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Poutling
Dec 26, 2005

spacebunny to the rescue

Davos posted:

I'm looking for some good conspiracy fiction, preferably where the conspiracy is some ancient and powerful Deus Ex or Assassin's Creed type group, Knights Templar secretly controlling a modern or futuristic world for instance.

The first that comes to mind is Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco, which just happens to be about 3 guys who cook up a big hoax about an overarching sinister plot involving the Knights Templar, that actually starts becoming a reality. Eco is awesome and I recommend him to anyone who hasn't read any of his works before. Actually just thinking about it is making me want to read it again.

If you want something less satirical then I would say go straight for the source and read Holy Blood, Holy Grail which is what Dan Brown used as the basis for his Da Vinci code.

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Wuxi
Apr 3, 2012

I'm looking for books with a certain type of main characters - two main characters (male/female), brought together by circumstance/friendship on a quest. Very vague, I know, so I start with some books that somewhat fit what I'm looking for:
Dan Browns The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, the first book of Terry Goodkinds Sword of Truth series and maybe Jonathan Strouds YA Heroes of the Valley. Ken Folletts The Third Twin has the characterisation I want, but is lacking an 'on the road' aspect.
So, no more than two main characters (with the PoV always focussing on them, maybe first person view). The setting should be fantasy/scifi/post-apocalyptic or along the lines of Ken Follet/Dan Brown thrillers, the story itself is somewhat secondary, I'm primarily looking at the character interaction. Travelling should play a big role, wether it's following clues/riddles/mystery, being hunted around or just trying to get somewhere else.
This may have just turned from very vague to very specific, but I don't think I can explain this better.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Do the two characters have to be male and female?

Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is about the relationship between two British magicians, who find themselves enemies, friends, etc., and brought together and chased away from each other by turns as their relationship changes over time.

Another Fine Myth by Robert Asprin is definitely "two main characters brought together by circumstance on a quest." Sortof laurel & hardy meets fantasy wizards.

less laughter
May 7, 2012

Accelerock & Roll

Wuxi posted:

I'm looking for books with a certain type of main characters - two main characters (male/female), brought together by circumstance/friendship on a quest. Very vague, I know, so I start with some books that somewhat fit what I'm looking for:
Dan Browns The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, the first book of Terry Goodkinds Sword of Truth series and maybe Jonathan Strouds YA Heroes of the Valley. Ken Folletts The Third Twin has the characterisation I want, but is lacking an 'on the road' aspect.
So, no more than two main characters (with the PoV always focussing on them, maybe first person view). The setting should be fantasy/scifi/post-apocalyptic or along the lines of Ken Follet/Dan Brown thrillers, the story itself is somewhat secondary, I'm primarily looking at the character interaction. Travelling should play a big role, wether it's following clues/riddles/mystery, being hunted around or just trying to get somewhere else.
This may have just turned from very vague to very specific, but I don't think I can explain this better.
Christine and Mercury in Mercury Falls

Gravy Jones
Sep 13, 2003

I am not on your side

Wuxi posted:

So, no more than two main characters (with the PoV always focussing on them, maybe first person view). The setting should be fantasy/scifi/post-apocalyptic or along the lines of Ken Follet/Dan Brown thrillers, the story itself is somewhat secondary, I'm primarily looking at the character interaction. Travelling should play a big role, wether it's following clues/riddles/mystery, being hunted around or just trying to get somewhere else.

Purely for the character interaction buy Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson and just read the middle bit (Book 2: King of the Vagabonds). Well, there's probably better options, that's just what immediately came to mind when reading your post.

Shnooks
Mar 24, 2007

I'M BEING BORN D:
Anyone have any recommendations for books about life during the Cultural Revolution in China? I think I have the history books covered, but I love reading things that are more personal, such as the book Nothing to Envy.

funkybottoms
Oct 28, 2010

Funky Bottoms is a land man
Slightly later, but Lijia Zhang's Socialism is Great! will likely be of interest.

