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bamzilla posted:I don't find it to be a hardship to just hold the baby while eating v I totally agree, it's just some people seemed to be implying that Mr. Darcy was doing something wrong. We all know how touchy and worried we got with our firsts, I just wanted to reassure him he's not some failure because he can't always do both. Sometimes we forget we had to work this stuff out bit by bit too!
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Jul 14, 2012 01:41
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I'm not okay with setting my baby down and eating in the other room while the baby screams. If that's cool with you, do what you like. But I'm still going to say I think it's a bad idea. I've held three children while I ate and am not super stressed out and anxious yet.  Sometimes babies cry. That's true! And if you've tried everything and they're still crying, setting them down and walking away is the best thing to do, DEFINITELY.
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Jul 14, 2012 01:42
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Yeah, I usually snacked while nursing or just holding her, and my husband and I did a lot of taking turns at dinner. But if that's not working I can definitely appreciate the need to sit down and eat a meal without a baby on hand. Sometimes it's nice to have a couple of minutes where you don't feel like some kind of baby-raising machine.
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Jul 14, 2012 01:43
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I don't think I ate a meal with my husband until she was 6 months old. I ate every meal with her in a boppy, my nipple in her mouth for a long, long time. I also had a colicky baby who screamed all the time, I would never have been able to eat knowing she was screaming for me. Colic is most likely excruciating pain in their intestines, how scary it must be to be put down and have your caretakers walk away from you, especially because babies don't understand object permanence so when something leaves their site, they think it's gone forever. Small babies can't see well yet and recognize their parents by smell, and they're in pain, and they just want it to stop. Even if they're screaming and screaming, being held at least assures them that you're right there. To be put down in so much pain and then think you've been abandoned must be terrifying.
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Jul 14, 2012 01:49
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nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Mar 21, 2017 |
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Jul 14, 2012 02:25
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Lullabee posted:Honestly, I see that SO much on most baby boards. You mean you don't co sleep and cloth diaper? You're a horrible mom!!! It's outrageous and just terrifies us first time mommies. Luckily that's not an issue here. to emphasize: neither of those things are detrimental to a child's emotional and mental health/development.
bamzilla fucked around with this message at 02:52 on Jul 14, 2012 |
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Jul 14, 2012 02:48
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nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Mar 21, 2017 |
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Jul 14, 2012 03:15
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I tried using one for the pants I couldn't button any more and just didn't feel like it was secure enough. It works great for giving the illusion of a long white shirt underneath my pre-maternity shirts that are too short for my belly though! Also sometimes it makes me feel like it's rounding out my belly visually.
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Jul 14, 2012 03:32
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Lullabee posted:For a question: any of you bigger/plus size mommies have any luck with those belly bands? They go up to m/l in stores, but I'm a 14/16 naturally before baby bloat/bump. Would it work or should I just got buy bigger pants? You might try the rubberband trick, too. Put the rubberband (hairtie) around the button, weave it through the button hole, then back around the button. I got about an extra month or two out of that trick. 
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Jul 14, 2012 03:49
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Stairs posted:I totally agree, it's just some people seemed to be implying that Mr. Darcy was doing something wrong. We all know how touchy and worried we got with our firsts, I just wanted to reassure him he's not some failure because he can't always do both. Sometimes we forget we had to work this stuff out bit by bit too! Lullabee posted:Thank you for saying something, Stairs, I would have, but I figured I'd get yelled at because 'you haven't had a kid yet, you don't know'. Thanks for saying this :-) We had a bad night last night and I was close to venting at someone online. Reading what you both put has helped me a bit. He doesn't seem to settle unless you are holding him with both arms which makes doing anything difficult - I've been typing this for the last 15-20 mins in between wriggles (Mum is catching up on sleep this morning). @Lullabee: Ironically I just had to "help" a bumblebee out of the kitchen where it'd got itself tangled between our herb plants and the window. Trying to carefully catch a bee without damaging it when your infant is starting to crack up next door - I do hope no-one is going to complain about me not holding him under one arm while using both hands to trap, remove and release a stinging insect? :-) edit: Do you take the baby to the toilet with you too? Mr Darcy fucked around with this message at 09:09 on Jul 14, 2012 |
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Jul 14, 2012 08:55
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Mr Darcy posted:edit: Do you take the baby to the toilet with you too? I have, yes. I don't think it's quite the same as the eating one-handed thing, given that I can pee a lot more quickly, but I have done both (eaten one-handed and peed one-handed) many, many times.
