|
chrysoula posted:So, I went in today and brought my husband so he could participate in any scheduling discussions. At the sizing ultrasound, we discovered the baby was reading at 47th percentile for estimated weight. So perfectly average. Then my blood pressure was so low the nurse took it twice. Then the doctor inspected me and I was 75% effaced, 1cm dilated and the baby was at around station +1. Yay, I'm glad it was nothing to worry about  Hope everything works out well!baby news for us we find out the sex in 2 weeks.  Also I'm carrying this one super low. Now I understand all the complaints about having to pee all the time D: I imagine being able to sleep through the night during my first pregnancy without having to pee was some sort of miracle.
bamzilla fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Feb 21, 2012 |
#
?
Feb 21, 2012 02:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:12 |
|
|
I'm so tired of freaking out over nothing. I was already pretty emotional before the pregnancy but now it's ridiculous. Today I had a gender check ultrasound scheduled at a place that gives you a DVD and pictures of everything for super cheap. I've been excited about this for a week and I've told everyone about it happening today. I ended up looking at the time wrong and we showed up late. The chick there said she couldn't fit us in and had to reschedule for Monday. It shouldn't be that big of a deal but I've been bawling for like 10 minutes about this. My husband's first response to that? "It's not a big deal. Monday isn't even a week away, so calm down. It's not that big of a deal". Instead of just crying more I tried telling him that it doesn't matter if it's actually a big deal or not. It's a HUGE deal to me at this moment. Sometimes I've flat out told him what he needs to say and how he needs to treat a situation where I'm freaking out over nothing. I just can't get it through his head what being supportive is and I have no idea what to say anymore. Is this something any of you have had to deal with? I'm wondering if maybe having a friend or my mom talk to him using different ways to say things might help him understand. To not be super depressing, today he got hired to a great job that will allow us to move out of his dad's house! Awesome Kristin fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Feb 22, 2012 |
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 21:55
|
|
|
So, is the problem that he's really not understanding or that he's just not saying what you want to hear?
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 22:04
|
|
|
bamzilla posted:So, is the problem that he's really not understanding or that he's just not saying what you want to hear? I think it's that he's not saying it right... possibly. I can't get him to comfort me at the same time as explaining why I need to calm down. It doesn't feel like he's trying to understand it, just mechanically fix it by stating the facts. OMG I'm insane. I'll go ahead and say I'm not going to post another "rant" like that again but it did help me work it all out and stop being so upset.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 22:08
|
|
|
Awesome Kristin posted:I think it's that he's not saying it right... possibly. I can't get him to comfort me at the same time as explaining why I need to calm down. It doesn't feel like he's trying to understand it, just mechanically fix it by stating the facts. Sometimes people are just detached from certain things. My husband's the same way as yours. He's been like that since the day I met him. I don't think he's going to change 11 years later  I guess the biggest thing is to just try and be understanding of each other.Venting can also help, hah.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 22:21
|
|
|
Thanks. To be honest I should be happy this happened because a later appointment increases the chances of being able to tell the sex. We always apologize to each other after we both calm down so it's not like this is ruining our marriage or anything. It's just stressful. I can't wait to not be pregnant.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 22:26
|
|
|
In your defense, pregnancy hormones making you crazy or not, the gender reveal ultrasound IS a big deal. I booked mine for the day I was 18 weeks, because I couldn't stand waiting any longer to know, and I was counting down the days. Everyone kept saying that they didn't get why I was so hung up needing to know right away, since neither I nor my husband had a preference when it came to gender, but drat it I needed to know RIGHT NOW. It's kind of awesome that it turned out I'm having a boy, because I had already registered for stuff with dinosaurs, owls and monkeys on it, and everyone but me seems to think that girls can't wear that stuff. <  >
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 22:59
|
|
|
Mnemosyne posted:the gender reveal ultrasound IS a big deal. Not to everyone A lot of people choose to not even have one.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 23:03
|
|
|
True, but if you've already decided to have one, I can see why having it postponed at the last minute would cause angst. I do think that my husband learned as my first pregnancy went on, and as this one goes on, that I may not be completely rational in my emotional response to things, but that didn't mean that to me, at that moment, it wasn't completely valid. It took some work to get there, but I feel like having rational discussions after the fact when you're emotionally calmer is a really good idea. Emphasizing that I don't really have control over pregnancy hormones helped a lot, too.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 23:08
|
|
|
I would not have my mom or a friend instruct my husband on the correct way to talk to me during a disagreement/emotional moment. If you can't figure out a way to say that yourself then maybe some counseling would help? A neutral third party is better than mom any day, in my opinion. I would not look kindly on my Mother-in-law or my wife in that situation if I was the husband. Also it was really helpful to me to have a group of people to talk to about pregnancy and how I was feeling because although my husband is very supportive, he doesn't really understand the extreme emotions that may come with pregnancy.
|
|
#
?
