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DrPepperholik posted:I have gotten stuff like that a lot, I'm not irresponsible, I would rather do anything than have to keep up with how much of whatever I eat. I have never been good at stuff like that, I could never keep track of calories or Weight Watchers Points and I don't have time to eat like 5 times a day. I'm doing good to eat 3 times a day. I honestly don't see how anyone does stuff like that. That is interesting you say that, because I cannot stop eating. I eat at least five, sometimes seven times a day. Maybe it's because I'm having a boy though. Seriously though, you have to do this. If you don't you will regret and have questions about whether you did the best for your child once you see it. You would be shocked at what you can and will be willing to do for your children, as I've learned this week. Eating an extra piece of fruit or some crackers is nothing compared to having to do something serious to make sure they live a good life.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:30
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qentiox posted:Even if you -don't- have GD, is it really going to hurt you to eat like you do just to be on the safe side? (read: No.) I'm not trying to be all high and mighty, but my second baby was born with some really serious heart defects, and I just have such a hard time fathoming how you wouldn't do absolutely everything in your power to make sure that everything possible is done so your baby will be ok. I never meant that my husband would judge me for being a fatty if I have GD. Just when someone said "You don't have to tell anyone." I said I would know and my husband would know. I never said he'd say I'm a fatty. Nor did I say having GD would be the end of the world around Christmas. Just that for most people they might indulge a little around the holidays and eat things they normally don't, I don't eat pie or cookies or anything normally but for the holidays yes I will have a piece of pie but if I have to watch what I eat I won't be able to eat that piece of pie or drink that glass of eggnog. Edit: I never said I wouldn't do what is necessary to ensure the health of my baby and myself, never. If I wouldn't do what is necessary don't you think I wouldn't have quit smoking and drinking caffeine all day long which I mentioned I did several posts back. It's a simple matter of would it suck to do it, hell yes, do I want to do it, gently caress no, who does? Would I do it, yeah, would it be easy for me, no. DrPepperholik fucked around with this message at 05:38 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 05:31
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Hastings posted:That is interesting you say that, because I cannot stop eating. I eat at least five, sometimes seven times a day. Maybe it's because I'm having a boy though. Seriously though, you have to do this. If you don't you will regret and have questions about whether you did the best for your child once you see it. You would be shocked at what you can and will be willing to do for your children, as I've learned this week. Eating an extra piece of fruit or some crackers is nothing compared to having to do something serious to make sure they live a good life. I'm having a boy too, I just don't get hungry that much that I would want to eat 5 times a day or have time to eat more than 3 times in a day. In the beginning I had to eat a snack before bed or I'd wake up feeling like I'm starving so I just sliced and peeled an apple and ate the slices with peanut butter. Interestingly enough if I excluded the peanut butter for some reason I would feel hungry at some point during the night. Now though I'm not that hungry.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:34
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Seriously, at this point whether you get an official diagnosis of GD or not I think it's important to step back and re-evaluate your diet and make some changes. A reading of 180 is high. Even having high-normal readings on average begins to raise the risk of pregnancy and delivery complications. There really isn't a hard line where below it your baby will be 100% fine. You might consider, whether you get an official diagnosis or not, asking if you can see a dietitian who can work with you to find a management plan that can work for you.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:36
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DrPepperholik posted:I just feel like if I don't pass the 3 hour test it'll be horrible, like I'd rather have anything than be a diabetic. Especially because if I do have GD my son will have a higher chance of having diabetes in his life because his idiot mom had GD while pregnant with him, totally not his fault. I'm probably being super overly dramatic but it'll be the end of the world if I have diabetes especially with Christmas right after the test.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:37
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qentiox posted:I don't know man, I'm pretty sure she was the one who said it would be the "end of the world" if she had GD right before Christmas. Oh I know, that's why I recommend therapy. I've probably read entirely too much E/N, but what most people are reading as irresponsible I'm reading as guilt, low self esteem, and over reacting types of issues. I am the queen of whining and bitching about things I have to do, and I get a major impression that that is all that is really happening here. Therapy helps a lot. Of course I could be wrong, I just like to think that most people end up doing the right thing. Look at me having faith in humanity! 
