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Benicio
Mar 21, 2004

Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields where glory does not stay
Early though the laurel grows
It withers quicker than the rose

In the last one when the caller starts talking about the Rockets I completely lost it.

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Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?
Hey y'all check out this piece of poo poo
http://blogs.suntimes.com/cubs/2012/09/chicago_cubs_avoid_adam_greenberg_circ.html

quote:

Leave it to Team Dysfunction 2012 to cap off a week of chaos during a meltdown season with a publicity stunt that not even the Cubs would touch.

The Miami Marlins announced Thursday their decision to become the official laughingstock of major league baseball by caving in to filmmaker/Cub fan Matt Liston's incessant marketing campaign to get one-time Cub Adam Greenberg another day in the big leagues.

You remember Greenberg, the marginal Cubs prospect whose only big-league plate appearance, in 2005, lasted just long enough for Marlins reliever Valerio de los Santos' first pitch to hit him in the back of the head?

It was a frightening moment with a heartbreak outcome as the well-liked kid struggled with post-concussion syndrome and eventually failed in efforts with the Cubs and three other organizations to return to the majors.

But a made-for-TV, make-believe call-up to the big leagues at 31 on a one-day contract and the assurance of his elusive at-bat next Tuesday isn't a feel-good, storybook ending as much as it's a farce.

ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together
Is that the same person who poo poo on Greenberg before? I know I've read a ridiculous "this is a mockery of the sport" take on it before.

Akileese
Feb 6, 2005


You know, when you fall asleep on the air, you take the prank calls gracefully, maybe crack a few jokes about it and just move on. If you do that you probably don't get anymore calls. When you start making snide remarks about it, they're going to just increase.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe

Akileese posted:

You know, when you fall asleep on the air, you take the prank calls gracefully, maybe crack a few jokes about it and just move on. If you do that you probably don't get anymore calls. When you start making snide remarks about it, they're going to just increase.

Especially in New York. You're definitely not going to make it any better. Also, pointing out he's making a fortune might work in Idaho, but here he's actually running the chance that the guy pranking him actually does make more money than he does.

Bigass Moth
Mar 6, 2004

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.
:boom:
he knows...

ElwoodCuse posted:

Is that the same person who poo poo on Greenberg before? I know I've read a ridiculous "this is a mockery of the sport" take on it before.

Yeah I don't see the outrage, it's basically a September callup for a lovely team. So what?

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


You would think that part of being a major media personality would involve having at least something resembling a sense of humor, but apparently it is a prerequisite to be a self-serious dickhead.

R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 14:48 on Sep 28, 2012

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

St1cky posted:

Jeff Pearlman wrote some terrible article slamming 5k's for whatever reason. then got ripped for it and deleted it. Forunately everyone finds him to be an rear end in a top hat http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2012/06/this-week-in-f-k-you-jeff-pearlman-10k-purist.html , http://www.stridenation.com/2012/6/25/3116507/jeff-pearlman-hates-5k-races .


Not only did he have a terrible opinion but he's so spineless that he can't take the backlash.

He's kind of right, 5ks are pretty irritating. They're an annoying distance to run.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

He's kind of right, 5ks are pretty irritating. They're an annoying distance to run.

Only because they're JUST short enough that friends who actually like running for some reason continually try to get me to participate.

Vogon Poet
Jun 18, 2004

Someone bought me this custom title because they think I kick ass at Photoshop. They happen to be right.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

He's kind of right, 5ks are pretty irritating. They're an annoying distance to run.

His chief complaint seems to be that 5ks aren't "hard" enough. Any race is "hard" if you give a full effort, so I can only conclude that he's a wuss who doesn't know how to race.

Vogon Poet fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Sep 30, 2012

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

R.D. Mangles posted:

You would think that part of being a major media personality would involve having at least something resembling a sense of humor, but apparently it is a prerequisite to be a self-serious dickhead.
It took you this long to figure out that Mike Francesa is a self-serious dickhead?