Feb 22, 2012 23:11
|
|
|
 Well. Just after midnight on Friday I had my baby six weeks early. Apparently my body decided then was the time and would stop for no man. All told, I think the labor and birth went just about as easily as it possibly could and was nowhere near the nightmare I had built it up to be in my mind, but it helped that he was only 18 inches and 5lbs 8oz. So, Devin Yevgenievich (this poor kid will probably be so culturally confused) was born at 12:32am on February 17th, less than a week ahead of my own birthday. Best present ever. Things aren't so easy with the NICU situation. Going home from the hospital the night I was discharged was brutal and leaving him there every evening is not much better. I even blubber on my way there in the morning. At least he should only be there for 2-3 weeks. Anyone with experience in this area find that it gets easier, or does one just have to persevere until the kiddo gets to come home?
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2012 04:19
|
|
|
I don't have any NICU advice, but man oh man is he gorgeous! I hope your remaining time at the hospital with him is as uneventful as possible.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2012 04:44
|
|
|
Ansiktsburk posted:
I think it depends on why he's there? My first one was born five weeks early and didn't go into the NICU at all. Also, yours looks adorable-- far more adorable and less scrawny than mine did. So I hope he's out in days, not weeks. * Housemate's jury duty ended early (today) and the mother-in-law shows up tomorrow. The baby, meanwhile seems comfortable making me uncomfortable. So the babysitter situation is basically resolved. Unfortunately now my main stress IS the mother-in-law arrival. We get along reasonably well and I normally like her quite a bit, but she has a kind of abrasive sense of humor and enjoys picking on people and I am NOT looking forward to pressure from her to magically force myself to go into labor. I know she'll consider herself to be joking but I don't always respond well to her jokes at the best of times. Oh well. Maybe I'll go into labor at 3 am tonight.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2012 06:32
|
|
|
Olde Weird Tip posted:Well, i was trying to work my way through this entire thread, but my child has forced me to skip to the end early. Just want to pop back in and thank everyone for the advice they gave me on this. My wife completely eliminated dairy from her diet, and coupled with an increase in zantac, our baby turned things around! He started getting happier, smiley, and can sit for periods of time and actually be happy!! Thanks to all in this thread! Anyway, he's three months now, so I guess its time for the other thread, but I'll still lurk this thread, as I think there is a ton to be learned here for parents of young children in general. Again, thanks!
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2012 01:47
|
|
|
I need some advice. My 6-week-old baby seems awfully intolerant of my husband. He doesn't like to be kissed by him, he cries when he tries to play with him, and he will only rarely take a bottle from him (he's mainly breastfed, but we've tried to give him a few bottles of breastmilk here and there so I could have a break, and it doesn't really work). If I leave the room, even if the kid is sleeping, he starts crying, and my husband can't console him. Really the only other person he seems to tolerate and even enjoy is my mom, who lives 2.5 hours away. The situation is only kind of a problem right now since I'm home with the baby, but my maternity leave's up in a couple of weeks and we were planning to have my husband stay home with the baby. (There really isn't another option; childcare options here are almost nonexistent). But I don't want my husband to have to struggle too much and get burned out. Any ideas on how I can help my baby enjoy my husband's company more, or at least tolerate it?
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2012 01:58
|
|
|
Fire In The Disco posted:I don't have any NICU advice, but man oh man is he gorgeous! I hope your remaining time at the hospital with him is as uneventful as possible. chrysoula posted:I think it depends on why he's there? My first one was born five weeks early and didn't go into the NICU at all. Also, yours looks adorable-- far more adorable and less scrawny than mine did. So I hope he's out in days, not weeks. Thanks! I totally forgot to elaborate on the whole NICU thing. Whoops. Assuming my understanding is correct, a NICU stay is standard for any baby born before 36 weeks or so gestation at the hospital where I gave birth. When it came time to push, they wheeled me out of the delivery room and into the operating room because it was right next to the NICU so that they could get him there quicker. Fortunately, he was robust enough that I was allowed to hold him for a couple of minutes before they whisked him off. Anyway, it appears that they hold preemies there until they can nipple a certain amount of food (I forget how much) and their immature digestive system can tolerate it and move along as it should. They start off entirely on IV fluids and slowly decrease these fluids as they eat increasing amounts of breast milk or formula that are raised every 12 hours or so. That's what they're currently focusing on with Devin along with his bilirubin level since he seems capable of maintaining a good body temperature. If the rate of increase of his food intake stays they same, he should be off the IV fluids in 3-4 days, but the nurses warned me that often when preemies hit the higher amounts of food, they lack the stamina to nipple it all initially and that lengthens their stay a little. So far he eats like a champ except for when I'm feeding him and he tries to go to sleep. So, there's not anything really going on with him aside from the prematurity. I'm super curious how other hospitals handle such situations now.