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Dec 6, 2012 05:38
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DrPepperholik posted:I just feel like if I don't pass the 3 hour test it'll be horrible, like I'd rather have anything than be a diabetic. Especially because if I do have GD my son will have a higher chance of having diabetes in his life because his idiot mom had GD while pregnant with him, totally not his fault. I'm probably being super overly dramatic but it'll be the end of the world if I have diabetes especially with Christmas right after the test. What to infer here is: I'm not being serious when I said that.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:39
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Goobish posted:Oh I know, that's why I recommend therapy. I've probably read entirely too much E/N, but what most people are reading as irresponsible I'm reading as guilt, low self esteem, and over reacting types of issues. I am the queen of whining and bitching about things I have to do, and I get a major impression that that is all that is really happening here. Therapy helps a lot. Of course I could be wrong, I just like to think that most people end up doing the right thing. Look at me having faith in humanity! The end of the world thing is what got me. No, it's not the end of the world. My baby being on the verge of Hospice care and having her third open heart surgery (and final option for repair) next week is pretty drat close to the end of the world poo poo. The lack of perspective just astounds me. I guess good for her if Christmas cookies and pie are her greatest concern.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:43
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One sentence that people read out of many gets broken apart and interpreted to mean something completely opposite of what it's intention was. Take the sentence as a whole instead of the part people wanted to see please.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:46
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DrPepperholik posted:I just feel like if I don't pass the 3 hour test it'll be horrible, like I'd rather have anything than be a diabetic. Especially because if I do have GD my son will have a higher chance of having diabetes in his life because his idiot mom had GD while pregnant with him, totally not his fault. I'm probably being super overly dramatic but it'll be the end of the world if I have diabetes especially with Christmas right after the test. Nope. Pretty sure I didn't read it out of context. There are way more Really Bad Things that could happen than having GD, especially if you don't take GD seriously. I'm sorry you're not getting the pity party you wanted about diabetes. Many of us have lived through it and made it just fine.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:50
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qentiox posted:Nope. Pretty sure I didn't read it out of context. That is meant to be overly dramatic. Perhaps in the future I need to spell it out before I say something intended to be overly dramatic. I never asked for nor did I want a pity party, what I got though was made to feel like a horrible person for "ignoring" things and being irresponsible with people jumping to the conclusion that I was diagnosed with GD when I never said such a thing.
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Dec 6, 2012 05:59
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Ok. Well I'm getting a little too angsty about all this. I think you need some perspective. Good luck with the beetus. Hope your kid does well.
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Dec 6, 2012 06:03
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Beichan posted:Seriously, at this point whether you get an official diagnosis of GD or not I think it's important to step back and re-evaluate your diet and make some changes. A reading of 180 is high. Even having high-normal readings on average begins to raise the risk of pregnancy and delivery complications. There really isn't a hard line where below it your baby will be 100% fine. 180 isn't high for after a meal, that was my result after drinking the glucose. Are you saying 180 is a high result period or it's a high number after that drink? 180 an hour after the drink isn't even considered high. If two or more of these values are exceeded in the oral glucose tolerance test (OGTT), the diagnosis is positive. Fasting _> 95 mg/dl, 1 hour _>180 mg/dl, 2 hours _> 155 mg/dl, and 3 hours _> 140 mg/dl. http://www.diabetescare.net/content_detail.asp?id=1310 Just to clarify, I'm just curious what you mean when you say "180 is high" not trying to deny anything or be ignorant just hoping for clarification. DrPepperholik fucked around with this message at 06:13 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 06:04
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This conversation has made me paranoid to eat more than two christmas cookies now damnit goons 
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Dec 6, 2012 06:26
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DrPepperholik posted:I just feel like if I don't pass the 3 hour test it'll be horrible, like I'd rather have anything than be a diabetic. Especially because if I do have GD my son will have a higher chance of having diabetes in his life because his idiot mom had GD while pregnant with him, totally not his fault. I'm probably being super overly dramatic but it'll be the end of the world if I have diabetes especially with Christmas right after the test.  Goondolences.  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Dec 6, 2012 06:27
