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Fo3 posted:If I don't reply it's because I've got to take care of the baby myself for a while now. Goddamn, that's crazy. At least she'll get the help she needs now. Had my first appointment for this pregnancy today, and THERE'S ONLY ONE IN THERE! So freaking relieved, I had enough trouble with just Chris the first time around. It was an active little bugger too, only 9 weeks and it did a little dance for us.
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Nov 14, 2012 17:21
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Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:Jesus, man, good luck. Not really, see earlier posts about them making GBS threads me off with regards to phone calls while she was in hospital or immediately after. Add to the fact that she, in the past few months, whenever there was a real or imagined slight I made, she called them up to cry or complain, (both sides of the family), rather than deal with things with me. So most of them dislike me for BS she said, so I don't want them here, because they have been asses to me since. If I have a problem I act like an adult, eg calling the ambulance, everyone else in the families have been acting like dicks and I don't want them around, eg ringing at 6am or banging on the door like mad men at 9pm.
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Nov 14, 2012 17:39
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Can any family help you out?
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Oh, Fo3, how awful. Wishing you and yours strength! I have my first OB visit Friday, finally! I'll be almost 10 weeks. Family stuff is still dicey. My sister in law still has not contacted me to acknowledge that I'm pregnant (told them on Halloween, she and my brother have been trying for 3 years and have been through all sorts of fertility treatments) and didn't attend a family party this past weekend, sooooo, Thanksgiving should be interesting. I didn't expect a joyous phone call saying "oh I'm so happy for you, congrats!" but I'm really hurt that she hasn't even loving acknowledged receipt of the information when I did everything in my power to be considerate of their feelings. I just need to let it go and not worry about them anymore, it's their problem not mine. (Just wish I could shake the guilt, ugh.
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Nov 14, 2012 19:20
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So, my MIL called me up in tears saying she spoke to two medical professionals and they both agreed that my son is too young to travel. He'd be 9 weeks when we'd be going on our trip. She said that they told her that his immune system isn't fully developed yet, and he'd run a high risk of getting pnuemonia, and she was afraid that I'd be angry at her for meddling, but she was concerned, and that if I couldn't get out of the trip that she'd take off of work and babysit for me so I could go on the trip by myself. Of course I'm not angry, but now I'm torn. I don't know if what she was told is true. I'm going to give his doctor a call tomorrow and see what she says. If my doctor does say it's okay, and I take him with me, she'll see me as a bad mother. I don't know what to think now. 
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Nov 15, 2012 04:10
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CravingSolace posted:So, my MIL called me up in tears saying she spoke to two medical professionals and they both agreed that my son is too young to travel. He'd be 9 weeks when we'd be going on our trip. She said that they told her that his immune system isn't fully developed yet, and he'd run a high risk of getting pnuemonia, and she was afraid that I'd be angry at her for meddling, but she was concerned, and that if I couldn't get out of the trip that she'd take off of work and babysit for me so I could go on the trip by myself. Well, we could trade parents. My dad (a doctor no less) is convinced I'm being ridiculously overprotective because I told him I won't fly to visit him with the baby (a trip that takes 2 layovers and 14 hours each way assuming everything goes perfectly, which it rarely does) when it's 2 weeks old. Honestly, from what I read (when countering my dad's arguments that it would be fine to fly that far at 2 weeks) it's pretty safe by 8 weeks at the latest with most of the recommendations I found leaning toward 6 weeks for long trips and earlier for short trips. I felt like I was being reasonably conservative telling my dad we would consider traveling that far when the baby was ~8-10 weeks old. Talk to your doc and get him to give you a written note about it if you feel like your MIL is going to guilt you over it. If you feel up to the trip and your doc thinks the baby is OK to travel then go for it! Quite honestly if you let her win now just because she'll be annoying about it she'll just continue to use that tactic any other time she disagrees with your parenting choices. Even if you love her to death, that's not worth it.