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2012 06:34
|
|
|
Chicken McNobody posted:I need some advice. My 6-week-old baby seems awfully intolerant of my husband. He doesn't like to be kissed by him, he cries when he tries to play with him, and he will only rarely take a bottle from him (he's mainly breastfed, but we've tried to give him a few bottles of breastmilk here and there so I could have a break, and it doesn't really work). If I leave the room, even if the kid is sleeping, he starts crying, and my husband can't console him. Really the only other person he seems to tolerate and even enjoy is my mom, who lives 2.5 hours away. My Boyfriend claims that our baby (5 weeks old now) does the same thing. And admittedly, it is easy for me to console and entertain her but he can do it just fine if he puts a little extra effort into it. Some things that help him: Skin to skin contact. Tell your husband to take off his shirt or something. Wearing something that smells like you or milk (Even just laying one of my dirty shirts on his lap seems to calm her down). Other than that, when I'm asleep he swaddles her really tight and bounces her on his lap and she's pretty easy. When I'm awake, as long as she can see me she won't even cry. She just talks at me. I think she also tends to cry more around him because he's not quick to respond to the early stages of crying/uncomfortableness whereas I can tell with her first couple of coos what's wrong. Sarsaparilla fucked around with this message at 06:40 on Feb 24, 2012 |
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2012 06:37
|
|
|
Ansiktsburk posted:
First of all, Congrats on a healthy baby! I have a ton of NICU experience. My daughter Aurora spent a little over six weeks in the NICU. I couldn't stand to be away from her and I spent so much time there that I got sick and was forced to stay away until I got better. It's really important to take care of yourself. Except for the three days that I was sick, I visited the NICU every day for at least three hours. It really helped a lot to make friends with the nurses. I've never taken care of a baby before and they helped me learn how to feed, bathe, and hold her, and how to change her diaper. What kind of tubes does Devin have? Aurora started out with a feeding tube, two IVs, and a CPAP with oxygen, in an closed isolette with an overhead bili light as well as the bili light mat. At our hospital, Aurora had to be able to nipple all of her feedings, maintain her body temperature, and have no apnea spells for five days, then she had to pass a carseat test. They say that most babies are ready to go home when they would have been about 37 weeks. I'm happy to answer any questions you have. If you want, you can pm me. legbeard fucked around with this message at 11:26 on Feb 24, 2012 |
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2012 11:17
|
|
|
Chicken McNobody posted:I need some advice. My 6-week-old baby seems awfully intolerant of my husband. He doesn't like to be kissed by him, he cries when he tries to play with him, and he will only rarely take a bottle from him (he's mainly breastfed, but we've tried to give him a few bottles of breastmilk here and there so I could have a break, and it doesn't really work). If I leave the room, even if the kid is sleeping, he starts crying, and my husband can't console him. Really the only other person he seems to tolerate and even enjoy is my mom, who lives 2.5 hours away. Skin-to-skin contact is the best thing I can recommend. My baby actually did not like ME very much and and bonded with my husband immediately instead. The most valuable thing that got him used to me and enjoying me was letting him sleep on me. Maybe all three of you could lay down together and spend some time snuggling--your presence might make the experience more comfortable and tolerable for the baby, and if your husband is relaxed the baby is more likely to relax. Wear a shirt of your husband's that he spent all of the day before wearing while you're taking care of the baby to get him comfortable with his scent. Most of all, don't stress about it too much. Your baby will get used to his dad.
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2012 14:42
|
|
|
Sarsaparilla posted:My Boyfriend claims that our baby (5 weeks old now) does the same thing. And admittedly, it is easy for me to console and entertain her but he can do it just fine if he puts a little extra effort into it. I'll also add that when he wakes up from his nap and is crying, have your husband go in first to get him. This might relay that your husband is there to care for him. Also, anytime baby is in a happy mood have your husband trying interacting with you there. My daughter is happiest when she's having her diaper changed and constantly grins and coos at my husband during those times. He's started taking her when she's screaming and walking outside with her and she seems to be getting less scream-y with him (with the exception of mealtime). Try giving him a bottle of breastmilk yourself too and it might help with your transition to your husband feeding him from a bottle as well. Just a few ideas. Good luck!
|
|
#
?
