|
Just got back from my third ultrasound (second was a bust because the baby was curled up, asleep the entire time) and found out that we're having a girl! I'm a little disappointed because I wanted a boy and my husband and I agree that one kid is enough, but still excited. I'm due August 4th, and it can't come soon enough since I'm one of those unlucky people who, it looks like, will be sick their entire pregnancy. :/
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 20:49
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:49 |
|
|
Just be glad she's healthy! I know someone that really wanted a boy, and they ended up with four girls instead..
|
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 20:57
|
|
|
Oh, don't get me wrong--super glad she's healthy. It's just that I'm the oldest of a family of 5 girls, and 12 out of 15 of my cousins are also girls, so I was kind of hoping for a boy. Still excited to be having a baby, especially after 5 years of trying. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 21:07
|
|
|
Gender disappointment is a real thing, and in my opinion, nothing to be ashamed of. I think where you go with it is what will make or break your experience, if that makes any sense. This is one of the reasons that finding out the gender early is kind of nice, because it gives you the next few months to get yourself used to the idea of having a girl (in your case).
|
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 21:21
|
|
|
Fire In The Disco posted:Gender disappointment is a real thing, and in my opinion, nothing to be ashamed of. I think where you go with it is what will make or break your experience, if that makes any sense. This is one of the reasons that finding out the gender early is kind of nice, because it gives you the next few months to get yourself used to the idea of having a girl (in your case). I definitely needed a week or two to adjust when I found out, which is kind of odd since I wasn't actually disappointed. Before I got pregnant, I 100% wanted a boy, then once I got pregnant, I found I didn't care either way. At some point along the way, I became convinced I was carrying a girl, even though I still didn't feel like a had a preference. Once I found out I was having a boy, I was surprised by how much it surprised me, and how much time I needed to process it, even though there was no real disappointment. I'm really glad we have the technology to find out so far in advance nowadays, because I wouldn't want to have to be dealing with those feelings at the actual birth. Now it's all out of the way and I can just be happy when the day finally comes. Also I bought a onsie with a pirate dog on it, and that's way cooler than the crap they sell for girls. Edit for added pirate dog. 
Mnemosyne fucked around with this message at 22:03 on Mar 28, 2012 |
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 21:46
|
|
|
So I haven't posted in here since I gave birth, but Maxine was born on March 6th after 16 hours of failed labor and an emergency c-section. The awesome natural childbirth I wanted to have was not in the cards and when the surgeon cut me open she found that my daughter was transverse and 8lb 9oz so she was just plain ol' stuck. Because of the situation my body went through and the trauma of going through all those hours of non-progress, I didn't get milk in until a week after she was born and two weeks later still barely get any. I've talked to about 20 people about the situation including an LC and tried a ton of herbs and teas and oatmeal and etc. While I've been able to get from my original 1/8th of an oz per pumping up to about 1/3 of an oz total from a pump, I've had to supplement almost all of her food. She has an awesome latch but she always pulls away hungry and I have to feed her a bottle anyway. I doubt I'll ever be able to exclusively breastfeed with her. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that a ton of people have given me poo poo for "giving up" or whatever you want to call it, because I'm supplementing, but I think that it's just got to be a personal preference and you shouldn't feel bad if you can't or don't want to do it. Before I started with formula she was losing weight and was very dehydrated. So I know that it wasn't good for me to continue on that way. It's really lovely how many people will look down on you if you can't breast feed for whatever reason. A friend of mine was in so much pain from her son's latch that she had cracked and bleeding nipples. It was enough that she stopped because he would pull away from her with blood in his mouth. So Gravitee and Bodnoirbabe please don't feel bad if you're unable to "make it" to breastfeeding as long as people believe you should be able to. It's also natural to feel bad about missing out on the bond. Either way, it's important to make the choice that's best for both you and your child, not just what people tell you is best. I realized that I was just so angry and upset and anxious about being unable to feed Max that I was not enjoying her infancy. Now that she is full and happy I can smile at her and feel good about holding her and not worry about if she's about to start screaming for hours because she's hungry. Also the guide to cloth diapers at the beginning of this thread made everything so easy for me. We've been doing cloth diapers for two weeks and it's so easy to maintain. I'd highly suggest it since it's definitely cheaper than disposable! Here's a picture of Maxine on St. Patrick's Day. No one told me babies faces were so stretchy! 