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Nov 15, 2012 04:28
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Ceridwen posted:Well, we could trade parents. My dad (a doctor no less) is convinced I'm being ridiculously overprotective because I told him I won't fly to visit him with the baby (a trip that takes 2 layovers and 14 hours each way assuming everything goes perfectly, which it rarely does) when it's 2 weeks old. I'm going to talk to two doctors tomorrow. His old pediatrician (a civilian doctor I know and trust), and the new one that TRICARE assigned us. If they both say it's okay, then I'll discuss it with my husband. If we're both okay with it, I'll take him. My MIL has never been bossy with me about parenting choices, and wasn't very bossy about this, either. She seemed genuinely concerned, and I can appreciate that. With my husband's daughter from his previous marriage, he didn't fly with her until she was 6 months old. So with her grandson so little, I can see why she's nervous. Especially with it being flu season and all. I don't want her to feel like her opinion doesn't matter, so I'm going to ask the docs tomorrow. I spoke to my mom, too. She's been guilting me since he was born about seeing him. I understand that she's been through hell and just started a new job, so she's been unable to fly out to visit, and the rest of my family wants to see him too. I feel like there's pressure from both sides. My mom said she understood if I had to postpone the trip, and she wouldn't be angry. My aunt got insurance for the ticket, so she said that if I needed to reschedule it for a later date that it was no problem. So, if I decide to wait until he's 3 or 4 months old, it's okay. I'll see what the doctors say. I just wish there was a way to make everyone happy, you know?
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Nov 15, 2012 05:32
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dreamcatcherkwe posted:This has never been my experience. A lot of flight attendants have been really rude. They never told me about changing tables or poopy diapers. They did tell me how to hold the baby in case of a crash landing. That's too bad. Maybe I've just been extraordinarily lucky (or you've been really unlucky?) The only issues I've ever had are when I've had to babysit the Dad throughout the whole thing. CravingSolace posted:I just wish there was a way to make everyone happy, you know? Yeah... now that you've had a kid, those days are over. It's really more to do with your comfort level than anything, since you'll see various estimates all over the internet about age-appropriateness. Other than the "oh poo poo"-ness of being a new parent, travelling with a new baby was pretty easy (in retrospect.) They're compact, not terribly mobile, and relatively easy to entertain. Don't run out of diapers. Airports only ever seem to sell size 3 or 4, and they charge about 5x what they're worth.
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Nov 15, 2012 07:58
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CravingSolace posted:So, my MIL called me up in tears saying she spoke to two medical professionals and they both agreed that my son is too young to travel. He'd be 9 weeks when we'd be going on our trip. She said that they told her that his immune system isn't fully developed yet, and he'd run a high risk of getting pnuemonia, and she was afraid that I'd be angry at her for meddling, but she was concerned, and that if I couldn't get out of the trip that she'd take off of work and babysit for me so I could go on the trip by myself. I don't think this makes any sense. I mean, you've presumably taken him out among people before, why is traveling any different just because it's a longer distance? As long as you're not letting dirty strangers sneeze on him or get all up in his face with their dirty hands, he'll be fine.
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Nov 15, 2012 08:54
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That's what I figured. I'm asking his pediatricians to be sure and so that she'll have some peace of mind, too. I think she's worried because the airports are full of people, which means more germs or something. My mom checked online to see what the flu levels or whatnot are like. They're very low in my area and 'sporadic' in PA. Whatever that means. I can see why she's worried and I just don't want her to think that I don't care about how she feels. I do, and I appreciate her concern. She's just being a good grandma. I felt so awful when she cried. She was so worried that I'd be angry with her.
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Nov 15, 2012 09:05
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sudont posted:Oh, Fo3, how awful. Wishing you and yours strength! Today the psych hospital where the ambulance took her to last night transfered her to the "mothers and babies" unit today. They called me up to ask me to take Ben and supplies there where they will look after them both. So if you see me posting about or getting drunk, I'm not ignoring the baby, he's not here anymore. Fo3 fucked around with this message at 12:04 on Nov 15, 2012 |
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Nov 15, 2012 12:00
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I flew with Chris when he was around three months old and there were definitely mothers with kids younger than him flying (I had to wait in line for the changing table at the airport). He did fine too, I kept him awake before the flight and he pretty much slept the whole way. I think most airplane bathrooms have a nice big changing table that folds out over the toilet, and on the plus side the bathrooms are so small everything is within reach.
