Dead Man Posting posted:

Sorry, on my phone and can't listen right now, but is this essentially nu-metal?

Also, loving Aussie Metal Week so far.

co199 posted:

So Huntress released their debut, Spell Eater. They have a pretty sick sound and their frontwoman, Jill Janus, has a serious set of pipes. They also know how to market:



It's a pretty cool album, digging the sound. Not sure where to classify them, but it's definitely heavy.

This is the new single: Spell Eater

The Clit Avoider posted:

What the hell, Huntress are pretty terrible guys. There's not much to write home about with the singing, and the music behind it is just so... drab and paint-by-numbers.

Allayed to this is the completely cynical way they're being marketed - a former playboy model playing up her "assets" at every opportunity. It's catch 22, you're either a misogynist for dismissing them or a chauvinist for pointing out exactly why they're getting any "mainstream" attention. I'd imagine they'll do very well selling to sexually frustrated teenagers, but anyone who actually bothers to judge the band on the merits of the music shouldn't bother wasting cash.

The Perfect Element posted:

Unless it's Manowar, of course.

Drifter287 posted:

The HAY GUYS, TITS! stuff is pretty embarrassing, but the music is pretty solid old school heavy metal with some modern flair and the vocals are killer. Spell Eater is probably the strongest track on the album though.

The new Allegaeon on the other hand, is loving fantastic all the way through. It's like the members of Soilwork were cryogenically frozen after Chainheart Machine, thawed in time to hear Enemies of Reality, and then immediately set loose in the studio.

quote:

Ever wondered what two cats experimenting with anal sex sounds like? Then you’ve come to the right place.

Enter Huntress. This is a band that has been hyped up by Napalm Records for the past few months now, with statements like “Lead singer Jill Janus is an operatic banshee with an unparalleled four-octave range” and “The universe spread her legs and delivered Huntress”... and um, yeah. As you can see, they’re not very good at writing press releases.

Nor are the band any good at writing music. First of all, Cuntress are a female fronted band. Let me say that again - Cuntress are a female front band. No one takes female fronted bands seriously, because so far in the history of rock and metal, they have all succeeded in sucking very badly. Say what you will, I just can’t loving stand it. Either the vocalist is good and the music is crap, or the music is good and the vocals are crap. The two goods you’ll never see combined, and you certainly won’t be seeing it here.

Deep down though, a part of me was hoping that this would be at least half decent. Prior to the albums release, I listened to some live clips, and let out mighty roars of laughter. Still, it’s good to keep an open mind about music, and to give bands – no matter how retarded – a fair chance.

The music here is nothing special. It’s just your standard melo-thrash riffs which we’ve all heard eight thousand times before. The guitar riffs are similar to those one would write six months into the instrument, but refuse to use them later on anywhere, because they’re so poo poo. And normally, power metal bands will have this one lead guitar player which has spent all of his teenage years running scales and listening to Rhapsody, so he ends up being pretty beast at it. This guitar player will usually come up with some blazing guitar solos which add a dimension of “at least the leads don’t fail” to an album, but Cuntress doesn’t have that, either. The guitar solos are unimaginative, boring, and on top of all that, poorly played. Granted, I didn’t come into this album expecting Jeff Loomis type mastery, but come on.

None of the music here is memorable or remotely good. Granted, it’s not as bad as Debauchery, but that’s pretty much impossible anyway. But the thing that bugs me most about Cuntress, which I just can’t seem to shake, is that they are a manufactured band. They were put together, in pretty much the same way Nsync were. The singer Jill was a topless DJ in Manhattan and did that for many years, until she got bored of it one day, had her tits done, and decided to join a metal band, and blow her way up into getting a record deal. The other four guys, poor souls, probably thought “Hey, this could be our big break. We now have someone sucking record label executives off for us” and went along for the ride. Sorry to say it, but Jill is not the only one who sucks cock in this band. Even calling them a “band” is pretty insulting, as looking at their promo picture, all I can see are four guys dressed terribly in denim, and what seems to be a professional swimmer.

The only audience this band will find will be twelve year old boys (for the tits) and... I think that just about covers it. “Eight of Swords” huh? More like “Ate All the Cocks”. I can’t believe that I actually sat down and reviewed this before the new Cannibal Corpse or Spawn of Possession, both bands with good music played by, you know, actual musicians.

The only thing that surprised me about this album was the production and mix. These guys really did manage to polish a turd. It must have been a gruelling experience at the mixing board, but they’ve done it. Of course it sounds over produced and over polished – it has to, to mask the complete and utter musical failure they were paid to record. It’s all a copy/paste job in Pro Tools, and the singer does NOT have a four octave voice – she has auto tune, and sometimes even that fails her.

You have been warned. If you’re the type who’s stupid enough to play with raw plutonium, then you’re most probably also stupid enough to listen to this album. I give this project an overall rating of five – and that’s to the guys who drew the short straws to mix and record this thing. And they are probably on Xanax now.

Drifter287 posted:

The HAY GUYS, TITS! stuff is pretty embarrassing, but the music is pretty solid old school heavy metal with some modern flair and the vocals are killer.

Vintersorg posted:

Sab669 posted:

So I guess this isn't really metal, but have any goons checked out Storm Corrosion? I just listened to one of their tracks on YouTube, sounded decent enough. I figure what the hell, whether I like it or not I'm okay with giving Akerfeldt my money.

Vintersorg posted:

Defleshed posted:

That guy has literally never, ever been laid.

Baron Von Ghoulosh posted:

I'm still on the fence about this band. I really liked their EP, Off With Her Head, that they initially released a few years back and had been looking forward to their first full length ever since. I feel like their music has some great potential. It just doesn't have the hooks that some other similar bands may. Maybe their next album. I also like Jill's vocals until she tries to pull off that harsh raspy banshee forced scream poo poo. Makes my skin crawl. Still yet, great tits trumps all the other stuff. Call me shallow or whatever, but I'm still a man god dammit and tits sell!

If I want nice female vocals and great music, I'd listen to the new Christian Mistress album.

Drifter287 posted:

And that "review" is embarrassing. Call them boring and the vocals grating and be done with it. Cuntress? Really?

Morbid Florist posted:

It's metal, we're the pro-wrestling of music. Feelings and educated discussion are unnecessary when we're talking about music with corpse loving and church burning.

Not Very Metal posted:

wait, why did he start calling them "cuntress" again?

quote:

“Eight of Swords” huh? More like “Ate All the Cocks”.

Great Horny Toads! posted:

Choked on perfectly good breakfast, but it was worth it. That poo poo is hilarious.

Defleshed posted:

Ha ha hell yeah bro bitch should either suck my dick or get the gently caress out right

Defleshed posted:

Ha ha hell yeah bro bitch should either suck my dick or get the gently caress out right

Vintersorg posted:

nonsense review

Turk February posted:

Flagitious Idiosyncrasy in the Dilapidation