Wuxi, check out Kristin Cashore's Graceling, which is one of the more enjoyable YA stories I've read in the past five years.

VVV If you didn't dig it, I can accept that, but I'm not sure how it could be called "sappy." I found it to have some really good character development, a quick-moving plot, and I really liked the idea of the Graces (although I wish some of them had been explored further). I certainly think it's superior to The Hunger Games, but cannot recommend the follow-up, Fire (haven't read Bitterblue yet). VVV

funkybottoms fucked around with this message at 14:23 on Jul 7, 2012

Wuxi
Apr 3, 2012

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell

I have that high on my "to read" list, but male/female is what I'm looking for at the moment.

less laughter posted:

Christine and Mercury in Mercury Falls

Followed your suggestion and read it last night. Not exactly what I was looking for, but I liked it. Thanks!

funkybottoms posted:

Wuxi, check out Kristin Cashore's Graceling, which is one of the more enjoyable YA stories I've read in the past five years.

That's actually one of the few books I started to read and never finished. Got ~50 pages in, but it just felt so sappy. I might take another look at it, maybe I missed something by not getting further in.

barkingclam
Jun 20, 2007

Shnooks posted:

Anyone have any recommendations for books about life during the Cultural Revolution in China? I think I have the history books covered, but I love reading things that are more personal, such as the book Nothing to Envy.

Have you read Jung Chang's Wild Swans? It covers a little more than just the Cultural Revolution, but it might fit the bill. Her biography of Mao Tse-tung is good, too.

Hughmoris
Apr 21, 2007
Let's go to the abyss!
Could someone recommend me some good revenge stories, other than the classic The Count of Monte Cristo?

Shnooks
Mar 24, 2007

I'M BEING BORN D:

barkingclam posted:

Have you read Jung Chang's Wild Swans? It covers a little more than just the Cultural Revolution, but it might fit the bill. Her biography of Mao Tse-tung is good, too.

I haven't but I've been recommended it several times. I guess I should read that next!

LyonsLions
Oct 10, 2008

I'm only using 18% of my full power !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shnooks posted:

Anyone have any recommendations for books about life during the Cultural Revolution in China? I think I have the history books covered, but I love reading things that are more personal, such as the book Nothing to Envy.

Spider Eaters by Rae Yang is a really good memoir of the period. There's also a memoir aimed at young adults called Red Scarf Girl that is worth reading. And I just bought another Cultural Revolution memoir, but I can't remember the title right now. It mentions something about the campaign to kill all the sparrows in the title. I'll edit it in when I get home.

Edit: It's called Sparrows, Bedbugs, and Body Shadows: A Memoir, by Sheldon Lou.

LyonsLions fucked around with this message at 01:51 on Jul 10, 2012

Poutling
Dec 26, 2005

spacebunny to the rescue

Hughmoris posted:

Could someone recommend me some good revenge stories, other than the classic The Count of Monte Cristo?

Sidney Sheldon, who has fallen out of fashion as of late, writes some really good, pulpy revenge stories. If Tomorrow Comes is one that springs to mind. Master of the Game is also quite good.

dokmo
Aug 27, 2006

:stat:man
Donald Westlake's "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" is a hilariously over the top revenge book.

Goky
Jan 11, 2005
Goky is like Goku only more kawaii ^____^
As I never took business classes, I know very little about the day-to-day operations of the management world. I have friends from high school and college, presumably making way more money than I am, with job titles like "management consultant", "consulting manager", and "management engineer".

Is there a good book that explains what the hell management specialists, management firms, and management management managers actually do? And why there's so many of them?

Goky fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Jul 10, 2012

Mr. Squishy
Mar 22, 2010

A country where you can always get richer.
JR by William Gaddis is pretty good on that.
:v:

Argona
Feb 16, 2009

I don't want to go on living the boring life of a celestial forever.