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Nov 15, 2012 14:40
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Well, I spoke to both his old pediatrician and his current one and both said that travelling should be fine. His current one said that if he develops a fever from the vaccines or gets sick, then obviously reschedule the trip. But aside from that, she doesn't see a problem. I told my MIL what they said and got 'should be fine, not WILL be' as a response. Well, no. Not 'WILL' be. No one can see the future, and no matter how old he is there will always be the possibility that he'll get sick. Now I'm concerned that even with the doctors giving me the 'okay' to go, she'll still think I'm a crappy mother if I do. drat it.
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Nov 15, 2012 17:19
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Solace....you aren't going to make everyone happy all of the time, so as long as you and your doctors are comfortable with it, feel free to make whatever decision you want. So, NT scans/screenings... Who has all had them? What was your experience?
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Nov 15, 2012 17:28
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Ceridwen posted:Well, we could trade parents. My dad (a doctor no less) is convinced I'm being ridiculously overprotective because I told him I won't fly to visit him with the baby (a trip that takes 2 layovers and 14 hours each way assuming everything goes perfectly, which it rarely does) when it's 2 weeks old. Even IF your kid's health could be guaranteed, at two weeks, you'll be in the thick of hormonal wackiness and sleep deprivation and who knows how you'd be physically. Traveling that long is madness in the healthiest of states, and your dad is kind of a dick to not consider your well-being.
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Nov 15, 2012 17:29
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sheri posted:
Is that the scan/blood test for Downs syndrome? I had the scan last Wednesday and blood taken on my booking appointment a few weeks back. Results came through today to say I was in the low risk category (no more details than that). As far as it goes it was fine, scanning can take a while if the baby is in a stupid position and because it's such a short window of opportunity I think it's best to go early rather than late - my sister in law went when she thought she was 13 weeks and it turned out she was 14 and a half so too late to do the measurement.
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Nov 15, 2012 17:35
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Fo3 posted:The maternity hospital has a small 8 bed clinic for treatment of mothers with newborns suffering mental problems. I hope you have someone to talk to as well, Fo3. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you.
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Nov 15, 2012 17:36
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sheri posted:Solace....you aren't going to make everyone happy all of the time, so as long as you and your doctors are comfortable with it, feel free to make whatever decision you want. I had all the screenings and tests, because I am 36 *and* my husband has 2 uncles (His maternal uncles) with Downs syndrome, which I guess is statistically improbable. I was a bit worried, but between the blood tests and the NT ultrasound, they reduced the probability of Downs to 1/51,000 and the other similar chromosonal disorder to 1/10,000. Pretty straightforward, and everyone was very willing to explain all the markers and measurements etc to me.
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Nov 15, 2012 19:26
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Chickalicious posted:Even IF your kid's health could be guaranteed, at two weeks, you'll be in the thick of hormonal wackiness and sleep deprivation and who knows how you'd be physically. Traveling that long is madness in the healthiest of states, and your dad is kind of a dick to not consider your well-being. As I assure you I pointed out to him. I love my dad but he can be kind of a narcissistic rear end in a top hat. He knows it. The upside is that I can be completely blunt with him and he doesn't get pissy over it. About halfway through the conversation I asked if he'd consulted with my stepmother about this plan and he got real quiet. She has talked some sense into him for me (my stepmom is awesome). Sheri: We did the NT screen a little over a month ago. We only did the first tri portion (not the integrated screen that includes the second trimester bloodwork as well). My husband was very freaked out about the chance of DS and was pushing for an amnio before the screen but was happy enough with our results to back down from that. We skipped the second tri bloodwork because I'm at a high risk of getting a false positive on the AFP portion due to all the bleeding I've had with this pregnancy. We're relying on the anatomy scan to look for neural tube defects (which is what the AFP test is for). The biggest downside is that we have to pay for the NT screen ourselves because my insurance will only cover the second trimester bloodwork, not the first trimester screening. The scan itself was a lot of fun. We went on the very early end (11w0d) but were pretty confident since I'd had a few scans before and the baby was measuring 2-3 days ahead each time. It was the same at the NT scan (3 days ahead). The baby was really moving all over the place and finally looked like a tiny human thing, which was cool. The bloodwork involves a finger prick (or a couple of them since they need a fair bit of blood). Results took less than a week and I came back low risk (1:5400 for DS, 1:10000 for the others).