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Jul 14, 2012 10:43
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Mr Darcy posted:
A lot of women do, yes. We kept a bouncy seat in the bathroom for when I had to shower by myself with the baby in the house, too. These are all things that people do that are completely feasible.  e: especially now it'll be interesting to see how I can balance having a newborn and a curious almost 3 year old when I need to do both of the above things. I imagine I'll be taking a lot of showers at night with the husband home.
bamzilla fucked around with this message at 11:24 on Jul 14, 2012 |
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Jul 14, 2012 11:19
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Heh, yeah, I just always took my showers when my husband was home to take care of the baby. I didn't actually take her into the bathroom with me when she was pre-mobile, but she was a pretty chill baby about being put down for a little while.
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Jul 14, 2012 11:58
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Mr Darcy posted:edit: Do you take the baby to the toilet with you too? At what age do you guys usually try putting kids in restaurant high chairs? He can't sit up alone, but with a little help he's pretty good.
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Jul 14, 2012 13:19
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Ben Davis posted:At what age do you guys usually try putting kids in restaurant high chairs? He can't sit up alone, but with a little help he's pretty good. I didn't bother trying until mine were sitting on their own and eating food, so over six months old. Probably more like eight or so.
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Jul 14, 2012 14:12
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That makes me feel better; my mother-in-law was suggesting we start now, but he's only 5 months.
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Jul 14, 2012 15:31
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nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 23:43 on Mar 21, 2017 |
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Jul 15, 2012 07:06
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Buy a bumbo on Craigslist or at the consigment sale or look for a yardsale type group for your city on facebook. Or ask around your friends/family to borrow one (this is what I did). $59 is sort of ridiculous. You'll use it for a month or two tops. We have a similar consignment sale in my area and I shop there every spring and fall. I buy 95% of my kids clothes there and I always get a bunch of books and toys too. If the people running the sale are doing a decent job, they'll check for recalled items and refuse them. If you have a smartphone you can always google anything suspicious and also check whether or not the price is really a good deal or not.
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Jul 15, 2012 09:21
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I will say that with the Bumbo we loved the tray attachment. But I agree with Chick. Definitely look for one used as you won't be using it for more than a few months (as with most baby items). I actually found one on clearance at Target for $8 the other day!
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Jul 15, 2012 12:36
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I feel really behind. 22 weeks and we haven't bought anything yet. I'm waiting for the baby room to get finished before I start getting anything, but that hit a few snags that I had to wait for before proceeding. At least I did start a baby registry on amazon mostly to remind myself of everything I need.  My husband's car was finally to the point we had to buy a new one. That pushed back getting our windows measured for new windows since we needed to know how much that was going to cost us, I've been crunching at work and my husband is working extra next week and we're going on vacation in 2 1/2 weeks. It feels like its never going to get done.
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Jul 15, 2012 14:45
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It will get done!! Keep in mind that you need very little stuff for a newborn baby. Some clothes, some blankets, some diapers, a car seat and a place to sleep are about all that you absolutely need in the first few weeks to months. You can always work on acquiring the rest of the stuff as you need it. edit: vvv Ugh, yeah, that is annoying. We also had a pile of crap that relied on other stuff getting done to get cleared away. Amelia Song fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Jul 15, 2012 |
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Jul 15, 2012 15:56
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Yeah I know. We don't have room to put anything places until the baby room is done. My sister in law still lives with us and is taking up what will be our new guest room/junk room. Right now we have a big pile of what needs to go in that room in our living room. She's suppose to move out in September but is now hemming and hawing saying she might need to stay till October. I'm getting a bit pissed.
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Jul 15, 2012 16:03
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Ugh, I'm in kind of the same boat. I already have most of the baby stuff I need, at least, but I can't get anything organized because the baby room is currently being storage for all the stuff that's going to eventually move into the room under construction. I can't haul down the boxes of baby clothes and sort out the 0-3 month stuff, I can't haul up the baby swing and see if it still works, etc. My sympathies, Alterian.