Feb 24, 2012 21:34
|
|
|
Ansiktsburk posted:
My baby spent 15 days om the NICU. He was full term, but had pneumonia. They gave him antibiotics, but he really had a hard time keeping his oxygen up. At his worst, right after he was born, he had an arterial line, IV and the oxygen. He came home on oxygen and had it for another two weeks or so. He's been home 6 weeks now. After I was discharged (48 hours after birth), the hospital let me room in, or keep a room in the hospital, free of charge. No services or nurse of course, but it was still nice to have somewhere to nap, pump and spend time. If your hospital offers this, I would recommend you take advantage of it. They used a 3 hour schedule at my NICU. Every 3 hours, he was changed, fed and generally harassed. I went to these all day and night long. I would skip the 4am one so I could sleep a little. I felt guilty and wanted to be there all the time until a very nice nurse sat me down and told me to get some sleep and I was still a good mom even if I wasn't there all the time. So, take care of yourself! I know it is hard, but it's ok to sleep, grab a meal and think about something other than the hospital. No one, including the baby will judge you or think less of you. Breastfeeding was very important to me. Because of the various lines attached, I couldn't breastfeed right away, so I pumped like mad to try and avoid formula use. He got a little formula, but I'm proud to say not more than a few bottles total. I pumped a lot. For reasons I don't even remember now, we decided to alternate feeding him at the breast and feeding him pumped milk with a bottle. I wound up having to use a supplemental nursing system for a while to get him to nurse properly, but he picked it up pretty quickly and is now a champ. The one advantage to the whole experience was the help I got with nursing. I probably would have given up long ago had I not had the nurses there to guide me. As another plus, he can eat from a bottle or breast without problem. Try to find a positive. Have the nurses teach you to swaddle or watch them for little tricks to calm the baby. Mostly it's just persevering. But you can do it and once she gets home, it becomes a distant memory pretty quickly. She's adorable, I love the hair!
|
|
#
?
Feb 25, 2012 05:40
|
|
|
Oh man, I really wish my hospital did the room in thing, that sounds immensely helpful. I always figured we had a pretty short drive to the hospital, but that time in the car adds up, along with trying to get all of our poo poo together and to the hospital and back. We've been going twice a day and trying to spend as much time around feedings as we can.legbeard posted:It's really important to take care of yourself. Except for the three days that I was sick, I visited the NICU every day for at least three hours. It really helped a lot to make friends with the nurses. I've never taken care of a baby before and they helped me learn how to feed, bathe, and hold her, and how to change her diaper. limegrnxj posted:The one advantage to the whole experience was the help I got with nursing. I probably would have given up long ago had I not had the nurses there to guide me. As another plus, he can eat from a bottle or breast without problem. Try to find a positive. Have the nurses teach you to swaddle or watch them for little tricks to calm the baby. Mostly it's just persevering. But you can do it and once she gets home, it becomes a distant memory pretty quickly.  Until then, he's on a mix of breast milk and formula.legbeard posted:What kind of tubes does Devin have? Aurora started out with a feeding tube, two IVs, and a CPAP with oxygen, in an closed isolette with an overhead bili light as well as the bili light mat. In order to go home, he has to pass the carseat test, maintain his temperature and nipple all of his feedings, while my husband and I have to watch some videos, including one on infant CPR that we have to repeat for the nurse. The good news is that it looks like we'll be cramming all of this video watching into this weekend, because the doctors surprised us yesterday by saying he might go home tomorrow despite the early pronouncements of 'no way before two weeks.' Apparently his IV went out yesterday morning and instead of replacing it, they tried feeding him the amount required to be off IV fluids and he took right to it and has been eating even more. He's also back out from under the bili light, so everyone's hoping it will continue as it has and we can spring him loose.
|
|
#
?
Feb 25, 2012 18:56
|
|
|
Ans, that's wonderful news, I hope he can go home soon! Not to be negative or worry you, but don't be too disappointed if it doesn't happen. They told us at least 3 times he was heading home and it didn't happen. We found it easiest to just stop hoping for it when they told us. I sincerely hope you have better luck than we did. It's great you are able to pump so much, it's hard but keep it up! With that much pumping I bet you'll have success. We only live bout 2 miles from our hospital, but that drive back and forth definitely wears on you. Keep us updated!
|
|
#
?