|
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 22:21
|
|
|
I have a low supply due to breast surgery 12 years ago, and what I did to keep my supply up and to increase the amount of time my daughter spent nursing was to supplement at breast with an SNS. That might be something for you to look into, too, if you are interested.
|
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 22:37
|
|
|
The LC told me about getting a SNS. I might still look in to it. What I have been doing is just letting her nurse after she's eaten some. This way she's calm and gets some milk and also gets the comfort. She really likes just hanging out and will fall asleep very easily that way. I'm just lucky she's a really relaxed baby once she's full!
|
|
#
?
Mar 28, 2012 22:52
|
|
|
Hey thread. I've been googling all day looking for information on breast feeding and thought I'd try my luck here. Wife got c-sectioned yesterday (nearly 10 lb monster toddler-baby) and we've had very spotty luck getting him to latch. He started out pretty well yesterday we were getting him to go at it for 10-20 minutes at a time, just had to re-engage him every minute or so but he took right to it. Then late last night he was more reluctant, and now today we've spent at least five hours with a total result of less than 30 minutes combined time nursing. Online resources have said things like the demerol she was getting through IV after the birth might have made him reluctant and stuff. I haven't seen any other drugs mentioned by name but she did go full general anesthesia (being in any way awake would have caused a panic attack mid surgery) and maybe that's affecting it too? We've been trying skin to skin pretty much every time, and tried both sides with multiple positions, and he's just not having much of any of it. But then, his blood sugar level has remained good despite him not seeming overly hungry, no jaundice or anything like that, so I don't really know what to think. The nurses are pretty insistant on every three hours, I've read stuff online that said that's BS and stuff that says that's a necessity, so I wanted to get some personal opinions from the people in here. Also, my wife isn't the best eater, kinda inconsistent and she's had chick fil-a and applebees the last two days. She's been sucking down water like it's going out of style, but she hasn't eaten an overly large amount, going on two smallish meals a day. She says she's definitely producing, she leaks and all and can express colostrum. Would not eating too much affect her milk in a way that the baby wouldn't like it? Last bit, he's been more sleepy than anything else. I think maybe he hasn't gotten solid sleep with all the activity, I convinced her to lay down and now they're both passed out for the last hour and a half, any outside opinions on how long I should let them stay passed out, particularly the little one? He just seems really inclined to sleep right now and if he's so tired that he's falling asleep when we try to nurse the second we aren't harassing him with tickles and cold wash cloths on the forehead, should we let him do what he seems to need to do? The nurses just seem to have some basic training on a routine they try to maintain, we haven't gotten to speak with their lactation specialist for more than one five minute visit today. They're helpful but honestly some of them seem to know the how to of nursing and really nothing else. Not that I fare much better, but it's frustrating to ask questions and feel like no one here really knows a solid answer. I'm in over my head with most of this, but I figured at least maybe I can do some research. If you've got a source that would be great, if you've got some personal experience that would be greater. Thanks in advance.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 01:57
|
|
|
The first few days my daughter was very, very sleepy. No one told us to wake her up. I'm kind of mad that they didn't because I wonder if that's part of the reason it took so long for my milk to come in. You really should wake the baby up every 2-3 hours to feed him. What will possibly happen if you don't is two things: 1) for me, my daughter got WAY too over excited to latch and would scream and scream instead of latching, and 2) he's used to sleeping all the time and not eating, and if he doesn't keep eating constantly her milk supply won't be stimulated and she won't start producing/he won't start gaining. There are a lot of signs that will show he's hungry even if he's sleeping: balled up fists is one (don't let them put little mittens on him even if he does scratch himself a little bit, it will go away) and another important one is his mouth movements, like opening and sticking out a tongue or when you stroke his cheek if he leans toward the stroke and opens wide. Crying is his last ditch effort to tell you he's hungry and if you wait that long he might be frantic. Also tell your wife she can totally doze off while he's eating once he gets better at latching, so she doesn't lose too much sleep. My daughter is three weeks old and she STILL does not wake up when she's hungry always. When I do wake her up though she will suck down food like she hasn't eaten in forever.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 02:11