A while back, someone recommended We were Burning as an interesting look at how Japan became king of the electronics industry. To whoever it was, thank you. It got me hooked and was researched very well to boot! I would heartily recommend it to anyone who has an interest in the topic. As an aside, according to an amazon review, some parts about the dispute between MITI and Nishizawa were removed in the Japanese version. Can anyone confirm this or is just some bullshit?

Also, anyone care to recommend a good dark humor book in the style of the Perry Bible Fellowship comics? I have read most of Vonnegut's books...

e: a good history of the comics industry would be interesting as well.

Argona fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Jul 11, 2012

Ghost Toast
Nov 4, 2005

Does anyone have any recommendations for fiction with strong female protagonists? Something with warrior women would be great. Any genre is alright.

I was flipping through my bookshelf and noticed that the majority of books I own and have read have only male protagonists, and the ones with female leads weren't badass in the least, and had to be saved all the time. I'd like to read something that is completely at odds with that.

Rabbit Hill
Mar 11, 2009

God knows what lives in me in place of me.
Grimey Drawer

Rabbit Hill posted:

I'm looking for two specific books I had checked out from the library months ago without getting very far.

1) Set in medieval times, about a brother and sister who are traveling in a boat with the relics of a saint. The protagonist is possibly a monk traveling with them, and there's, like, a mysterious air of mystery around the siblings, like they're not who they say they are or something.

2) Set in Victorian London, the main character is a young prostitute who starts working for a mysterious man who may be robbing graves to steal corpses for his studies. It was published a few years before The Crimson Petal and the White, and just like The Crimson Petal, the first chapter of the book is narrated by the book itself, telling the reader to pay attention to this girl. The book was written by a woman with three names (like "Marion Zimmer Bradley"), and I think her last name begins with a G or H. Gillman? Hellman? Hiller? Something like that?

These two books might be written by the same person.

Quoting myself because I found the answer, in case anyone is curious. Book #1 was A Stolen Tongue, and #2 was The Dress Lodger, both by Sheri Holman.


Edit: Wuxi, if you're down with reading YA novels, Kristin Cashore's Graceling and to some extent the next book in the series, Fire, fit your bill. Check out the YA thread here for synopses, etc. For God Mode, coincidentally, they're also both about strong female warrior women. :v:

Also, any book by Margaret Atwood. They're not about warrior women, but all of her protagonists are active, dynamic women who take care of themselves. The Robber Bride at one point explicitly addresses the "needs a man to rescue her" trope, since the book is a twist on the fairytale "The Robber Bridegroom."

Rabbit Hill fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Jul 12, 2012

funkybottoms
Oct 28, 2010

Funky Bottoms is a land man

God Mode posted:

Does anyone have any recommendations for fiction with strong female protagonists? Something with warrior women would be great. Any genre is alright.

You're probably gonna be getting a lot of YA recommendations, then. That said, the previously-mentionedGraceling would be my top pick, followed by Malinda Lo's Huntress, and Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness series is about a girl becoming a knight. For non-YA tough females, there's Zoe Sharp's Charlie Fox series and Cherie Priest's Clockwork Century series; Alan Bradley's Flavia de Luce series are mysteries featuring a precocious, poison-obsessed young woman; and of course there are plenty of classics like Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, and To Kill a Mockingbird. Robert Jordan's massive Wheel of Time fantasy series also features a number of incredibly powerful female characters, but they are so marred by his ham-fisted Mars/Venus approach to gender that they almost don't count.

wheatpuppy
Apr 25, 2008

YOU HAVE MY POST!
Elizabeth Moon writes a lot of female protagonists, mostly scifi but The Deed of Paksennarion is fantasy and a real standout. On the YA/fantasy front, almost anything by Robin McKinley would qualify.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

wheatpuppy posted:

Elizabeth Moon writes a lot of female protagonists, mostly scifi but The Deed of Paksennarion is fantasy and a real standout. On the YA/fantasy front, almost anything by Robin McKinley would qualify.