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nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Mar 21, 2017 |
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Dec 6, 2012 06:27
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Drpepperholick what was your fasting value? You didn't give that one. You were in fact greater than 180 at one hour out, right? The screening glucose amount is like 45g or 50g if I remember right and that's like a sandwich plus an apple. 3 carb servings, just without any other protein or fat at the same time. They are giving you a measured amount of glucose and in someone with no glucose intolerance they would get a result of around 100. If your glucose tolerance is impaired, it will be above 140 at an hour out - and with pregnant women they want that to be 120 or less, a little stricter than normal. A 180 is severely intolerant. [Anecdote: I used to test my husband's blood sugar when he would eat a big piece of cake or ice cream or whatever. He almost always got a 95. Guess what his fasting blood sugar was? Also around 95. It just doesn't seem to budge, ever. His endocrine system works like a champ.] It's great that you are doing a 2nd test but I am confused because you had mentioned you also took a 3-hour test, or was that a different pregnancy? I originally was trying to tell you only that what you ate the night before has no bearing on your results, don't feel like your dinner is a reason to repeat the test. I just thought you shouldn't be so invested in passing the test for the test's sake when a reading that high is pretty much already a yes. It is true that what they are looking for is how quickly that spike can drop. But frankly, my endo would have declared it positive at a reading of 180. That's just too high even if it's just a spike. What if you ate every couple of hours, even just simple things like small amounts of crackers and juice, but did them all day? Your sugar would be in that range all the time. Pregnancy hormones counteract your body's endocrine response. Most of the time the treatment for GD is simple meal planning, timing how and when you eat. It's not hard but it is more than avoiding pie & cake, it's about getting the right sorts of food in at the right times. Totally doable. I do understand being upset at your results, but it's so incredibly common. Several people posting here have gone through it. The lady on the next block from me is a teeny tiny woman and has it this time around. It's not a moral judgment and you didn't do anything wrong. (For the record, the thinking on type 2 diabetes these days is that you don't eat your way into it either, you have to have that genetic predisposition first but that putting on weight can be a symptom of your growing insulin resistance. That's not relevant here. Also that's only one type of T2Diabetes, there are skinny T2's as well.) Edit: about the apple + peanut butter - yes, there is a reason you would get hungry if you have the apple by itself. Adding PB gives you fat and protein which are slower to break down than carbohydrates. It's actually something they tell you to do in the GD diet, don't ever have carbs by themselves, add some cheese or PB to that apple every time. Slower to break down, less of a spike in your bloodsugar. hepscat fucked around with this message at 06:35 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 06:33
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http://www.babycenter.com/0_glucose-screening-and-glucose-tolerance-tests_1483.bc?page=2quote:What is an abnormal blood glucose level? 180 is a high reading in general. If your blood sugar consistently spikes up that high - like after meals regularly - it increases health risks for your baby and risks of complications. It will be up to your 3-hour test whether you get an official diagnosis of gestational diabetes but not having gestational diabetes does not mean your blood sugar levels are not worth trying to control. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/glucose-tolerance-test/MY00145/DSECTION=results quote:Type 2 diabetes As I mentioned before, even consistent high-normal readings can be dangerous. http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20080507/pregnancy-high-normal-blood-sugar-risky quote:Babies born to women with even slightly higher-than-normal blood sugar levels are at increased risk for a range of pregnancy and delivery-related complications, findings from an international study confirm. Controlling your carbohydrate intake does not, also, mean you can never have small treats. It's a matter of controlling portions, pacing and overall intake. I think it would be very valuable to talk to a dietitian - or the best equivalent your doctor can refer you to.
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Dec 6, 2012 06:34
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qentiox posted:Ok. Well I'm getting a little too angsty about all this. I think you need some perspective. Good luck with the beetus. Hope your kid does well. I hope things with your daughter go well. I remember reading about her in this thread before.