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Jul 15, 2012 17:29
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The good thing is we ended up getting a Jeep Patriot for my husband so carting the baby around will be a lot easier than his 2002 Neon and my Kia Rio hatchback AND we can finally take all of our donations to the local charity and get that pile out of the other corner of our living room and laundry room! Hopefully the car is the most expensive baby thing we need to buy.
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Jul 15, 2012 18:11
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I have a random question for anyone who might know the answer. How common is it to go back to your weight before pregnancy after you deliver? My doctor says it's not a bad thing, but I guess it's just weird to me. I weighed 150 lbs before pregnancy, then at 34 weeks I was 185 lbs, and I delivered a week ago. I'm at 155 lbs.  Oh, as a note my first pregnancy went better than I could have hoped for. Not very many cravings, no morning sickness, and I wasn't overly irritable. I guess the biggest issue was finding motivation to do anything at all, but even then I was still physically well enough to walk the dog right up until the day I started contractions. And even on that day I was out in town most of the day and eating somewhere with my boyfriend when they started. My delivery went really well, and recovery is going smoothly too. Haven't really had a need for painkillers since leaving the hospital, but my boyfriend is convinced I have superhuman pain tolerance (I was nearly falling asleep while being given an epidural and even before then I was snoozing in between contractions).
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Jul 16, 2012 16:44
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Bear Rape posted:I have a random question for anyone who might know the answer. How common is it to go back to your weight before pregnancy after you deliver? My doctor says it's not a bad thing, but I guess it's just weird to me. I weighed 150 lbs before pregnancy, then at 34 weeks I was 185 lbs, and I delivered a week ago. I'm at 155 lbs. Congrats on a relatively easy time! That happened to me too, both pregnancies. I don't know that it's really common, but I'm not the only one I know who has rapidly gotten back to pre-pregnancy weight. Just watch your food and liquids intake-- part of my issue turned out to be that I had a really really hard time eating and drinking enough, and that affected my energy levels and breastmilk supply.
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Jul 16, 2012 16:59
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Bear Rape posted:I have a random question for anyone who might know the answer. How common is it to go back to your weight before pregnancy after you deliver? My doctor says it's not a bad thing, but I guess it's just weird to me. I weighed 150 lbs before pregnancy, then at 34 weeks I was 185 lbs, and I delivered a week ago. I'm at 155 lbs. It happened to me too. With this pregnancy I actually weigh less now than I did pre-pregnancy thanks to a lifestyle/diet change with a GD diagnosis.
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Jul 16, 2012 17:40
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Bear Rape posted:I have a random question for anyone who might know the answer. How common is it to go back to your weight before pregnancy after you deliver? My doctor says it's not a bad thing, but I guess it's just weird to me. I weighed 150 lbs before pregnancy, then at 34 weeks I was 185 lbs, and I delivered a week ago. I'm at 155 lbs. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a week after having both of my kids. I consider myself very lucky and you should too -- a lot of women have a very hard time losing the baby weight.
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Jul 16, 2012 18:11
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Thanks for the input! I wasn't sure what to expect but I'm glad it's not as uncommon as my mom would have me believe. I think I eat and drink enough, but I'll look into a calorie guide just to make sure.