|
|
|
To TheSpiritFox - Congrats on your monster-toddler! I've heard from several people that I trust that babies will have a couple hours of alertness right after they are born and then sleep deeply for a long time. If your baby missed that sleep, I can see that his sleep-eat cycles might be messed up. I personally was barely able to feed my baby every two hours and if he hadn't had a medical reason (jaundice) I wouldn't have done every two hours. But I do agree that babies will sleep more if they don't eat enough. One thing I've heard is that bigger babies might hold more in their stomach, so in my opinion that would be something to consider. Anecdotally, we would supplement with formula using a finger and tube when he had jaundice and I had no problem with my milk supply or latching.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 02:59
|
|
|
TheSpiritFox- http://kellymom.com is a great resource for breastfeeding help and lots of women here trust the info there. http://kellymom.com/category/ages/newborn/ should have some good help. Newborns can be super sleepy and really difficult to wake up to get them to nurse; that is totally normal. But if it's been a few hours since his last feed, he really does need to go back to the breast. Kellymom.com says that you should aim for 10-12 feedings a day in the early weeks. And I know it's really hard to make time for it when you come home with a new baby, but breastfeeding takes calories and your wife needs to eat enough to sustain herself and get herself through a very difficult time. I don't think not eating enough would make her milk taste bad to the baby, though. I'd grab some healthy, filling snacks she can eat with one hand (I ate tons of Kashi bars, yum). She can keep them nearby and eat when she's sitting doing whatever. It's great that she's drinking water, though Good luck! I have two of my own and I remember how ridiculously difficult those first few weeks are. Even when someone tells you that it's going to be hard, you probably have no frame of reference for exactly how hard it will be. edit: I see that he was just born yesterday (congratulations, by the way!). This is all so very normal- I remember being up in the middle of that first night sweating and crying, trying to get my son to latch on and nurse. He was either really sleepy or his arms were going everywhere and I had no idea what I was doing. Definitely push to see the lactation consultant again and for a longer visit before you go home. edit again: This, too- http://kellymom.com/ages/newborn/bf-basics/second-night/ Elocin fucked around with this message at 03:51 on Mar 29, 2012 |
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 03:45
|
|
|
car dance posted:I guess the point I'm trying to make is that a ton of people have given me poo poo for "giving up" or whatever you want to call it, because I'm supplementing, but I think that it's just got to be a personal preference and you shouldn't feel bad if you can't or don't want to do it. Before I started with formula she was losing weight and was very dehydrated. So I know that it wasn't good for me to continue on that way. It's really lovely how many people will look down on you if you can't breast feed for whatever reason. A friend of mine was in so much pain from her son's latch that she had cracked and bleeding nipples. It was enough that she stopped because he would pull away from her with blood in his mouth. We also ended up needing to supplement because our baby wasn't growing. She's always loved breastfeeding (and much prefers the taste), feeds regularly, has a good latch, but there just isn't enough there. We've been fortunate that people have been supportive, including the LCs. I'm sorry that you've gotten so much crap. About the bonding: my wife has found that for her, bottle feeding is more of a bonding experience than breastfeeding. The baby will make eye contact and hold her fingers while taking a bottle. It's also good for me since I get to feed baby. She is now two months old, and we're still working to increase the breastmilk supply so that we can hopefully leave formula and bottles behind. Anyway, have a photo! She needs boxing gloves. edit: We tried the supplemental nursing system, but I'm not sure if we were doing it wrong. She quickly figured out how to do a lazy suck at the tube and get the milk flowing, so that she was latching on the nipple much worse than without the tube. We were afraid of teaching her bad nursing habits, so we stopped. What do you do to make sure she has to keep up good technique while using the SNS? TacoNight fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Jan 11, 2021 |
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 05:40
|
|
|
Thanks TacoNight. If you don't mind me asking, what is your wife doing to increase her supply and how successful has she been?