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Nov 15, 2012 19:38
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sheri posted:
I had it and thought it was awesome on several levels. First, it was the first ultrasound where the baby actually looks like a baby, so that's fun to see. Secondly, it really helped keep me from worrying about things. It helped allay my fears because the results were good, and because I could physically see things like legs and arms and a head during the scan. It does check for more than Down's, so not having anyone with Down's in your family doesn't matter. If your insurance would cover it, I think there's basically no reason not to get it done. I wasn't sure if my insurance was going to cover it, and I think it was only going to cost me $200 if the insurance wouldn't cover it. I would get it done for any subsequent pregnancies, even if I had to pay out of pocket.
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Nov 15, 2012 19:58
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Just got a text from my wife that reads, "1cm dilated, 80% effaced". Currently trying to finish my work without freaking out.
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Nov 15, 2012 20:45
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Papercut posted:Just got a text from my wife that reads, "1cm dilated, 80% effaced". Currently trying to finish my work without freaking out. There's no need to freak out. I measured like that for weeks.
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Nov 15, 2012 20:48
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Papercut posted:Just got a text from my wife that reads, "1cm dilated, 80% effaced". Currently trying to finish my work without freaking out. I'm now 40 weeks 5 days and 4 cm/50%... she's not going anywhere.
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Nov 15, 2012 20:49
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Chickalicious posted:There's no need to freak out. I measured like that for weeks. I know she's not in labor yet, but it's still exciting. She wasn't effaced or dilated at all at her appointment on Friday but the baby's head had moved way down. I think it will be this weekend.
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Nov 15, 2012 20:50
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Yeah. I measured 1 cm on Monday and I'm still waiting. My due date is on Saturday. I've been having labor is imminent symptoms all week. I wish it would just hurry up.
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Nov 15, 2012 20:50
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Alterian posted:Yeah. I measured 1 cm on Monday and I'm still waiting. My due date is on Saturday. I've been having labor is imminent symptoms all week. I wish it would just hurry up. Yeah.. I'm going in for a membrane attack tomorrow and then being induced on Monday.. I can't even get excited about labor symptoms anymore because they've all been lies. Monday. Monday. Monday.... 
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Nov 15, 2012 20:52
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I got a little excited a couple days ago because I got suddenly nauseous after a day of cervical pain and light spotting and really strong BH contractions. (not painful, just really firm ones) We're going to go walking around today and I'll be bouncing on my exercise ball tomorrow. I want to have the baby before Thanksgiving. Funny enough my husband is descended from 2 pilgrims.Edit: I want the baby to come out so I can go on maternity leave! Every time I'm idle and then move I get a firm BH contraction. Edit edit: All these SA babies due around the same time. Alterian fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Nov 15, 2012 |
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Nov 15, 2012 20:55
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Alterian posted:I got a little excited a couple days ago because I got suddenly nauseous after a day of cervical pain and light spotting and really strong BH contractions. (not painful, just really firm ones)
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Nov 15, 2012 21:04
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I only did the blood test with Chris, and all I can say us - check to see how much your insurance will cover first. I got a nasty $500 surprise bill. I guess most insurances don't cover it and just let it work towards your deductible. Apparently this time around the test has gotten more accurate... and more expensive. I'm debating whether or not my peace of mind is worth $800 or if I'll just take my chances.