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Dec 6, 2012 08:27
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I'm going in for the 3 hour glucose test tomorrow so I get the concern, but I think you're worried about the wrong things. All my urine tests have been normal so far, but I *am* obese and there is a history of diabetes in my family, and I accept that it's something I may have to deal with. Diet helps A LOT, and while you may feel a kick in the ol' self esteem, no one else gives a poo poo if you have gestational diabetes, because it happens to a lot of women regardless of weight, and no one is special. So, take the test and deal with the results accordingly. I wish you and your baby the best of health! A question for people that have been pregnant more than me: I've been feeling a bit of stretchy, stabby pain in my lower abdomen sometimes, on the sides usually, and it goes away if I either stand up or put my feet up. Is this just growing pains again? I feel like I had it before, a few weeks ago.. I'm not sure what normal aches and pains are.
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Dec 6, 2012 13:06
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Sounds like round ligament pains--annoying and painful, but normal! Edit: good attitude, Shrew.  The GD diet isn't horrible, and that's from someone who never dieted at all before. It was mainly eating the appropriate combination of carbs and proteins at the right meal. I still got cakes and cookies on Christmas, and I could have sweet snacks if I stuck to my carb number. If you find the amount the dietician recommends isn't working out for you, you're not completely stuck--you can talk to your doctor. I was getting really low blood sugar and getting dizzy and my doctor had me add extra carbs and test at 1 hour instead of 2 hours. They do pay attention if your blood sugars go too low.
Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 13:34
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Dandy Shrew posted:
Sounds like totally normal pain from ligaments stretching. And yeesh, folks, it seems pretty damned normal to be stressed and unhappy about a potential GD diagnosis.
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Dec 6, 2012 13:35
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Are glucose tests a standard part of pregnancy in the US? They test our urine over here for abnormalities but nothing apart from that unless something dodgy shows up (which I've never had). And I'm pretty sure Drpepper was just using hyperbole, not actually saying her world will end if she has to change her diet, or that she wouldn't go along with it.
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Dec 6, 2012 13:48
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I think it's more insisting that GD means people (including her husband?) will think she's fat and judge her, saying it would be the worst thing possible, and not understanding that a meal eaten 12 hours prior to the test doesn't make a difference. I griped and moaned about my GD and didn't get this kind of response at all, probably because I didn't ignore people's informative and reassuring replies. edit: Yeah, hookerbot, if you go to an OB you always get tested here, just in case.
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Dec 6, 2012 13:54
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Are glucose tests a standard part of pregnancy in the US? They test our urine over here for abnormalities but nothing apart from that unless something dodgy shows up (which I've never had). I'm in Ireland and the midwife who scheduled me said they do them between 24 and 28 weeks, or sooner if they have reason to. My sister lives in the states and I don't think she was tested for GD at all aside from the standard urine strips. Maybe it varies by hospital?
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Dec 6, 2012 14:14
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Ben Davis posted:I'm so glad your partner's back home and you get to be with your baby again! Sorry, it was just a one off for the night thing. And like I said, I was the one that stayed up for the 11.30pm and 2.30pm feeds, but she didn't sleep just out of worry anyway, so it didn't work out well and they probably won't let us do it again for a while. In fact I was pissed off she annouced that's she's taken something to help here sleep, "goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow", with no discussion or letting me know earlier so we could plan something. Silly me assumed we would be working together. And after all that she couldn't sleep anyway, but still did nothing to help? So, um, it was bad. Tomorrow I have to go sleep at the hospital and stay there the whole weekend. Would be OK except it's a secure unit you have to beg to get the doors unlocked, and apparently I'm there to be judged and hen pecked. I'm not allowed to stay in