Feb 25, 2012 19:36
|
|
|
Ansiktsburk posted:...I'm trying new things after talking it over with a lactation consultant and hoping it picks up soon. I love it when the babies do that. Aurora ripped out her own feeding tube and they decided not to put it back in and try to nipple all the feedings, and she ended up not needing it anymore! I had problems with my milk production too, I almost lost it. The amount of water they wanted me to drink everyday to get my milk back was absurd. But they said it helps a lot. One of the nurses also suggested "power pumping". Which is, once a day you pump each breast 5 minutes on, then a 5 minute break, repeat, for 30 minutes, then do the other breast. Even if no milk is coming out. It's supposed to provoke milk production. Another thing that they said really helps is to hold your baby skin to skin as much as possible, or let him try to nurse once a day. Even if he can't latch, it will trigger hormones in your body to make more milk. And of course, the mother's milk tea (I'm not completely convinced that the herb tea really helps, but it got me to drink more water.) It sounds like you have a good handle on things! I think that a huge perk to having your baby in the NICU (besides the nurses teaching you their tips and tricks) is that if your baby can sleep with all the bells and alarms and bright lights in the NICU, then he'll have no problem sleeping though anything else. It's so loud in the NICU, it's like an arcade.
|
|
#
?
Feb 26, 2012 09:50
|
|
|
As far as milk production goes, you've already heard all the best recommendations. For some women, the best advice isn't adequate. For a subset of those women, domperidone, a prescription medication (in some countries; over the counter in others) can be extremely effective in increasing or inducing lactation. I just throw it out there in case anyone struggling with low milk supply hasn't investigated it as a potential option. Obviously, do your research before taking any drugs.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 07:42
|
|
|
I'm sorry if this has been answered somewhere I couldn't find it, but does anyone have a good list of things to bring to the hospital? I've seen huge lists all over the internet with things like makeup that I know I won't care about or need. I'm 38 weeks now with no sign of labor starting and I keep putting it off. I'm just looking for things I will definitely need that I may not think of myself.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 07:55
|
|
|
February 23rd, 2012 my world changed forever. My son, Maxwell Sterling was born at 145pm via c-section. It was not how we preferred things to go, but after 22 hours on pitocin and only going to 6 centimeters, my ob stated it was the best option. Here is the little guy:  He is so adorable and looks like his father. I am in love with him. But... That's where the fun ends. I have had such a difficult time the last 4 days I am so upset. The biggest thing seems to be breast feeding. There was never doubt in my mind that I would breast feed. The benefits were obvious and it's the best way to bond with your child. However, I never took into account just how all consuming it is. Especially since Max got jaundice. He was placed in a bilibed next to my hospital bed so that we could still room together. However, he was to stay in the bilibed at all times unless I was feeding him or he was being changed. After feeding and burping, straight back to the bed. Now i also had to make sure that he feed at least every two hours because the more he fed, the quicker his jaundice would go away. This was a problem. Because Max is sick, he's tired and when I would get him up, he wouldn't want to feed. So I would let him sleep until he woke naturally. However, by that time he was so hungry he would scream angrily and not take my breast. He was just too mad. Then when he was done screaming, he had tired himself out so much that he wouldn't latch. He'd just fall asleep. Or he would latch, but he wouldn't suckle. He'd just fall asleep with the nipple in his mouth. Time and time again I had to have the nurses come and help calm him so that he'd latch and then help keep him awake while on my breast so that he would feed. It was and still is a vicious cycle. We came home just today. I have been dreading it because now I don't have nurses to help me. He still needs to eat as much as he can when he's hungry but he always does the angry/tired cycle. I am at my wits end. I haven't slept much at all since the c-section because of feeding him and people coming in every half hour or so to take vitals, etc, etc. My husband did the best he could to help out, but there's not much you can do to keep nurses out of a room. Because of this vicious feeding cycle, I am not paranoid about going to sleep. I can't sleep. I have to feed him and I want to try to feed him before he gets angry. I watch him closely and jump at every sound he makes. Truth be told, I am overwhelmed and it is becoming more and more clear that I am not handling this very well. I keep breaking down and crying about everything. I'm completely emotional and I want to just sleep but I can't. I have to feed him. I never quite understood the enormity of just how much a baby changes everything in your life, not even when I was pregnant. It never seemed real but now it's so real and it's terrifying. I am terrified. Everything has changed and I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know when things are going to get better or easier just like everyone tells me it will. When? When will I be able to sleep? When will I be able to breath? I am deeply mourning the loss of my old life and while I am excited about this new one, I am so scared out of my mind that I'm having trouble enjoying anything. I look at my son and I start to cry, whispering sorrys to him, telling him that I'm still learning and asking him to please go easier on me. He's 4 days old and I already feel like I've failed him. I am an emotional and physical wreck and I just never hear anyone else talk about how they felt the same way or how they cried at the thought of never sleeping in anymore and then waking up and making pancakes with their husbands. I'm so scared of what I've done to my life. I really really didn't understand what I was doing and I didn't prepare myself emotionally for it. Now I feel the enormity of the situation sitting on my chest and I don't know what to do. I just want to hear that I'm not alone. That i'm not crazy for thinking things like that or feeling this way. Every mom I've talked to talks about the wonderful little things and how joyful they are to be a mom. I am joyful. I love my son, but I can't appreciate the little things that are happening because I can only see the huge ways I'm messing up. I crawled into bed with my husband and cried and told him to tell me that everything is going to be okay. I need someone to constantly chant this to me. I need sleep so bad. I don't know if I can keep doing breast feeding. We may try pumping so the burden is not on me alone to feed and I can get some much needed rest. But even that feels like a cop-out and makes me feel like a failure. I am not, for the record, thinking of hurting myself or my child. I just am so terrified. So scared. I don't know guys. Help.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 11:19