The only problem with the Deed of Paksenarrion is that if you've ever read a 1st edition D&D sourcebook it's a bit predictable: she even gets her magical warhorse when she hits fourth level, etc.

It's otherwise a good book just very much "this is the story of my D&D character".

It's hard to find explicit "warrior women" that aren't "chicks in chainmail" or "strong female characters". Most strong female characters in fantasy end up being magicians or some variant thereof.

For fantasy I'd recommend the second volume of Ursula K. Leguin's Earthsea trilogy, The Tombs of Atuan, any of Terry Pratchet's witch series (Equal Rites, Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies, Carpe Jugulum, several others) or Tiffany Aching series (basically a YA version of the witch books).

Howl's Moving Castle by Dianna Wynne Jones has a strong female protagonist also.

Some people really like Kushiel series by Jacqueline Carey but it's full of dominatrix "sex magic" or something so I haven't read it.

Lois McMaster Bujold's The Spirit Ring is a neat little one-off about a female apprentice magician in a sort of fantasy renaissance europe setting.

Guy Gavriel Kay's Lions of Al-Rassan has several strong female characters; it's a fantasy/historical fiction novel set in a version of reconquista-era Spain, with very light magic. Main protagonist is a female physician.

The absolute classic stand-alone though for Female Fantasy is going to be The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. It's a retelling of the King Arthur stories from the perspectives of the female characters, very much for adults. I've read it, it's a masterwork, probably one of the pillars of modern fantasy, everyone should read it, I'll never read it again because it's so full of estrogen.

Transistor Rhythm
Feb 16, 2011

If setting the Sustain Level in the ENV to around 7, you can obtain a howling sound.

Argona posted:

A while back, someone recommended We were Burning as an interesting look at how Japan became king of the electronics industry. To whoever it was, thank you. It got me hooked and was researched very well to boot! I would heartily recommend it to anyone who has an interest in the topic. As an aside, according to an amazon review, some parts about the dispute between MITI and Nishizawa were removed in the Japanese version. Can anyone confirm this or is just some bullshit?

It was me, and you're welcome! I think it's a really interesting book, and I'm curious to find other interesting books like that about the social history behind major consumer electronics innovations.

Danger Mahoney
Mar 19, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Are there any really good western horror books out there? I mean western as in "American frontier 1800-1900", not "let's criticize western medicine".

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Danger Mahoney posted:

Are there any really good western horror books out there? I mean western as in "American frontier 1800-1900", not "let's criticize western medicine".

The best I can think of is actually Stephen King's Gunslinger book, plus a couple short stories. But that's not precisely on point of course.

There's also a "Deadlands" RPG book that's kinda neat reading if you're into that sort of thing.

Number Two Stunna
Nov 8, 2009

FUCK

Shnooks posted:

Anyone have any recommendations for books about life during the Cultural Revolution in China? I think I have the history books covered, but I love reading things that are more personal, such as the book Nothing to Envy.

Somewhat related to this, what are some good books on the Soviet Union? Hopefully something that focuses less on the Cold War and more on the historical/social/economic side of things?

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

by vyelkin

Danger Mahoney posted:

Are there any really good western horror books out there? I mean western as in "American frontier 1800-1900", not "let's criticize western medicine".

The first third of Liminal States by Zack Parsons (which I still have to finish, I'm stalled about halfway through).

Also Librarything suggested two short story anthologies:
http://www.librarything.com/work/376415
http://www.librarything.com/work/269114

edit: and most definitely Gunslinger, which basically is the "Western/horror/sci-fi/fantasy/weird" genre defining book

edit 2: and you're definitely going to want to browse this Goodreads thread which has tons of horror western books.

Hedrigall fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Jul 13, 2012

VaultAggie
Nov 18, 2010

Best out of 71?
Does anyone have any recommendations for Soviet History, in particular the NKVD?

