Combat Sports - General Q and A thread: Why are these fights so boring?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Combat Sports - General Q and A thread: Why are these fights so boring?

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Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

Chemtrail Clem posted:

Stomps and soccer kicks shouldnt really be legal because the only time you ever see someone land them is when a guy is getting beaten so badly that the fight should be stopped anyway, and especially since the refs are so lovely at stepping in there would be a lot of knocked out dudes getting their heads stomped

Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about Cage Rage's weird open guard rule that One FC co-opted? It pretty much only makes them legal in a butt-scoot stalemate but I feel like it makes the job of the referee a bit too involved and complicated

# ? Feb 23, 2012 03:26

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:09

Captain Log: Oct 2, 2006; Captain Log posted:
"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"

I just re-watched a Fedor vs. Coleman match.

You bastards.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 04:13

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Chimney Sweeps Week posted:

as the fight is only about 30 seconds long, you should rewatch it, because this isn't how it happened and the truth is in fact much more heroic and satisfying

I had forgotten about this fight. From memory, Sakurai stuffed him onto his rear end in a corner and then just obliterated his face with knees, right? Even in a situation like that, the advantage isn't necessarily that the knee is more powerful, but that when a guy's on a lower level then you you can't really punch powerfully, so using the legs to attack is necessary to do any meaningful damage.

I'd love to see some good numbers comparing the power of a punch to the head of a standing opponent with a knee to the head of a grounded one.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 04:20

fatherdog: Feb 16, 2005

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

I had forgotten about this fight. From memory, Sakurai stuffed him onto his rear end in a corner and then just obliterated his face with knees, right?

Wrong. Aoki took Mach down with a single into Mach's half guard. He started to try to pass and Mach swept him into Aoki's half guard. Then, while on top, he pinned Aoki's head down with his hand and kneed the bejesus out of his face with his free leg.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 04:22

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

fatherdog posted:

Wrong. Aoki took Mach down with a single into Mach's half guard. He started to try to pass and Mach swept him into Aoki's half guard. Then, while on top, he pinned Aoki's head down with his hand and kneed the bejesus out of his face with his free leg.

OK, I need go go back and watch that fight. It's been too long. In your opinion, could that finish be attributed to anything aside from Aoki defending poorly?

# ? Feb 23, 2012 04:27

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

Captain Log posted:

I just re-watched a Fedor vs. Coleman match.

You bastards.

rub a little Hendgay on it

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

I had forgotten about this fight. From memory, Sakurai stuffed him onto his rear end in a corner and then just obliterated his face with knees, right?

Aoki actually got him down with a single almost immediately, but Mach swept him before pinning his face to the mat and beating him half way out of the ring. It was hugely impressive because Aoki has a really stifling top game, I can't remember any other instance of him being swept.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 04:29

david carmichael: Oct 28, 2011

mach should not have gotten taken down, aoki should not have gotten swept that effortlessly, but it was all so perfect.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 05:10

fawker: Feb 1, 2008; ARMBAR!

Captain Log posted:

I just re-watched a Fedor vs. Coleman match.

You bastards.

think back to happier times. The happiest time of his life:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdpegokRf1Y&t=64s

Also, what the hell happened to Mach Sakurai? I thought he was considered one of the BEST WWs one point in time...

# ? Feb 23, 2012 05:14

fatherdog: Feb 16, 2005

fawker posted:

Also, what the hell happened to Mach Sakurai? I thought he was considered one of the BEST WWs one point in time...

Many points in time, all of which were between 1999 and 2003

# ? Feb 23, 2012 05:16

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

fawker posted:

Also, what the hell happened to Mach Sakurai? I thought he was considered one of the BEST WWs one point in time...

Mongolian barbecue. He proved he's still sexy with a home video though.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 05:26

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

fawker posted:

Also, what the hell happened to Mach Sakurai? I thought he was considered one of the BEST WWs one point in time...

back injuries (he was in a car crash just before the Hughes fight that has physically hampered him and visibly made him less agile ever since), knee injuries (tore his ACL right before the Gomi fight), outright laziness (he has seriously told promoters and journalists he doesn't want to be booked to fight in the summer because he doesn't want to train in hot weather), and a lifestyle fundamentally incompatible with being an athlete (he loves to drink and eat, the Korean barbecue thing isn't a joke, also one time he was being interviewed for a tv show and hosted a picnic for himself and the 2 tiny hosts, it was an entire hog roast)

# ? Feb 23, 2012 06:03

david carmichael: Oct 28, 2011

to be fair the hog was rather tiny, and resembled more of a medium sized dog

# ? Feb 23, 2012 06:11

david carmichael: Oct 28, 2011

matt hughes had to hit sakurai with a car to beat him.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 06:11

colonel_korn: May 16, 2003

fawker posted:

Knees to a grounded opponent need to be brought back because Mark Coleman used it to win the GP way back when. Just see how much happiness it brings him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdpegokRf1Y&t=40s

His KO of Allan Goes is even better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIDg1R0sw5Y#t=1m25s

# ? Feb 23, 2012 15:09

manyak: Jan 26, 2006

Chimney Sweeps Week posted:

Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about Cage Rage's weird open guard rule that One FC co-opted? It pretty much only makes them legal in a butt-scoot stalemate but I feel like it makes the job of the referee a bit too involved and complicated

Yeah I feel the same way, it's a good idea in theory but any time the ref has to get more involved and make decisions on the fly it usually means it will be really annoying in practice

# ? Feb 23, 2012 16:07

OH WORD SON: Apr 21, 2006

hahahah hendgay

# ? Feb 23, 2012 19:09

Captain Log: Oct 2, 2006; Captain Log posted:
"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"

Chimney Sweeps Week posted:

rub a little Hendgay on it

Aoki actually got him down with a single almost immediately, but Mach swept him before pinning his face to the mat and beating him half way out of the ring. It was hugely impressive because Aoki has a really stifling top game, I can't remember any other instance of him being swept.

That gif is useful for a self loathing Fedor fan like myself. Hendo hits like a truck the older he gets. Can anyone do a BRH chronology? Some sort of chart?

# ? Feb 24, 2012 00:07

Xguard86: Nov 22, 2004; "You don't understand his pain. Everywhere he goes he sees women working, wearing pants, speaking in gatherings, voting. Surely they will burn in the white hot flames of Hell"

The BRH has remained steady in power, Hendo has just found better ways to apply it recently or had otherwise good strikers inexplicably circle into it.

# ? Feb 24, 2012 20:35

OH WORD SON: Apr 21, 2006

He also now just wings it over and over again

# ? Feb 24, 2012 22:20

colonel_korn: May 16, 2003

Captain Log posted:

That gif is useful for a self loathing Fedor fan like myself. Hendo hits like a truck the older he gets. Can anyone do a BRH chronology? Some sort of chart?

Here's an early one that owns:

Getting knocked out is no guarantee that Hendo won't slam you as well.

# ? Feb 27, 2012 00:26

MycroftXXX: May 10, 2006; A Liquor Never Brewed

Someone did an effort post not too long after MMA came to the newly formed PSP (it might have been fatherdog) giving some history about hendo. Hendo basically came into MMA with the perfect skillset to be a boring blanket wrestler, but instead went into his fights as a fist swinging wildman. Hendo is pretty awesome.

# ? Feb 27, 2012 17:19

oldfan: Jul 22, 2007; "Mathewson pitched against Cincinnati yesterday. Another way of putting it is that Cincinnati lost a game of baseball."

MycroftXXX posted:

Someone did an effort post not too long after MMA came to the newly formed PSP (it might have been fatherdog) giving some history about hendo. Hendo basically came into MMA with the perfect skillset to be a boring blanket wrestler, but instead went into his fights as a fist swinging wildman. Hendo is pretty awesome.

Hendo has went through his periods as a boring blanket wrestler too, one of his old nicknames was Decision Dan.

# ? Feb 28, 2012 01:51

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

jeffersonlives posted:

Hendo has went through his periods as a boring blanket wrestler too, one of his old nicknames was Decision Dan.

I thought "Decision Dan" had more to do with him being gifted decisions he really didn't deserve to win than it did with a boring style?

# ? Feb 28, 2012 04:17

Paul Pot: Mar 4, 2010; by Y Kant Ozma Post

I don't remember too many boring Hendo fights, but Fedor-Arona is the only Rings fight I've seen.

# ? Feb 28, 2012 09:20

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

Haraksha posted:

I thought "Decision Dan" had more to do with him being gifted decisions he really didn't deserve to win than it did with a boring style?

it did

# ? Feb 28, 2012 22:55

Biafraid: Jan 31, 2008; yeah.

The Bisping KO was such a monumental act of good that he was being rewarded for it long in advance.

# ? Feb 29, 2012 04:39

OH WORD SON: Apr 21, 2006

Anyone got the black guy reading jokebook dot jpeg?

# ? Mar 6, 2012 19:24

Julio Cesar Fatass: Jul 24, 2007; "...."

The Coleman talk in the UFC thread got me googling, I found this and had to know which goon wrote it.

quote:

Lemme tell you a true story.