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. Do you have someone at home helping you right now? I haven't been in your position--I did have times when I was so short on sleep that I thought I would lose my mind, but I had help and I had cosleeping. Have you tried waking Max up at regular times to feed him? If there's anyway that you can set an alarm for two hours hence when he falls asleep, nap yourself, then wake up, wake him up, nurse him, and repeat--you might both be better off. Even if you can't sleep, if you can lie down and rest your body, it will help. Can your husband watch him sleep while you sleep--could you sleep if you knew for sure that in two hours or when Max wakes up, whichever comes first, he will bring the baby to you? He's beautiful, and it really does get easier once you figure out a routine together.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 12:02
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe posted:Born via c-section. It was not how we preferred things to go, but after 22 hours on pitocin and only going to 6 centimeters, my ob stated it was the best option. You are NOT alone! It gets better! Bodnoirbabe, I had the same labor issues as you. What I wasn't told was that the painkillers I was given for the surgery (and for recovery) could transfer through the breastmilk and make the baby sleepy. In that first week or so Ezra slept about 23 out of 24 hours. Once I stopped the painkillers and they worked out of both our systems, he became a much more alert baby, and easier to feed. The difference was amazing. All this is to say, that awaking Maxwell up every 2-3 hours really is best. He needs the food and right now isn't able to accurately prioritize food over sleep. I still have times when I sorely miss sleeping in, and my husband and I still don't eat dinner together (Ezra has decided that is fussy time and one of us has to be with him). Mourning for the life you left behind is totally normal (I know I did). And it will take some time but there will be little things that Maxwell does that make the new life totally worth it (my personal favorite is the look babies get when they are are drunk on milk -- it doesn't happen with most of our feeds, but when it happens it is the best thing ever). Also, breastfeeding can be really hard at the beginning, and I felt like I was failing Ezra up until about a week ago; but keep in mind this is a new skill for both of you. In our case, at one month he was still at birth weight and only now at 7 weeks are we successfully showing steady growth and following the growth charts. Would it be possible for you to occassionally pump and have your husband feed some expressed milk to the baby, this would allow you to get a little extra sleep. I think you are on the SA Moms Facebook page, right? Feel free to message me there or PM me through the forums if you need someone to talk to. You CAN do this. I was in a similar position to yours and now I am posting to the Internet after nursing my happy 10 pound(!) baby. [edit: What Susan B. Antimony says] Crazy Old Clarice fucked around with this message at 12:53 on Feb 27, 2012 |
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 12:45
|
|
|
Nthing that, breastfeeding can be really hard at the start anyways (not that I'm some veteran), and sleep deprivation is horrible, so the two together empirically suck. Your little guy is adorable All that hair! Does he wake up during diaper changes? Sometimes mine just wants to sleep through a feed, but if I change his diaper, he angrily realizes that now he's naked AND hungry. If I let Kosta wake up on his own, pretty much the same thing happens too; he's furious and sometimes waves his head back and forth, always ending up where the nipple's NOT. He did this really badly the first few days, to the extent that I thought something was wrong. He's a grunter, though, so if I hear him grunting after an hour or two of sleep, I just take him and change him. He always needs it by then, so I don't have to feel guilty about waking him up--then after, 9 times out of ten he realizes he's hungry. I also keep him unwrapped during feeds, run my fingers on the back of his neck, and in the hospital when he was super sleepy, I'd undress him to keep him alert. Your baby may be different. I just reread your post and wanted to add that I was in the hospital for 4 days and I found being at home WAY more relaxing, even though I thought it'd be terrifying to not have the medical support right outside the door. We got much more sleep once our "THERE'S A BABY IN OUR HOUSE" adrenaline wore off, because there wasn't someone waking us every five minutes for vitals or pills or to ask the same question that was asked 5 minutes ago. I just realized I basically typed the same thing twice, but gently caress it. Also seconding the Facebook group, they were a huge help to me so many times, and the guy's only been around for 3 weeks today.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 16:33