Vogon Poet posted:

His chief complaint seems to be that 5ks aren't "hard" enough. Any race is "hard" if you give a full effort, so I can only include that he's a wuss who doesn't know how to race.
Hey Jeff, you know what's REALLY hard?

*Goatse picture*

Doing that to your anus.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
I used to listen to Mike and the Mad Dog every day, because Chris had a way of trolling Mike without Mike realizing it, and he could calm him down and move on just as easily. Without Russo reigning him in, Francesca is just unbelievably awful.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

quote:

Currently a resident of Manhasset, New York. Francesa married his current wife, Rose (whom he usually refers to as Roe), on July 14, 2000[29] and they have three children, fraternal twins Emily Grace and Jack Patrick (7)[30][31] and Harrison James (5).
I cannot for the life of me fathom being married to that rear end in a top hat.

However, this:

quote:

Francesa was born and raised in Long Beach, New York.[26] He is the second son of Michael Francesa, Sr., who abandoned the family when Francesa was eight years old.
I can understand.

EDIT: hahahaha

quote:

He participated in junior varsity high school baseball, but was cut. He frequently refers to his "baseball career" on the air, garnering him some derision because of the use of the word "career" [3] in reference to his high school playing days.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 23:41 on Sep 28, 2012

RembrandtQEinstein
Jul 1, 2009

A GOD, A MESSIAH, AN ARCHANGEL, A KING, A PRINCE, AND AN ALL TERRAIN VEHICLE.

Crazy Ted posted:

I cannot for the life of me fathom being married to that rear end in a top hat.

However, this:

I can understand.

EDIT: hahahaha

That last bit is perfect

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
My dad will be 70 next year, and he looks younger than Francesca. Mike looks like he's on death's door and he's only 58.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

VikingSkull posted:

I used to listen to Mike and the Mad Dog every day, because Chris had a way of trolling Mike without Mike realizing it, and he could calm him down and move on just as easily. Without Russo reigning him in, Francesca is just unbelievably awful.

I have no idea how anyone could listen to Russo's voice for more than like 5 minutes without veering into on-coming traffic just to get away.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
Back when the two were on the air, their separate negatives would combine into trainwreck radio in a weird way, especially when the Yankees were just coming off that late 90's run. Mike would lose his poo poo in the early 00's when they would fall apart and Chris would just troll the ever-loving gently caress out of him. I mainly listened to WFAN for Sid Rosenberg, though. Crackhead sports talk guys are the best.

oldfan
Jul 22, 2007

"Mathewson pitched against Cincinnati yesterday. Another way of putting it is that Cincinnati lost a game of baseball."
In fairness, Francesa can be pretty good at interviews when he's into the topic, so his show is a mixture of actual good content and unintentional high comedy. I don't listen to it every minute or every day or anything, but I am a listener.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Crazy Ted posted:

I cannot for the life of me fathom being married to that rear end in a top hat.

However, this:

I can understand.

EDIT: hahahaha

The best thing about this is that it makes it pretty clear that Francesca edits his own wiki page.

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

I don't care if the Giants eventually won the world series this tirade by Russo when the Giants were knocked out of the 2003 playoffs is still gold:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDzAZ25hEi4

Likewise when a caller suggested to Francesa that Joba was a top-5 pitcher:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI5xJfYH7NI

Also I briefly posted in a Francesa-related forum a few years back. The regulars are so obsessive it's scary.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

jeffersonlives posted:

In fairness, Francesa can be pretty good at interviews when he's into the topic, so his show is a mixture of actual good content and unintentional high comedy. I don't listen to it every minute or every day or anything, but I am a listener.

I'm 99% sure he was the one who introduced that goddamned "Mets core players" meme into the wild.

I do kinda miss the fat bastard, since I really can't listen to WFAN when he's on.