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 05:46
|
|
|
car dance posted:Thanks TacoNight. If you don't mind me asking, what is your wife doing to increase her supply and how successful has she been? She's been taking fenugreek and galactogil (active ingredient saccharose). Also, she's been using a pump, but it's not a great pump. One big problem is that one breast never seemed to produce much at all. At first, it would only produce a few drops when pumping and now she can get 2-3ml. It's progress. She also tried an SNS to increase supply but did not have success with it.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 05:54
|
|
|
TacoNight posted:edit: We tried the supplemental nursing system, but I'm not sure if we were doing it wrong. Gracie quickly figured out how to do a lazy suck at the tube and get the milk flowing, so that she was latching on the nipple much worse than without the tube. We were afraid of teaching her bad nursing habits, so we stopped. What do you do to make sure she has to keep up good technique while using the SNS? The SNS lets you stop the flow to the tube by pulling the tube against the bottle top. When my daughter was little and I was trying to make sure that my supply got as big as possible, I would latch her on with the tube, but leave the flow locked off for a good 10-15 minutes of the breastfeeding session and then only when she started to get squirmy (which was an indication that she wasn't getting milk anymore; I never felt a letdown or felt the milk end so I didn't have any other way of knowing) I would let the flow begin.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 06:04
|
|
|
Would just like to point out that you shouldn't use a pump to determine your supply (how much milk you're putting out). I responded poorly to a pump and I know other women who breastfed well past two and couldn't pump for poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 14:17
|
|
|
Ditto. My best friend breastfed her son so well but did not pump nearly as well. Babies will draw milk out better than a pump.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 15:01
|
|
|
My kid is 17 months old and we've been breastfeeding all along (exclusively for the first 6 months) and I've never gotten more than an ounce from pumping. Bam is right, the pump is not a reliable indicator of how much milk you are making. Your baby is much more efficient at extracting milk from a breast. Even now, I can hand express and spray milk all over the place if I want, but I can't pump enough to cover the bottom of a bottle.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 15:16
|
|
|
Put me down as another one who is having issues with breastfeeding. My son is 3 weeks now and fed well for the first couple of days, but developed jaundice and became a lazy bastard on the breast. He latched perfectly, would suck for a minute then fall asleep. He'd get himself so hungry that he would scream and go rigid, meaning trying to get him back on the nipple was nearly impossible. After a few days of constantly fighting to feed him, he was dehydrated and started throwing up bright yellow vomit. We had to take him to the ER because he was so floppy and yellow, and he hadn't had a proper wee for hours. I was genuinely terrified by this point. We were given some formula while they ran tests, which I fed him whilst in tears, but after a couple of really good feeds he looked so much better. Trouble is I now can't keep up with him so have no choice but to top-up with formula. I'm having to pump because he's still really useless at the breast, and as many people have said, pumps are poo poo. My nipples are killing me, and pumping, sterilising and feeding just seem to have taken over my life. He's having a growth spurt, and I was up pretty much every hour last night feeding. I barely get an ounce from both breasts, but I don't feel engorged or sore if I miss a pump and I have never leaked. It just feels like my milk never really came in properly. The only advice I got from my midwife and lactation consultant was "pump more often" (owch, I can't) or "just stop giving him formula and he'll soon take the breast". I'm going to try some of the suggestions made here, because I would love the convenience of being able to breastfeed. I just feel so frustrated with it and wish I could just pack it in, but I really want him to have the health benefits.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 15:39
|
|
|
For people struggling hard with low milk supply and suffering greatly, you might consider discussing domperidone with your medical provider.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 15:47
|
|
|