Danger Mahoney
Mar 19, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Hedrigall posted:

The first third of Liminal States by Zack Parsons (which I still have to finish, I'm stalled about halfway through).

Also Librarything suggested two short story anthologies:
http://www.librarything.com/work/376415
http://www.librarything.com/work/269114

edit: and most definitely Gunslinger, which basically is the "Western/horror/sci-fi/fantasy/weird" genre defining book

edit 2: and you're definitely going to want to browse this Goodreads thread which has tons of horror western books.

Thanks! I've read The Gunslinger series about four times, but that Goodreads thread is giving me some material.

Oh man, they're recommending Joe Lansdale books... His son still has my Mario Paint, drat it.

Transistor Rhythm
Feb 16, 2011

If setting the Sustain Level in the ENV to around 7, you can obtain a howling sound.

Is there a book about Michael Jackson that's as objective as possible and rises above the weirdo freakshow gossip mill surrounding the man? I'm really curious about his life and career, and am especially interested in some sort of peek behind the curtain of the final 15 years of it. Unfortunately, because he's such a big pop culture figure, it seems like most/all materials about him are built for a "National Enquirer"-level audience. I'd like something that rises above and goes deeper.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Danger Mahoney posted:

Thanks! I've read The Gunslinger series about four times, but that Goodreads thread is giving me some material.

If you like Gunslinger that much and haven't read it, make sure to find the "Little Sisters of Eluria" short story; it's set before the first book.

funkybottoms
Oct 28, 2010

Funky Bottoms is a land man

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

If you like Gunslinger that much and haven't read it, make sure to find the "Little Sisters of Eluria" short story; it's set before the first book.

It's in one of the Legends collections, I believe, and is not bad. That said, the latest Dark Tower book, The Wind Through the Keyhole, is a story-within-a-story that takes between the fourth and fifth and features a heavy western/horror element.

Transistor Rhythm
Feb 16, 2011

If setting the Sustain Level in the ENV to around 7, you can obtain a howling sound.

Danger Mahoney posted:

Are there any really good western horror books out there? I mean western as in "American frontier 1800-1900", not "let's criticize western medicine".

Not straight horror (no "cowboys vs. vampires") but definitely on the dark side of fantasy and western - http://www.amazon.com/The-Etched-City-K-Bishop/dp/189481522X It's very indebted to the Dark Tower and China Mieville's New Crobuzon books, but definitely goes in a heavy "western" direction that might scratch your itch.

Also, Mieville's "Iron Council" is a pitch-black fantasy western with heavy horror elements.

Anime_Otaku
Dec 6, 2009

Wuxi posted:

I'm looking for books with a certain type of main characters - two main characters (male/female), brought together by circumstance/friendship on a quest. Very vague, I know, so I start with some books that somewhat fit what I'm looking for:
Dan Browns The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, the first book of Terry Goodkinds Sword of Truth series and maybe Jonathan Strouds YA Heroes of the Valley. Ken Folletts The Third Twin has the characterisation I want, but is lacking an 'on the road' aspect.
So, no more than two main characters (with the PoV always focussing on them, maybe first person view). The setting should be fantasy/scifi/post-apocalyptic or along the lines of Ken Follet/Dan Brown thrillers, the story itself is somewhat secondary, I'm primarily looking at the character interaction. Travelling should play a big role, wether it's following clues/riddles/mystery, being hunted around or just trying to get somewhere else.
This may have just turned from very vague to very specific, but I don't think I can explain this better.

I've not read any of those books but maybe Mira Grant's Newsflesh books would be in the ballpark, they're post zombie apocalypse, though the human race actually survived with a major dieback until the governments got their butts in gear and by the time of the books things aren't too bad if you're cautious, there's two main characters who were adopted after the first rising and the books are largely first person.

Speaking of which I've read all the books including the two spin offs, any recommendations for other post post apocalypse books, I'd need them to be ebooks on Kindle or iBooks.