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Nov 15, 2012 23:25
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I have Catholic insurance (which doesn't cover any prenatal testing) so I went with a newer test called the MaterniT21 Plus. It can be done pretty early - I think around 10 weeks or so. Here's the website with info on the test: http://www.sequenomcmm.com/Home/Health-Care-Professionals/Trisomy-21/About-the-Test It cost about $475 with insurance - insurance didn't actually pay for anything, but if you have any insurance the company will try to bill them and then just eat the cost when it's denied. I just wanted to know pretty early and, because I'm older, there's a bigger chance I'd get a false positive with the other screening tests like I did with my first baby and spend the entire pregnancy worrying.
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Nov 15, 2012 23:33
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Since my baby boy's about to be a month old and I'm ready to research cloth diapers does anyone have a suggestion of where to start? I'm overwhelmed everytime I try to look it up. EDIT: I reread the first post and found some links. doh. Umbilical cord. Our pediatrician said some dried blood to clean up is normal when it falls off. My son's has been off for a week now and I just cleaned a couple little bits out of his belly button today. Hdip fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Nov 16, 2012 |
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Nov 16, 2012 01:34
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Alterian posted:Edit edit: All these SA babies due around the same time. Seriously, it's like a little mini goon population boom. My little guy's umbilical stump came off this evening. It seems a little early--eight days--and there was a certain amount of blood. Not overflowing the belly-button area or anything, but it took a while to dry up. Is this still in the department of "normal, don't worry about it?" I'm figuring I'll see how it looks in the morning and call the pediatrician if things look red/oozy/still bleeding? Anything else I should look out for?
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Nov 16, 2012 01:37
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Re NT scan/DS screening 1. We did the first trimester bloodwork + NT scan. My insurance didn't cover the bloodwork but the lab (NTD) only charged us $19 for the first trimester bloods and $40 for the second. 2. I wish I had not done the integrated screening, NT scan and 1st trimester bloodwork came back perfect, but combined with the 2nd trimester portion my doctor made us very concerned. My HCG was high and PAPP-A was low, which can be indicative of DS. My AFP was high, which is not typical of DS but the fact that I had bleeding earlier in the pregnancy could have caused a higher level than I may have had otherwise. So while the risk ratio from the lab came back very low due to the high AFP, our real risk was obscured by the high AFP because there is no way for the lab's algorithm to take first trimester bleeding into account. We declined amnio because we would not terminate for DS and after all the worry we had with my bleeding and being concerned about miscarriage we were not willing to take the risk. Baby is healthy and on target, size wise, doesn't have any soft markers for DS and a fetal echocardiogram came back normal aside from a trivial tricuspid valve leak, so we're keeping our fingers crossed that all is well but we'll love our son no matter what. 3. If I knew then what I know now, I would not have done the integrated screening. It's told us absolutely nothing useful and caused a ton of unnecessary anxiety. Amnio is definitely not for us, I think it would be easier for me to find out about a DS diagnosis with a healthy baby in my arms rather than spending half of my pregnancy worrying about it.
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Nov 16, 2012 01:51
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Hdip posted:Since my baby boy's about to be a month old and I'm ready to research cloth diapers does anyone have a suggestion of where to start? I'm overwhelmed everytime I try to look it up. YouTube. Seriously. Most people swear by prefolds and covers for newborns. I enjoyed fitteds which I'm still using now, but slowly going to pocket diapers and AIOs. YouTube is the best for explanations of terminology and general cloth diaper care. I like this chick's channel:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKtrbXO-lik There are also a lot of cloth diapering groups on Facebook - including swap groups where you can buy cheap second hand and even new diapers.
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Nov 16, 2012 02:53
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Anyone use a fetal Doppler in the first trimester? I have been close to driving myself crazy with "is everything ok" thoughts since I don't really have any pregnancy symptoms at all. Now I'm trying to decide if getting one would help ease my worries or lead me to freak out more if I can't find the hb on my own.
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Nov 16, 2012 20:11
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My doctor's office didn't use the doppler until 12 weeks, and it was harder to find then. I think in the first trimester, you probably wouldn't be able to consistently find it, and it might lead to more stress.
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Nov 16, 2012 20:18
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I used one in the second trimester until I could feel regular kicking. I wouldn't try in the first. It can be hard enough for the OB/midwife to find the heartbeat before 12 weeks.