I really feel for all of you struggling to breastfeed. For the first week of my son's life, I was SO incredibly anxious and scared, and I was certain I was doing it wrong. He was lazy and jaundiced (I think a large number of babies are) and I didn't know what hunger cues to look for, so he would get frantic and cry at the breast. He lost almost a pound in his first two days and wasn't peeing enough. I was incredibly determined to breastfeed but it just didn't seem to be working right. If it was so "natural", it should have been easier, was my thought process. I spent a lot of time pumping, a lot of time skin-to-skin, I basically just went topless for days so that he could have constant access to the breast. I spent hours online, researching different techniques and watching latch videos (Dr Newman's stuff helped me a lot - http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/). Finally we rounded the corner. It was still about six weeks before I could feed him without incredible pain, but once we hit that 6-7 week milestone, things started rapidly improving. We're at 5 months of exclusively breastfeeding now, and those awful first few weeks feel like a lifetime ago. For nipple issues, a combo of nipple shields, hydrogel pads, lanolin, nipple butter (palmer's or earth angel), expressed BM, and neosporin were all helpful to me at one time or another. For milk supply, LOTS of water, oatmeal, fenugreek, blessed thistle, and as a last resort, prescription domperidone or Reglan are all things to try - Though I agree with others, don't rely on pumping to tell you how much you're producing. Nursing round the clock is the best way to boost supply. There are also patterns of pumping that are best for stimulating supply, as well as minor details that most people overlook, like how the flanges should fit, different kinds of shields, etc. Also keep in mind that a double pump will stimulate better than a single, and electric is generally superior to manual. Breast compression and massage can help enormously too. There is a ton of information online - Kellymom alone can keep you busy for hours with these kinds of tips and tricks.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 20:26
|
|
|
We need some cute newborns up in here to keep our spirits up! 7 weeks is close enough to newborn, right?
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 20:50
|
|
|
yawnie posted:I really feel for all of you struggling to breastfeed. For the first week of my son's life, I was SO incredibly anxious and scared, and I was certain I was doing it wrong. He was lazy and jaundiced (I think a large number of babies are) and I didn't know what hunger cues to look for, so he would get frantic and cry at the breast. He lost almost a pound in his first two days and wasn't peeing enough. I was incredibly determined to breastfeed but it just didn't seem to be working right. If it was so "natural", it should have been easier, was my thought process. This is all so true and so good to hear. For some women and their babies, nursing comes very easily, but for so many, it doesn't. And it's true that really the best "cure" for nursing issues is to nurse as often as possible and stick with it, because a combination of you learning what works best for you, baby learning how to latch, baby's neck muscles growing strong and in many cases mouth growing bigger, all lead to success. The recommendation to stick with it for at least the first 6 weeks tends to be very accurate, because by then, most of the earlier issues with pain and with latches have gotten resolved. But if they haven't, there are still a ton of great resources that can help. Dr. Newman's website and Kellymom are two of the best internet resources, and La Leche League locally can also be a huge help. Don't be afraid to ask for help! I know that hospital lactation consultants often get a bad rap (and rightly so, it seems), but that doesn't mean all of them are horrible-- mine was great. Finding as many resources for help as you can will only be to your benefit! Fire In The Disco fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Mar 29, 2012 |
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 20:58
|
|
|
I too had to supplement with formula from the get go, due to latching problems and not getting a lot of flow. I decided that keeping the kiddo hydrated and healthy was more important than trying to keep him a purely breastfed baby. I felt like a failure every time I had to turn to formula. I also had a couple weeks of toe-curling pain every time he latched on from seriously chapped nipples. Just stick with it and nurse, nurse, nurse is all I can say. The milk will come in, the chapping will go away and pretty soon you'll both be pros at it. Right now I'm on 5 months of breastfeeding and the only down side is one boob got a tiny bit bigger than the other. I call my bigger boob my workhorse, it's the best one for pumping. Pumping is also something you have to ramp up to. I know when I first started trying to pump while nursing full time, I got depressed at how little I got. I think at my best I only got about 4 oz a day from two pumpings. The best method I could come up with was to solely feed from one side for a few nursings and then pump the other side. And get an electric pump, they are LEAGUES better than a hand pump. Breastfeeding is hard and frustrating and I don't know how many times I've wished I've had a valid reason to just give up and switch to formula, but it's totally worth it to me to see how healthy he is, compared to some formula babies that look seriously overweight.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 21:02
|
|
|