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe: welcome to motherhood. Seriously. You are not alone. The reason everyone only talks about the happy joyful bonding crap is because after that much severe sleep dep you just plain don't remember the rest of it. You are not going crazy, you just gave birth. You're tired, sore, you have a new baby demanding your time and instead of sleeping and taking care of yourself you're taking care of this helpless little human being. Oh and did we mention your hormones are going to be COMPLETELY WHACK for about a week post-partum? This isn't all just you, it will get better. Feel free to mourn your old life. If anyone truly knew what they were getting into before the kid actually arrived the human race would probably die out within fifty years. I will not promise you will ever sleep in again, but you will find other ways to spend time with your husband, and the kid cannot help but get older. This will be both a blessing and a curse. Just remember This Too Shall Pass. Pumping: Do it. Do it now. It will help keep your supply up when kiddo is sleepy, it will help your husband bond with the kid by getting a chance to feed him, and it will give you a chance for some much-needed rest. Even if you plan on breastfeeding exclusively there will be times you want or need to be out of the house and that stored milk and the ability to drink from a bottle will come in handy. You are not a failure if you pump. If I hadn't pumped I'd have given myself mastitis in the first week, my milk came in so hard. I had to just to relieve the pressure. I probably could've fed triplets. Kid sleeping: You absolutely HAVE to wake newborns up every 3 or 4 hours to get them to eat. Remember in the womb they didn't have to do anything but sleep, all their needs were taken care of for them by the umbilical cord. Now they have to actually do something and its all new to them. It sounds odd but some kids you have to teach to eat, especially if they've been drugged via you as mentioned above. Set an alarm if you have to, but get that kid awake before he gets howling mad from hunger. Strip him down to a diaper, tickle his foot or put a cold damp washcloth on them, whatever it takes, but get that poor kid on a feeding schedule for his comfort and your sanity. It'll make things much much easier. Finally, sleep when the baby sleeps. Doesn't matter if you just got up 30 minutes ago and there's five loads of laundry and you haven't brushed your teeth. If he's fed changed and sleeping, GO TO SLEEP. You're recovering from major surgery. Set an alarm, keep the kid in a bassinet next to your bed and zonk out. Have your husband alert you when its time to wake up, and make sure you're trading off feeding times. Don't get angry if he's harder to rouse than you; you have hormones and instinct working on you to keep you sleeping lightly. He's still sleeping normally plus is probably also sleep-deprived. Feel free to physically push him out of the bed if that's what it takes to wake him up, though.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 16:45
|
|
|
car dance posted:I'm sorry if this has been answered somewhere I couldn't find it, but does anyone have a good list of things to bring to the hospital? I've seen huge lists all over the internet with things like makeup that I know I won't care about or need. I'm 38 weeks now with no sign of labor starting and I keep putting it off. I'm just looking for things I will definitely need that I may not think of myself. I packed mine at the weekend, I'm also a 38 weeker (due 9th March, EEK!). Tried to keep mine pretty basic, as some of the lists are ridiculous and after the birth my husband can always fetch me stuff anyway. A lot of it depends on what your hospital will provide. Mine fits in a small wheelie suitcase: For me: Hospital notes/birth plan, dressing gown, slippers, couple of old t shirts, comfy pyjama bottoms, nursing bra, couple of pairs of big panties, big socks to wear in labour, maternity pads, mini toiletries, lip balm. For baby: 3 babygros, cardigan, hat, small pack of diapers, wipes, blanket for when he comes home, small cuddly toy. Healthy snacks for during labour, mini cartons of juice, phone charger, list of contacts for husband to call after birth, change for car park. I keep feeling like I've missed something, but I guess it's not the end of the world if I do. I'm in the UK, so the majority of women only spend one night in hospital if they have a vaginal birth.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 17:58
|
|
|
Re: Packing for the hospital You don't need maternity pads, wipes or diapers. The Hospital will provide a plethora of these - probably even a bunch for you to take home too. I kept it simple. One going home outfit for me and baby, chap stick, mouth wash, nipple cream, and a bunch of snacks like fruit bars and granola bars. I found that I needed to eat something every time I breastfed otherwise I would get SO fatigued. And for entertainment: my kindle, our DSs & ipad (boyfriend and I just ended up watching movies on the ipad for the three days we were in the hospital). Pillow for me & a BOPPY PILLOW (This was my savior while breastfeeding in the hospital). The one thing we regretted not bringing was more stuff for him. He didn't want to leave the hospital once the baby was here and he was sleeping in this chair at the hospital at first so we had a friend bring us a big blanket and extra pillows which ended up being awesome. Then he moved to sleeping in the hospital bed with me and we really benefited from the extra bedding.- it was tiny, but we're tiny so it worked. Haha. The nurses kept laughing at us piled in the hospital bed together. Re: bodnoirbabe Sounds like normal post-pregnancy feelings. PUMP NOW! The second day home I pumped a bunch and the third day I slept a full 12 hours straight while daddy stayed up with a bottle. It was SO amazing and I felt completely recharged. You NEED sleep. If you're having trouble pumping then I would say supplement formula for the day. You are not going to kill your baby by giving him formula for one day and once you're recharged you will be in a much better position to take care of yourself and your child. Also, wanted to mention that Kennedy is 5 weeks old and we're sleeping pretty much the whole night through. I get a good 8-10 hours with only one interruption to change and feed her (and I make daddy get up and change her and bring her to me so I don't even have to get up). So it does get better and it doesn't take forever. In order to do this, I do have to harass her right before bed. I feed her for about an hour and if she falls asleep I keep tickling her feet to wake her up until she won't eat anymore so she is nice and full for bed time. Sarsaparilla fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Feb 27, 2012 |
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 18:49
|
|
|
Sarsaparilla posted:Re: Packing for the hospital This differs greatly depending on your hospital. Maybe finding out what they do provide is a good thing to do, so you know what you need and what you don't. The hospital I was at provided diapers but not wipes. A nursing pillow might be a good idea too. My Boppy was priceless when I was in the hospital (and after).