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Nov 16, 2012 20:18
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I found the heartbeat just before 9 weeks with my doppler. I'm super skinny and my uterus tilts further forward than normal though, so that may have made it easier. The nurse at my OB's office found the heartbeat in like 5 seconds on me at 12 weeks but I know it's not unusual for them to have trouble even at that stage. With all the bleeding I had, the doppler kept me sane. It didn't worry me to not be able to find the heartbeat when it was still early though. I would just try for 2-3 minutes and then wait a couple days and try again. I found it once for like 2 seconds at right around 8 weeks, then not again for a week. Once I got to 9 weeks I was able to find it within 30 seconds or so almost every time I tried. If you are the type that would freak out if you can't find it right when you get the doppler I'd wait for the second tri. Keep in mind that if you are significantly overweight or have a retroverted uterus it may take until 15-16 weeks to be able to find the heart beat easily with a doppler. And no matter what, don't pay any attention to the display (if you get one that has a display). Even now at 16 1/2 weeks mine rarely registers anything close to the right heart rate.
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Nov 17, 2012 02:06
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skeetied posted:I used one in the second trimester until I could feel regular kicking. I wouldn't try in the first. It can be hard enough for the OB/midwife to find the heartbeat before 12 weeks. This. If its hard enough for a sonographer to get a trace on a fetal heartbeat in the first trimester under B-mode guidance (i.e. the moving grayscale image that show you bub floating in the gestational sac), the chances of you being able to do it blind are slim (I assume you want to get one of those sound-only continuous wave Doppler devices which are not depth-adjustable). You won't get a traceable heartbeat until 6 weeks in at the earliest, at which time the gestational sac itself is only about 10mm across. 9 weeks in the embryo is only about 24mm long, so imagine trying to hit a target a fraction of that size, in the dark. You're more likely to end up Doppler-ing your own heartbeat. Edit: I'm highly skeptical of anyone claiming to be able to blind CW Doppler an embryo consistently in the first trimester, no matter how skinny you are. Even at the 12 week mark the fetus is only just over 5 cm long. Also, bub can and will move. That tiny target you're attempting to hit in the dark? It's also mobile. You'll know if you've got a fetal heartbeat if it's measuring 100 beats per minute or higher (we often see higher, like around 120 bpm), your resting heart rate by comparison will be around 60-70 (unless you're horribly unfit I suppose). If the display is returning you a reading of 60 bpm, I'm more likely to believe you're right on a uterine artery, NOT the fetal heart - especially if your 'magic baby heartbeat spot' stays the same every single day. Your uterus isn't exactly paper thin--there's a reasonable amount of anatomy between your skin's surface and the baby early on. If there wasn't, we wouldn't half as powerful ultrasound devices as we do currently, to avoid potentially frying your baby's corneas. nyerf fucked around with this message at 02:42 on Nov 17, 2012 |
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Nov 17, 2012 02:12
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My dr has consistently had difficulty using the Doppler on me because baby moves like crazy. She always finds him but it takes awhile. I knew trying to use one myself would only make me crazy.
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Nov 17, 2012 02:57
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I am now 9 weeks pregnant and I would just like to quickly introduce myself. I am aware this isn’t a livejournal though, so this will probably be the most E/N post I make, and others will be reserved for legitimate questions. I’ve been hesitant to post because I have a mental illness. It’s no secret if you look at my post history. I am considered disabled and I am terrified of my pregnancy being judged because of it. I’ve actually been through two complete pregnancies before, but at the time wasn’t in the position where I could be a viable parent. I have been working on my illness for years, and I think I finally got to a point where I have a very good hold on things with medication, therapy, and AA. Of course I stopped all of my medications once I found out, and that was a very hard thing to do, but I managed and am feeling pretty level now (for the most part). I am also still going to therapy often and have what I consider to be a good support system of family, professionals, and friends. I’ve been lurking for awhile now and wanted to get over my (hopefully) irrational fear of posting. Because the other message boards available for pregnant women are full of people more insane than I am.
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Nov 17, 2012 04:44
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