One of the best ways to encourage supply is to get in bed topless with your baby in diaper only and snuggle and nurse all day. We did this a few times and it was AWESOME. You both can nap and cuddle, and you can make your partner bring you snacks, books, and DVDs all day. I had my husband set up the Wii in our bedroom and watched Netflix all day. Good times, I wish I had an excuse to do that now! In the end it's all about what works best for you and your baby. No one (who matters at least) should judge you for supplementing with or exclusively using formula. The most important thing is a happy, healthy, mom and baby. Congrats to all the new goon moms btw! PS - Just for extra encouragement, I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 14 months and we're still going strong. It gets so much easier! Here is my facebook status update from when she was 5 weeks old: "I really think breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do and today I'm tempted to throw in the towel. FRUSTRATION" Among other gems like "1am is an unacceptable bedtime" and "I just heard my baby poo poo over the baby monitor." Ahhh, memories. Twatty Seahag fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Mar 29, 2012 |
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 21:15
|
|
|
Twatty Seahag posted:One of the best ways to encourage supply is to get in bed topless with your baby in diaper only and snuggle and nurse all day. We did this a few times and it was AWESOME. You both can nap and cuddle, and you can make your partner bring you snacks, books, and DVDs all day. I had my husband set up the Wii in our bedroom and watched Netflix all day. Good times, I wish I had an excuse to do that now! Yes! The first day we did this was the first day that I felt was really successful, and I barely had to pump that day since he ate so well. It was glorious.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2012 22:21
|
|
|
Thanks for the help guys, the Kellymom site had a bunch of good ideas and I googled some more. He's feeding a bunch better now, we just had to get him accustomed and figure out how to reliably wake him up to get him to eat on schedule, I think he'd sleep all night if we let him. He hates being changed so now our default routine is to change him or pretend to when he's not dirty and that gets him awake and fussy. He's gone from five to ten minutes to sitting there going at it for half an hour or more at a stretch without us having to monitor him too closely. In other news he's already lifting his head up and stuff, which I read newborns usually aren't capable of doing. Not a ton, but if he's lying on our shoulders he's already trying to roll his head around to look at things. Bring me to my next question, I've been using a rolled up sheet to prop him up a little and keep him from rolling around too much when he sleeps, we can't keep him solidly in one place without doing that. Any suggestions on how to do that best, because right now we're improvising. Grandmother in law told us we shouldn't sleep him on his back because of choking while spitting up and I've read about SIDS and not front sleeping until he can turn himself over both ways, so I'm trying to keep him on his side. But he's a bit stubborn even when he sleeps so I was wondering what yall's experience with that was and what I should know or watch out for. Still googling away but I just thought of this and wanted to ask before I try to grab two hours before he needs to be fed again.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 07:31
|
|
|
Back sleeping is the current recommendation. Most babies will turn their heads to the side even when sleeping on their backs. Those side positioner things aren't really sold anymore because of the "back to sleep" campaign. Personally, it never mattered for us because my daughter just slept in my arms on her side. But if the baby isn't sleeping with an adult, on their back is considered the safest. There are ways to do inclines if they suffer from reflux, so you can try Googling that too, if you think it will help. edit: vvv Obviously, you have to make the decisions that work best for your family, but my very, very, very strong suggestion would be to not do something permanent like a vasectomy at this stage. Many, many people don't feel like they want a second child for a long time after the first. It's really a lot more common than not to want to wait. I remember my daughter being 9 months old and thinking to myself, "What the gently caress was I thinking wanting kids 18 months apart? There's no way I'm ready for another!" And so we waited and my daughter was closer to two when the desire for another baby started coming back. I would just really strongly advise you guys not to make any permanent decisions when you're in the middle of arguably one of the hardest stages of parenthood. Fire In The Disco fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Mar 30, 2012 |
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 07:37
|
|
|
Gravitee posted:My son was born on the same day as yours Bodnoirbabe, so I've been right there along with you and your posts. I'm having the same struggles you're having, but I haven't had the time nor energy to post until now. First, the little man (aka Sammy): He's adorable.  I'm sorry you're going through the same troubles we are. I hope for both our sake that our kids get it together soon. I saw a lactation consultant today and am going to a lactation clinic tomorrow. I am still on the verge of giving up breast feeding. Oh, did I mention that we were both diagnosed with thrush on Monday? So much fun! My husband and I have both decided we do not want any more kids. We're looking into a vasectomy for him. That's how awful it's been. I can't read the parenting megathread because it depresses the poo poo out of me. Reading about all the other problems that are going to be coming up, I just get so incredibly defeated. To quote my husband: "The light at the end of the tunnel is so incredibly dim."