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Jul 16, 2012 19:49
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I came back in a few weeks ago to post about breastfeeding woes but hadn't had time to make my "Yay, this baby is finally out of me!" post, so here it is, 4 weeks late. I had a c-section scheduled for June 25th, but on the 15th they diagnosed me with Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy (which people hilariously refer to by the acronym ICP), and I was already 38 weeks, so we moved the c-section up because the risks of Cholestasis are a big deal, and the medicine they had given me to try to control it was making me really sick. Consequently I had my c-section on June 18th, and everything went really, really well for both me and the baby. This is Wesley Ivan <Lastname>, named after my husband's grandfather and my grandfather. 6lbs 10oz and 19 inches long, which is sort of funny because that's exactly my weight and measurements at birth. I took this photo the day we came home from the hospital since I wasn't really in any shape to be taking photos at the hospital.  Despite the fact that I had had the Cholestasis for at least 4 weeks before it was diagnosed, he suffered no ill effects from it. Apparently there's a good chance that it destroyed my gallbladder though, so I'm looking at more surgery sometime soon. The c-section recovery isn't a barrel of laughs, but it's not nearly as bad as a lot of people tried to tell me it was going to be (the instructor at my childbirth education classes said that I wouldn't be able to leave the house for at least 3-4 weeks, and some people tried to tell me that I wouldn't even be able to pick up the baby for a few weeks). Between the c-section recovery and breastfeeding, breastfeeding is worse/harder. Things improved on the breastfeeding front for me after a little while, thanks in part to getting a prescription for some All Purpose Nipple Ointment. Unfortunately, my little guy managed to crack a nipple, and a week later I have some kind of infection in the milk duct on that side. The doctors are calling it thrush (intraductal thrush), though I understand the jury is out on whether these things are actually thrush or if they're some kind of Staph. After whatever ductal infection it is took hold, things have been going downhill, and I'm seriously thinking of giving up and just going over to formula. It seems that thrush, especially thrush that's inside you and not just on your nipples is really hard to get rid of, and having a new baby and trying to do all the things that are required to get rid of this infection just seems impossible. I've been doing it for 4 days, and I don't know how long I can keep it up.
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Jul 16, 2012 21:03
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I looked through the OP and I THINK this post is allowed, but if it isn't, please ignore me My fiance and I just found out that she is pregnant a few days ago, and we are in the initial stage of trying to figure everything out. I am looking for any kind of tips on the best way to be supportive during this time, and what I should be looking to do in the near future to prepare. While the pregnancy was a surprise, we're in a relatively stable situation with a nice home, two new cars, and we both have pretty good jobs...so I feel like we are prepared financially for everything. She grew up with a lot more money than me however, so she is more concerned about that aspect of everything, but I think in time she'll see that we're fine in this area. The biggest thing I'm going through right now is that she has been strongly against having children and has made it clear for a number of years that she doesn't want them. I, on the other hand, have always wanted them. This has been something that has been a point of contention in our relationship for quite a while and to be honest, it's most likely one of the main reasons that we are still engaged after two years, rather than already married. On that subject, we planned on going ahead and getting married in the very near future, as it's important to both of us that we're married when the baby is born (We've been living together for three years now, and have pretty much been living a fully married life in everything except title). We are definitely going to keep the child rather than consider the other options, but I am worried about how to handle the situation, knowing she has been against having children in the past. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation to this? Any tips on how to handle it? I am in a weird situation where I am thrilled, but I am also trying to be really supportive of her, as she has been crying and upset since she found out a couple days ago. I have seen a ton of stuff online about men who didn't want their wife/girlfriend to be pregnant, but none focusing on the other side. Acrolos fucked around with this message at 11:15 on Jul 17, 2012 |
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Jul 17, 2012 11:12
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Acrolos posted:I looked through the OP and I THINK this post is allowed, but if it isn't, please ignore me I was in sort of a similar situation. Once my husband and I got married, he started in on me to have kids, very nonchalantly and sort of knew that I'd have to come to it in my own time, but he was certainly the initiator of our wanting to have kids. Our difference is that I did decide that it was time before we got pregnant, which does make it easier. I had a lot of doubts early on, but once I saw my baby on the sonogram and started feeling him moving, I knew that this was truly what I wanted. We're now 30 weeks and I'm up WAY too early because I can't sleep, but knowing the reason helps. Do you know what her concerns are/ why she doesn't want children? That can be helpful to understand. For me, part of it was being a teacher and really enjoying being able to have child-free time at home as well as sometimes getting genuinely worried about the kind of world my child would grow up in, knowing the high schoolers I teach... I honestly couldn't tell you what exactly made me finally change my mind and be ready, but I'm glad I did.
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Jul 17, 2012 12:28
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SassySally posted:I was in sort of a similar situation. Once my husband and I got married, he started in on me to have kids, very nonchalantly and sort of knew that I'd have to come to it in my own time, but he was certainly the initiator of our wanting to have kids. Our difference is that I did decide that it was time before we got pregnant, which does make it easier. I had a lot of doubts early on, but once I saw my baby on the sonogram and started feeling him moving, I knew that this was truly what I wanted. We're now 30 weeks and I'm up WAY too early because I can't sleep, but knowing the reason helps. Her general reasons have always been that she is concerned about the world that we would be bringing up the baby in. Violence, pedophiles, etc. Basically, just worrying about all of the pitfalls of society. She is excellent with children and seems to do really well with them, but she has routinely said that once they are about 8-9 years old and have more of their own personality, she loses interest in having anything to do with them. She has also made it a point to bring up why she doesn't want children anytime she hears a baby throwing a fit in a store, etc. Honestly, most of the typical types of concerns you would hear from people who don't want children have been said by her at most times, but these are the two that she brings up the most.