Anime_Otaku fucked around with this message at 16:51 on Jul 14, 2012

Cousin Todd
Jul 3, 2007
Grimey Drawer
The last books I really enjoyed were the dresden files series. I didn't like any of butchers other books though. I also enjoyed all of neil gaiman's books, chuck palahniuk's books, and terry pratchet.

What else can I read that you think I would like? I enjoy comedy of every shade and sarcasm.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Kharmakazy posted:

The last books I really enjoyed were the dresden files series. I didn't like any of butchers other books though. I also enjoyed all of neil gaiman's books, chuck palahniuk's books, and terry pratchet.

What else can I read that you think I would like? I enjoy comedy of every shade and sarcasm.

My current "what to read after Dresden" series is the Rivers of London books by Ben Aaronovitch. First book is titled "Rivers of London" in England and "Midnight Riot" in the US.

Imagine Dresden files crossed with Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere and you wouldn't be too far off.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Jul 16, 2012

Cousin Todd
Jul 3, 2007
Grimey Drawer

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

My current "what to read after Dresden" series is the Rivers of London books by Ben Aaronovitch. First book is titled "Rivers of London" in England and "Midnight Riot" in the US.

Imagine Dresden files crossed with Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere and you wouldn't be too far off.

Well, that sounds like it's worth looking into. Thanks.

Eight Is Legend
Jan 2, 2008
What are some essential books about being in your mid-20's, wondering what to do with your life, stuck between youth and adulthood?

AARP LARPer
Feb 19, 2005

THE DARK SIDE OF SCIENCE BREEDS A WEAPON OF WAR

Buglord

AARP LARPer fucked around with this message at 01:17 on Jan 22, 2016

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nate fisher
Mar 3, 2004

We've Got To Go Back

Eight Is Legend posted:

What are some essential books about being in your mid-20's, wondering what to do with your life, stuck between youth and adulthood?

Norwegian Wood was the first thing that came to mind, but there are so many different avenues you can take. Most I know of are more about college (early 20's), which is usually that bridge to adulthood. I also would be curious of any works about the mid to late 20's.

Of course anytime someone mentions about the change from youth to adulthood I think of Brett East Ellis. Such shallow characters bouncing around with no real purpose at all. That said essential is always debatable.

I love Victor's trip to Europe chapter in Rules of Attraction.

Victor posted:

Took a charter flight on a DC-10 to London, landed at Heathrow. Took a cab to the city center. Don’t let people lie to you, hostels are for the ugly. I’m staying at Home House, the most beautiful hotel. Called a friend from school who was selling hash, but she wasn’t in. Met a couple of Brits who take me to of all places, Camden Street. I flirt a bit at the Virgin Megastore, buy some CDs,then follow some girls with pink hair. I wandered around trying to get laid until it started to rain, then went back to Home House. “Ministry of Sound” is dead, so I go to “Rem Forum,” but it’s “Gay Night.” I find one hetero girl and we dry-hump on the dance floor. We cab it back to Home House, I strip her clothes off suck her toes and we gently caress. Hung out for four or five days, met the world’s biggest DJ, Paul Oakenfold. Kept missing the Changing of the Guards. Wrote my mom a postcard I never sent. Bought speed from an Italian junkie trying to sell me a stolen bike. Smoked a lot of hash that had too much tobacco in it. Saw the Tate. Saw Big Ben. Ate a lot of weird English food. It rained a lot. It was expensive and I’m jonesing… split for Amsterdam. The Dutch all know English so I didn’t have to speak Dutch, which was a relief. I cruise the red light district, visit a sex show, visit a sex museum, smoke a lot of hash. I meet a Dutch TV actress and we drink absinthe at a bar called “Absinthe.” The museums were cool. Lots of Van Goghs and the Vermeers were intense. Wandered around, bought a lot of pastries, ate some intense waffles. Bought some coke and I cruised the red light district. I found some blonde with big tits that reminds me of Lara. I gave her 100 guilders. In the end, she pulls me off, and come between her tits even though I’m wearing a rubber. We made small talk about AIDS, her Moroccan pimp and herself. I wake to the sound of a wino singing. It’s 8:00 a.m. and hot as blazes. I pretend to ice-skate around Central Station. Trade songs with a Kiwi girl, then split for Paris. Wandered the Champs-Elysees, climbed the Eiffel Tower for only seven francs— the ticket machine was broken.Got the hang of the Metro, took it everywhere. Ford model party, hooked up with a model named Karina. She chugs my cock at the Marriott, which is good. Played billiards, went shopping I think she gave me mono. Drove a Ferrari that belonged to the Saudi royal family. Made out with a Dutch model in front of the Louvre. Saw the Arc de Triomphe— almost became road kill. ”Oakie” invites me to Dublin, I catch an Aer Lingus flight, stay at the MorrisonDublin rocks like you can’t imagine. Oakenfold lets me spin some discs with him. Irish girls are small as leprechauns. I swap hickeys with a drunk woman after groping my abs and calling me “Mr.LA.” She strips for me in the bathroom of the club. Sneak into the Guinness factory and steal some stout so good my dick goes hard. I fly to Barcelona which is a bust. Too many fat American students, too many lame meat markets. I dropped acid at the Sagrada Familia, which was a trip, to say the least. Cruise up the coast to Museo Gala Dali, but had no more acid, which sucked. Some girl from Canada calls me on my cell, so I let her listen to the church bells. Canta Cruz is beautiful but there are no girls there, just old hippies. So I went to Switzerland where, ironically, I couldn’t find anyone with the time. Took Glacier Express to Shiltone which is beautiful in a way I can’t describe. EuroPass into Italy, ended up in Venice, met a hot girl who looks like Rachel Leigh Cook, and speaks better English than I do. She’s living for a year on only $5.00 a day. We gondola around, buy hash. She thinks I’m a capitalist because my room costs more for one night than her entire trip. But she doesn’t mind much when I pay the bills. I ditch her and hook up with a couple who obviously want a threesome. Much tension, but the doofus offers to drive me to Rome, an offer I jump at. Traffic’s bad, we’re stopped for hours. The wife’s a freak. The guy wigs out on me. It’s like a Polanski film. We stop in Florence, where I see some big dome. A bomb goes off, I lose the weird couple, which is probably for the best. Ended up in Rome, which is big and hot and dirty. Just like LA, but with ruins. I went to the Vatican, which is ridiculously opulent. Stood for two hours to get into the Sistine Chapel, which now cleaned, looks fake. I meet two underage Italian girls who I try to talk into loving each other while I jack off onto them. Bored, I buy them some ice cream instead. My hotel has a gym, so I work out. I bump into some guy from Camden who says he knows me, but I’m sure that he’s a fag, so I lose him. I try to fart and instead, poo poo my pants. In my room I masturbate to relieve the pain in my groin. I dream about a beautiful girl, half in water, stretching her lean body. She asks me if I like it. I tell her she can clean fish with it. I don’t know what it means, but I wake well-rested, masturbate in the shower, and check out. Make my way back to London, hang out in Piccadilly Circus. Swap shirts with some upper-crust Cambridge chick. Hers was an Agnes B.; mine, it cost me my Chanel. She acts stuffy and prudish, but is really wild underneath. She barely looks at my abs, though she wants to. The next day I drop acid and get lost in the subway for a full day and can’t find my way out. I meet a cute girl that lets me jack off onto her as long as no cum gets onto her Paul Smith coat. We get stoned while listening to Michael Jackson records. The next morning, I wake up talking to myself. I had a big bump on my head from flailing in my sleep. I get my stuff and barely make my plane back to the United States. I no longer know who I am.. and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger

Of course after thinking about it this is not what you are looking for because these people are not wondering about what to do with their life.

nate fisher fucked around with this message at 13:42 on Jul 17, 2012

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