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 07:38
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe posted:He's adorable. I think it's time for some bottle-feeding. I don't want to discourage breastfeeding, but it sounds like the misery from trying to nurse is spilling over and making everyone unhappy. Pump and give him that if it makes you feel better about giving him a bottle (it did for me). I lost a lot of blood and my milk didn't come in for five or so days afterwards. We began supplementing with formula and I struggled with breastfeeding. Everything said newborns should nurse for 10 to 15 minutes per side, mine would only nurse for that long total. Worry about supply and him going hungry drove me to break down. My husband gently suggested that I pump because breastfeeding had become so stressful and I'm eternally grateful that he did. I never stopped breastfeeding, but instead pumped and gave him a bottle a couple times a day, plus an ounce of formula after every nursing. As feedings became less stressful (because I knew I could always give him a bottle, so I would know he was getting enough to eat), I became more confident in my ability to breastfeed and the bottle-feeding gradually decreased. My supply also increased so that by two months, he was exclusively breastfed and by three months, he was no longer taking bottles. He never did nurse for more than 6-8 minutes per side, though. I think we as women get so hung-up on breastfeeding exclusively and so worried about nipple confusion, that we lose sight that all that really matters is that the baby gets enough to eat and everyone is happy. A little flexibility in how the baby gets enough to eat can make a huge difference.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 08:33
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe posted:He's adorable. Honestly, choosing to stop brestfeeding isn't going to kill your baby or doom him to a life of obese dimwittery. Anecdotally, the child that I bottlefed the longest (from 6 weeks) is tall and thin as a beanpole and about to sit the credit exams in all but one of his subjects. Of course breast milk is the best source of food but formula milk isn't poison, it is an adequate substitute. And if it stops you and your husband going slowly insane and hating parenthood then it might be a fair trade off. Breastfeeding is absolutely fantastic when it works, but when it doesn't we are lucky that we live in a time and country where other options are available.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 08:56
|
|
|
Honestly all my stress is coming from breast feeding. I live in a state of near panic when he's awake, wondering if he'll latch or if it's going to be another fight to the death. I hate fighting with my baby and I hate feeling like a loser when I finally give in and give him a bottle. I am so sleep deprived also. I can't sleep when he sleeps because my nerves are wound to tight from the feeding fight. I also worry I'll miss his feeding cues so I tend to jump at every noise he makes. Everyone who knows me irl has told me it's ok to formula feed and to not feel guilty, even my sister who is a huge breastfeeding advocate. I just have so much guilt built up because no matter where I go or who I turn to, is drummed into my head that you must breastfeed. Do everything to breastfeed. Sacrifice everything to breastfeed. You are poisoning your kid if you don't breastfeed. He will be a fat, stupid, sickly child if you don't breastfeed. You are a loser and a bad mother if you don't breastfeed. It's even printed in the god damned formula canister! It is literally the worst feeling and this is literally the hardest decision I've had to make and I haven't even made it yet.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 09:12
|
|
|
I'm so glad people around you are supporting your right to decide how to take care of your baby. No matter what you choose, you're going to feel so amazing that first night you can relax and sleep a few hours! It's like the sun coming out on a gray day.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 10:23