the room during the days, I have to be out in the open area so I can be assessed as a parent, put up with no or crappy entertainment, the crying babies of other parents, and a bunch of obnoxious parents that I hate talking too that probably will use the sole TV for chick flicks or god drat cricket or some poo poo. This is necessary apparently because they think I'm a poo poo parent due to my reluctance to hang around there most days in such a depressive environment. I normally drop in at 4pm to help, take crap from the staff, feel like I'm on home detention like criminals are (well, worse, since I'm constantly monitored and judged), but normally for the 3 hrs I'm there I help with a feed, then look after Ben while my partner has her dinner, then shower, then any laundry, dishes etc, then settle him down, help with a bath. Then I go home for my own dinner and freedom for the night*. But apparently I should be doing more in their eyes. I don't know how, I've stopped work due to the stress, that is true, but they run classes for the 'inmates' from 9-1 (meditation, workshops, psychologists meeting etc), and it was my own partner that said to come at 4pm rather than 1pm (originally I was going at 1pm). Am I bad because I would like to eat something at 7pm, or don't like the ambient of the place to come back after dinner? Anyway, wish me loving luck, I don't think it will go well. I'm going to be bored shitless with no music, reading a book will be impossible with the noise, I'll try to sneak a laptop in as I have a USB 3G modem. But they're going to give me poo poo if I try to get a moments feeling of peace by using a laptop, or having headphones on, or trying to find somewhere out of the way to read a book I guess. *edit: It's not like I leave my partner with a crying baby all night, they normally give her anti anxiety tablets or something else to help her sleep at 8pm anyway, and Ben is put in the nursery, but they do wake her up at 3-5AM. Fo3 fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 15:15
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You all are finished discussing Dr. Pepper's potential GD.
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Dec 6, 2012 15:39
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All this food talk makes me kind of afraid I've been eating pretty lovely..I've had horrible nausea for the last 6 weeks. My Dr. as been asking about my diet occasionally, but hasn't said much. Just given some suggestions. I've just been eating what I can. I figure that is okay this early in the game? almost 12 weeks. I always get some sort of protein during dinner time though. And I try to eat some veggies too. The rest of the day I just struggle to figure out something that sounds remotely appetizing. Forcing myself to take prenatals every day even though I almost vomit each time. I figure that is the most important thing. 12 week appointment tomorrow. I'm pretty terrified. I just want everything to be okay. 
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Dec 6, 2012 15:50
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Just getting a chance to reply. hepscat, they didn't do a fasting test just the 1 hour one after the drink. To clarify a few things, my husband does not judge me or think I'm fat and will not think I'm fat if I have GD. I have never been pregnant before, this is my first and I have had to do the sugar test at 10 weeks pregnant because the doctor's office I'm at requires it for everyone over a certain weight, that's what I was told. The person who told me that as well as a ton of information all at once at my 8 week appointment did not make me feel comfortable about the sugar tests maybe that's why I find it so horrible is this is my first time doing this, I don't know anyone personally who has had GD or has been through as much testing as I have, ie: 2 of the 3 hour tests. The nurse who made me feel horrible about it said "You want to pass the 1 hour one we do here, you do not want to have to take the 3 hour one, it's awful." As if I could do something about it? What am I supposed to do to make sure I pass the 1 hour test, it's not like I can study for it. After her telling me all that I felt like it would be my fault if my sugar levels are ever high because I got the impression I could have done something about it, ie: loosing weight before getting pregnant. This same nurse (I'll call her Red here as I forgot her name and she has fake Red hair) was in the lab area yesterday while this other lab tech/nurse was doing my test and Red was getting some paper off the printer beside where lab tech/nurse was waiting on the machine to spit out my results. Red saw the number and had this look of disgust on her face and was shaking her head after telling lab tech/nurse "That's not good, who's is that" then lab tech/nurse pointed at me, who was the only patient in the lab area at the time. Red walked off shaking her