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 18:53
|
|
|
I'm totally jealous of you guys who could use the nursing pillows. I'm still too sore around the abdomen for mine 
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 18:57
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe: First off, congrats! He's adorable. So much hair! Secondly, regarding the screaming with hunger: my little guy did this too. He would wake up ravenous and be so hysterical that he couldn't latch. One of the nurses suggested we 'primer' him with formula. We'd give him a couple sips of formula from a bottle, no more than ten seconds worth. This would calm him down enough to latch on successfully. I have a question re: supply. Is it possible to increase your supply later in a baby's life? I was breastfeeding and pumping for the first ten days I had him, then went back into the hospital with a horrific infection under my c-section incision. After pumping and dumping for 6 weeks due to two surgeries, an 8 day hospital stay, and some hardcore IV antibiotics I was finally able to nurse him again. Unfortunately, I can't even come close to keeping up with his appetite. He's 10 weeks and downing 30-36 oz per day. I can pump maybe 6 oz/day if I'm lucky. I know formula isn't rat poison and he's thriving on it, measuring in the 90th percentiles for height and weight, but I'd like him to have more milk.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 19:19
|
|
|
Sarsaparilla posted:Re: Packing for the hospital In the UK they're pretty stingy with stuff like that and I can only imagine they've got worse in the last year. In my experience they'll grudgingly give you nappies if they have to but apart from that it's the bare basics and trying to get the sticky black tar poo off with water and cotton wool balls is a nightmare. One thing I wished I had packed more of was pyjama bottoms/pants but that was because my waters broke and then had nothing to put on my bottom half while they ignored the fact i was in labour in the public ward. Obviously in the delivery room it wasn't an issue.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 19:28
|
|
|
Yea, we definitely didn't get wipes. Not that it mattered since my kid never pooped at the hospital. My hospital actually supplied nipple cream, lotion, chapstick, diapers, a breast pump, a pacifier, and all the after care stuff like mesh panties and pads. So it'll definitely vary by hospital. Get a tour of your L&D ward and see if you can't find out what they'll supply you with.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 19:43
|
|
|
Prolonged Shame posted:I have a question re: supply. Is it possible to increase your supply later in a baby's life? I was breastfeeding and pumping for the first ten days I had him, then went back into the hospital with a horrific infection under my c-section incision. After pumping and dumping for 6 weeks due to two surgeries, an 8 day hospital stay, and some hardcore IV antibiotics I was finally able to nurse him again. Unfortunately, I can't even come close to keeping up with his appetite. He's 10 weeks and downing 30-36 oz per day. I can pump maybe 6 oz/day if I'm lucky. I know formula isn't rat poison and he's thriving on it, measuring in the 90th percentiles for height and weight, but I'd like him to have more milk. You absolutely can. Here's some info on Kellymom. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html#increase Are you nursing him at all? The baby will be more efficient at getting milk than your pump. Put him on the breast as often as possible.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 20:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:12 |
|
|
Today is a huge day in the Clarice household! Ezra is 7 weeks old today, intentionally smiled at me this morning (not just gas!), AND for the first time he found his thumb and soothed himself to sleep. We are lying on the couch together, he is sleeping and I am gazing in awe at my tiny little man. Today life is good.
|
|
#
?
Feb 27, 2012 21:22
|
|