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe posted:Honestly all my stress is coming from breast feeding. I live in a state of near panic when he's awake, wondering if he'll latch or if it's going to be another fight to the death. I hate fighting with my baby and I hate feeling like a loser when I finally give in and give him a bottle. How do you do with pumping? You said you were pumping through the thrush - can you produce a good amount through pumping? Looking at your previous posts in the thread it seems to be the latch that you're having problems with rather than production, if that's the case maybe choosing to give your baby pumped milk in a bottle will be a good compromise. You will know your baby is getting the best milk but you won't have the dread of the pain and difficulty of breastfeeding.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 10:39
|
|
|
hookerbot 5000 posted:How do you do with pumping? You said you were pumping through the thrush - can you produce a good amount through pumping? His latch is actually improving. The issue we're dealing with now is nipple preference to bottles. He wants his food NOW and doesn't want to work for it, so he fights me. I'm trying out a breast shield to see how it goes. I pump just fine. I can usually pump at least 2 ounces. If i'm engorged, easily 6.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 12:40
|
|
|
Bodnoirbabe posted:His latch is actually improving. The issue we're dealing with now is nipple preference to bottles. He wants his food NOW and doesn't want to work for it, so he fights me. I'm trying out a breast shield to see how it goes. I'm not sure what bottles you're using, but the slowest flow Tommee Tippee bottles were recommended by the LCs at my hospital for breast fed babies because they're the most natural "feeling." If you're using a Medela breast pump, they also have a new nipple called the Medela Calma that's supposed to mimic the vacuum needed to get breast milk from the breast. I've had to exclusively pump for my baby due to latch issues (he's tongue tied but there's no frenulum to cut, among other things). It's not the easiest thing in the world, but if nursing is stressing you out this much, I would recommend it. It can be reassuring to know exactly how much your baby is getting and some latch issues can be grown out of later on as the baby's mouth gets bigger and they get more coordinated.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 13:21
|
|
|
I've been using that newer Medala nipple and it's really great. She has no problem going back and forth and the flow is very slow. Anyone else have a little one who has hiccups often? She had them in the womb a lot too. I don't know how to get them to stop as all the techniques I'd use on myself don't work on her yet. She didn't mind them at first but she's starting to get irritated by them.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 14:45
|
|
|
car dance posted:I've been using that newer Medala nipple and it's really great. She has no problem going back and forth and the flow is very slow. My daughter had them a ton (in and out of the womb). What flow nipple are you using on the bottle? Lower flow plus stopping to burp her more often may help, but nothing we did really helped for us, unfortunately. Luckily it didn't really bother my kid though. She had them fairly regularly through the first year. e: oops just saw your comment about the flow being very slow so I guess that's something you can't really change. Is it during both bottle and breastfeeding?
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 14:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:49 |
|
|
buttzilla posted:My daughter had them a ton (in and out of the womb). What flow nipple are you using on the bottle? Lower flow plus stopping to burp her more often may help, but nothing we did really helped for us, unfortunately. Luckily it didn't really bother my kid though. She had them fairly regularly through the first year. Yeah, she even gets them when she's just sitting there doing nothing! I thought it might have something to do with her formula. She's not a very good burper and sometimes it takes 10 minutes to get her to burp. I'll just keep trying to burp her more often. Today we have another check up because at her 2 week she was half a lb below her birth weight so I'm hoping she's back up. Honestly, Bodnoirbabe, my advice for you is to try to find a compromise that stops you from being so stressed out. Once I started using formula on top of the breast feeding I'm doing and my daughter stopped being constantly stressed and I wasn't worried about every little move meaning she was going to freak out hungry and flail around on my breast and never stop having hunger cues, I felt like I was able to enjoy her infancy. I feel so much more relaxed and calm and she does too.
|
|
#
?
Mar 30, 2012 15:16
|
|