgiving by Melissa Lientz, on Flickr Tesla Insanely Coil posted:Congrats! For the first half of the labor, all my practicing with Hypnobabies was really helpful. I seriously was falling asleep between contractions, and was able to dilate to 8cm really without much pain at all. I'm not sure the 2nd half of labor would have gone as well without being able to conserve that energy. I did a lot of early laboring in the tub, and end in the end, I think I labored in just about every position possible. For me, the birthing stool and sitting backwards on the toilet were both good for making progress. Being able to do that was one of the primary reasons I didn't want an epidural. We had positioning issues with the little guy's head, so I ended up pushing for a god-awful long time. There was definitely a point at which I would have gotten the epidural if I was in a hospital. My mantra during the hardest parts was "The only way out is through." The midwives did a great job with all their tricks to help me through the "ring of fire" - compresses, massage, etc, and although I did end up needing some stitches, my recovery "down there" has been really easy, probably because all of their work. I had though the ring of fire stage was a relatively short-term thing, but not for me, at least. In hindsight, the one thing I would consider trying next time is getting the Epi-No. I scoffed at the idea just a few weeks ago as totally crazy, but if I ever talk myself into giving birth again, I'm definitely going to give the Epi-No a try. I don't think either my husband or I cried after the baby was born. Our reaction was more like, "Holy poo poo, they just gave us a baby."
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Nov 27, 2011 20:34
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MoCookies posted:
We didn't either. The whole thing was so surreal it was hard to express any other emotion than awe at the time.
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Nov 28, 2011 02:21
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Ben Davis posted:I've been having really bad reflux during this whole pregnancy, so when i started having occasional burning pain right below where my boobs meet, my doc said it was either that or muscles stretching. Now this past week since my appointment (29 weeks), it's gotten horribly worse, to the point that I'm gasping or crying out until it passes, and last night it woke me from sleep several times. When does it end? Is there anything that makes it even slightly better? Not from personal experience, but a friend who's due in two weeks had reflux problems and her doctor recommended apple cider vinegar. From a quick google - 2 tbsp diluted in water three times a day seems to be the doseage. Sounds like you have it worse than my friend though. Good luck finding something that works.
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Nov 28, 2011 07:27
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Moms Stuffing posted:I know you're joking, but this is still really sad.
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Nov 28, 2011 16:31
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At the hospital and my wife has fallen asleep during labour.
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Nov 29, 2011 01:42
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Moms Stuffing posted:I know you're joking, but this is still really sad. My GF was convinced she was gonna have two sons, like many Chinese she's slightly superstitious and it might also have been wishful thinking on her part - she remembers her mom telling her that her dad cried when she was born, because he wouldn't have a son. She'd had dreams about having sons, and she even found a name for the boy. So when she was told by the radiologist that she would have a daughter, she was pretty sad for a few minutes, until she called her dad to complain, and he appeared to be overjoyed (like me) on simply hearing that the foetus was in perfect shape. "But dad, you cried when I was born because I was a girl!" "Yeah, but that was in another time and age. I'm sorry for that. Things are different now". And that was all it took to get her spirits up again. I wish I could tell him how much I respect him for saying that, because it really changed everything.
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Nov 29, 2011 13:33
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Are any of you planning on banking your child's cord blood? I was looking into it, but it looks pretty expensive. And the list of diseases that it could help with is kinda short. What did you all make of it? legbeard fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Nov 30, 2011 |
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Nov 30, 2011 19:26
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legbeard posted:Are any of you planning on banking your child's cord blood? My OB gave me a fairly lengthy discussion about it and what it came down to was pretty much "if you have that kind of money to toss around that you won't miss, then go ahead, otherwise, don't bother." He said that it's not only the list of things that it can be used to treat that's short, but he actually asked them to see how many children had been treated via banked cord blood and he told me that the list was less than one side of a sheet of paper. And that included all of the kids that were treated, but the treatment was unsuccessful. His bottom line was "I looked at that sheet and thought about how hundreds more children than that die in car accidents every year. If you want to spend that money on protecting your child's life, use it to get a safer car seat or a car with extra air bags." EDIT: This is why I <3 my OB/GYN. He's a no-nonsense kind of guy. The other thing that he didn't mention, but that I looked into later was that it seems that if you DID have a kid with an illness that could be treated by the cord blood, you could technically get pregnant again on purpose and use the second child's cord blood to treat the first child. Of course then you end up with another child that you may or may not have planned on having. Apparently people do it.
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Nov 30, 2011 19:55
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legbeard posted:Are any of you planning on banking your child's cord blood? We did it. It was a big cost for us, and the yearly fees aren't cheap, but the advancements made in medicine are coming so fast we figured the blood might not be so useful right now but who knows what will happen in medicine over the next few decades. It's literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I actually wanted to donate the blood, or part of the cord, to a public bank. But that technology is still too new and there are only a few hospitals in our state that collect donated blood, so hopefully we can do that with our next kid or share some of the privately banked blood at a later date. I have a friend who is a Nurse Practitioner and had a baby around the same time as us, and she gave me many reasons NOT to bank our blood. We had already decided to bank his blood by that time, but she did make many valid points just as Mnemosyne posted.
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Nov 30, 2011 20:06
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We didn't bank the cord blood but I did donate it for medical research to some hospital in Florida. They sent me a kit and my midwife used it and got blood from the placenta after I delivered my first kid, and then UPS picked it up at my house.
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Nov 30, 2011 20:23
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We will be banking cord blood. We can't afford to do it ourselves, but my husband had a daughter with his first wife who died of cancer at 5 months old, so my in-laws feel very strongly about cord blood. They are paying to have it banked. If they weren't doing that we'd probably donate it to a public bank.
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Nov 30, 2011 21:59
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Whitey Ford posted:Oh my god. Jessica was born 10pm on the 29th of November, 7lb 11oz  Thanks for being a great resource and group of people.
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Dec 2, 2011 00:22
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Congrats! She's beautiful!
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Dec 2, 2011 01:37
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Congrats Whitey , she's really beautiful. Girlfriend and I have about 6 weeks to go. We're expecting a daughter too.
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Dec 8, 2011 15:23
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So my daughter's due to be born in three weeks. We've picked a name (Vesper) and I'm getting seriously annoyed with people's reactions. My husband and I think it's a cute, unique name but NO ONE likes it, and my mom (who is notorious for guilt-tripping and acting like I'm attacking her as a person if I make a decision she doesn't like) has been trying to convince me that it's a horrible, awful name better suited to a boy and our daughter will be ridiculed mercilessly in school. Seriously? Vesper? Is it really all that bad?
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Dec 8, 2011 17:37
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Ana Lucia Cortez posted:So my daughter's due to be born in three weeks. We've picked a name (Vesper) and I'm getting seriously annoyed with people's reactions. My husband and I think it's a cute, unique name but NO ONE likes it, and my mom (who is notorious for guilt-tripping and acting like I'm attacking her as a person if I make a decision she doesn't like) has been trying to convince me that it's a horrible, awful name better suited to a boy and our daughter will be ridiculed mercilessly in school. Pfft. Who cares for them? That means "evening star," right? Very nice. We've told people the first initial of the name we chose, but we won't reveal the name until the baby is born. But part of that is we also are trying not to reveal the gender (although I am terrible about keeping secrets about myself and have already blabbed to a few people who hopefully were kind enough to forget). We've chosen a pretty traditional name so I don't think there will be any negative reactions, but I don't need anyone saying "Oh I knew a _____ and that person was so (insert negative trait here)" before the baby gets here and making me doubt our choice.
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Dec 8, 2011 18:09
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