head. For the first round of glucose testing (1 hour at doc's office and the 3 hour at the lab) I had a 140 at the doctor's office, they want 139 or less. Went for the 3 hour one, their policy is 2 or more high numbers is a diagnosis of GD. Fasting was fine, 1 hour was 179 or something, 2 hour was normal and the final hour was normal. This time, yesterday, was a 1 hour test at the doctor's office with no fasting draw only the one draw an hour after the drink. Yes, I have mentioned that my dad has type 2 diabetes but that doesn't make me an expert on the dietary needs of a diabetic be it a type 1, 2 or gestational. He's not the poster child for diabetes. He's also very reserved and doesn't express his feelings very well if at all. Lullabee, I know how that feels, my dad routinely called me fat all my life to do as he says "keep me from ending up in his situation" without understanding that you can't just say "You're fat" or "You don't need a piece of cake" or "Don't get a second serving of X food" all the while eating a piece of cake and getting a second helping of each food. I never felt like I got reassuring replies to a genuine concern instead I felt like I was being attacked for being ignorant of the risks and selfish as if I'm doomed to be a bad parent because I don't think about my unborn child instead of getting my next sugar fix. I was hoping to get reassurance and some comfort as I have said I don't know anyone personally (real world friends, family etc) who has been in my shoes to ask any questions I may have and voice any concerns. Edit: Real cute...change the "Newbie" to be something I said that wasn't meant to be serious but was taken as being something serious that'll make me feel even more reassured and welcome.  (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) DrPepperholik fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 17:03
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Greycious posted:All this food talk makes me kind of afraid I've been eating pretty lovely..I've had horrible nausea for the last 6 weeks. My Dr. as been asking about my diet occasionally, but hasn't said much. Just given some suggestions. I've just been eating what I can. I figure that is okay this early in the game? almost 12 weeks. I wouldn't sweat it too much, if youve been sick then I would just focus on eating whatever is appetizing that you can keep down. As long as you're trying to get some fruit and veg into the mix when you can, you're fine. Hell I've been eating terribly a lot of the time, I'll admit it (not that I recommend doing that) and have gained a minimal amount of weight and don't have GD. I think those kinds of things are more related to how your body responds to pregnancy than what you eat. Until/unless you get past the sickness just do your best to eat, period
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Dec 6, 2012 17:25
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Graylicious, seconding Schweig here. It's rough to have nausea that bad Good on you for getting those prenatals down. Have you tried the gummy ones? They don't have calcium or iron, but not everyone needs extra iron, and tums are cheap calcium.
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Dec 6, 2012 17:37
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Fo3 posted:Sorry, it was just a one off for the night thing. And like I said, I was the one that stayed up for the 11.30pm and 2.30pm feeds, but she didn't sleep just out of worry anyway, so it didn't work out well and they probably won't let us do it again for a while. In fact I was pissed off she annouced that's she's taken something to help here sleep, "goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow", with no discussion or letting me know earlier so we could plan something. Silly me assumed we would be working together. And after all that she couldn't sleep anyway, but still did nothing to help? Honestly, that sounds like a really good resource for someone who is mentally ill and a new parent. Of course I don't know your wife's issues but I assume they are at least moderate if she is in an inpatient hospital. I've never even heard of an inpatient mental hospital for new moms, so maybe just try to be grateful that something like that even exists. Also, it's probably a drat good thing she didn't handle the baby when she took something to sleep but didn't sleep. She could have dropped the baby or not even be able to focus enough to really do anything. Picking up the slack is just something that happens, it doesn't have to be a source of resentment or frustration at your partner. I don't pretend to know what is really going on, but you're going to have to try and be patient if she's having this much trouble with her illness. And boredom should probably be the least of your worries. Are you guys able to do any of the classes together? I bet they could be really beneficial to the both of you.