Back in early 2004, I was impersonating Wes Sims for a few months as part of a bet. So me and The Hammer, we're going to Ikea, cause he needs to buy a chair, right? Nothing fancy, just a simple office chair with good lumbar support, cause he'd hurt his back a little fighting Fedor. So we're in Ikea, looking through all the Bjorns and Karls and Fingords and whatever the gently caress else they call the loving furniture, and Coleman's hopping in and out of the little display models, stretching and going "UUUURGH" and all "I don't like this one, these arms are gonna piss me off if I buy this and stuff". Eventually we settle on one, I forget which, and we go looking for a member of staff. We find one, pimply little motherfucker, and he's all "Uh I'll need to go get a forklift driver cause it's kinda heavy" and, well, Mark is obviously a strong dude and we don't wanna wait cause we gotta go get our Swedish Meatball on, so we go with this dude to the warehouse, and we're gonna carry the chair ourselves, y'know? And that's when it goes bad. Somewhere on the other side of the warehouse, some numbnuts drops something, BANG, just like that.

And Mark lets instinct take over.

First victim is the pimply kid, cause I'd gotten used to Coleman by this point and got a pallet jack between me and him as soon as I heard the bang. The kid, obviously not too wise on his PRIDE, takes it like a sandbag, straight down, his head hitting the concrete floor like a canteloupe. Pretty grody. Mark realises what he's done, and obviously he's pretty stressed, and for some hosed up reason there's, like, sixty display chairs and tables set up in the warehouse, must be about to be taken out to the shop floor for a display, except he doesn't see that, he just sees a forest of legs, all of them in pairs. It was like watching a bull slew through a bunch of paraplegics, I tell you. He's just BAM, double leg, BAM, double leg, BAM, double leg, shouting and bellowing the whole way. He gasses after his first five or six, but keeps BAM double legging them, for a whole twenty minutes. Last thing I remember of that godawful carnage, as I booked it out of a back door and the cops arrive, is a mental image, startling in its clarity still, of Mark Coleman doing the whizzer on a BERTIL, his face as orange as Hell's own glow.

It took a few cops to bring him in, of course. Eventually one of them made sergeant by screaming "THIS IS K-1 RULES!" in his face and cuffing him while he was confused. The trial was called off when the jury all got mysteriously injured a few days before, and the judge didn't post his arm correctly and dislocated his elbow. The only reporter foolhardy enough to try and cover the story got as far as "Noted cage fighter Mark "The Hamme"" before getting double-legged right through his own desk. As for me? Well, I won my bet. Easiest sixteen bucks I ever made.

# ? Mar 16, 2012 03:17

fawker: Feb 1, 2008; ARMBAR!

That, is the proest of posts.

# ? Mar 16, 2012 03:39

Grandmaster.flv: Jun 24, 2011

pretty sure all fanfiction has been gay and will be gay

# ? Mar 16, 2012 03:39

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

Julio Cesar Fatass posted:

The Coleman talk in the UFC thread got me googling, I found this and had to know which goon wrote it.

This should replace america's constitution.

# ? Mar 16, 2012 05:35

platero: Sep 11, 2001; spooky, but polite, a-hole; Pillbug

Julio Cesar Fatass posted:

The Coleman talk in the UFC thread got me googling, I found this and had to know which goon wrote it.

I want to read this every day.

# ? Mar 17, 2012 21:40

Save Russian Jews: Jun 7, 2007; who the fuck is this guy anyway, i can't even see his face; Lipstick Apathy

I need a Chael Sonnen picture with a text caption of "NEVER GIVE UP" that would look good on a T-shirt because well...

# ? Mar 20, 2012 06:19

moww: Jan 16, 2005; Can Type the Hype and Post the Most.

Save Russian Jews posted:

I need a Chael Sonnen picture with a text caption of "NEVER GIVE UP" that would look good on a T-shirt because well...

I think it should say "NEVER GET UP." Maybe the picture should be of Andy.

# ? Mar 20, 2012 20:10

Dangersim: Sep 4, 2011; He expended too much energy and got tired

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

It should be a collage of chael tapping

# ? Mar 20, 2012 20:14

Save Russian Jews: Jun 7, 2007; who the fuck is this guy anyway, i can't even see his face; Lipstick Apathy

I was gonna go with the sadnnen picture, to be honest

# ? Mar 21, 2012 04:28

Bubba Smith: Sep 27, 2004; Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

I think this is what you wanted

# ? Mar 21, 2012 05:39

Save Russian Jews: Jun 7, 2007; who the fuck is this guy anyway, i can't even see his face; Lipstick Apathy

hahahahahaa holy poo poo

# ? Mar 22, 2012 08:44

Julio Cesar Fatass: Jul 24, 2007; "...."

15 of the 16 guys in a K-1 GP would come out losing, but still managed to stay relevant to the fans. Was this because of the quality of the fights, or did K-1 do anything special to rebuild their brands?

# ? Mar 22, 2012 18:41

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:09

Biafraid: Jan 31, 2008; yeah.

Don't fighters who make it to the final 16 typically have to win regional GPs to get to that point (apart from those who get in by being the previous final 8)? That would possibly keep their stock somewhat high, as they're really only losing to the cream of the global crop.

# ? Mar 23, 2012 00:06

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Combat Sports - General Q and A thread: Why are these fights so boring?

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