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Jul 17, 2012 13:47
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There are a lot of people out there who just simply don't like kids until they eventually have their own. She may fall into that group. Hopefully it's something you guys can work through eventually. Since you guys seem to want to at least keep the baby, maybe a support group or therapy would be a good route for BOTH of you to take (you so you can provide that added support she's inevitably going to need).
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Jul 17, 2012 14:34
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Acrolos posted:Her general reasons have always been that she is concerned about the world that we would be bringing up the baby in. Violence, pedophiles, etc. Basically, just worrying about all of the pitfalls of society. Those are genuine concerns, so make sure you don't discount them while you do your best to reassure her that the chances of any of the major ills of the world hitting your family are very low. One of the things that sticks out in my mind as something that helped turn the tide is that after explaining to my students once why I wasn't ready for kids, one of them told me, "But you're the kind of person who should have kids. That's part of why it's like this, because people like you choose not to have kids and make good ones." That meant a lot to me.
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Jul 17, 2012 15:25
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Is there any correlation between how big my husband and I were when we were born and how big we can expect the baby to be? I was almost 22" but average weight. My husband says his mom said he was a small baby, but he's 6'5" now. I'm wondering if I should expect a baby on the larger end of things. My mom already said not to buy too many newborn clothes since they might not fit very long. Cletus seems to like bananas and starts moving around a lot shortly after I eat one. I don't like bananas (I don't hate them either) but I guess I'll eat more of them. Alterian fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Jul 17, 2012 |
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Jul 17, 2012 15:26
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Alterian posted:Is there any correlation between how big my husband and I were when we were born and how big we can expect the baby to be? I was almost 22" but average weight. My husband says his mom said he was a small baby, but he's 6'5" now. I'm wondering if I should expect a baby on the larger end of things. My mom already said not to buy too many newborn clothes since they might not fit very long. The baby is more likely to be closer to whatever size you were, but it's not something I'd put a lot of stock in to. I was 7lbs 8oz, my daughter was 7lbs 15oz. My husband was 11lbs 8oz. I'd ask about big heads, if anything. Length and weight aren't a huge concern if your baby has an average sized head. Newborn clothes fit to 10lbs and realize that your baby could lose up to a pound or more after birth. But I agree not to buy a ton. Have a few on hand, though.
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Jul 17, 2012 15:40
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Acrolos posted:We are definitely going to keep the child rather than consider the other options, but I am worried about how to handle the situation, knowing she has been against having children in the past. I agree with the other posters, but thought you could use as many data points as possible, so here is my opinion... My husband was the "let's have kids" half of our partnership. I wasn't interested because I never felt maternal. It took until about halfway through the pregnancy that I started getting really excited about the idea, and by the time he was born I was totally in love and even decided to become a stay-at-home mom. So it is very possible that she could change her mind about the whole thing as you two make your way through the pregnancy. Be as supportive as you can (which it sounds like you are already doing) and have realistic expectations. My husband and I were prepared to feel "meh" about the baby at first, since many times it takes awhile for those hormones to kick in. And congrats to you both!
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Jul 17, 2012 18:30
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So I bought and read through the Baby Bargains book, and can't seem to wrap my head around something. We bought a pretty good crib for $300 after discounts and the book is recommending dressers upwards of $400. Is it just me, or is it completely crazy to spend that much on a dresser? My wife and I just bought a couple of plastic bins with drawers, and will be changing kiddo on the playpen that has a changing area for the time being.
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Jul 17, 2012 18:52
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You can get a pretty good changing table from Ikea for $30. That's the route we went this time around since we use the other one in our daughter's room for cubes w/ clothes. In our room we have a small bookshelf and 6 of those fabric cubes for the baby's clothes. Baby furniture is stupidly expensive for what it is.
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Jul 17, 2012 19:05
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