Though I usually get the WEEI Whiner Line on the way home so it isn't too bad.

rockamiclikeavandal
Jul 2, 2010

Here's a cool old school style article on last week's Notre Dame game.
http://magazine.nd.edu/news/33695-conquering-a-nightmare/

quote:

When he first strode onto the hallowed stadium turf, Robinson took the appearance of a mortal man, clad in the Michigan maize and blue. Robinson, the poets said, was the terror in Irish dreams, a bolt of lightning who could break the Notre Dame spirit, just as he had done for the past two years.

But on Saturday night, as twilight descended on South Bend, Indiana, the Notre Dame defense turned the nightmare onto Shoelace Robinson.

Heroic Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o took up the winged mantle and mirrored shield of Perseus. Together with his fierce band of stout-hearted defenders, the Hawaiian strongman petrified Robinson into a frozen figurine. And with their once-tormentor turned to stone, the stalwart Irish defense turned into titans each time Michigan neared the goal line.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

@buzzbissinger posted:

Money is important: hell I'd gently caress a sheep with Skip Bayless. Of course he would talk the whole time. Then bum a cigarette.
EDIT:

@buzzbissinger posted:

Skip Bayless will do anything for money and attention. Hear he has new reality show--Sheepfucking Texas Style on Discovery.

The broken bones
Jan 3, 2008

Out beyond winning and losing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.
Buzz Bissinger also claimed on Twitter that Jews controlled the media and that was a good thing (and also it was OK for him to say it because he's Jewish)

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
Tim MacMahon took kind of a strange angle writing about last night's Cowboys loss.

quote:

Let's look at the bright side: The grand opening of the first lingerie store at a football stadium was a smashing success.

Too bad the Dallas Cowboys got exposed and were stripped of their dignity after kickoff Monday night.

---

The Cowboys are kind of like those frilly panties for sale on the main concourse club near Entry A: major sex appeal, but not much substance.

Stop slut shaming the Dallas Cowboys.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


Crazy Ted posted:

It took you this long to figure out that Mike Francesa is a self-serious dickhead?

I don't live in New York or listen to sports talk radio.

tinstaach
Aug 3, 2010

MAGNetic AttITUDE


It's always funny to read baseball writers accidentally make a decent criticism of WAR, but keep building on it until they've narrowed all relevant statistics down to wins and RBI.

Let's watch our friend Jerry Green of The Detroit News do that now, shall we?
http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20120929/OPINION03/209290399/

quote:

ESPN claims that Trout merits the MVP award — despite Cabrera's possible Triple Crown — on the basis of WAR. This is not the kind of war that Ted Williams fought in twice amidst his Triple Crown-style seasons. Or the war that brought Willie Mays into the Army during his career.

It is that relatively new "Moneyball" style of crackpot Sabermetrics stat described as wins above replacement. Whatever that means.

Mike Trout's WAR numbers are juggled into a figure higher than Cabrera's.

Oh, my goodness!

WAR — and there are versions disseminated by both websites Baseball-Reference.com and fangraphs.com — includes more skills than pure hitting and hitting for power. Stolen bases are considered, a number that actually can be counted.

Fielding likewise counts.

Just how fielding figures in … well, you look and watch. And then guess, and perhaps the guess works. Or doesn't. And then the figure person tries to measure how an ordinary replacement player might compare to the established high-skilled player.

Once upon a time, the MVP was not decided on the basis of some imaginary numbers that are jammed into a murky, invented stat such as WAR.

Again, Major League Baseball has not had a rookie of Mike Trout's magnitude since Willie Mays in 1951. And the sport has not been adorned by a Triple Crown winner since Carl Yastrzemski in 1967.

Unlike WAR there is no stat in Sabermetrics known as LOGIC.

And oops, WAR does not figure in baseball's most important statistic — finishing in first place during the regular season. The Tigers are aimed — likely — for a first-place finish in their division now that all the white flags in Detroit have been ripped down.

A ballplayer who leads his team to a first-place finish — nothing could be more valuable.

There is no doubt that Mike Trout is first over Miguel Cabrera in both WAR I and WAR II.

But Cabrera is first in the American League.

The Tigers are currently seventh in the American League.