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Dec 6, 2012 17:42
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Goobish posted:Honestly, that sounds like a really good resource for someone who is mentally ill and a new parent. Of course I don't know your wife's issues but I assume they are at least moderate if she is in an inpatient hospital. I've never even heard of an inpatient mental hospital for new moms, so maybe just try to be grateful that something like that even exists. Also, it's probably a drat good thing she didn't handle the baby when she took something to sleep but didn't sleep. She could have dropped the baby or not even be able to focus enough to really do anything. Picking up the slack is just something that happens, it doesn't have to be a source of resentment or frustration at your partner. I don't pretend to know what is really going on, but you're going to have to try and be patient if she's having this much trouble with her illness. And boredom should probably be the least of your worries. Are you guys able to do any of the classes together? I bet they could be really beneficial to the both of you. Yeah, it's an inpatient mental hospital for mothers really, (edit: called the Mothers and Baby Unit or MBU. One of the staff there said they used to just have 3 beds of a ward at a general mental hospital, but now they have their own 8 bed building attached to a maternity hospital). Kind of new, one small building: 8 beds for the whole state. Picking up the slack is something I'm happy to do, it did it that night, and also when I had to call the ambulance for her and had Ben by myself for the night and the next day. Then they called my to give him up to their care. But now they are evaluating me by their methods. Really I feel like a 3rd wheel, I could take more control, but then I'm undermining my partner, or she's ignoring me to defer control to the hospital staff over me. It feels like that, so not much I can do, damned if I do, damned if I don't I guess, and if I do speak up or take the reigns, I feel it would annoy my partner more and not help her situation, as it's not like we agree on everything. I think I said way earlier in the thread, anything I say will be wrong, even if it's exactly what a midwife/nurse says later, and a lot of what they do vary in between individual midwives/nurses, or are wishy washy somewhere in the middle responses that don't really come with any authority. So rather than jump in and take the reigns, I quietly let my partner do things her way and try not to interfere and she would take public advice from me possibly badly, like I'm trying to be a "know it all" and no better than her, or think I'm embarrassing her. That's just how I feel she'd react based on previous experience anyway, and especially now in her state and the fact that she worked in childcare.* Anyway, if it doesn't work out for her doing things her way, it's not like I'd even get a chance unless I called her out, she will run off and ask them before giving me a chance for help. So I'm useless apparently, but I still go there to try my best, mainly as I said, so at least she can have dinner, shower and other stuff in peace, but even when I'm there, I'm still treated this way, but I do what I can to help I guess. To the other question, no, no classes for me, as I said the opposite, just more pressure put on me to be supportive and point out any faults I might have. * Edit: The psychologist told others today in a meeting I was in with social workers, nurses, midwives, other hospital dept reps etc that I " think that looking after a baby is the mothers job", just because a week ago when asked a week ago in a meeting with that psychologist "Are you suprised X is having problems?" I answered "Yes, because of her work experience". Not because she's the mother, but because that was her job I would follow her lead. I'm a tradie and I would follow the senior guys advice because they were doing it for longer, not that I wouldn't do nothing! That type of poo poo is what is pissing me off. What I was trying to say was to give my partner a good word saying she was experienced and even if it's our first child, she will know what to do in most situations if we ever get out of that place and she gets the support she needs. Fo3 fucked around with this message at 18:43 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 18:14
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Ben Davis posted:Graylicious, seconding Schweig here. It's rough to have nausea that bad Yeah I have flintstones and gummies. I got to the point where I couldn't do the flintstones anymore and I've been taking the gummies, the flavor makes me gag still. I don't know why, they aren't that horrible. I did manage to eat a couple apples this past week, but then I threw up one, and it was absolutely horrible so now I am kind of afraid to eat them. They upset my stomach a bit too, I think the peel is kind of harsh. I love fruits and veggies, and really wish I was feeling better so I could enjoy them more. Some day, soon hopefully!
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Dec 6, 2012 18:34
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Fo3, I think you should read over what you've written here. Do you sound like this when you talk to your girlfriend? I'd honestly feel like crap and avoid you too if I had a whiff that you felt like this. You don't sound worried or concerned about her at all, just irritated that you'll be bored taking care of your baby for 2 days. You were really mad that your mentally ill girlfriend didn't communicate well on her one day home. You only visit her and your child for 3 hours out of the day, despite not working, because you want to eat dinner at home? I'll be honest, my husband and I talked about the possibility of PPD during the pregnancy and reviewed the symptoms so he'd know what to watch out for. I'm lucky that it didn't happen to me, but if it had, he would've been right there as much as possible and happy to support me. You sound more like you're angry with her and resentful. Maybe that's not the case--I don't know you in real life! But if she's getting the same vibes I am, accurate or inaccurate, that's going to affect your relationship and your life with each other. I'm not sure how important that is to you because I don't know your history and what sort of relationship you have--long-term or casual. Does any of that seem like it might be accurate? Edit: awww, Graycious, that really stinks I hope it goes away soon.
Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 18:35
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Ben Davis posted:Fo3, I think you should read over what you've written here. Do you sound like this when you talk to your girlfriend? I'd honestly feel like crap and avoid you too if I had a whiff that you felt like this. I didn't mean it like that, for example I said I had to give Ben up, not that I couldn't wait to drop him off. I guess yes, this is all inside me, and like I'm saying I keep it to myself, so I vent here. Also something I didn't say is all I here from my partner when I'm there is her complaining about the staff and being locked in, so some of that may be projected and just extra frustration as all I get there is just complaints from her about the place. I don't know... I'm in pieces myself, and all I want is some normality to return. Happy to look after him at home, unhappy to be on lockdown and be tested for a parenting licence I guess. Who would feel different? Fo3 fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 18:51
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So it's been a couple weeks (and several pages) since I posted about my wife's placenta previa issue. Background is that we went to the hospital on 11/18 due to some bleeding she had the night before. They kept her overnight until the next evening to keep an eye on any potential additional bleeding. There was none, she was placed on modified bed rest (can get up to shower, bio, make food, but that's it). We have had multiple doctor's appointments and ultrasounds since then with no improvement. Our doctor referred us to the closest specialized hospital with a NICU (Women and Infants in Providence, FI, which is about the same distance, timewise, from the house as the regular hospital we use). Yesterday we had our consult there, and the finding was that the placenta is completely covering the cervix, and as a result has little chance at moving off of it by the time it needs to (which was supposed to be anywhere from a 60 to 90% chance that it would move, based on doctor's info and internet research). As a result, because she has had one bleed already, they are going to recommend a c-section birth at 36 weeks. However, if she were to have another bleed, chances are likely that they would require her to be in the hospital for the remaining duration of the pregnancy. And if a bleed were to not stop, they would need to do an emergency delivery, regardless of when it is, since they have no way to stop it. As of now, she has not had *any* bleeding since 11/18, so we are just hopeful that things stay this way for the remainder and we only have to look at 36 weeks rather than any potential early delivery. The doctor we spoke with yesterday was fairly confident in the sense that we will *probably* be transferred to Women and Infants, just for safety's sake. However, the local hospital is perfectly capable of doing a C section, she felt that our regular doctor would probably be more comfortable with that move instead. This week, she is 25 weeks along, so we are basically at T minus 11 weeks and counting.
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Dec 6, 2012 19:36
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I feel for you and your wife. My best friend had placenta previa, so did the whole modified best rest thing. Her caesarean was uneventful, has a healthy baby girl, but she was going insane with boredom during the pregnancy. On the bright side, I guess your wife can catch up on her reading and cable tv shows. If she knits or does anything along those lines, that might help with some of the antsiness.
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Dec 6, 2012 19:47
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Greycious posted:The rest of the day I just struggle to figure out something that sounds remotely appetizing. This was me through both pregnancies. With my daughter at one point I only ever wanted fruit and nothing else sounded good With my son I think I hate pork medallions and asparagus 3 times a week cause it was all I'd want for dinner. And the worst part was that early on I wanted to eat everything and then towards the end I wanted nothing (likely due to my stomach being in my throat). I ate a lot of cheese and peanut butter crackers  Probably another reason why prenatals are so important, hah.
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Dec 6, 2012 19:59
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Fo3 posted:I'm in pieces myself, and all I want is some normality to return. Happy to look after him at home, unhappy to be on lockdown and be tested for a parenting licence I guess. Who would feel different? I hope you're getting yourself some therapy as well, having all this to deal with on top of a new child is pretty overwhelming. Right now it sounds like the best course of action is to suck it up and bite your tongue. The workers are there to help your partner, so they're not exactly going to be your advocates. When your partner improves and returns home then it will be a lot easier to get into a routine and find your place. But right now your wife is figuring out how to be a mom with a whole bunch of people telling her what to do.
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Dec 6, 2012 22:32
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