Pat Clements
Feb 10, 2008
The Tigers weren't "led" to the AL Central crown as much as "lucked into it because the Chicago White Sox went 6-12 against the Kansas City Royals and had an abysmally bad collapse".

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
Has there ever been an article critical of WAR that doesn't include "whatever that means."

I also wonder if anyone has pointed out to these writers that there couldn't be anything more valuable than a player making league minimum and putting up the kind of stats Trout has. MVP should always go to the best pre-arbitration eligible player.

DO YALL WANT A BOXC
Jul 20, 2010

HAHA! WOOOOOOO WOOO!
Fun Shoe
the mvp should go to barry bonds every year until they make up for colluding against him

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates
The best thing about that argument is, as JoePos pointed out recently, that the Angels have a better record than the Tigers. And they were what, 8-14 when Trout came up? After 22 games, the Tigers were 11-11.

Did Miguel Cabrera drunk drive into some White Sox players or something?

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






MassRayPer posted:

Has there ever been an article critical of WAR that doesn't include "whatever that means."

I also wonder if anyone has pointed out to these writers that there couldn't be anything more valuable than a player making league minimum and putting up the kind of stats Trout has. MVP should always go to the best pre-arbitration eligible player.

Pretty much every time I hear or read something railing against statistics in baseball, the person talking/writing has no idea what any of the statistics actually are. They also all make THE SAME STUPID JOKE about VORP: "Vorp? What the hell is that? It sounds like a Star Trek noise!!!"

If you're going to try and convince me that Sabermetrics is useless, at least spend thirty goddamned seconds brushing up on the topic.

quote:

Once upon a time, the MVP was not decided on the basis of some imaginary numbers that are jammed into a murky, invented stat such as WAR.

"Yeah, right on! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fill out my Hall of Fame ballot. I only vote for players that have 'hustle' and 'aren't afraid to get dirt on their uniforms'" --Every dipshit baseball sportswriter ever.

haljordan fucked around with this message at 14:08 on Oct 3, 2012

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
Batting average and wins are both goofy and complicated as poo poo and if someone invented them today instead of in like 1789 they would both be targets of at least one angry Jon Heyman column.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






MourningView posted:

Batting average and wins are both goofy and complicated as poo poo and if someone invented them today instead of in like 1789 they would both be targets of at least one angry Jon Heyman column.

I know, how can you make a case for batting average as a legitimate "non made-up" stat and then bash WAR/VORP/etc?

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming
SF Weekly just published a big takedown of Bleacher Report. Nothing that you probably don't already know, but reading all the self-loathing from those on the inside is interesting.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






morestuff posted:

SF Weekly just published a big takedown of Bleacher Report. Nothing that you probably don't already know, but reading all the self-loathing from those on the inside is interesting.

What's really hilarious is that deadspin linked to this article and trashed Bleacher Report for simply being one big SEO revenue machine, which is EXACTLY what deadspin does as well. The writer actually had the balls to use the phrase "This isn't journalism!!!"

stuart scott
Mar 9, 2007

Deadspin also produces good content so no

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






stuart scott irl posted:

Deadspin also produces good content so no

Yes, I know I am thrilled whenever someone sends in their story of encountering ex-pro wrestler Virgil. If only they kept the "Oddibe McDowell's monthly water bill" feature going too!

(I know they produce good content now and again, but calling out another site for their 'journalistic practices' is just laughable.)

edit: Bleacher Report's measured, nuanced response to the story:

haljordan fucked around with this message at 17:10 on Oct 3, 2012

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?
Deadspin has certainly done some gross things in an attempt to get pageviews but I wouldn't define them as a SEO farm like Bleacher Report or (to a degree) SB Nation.

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LARGE THE HEAD
Sep 1, 2009

"Competitive greatness is when you play your best against the best."

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

--John Wooden
Deadspin articles have made it into Best loving American Sportswriting anthologies. The day Bleacher Report gets one of its articles in there is the day after the apocalypse.

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