|
Whelp, never thought I'd find myself posting in this thread. I got off of work last night at about 7:40, my wife was especially antsy about me getting off work for some reason. Once I was done, I went to go sit next to her on the couch. With a slight quiver in her voice she said "I have an early Christmas present for you." (I'm sure since I'm posting in this thread you can see where I'm going with this). I asked if she was sure she didn't want to wait until Christmas...she always wants to wait until Christmas; she loves keeping me in suspense because it drives me crazy. She brought a small rectangular present over to me and handed it to me. I had no idea what was going on, but tears were streaming down her face. Uh oh. I began unwrapping the gift, it was about the size of a DVD so I was kind of expecting a movie or something that she was unable to wait to watch, it didn't explain the tears, though. I tore off the paper to reveal this gift is a book. My face went white; I could not make sense of the title of this book, my brain simply refused to parse it. "Dude, you're going to be a DAD" is the title. I think my brain has still yet to parse it. Right now I am fluctuating between white knuckle terror and some other emotion I do not recognize. We've been together for about ten years and married for four years. We're both well off and have incredibly supportive families (who we won't be telling about this for another few months). We gave up on having a kid shortly after we were married. We tried for about two years, then just gave up assuming one of us was broken. We spent the last two years coming to terms with the idea we would never be parents and had recently started looking into adopting. I'm 28, she's 27, I'm well off enough in my career that I'm not worried about the extra burden of a new mouth to feed. I am however abso-loving-lutely terrified of being responsible for another human life. I just, uh, needed to type this out. Try to clear my head and gather my thoughts. Congratulations to me, I guess? Holy. poo poo. e: How long before the terror passes? Winkle-Daddy fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Dec 13, 2012 |
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 18:09
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 19:51 |
|
|
CravingSolace posted:
You can do this, it freaking sucks, but you can do it. Even if you're going to be away from his normal duty station, look into his unit's FRG (Family Readiness Group) or something similar. Usually it's run by the wife of someone higher up in the command, but they'll send out emails on what's going on, hold holiday parties, stuff like that. They usually have 'connections' that can get info passed along faster than normal if you need help with something, or need to get info to your husband. Even if you don't see them in person, it's usually a lot of women who are going through exactly what you are going through and can help you out and talk to you. You should have plenty of opportunities to Skype and talk to your husband as well.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 19:03
|
|
|
quote:e: How long before the terror passes? After 11 weeks (big expert here, obviously) it still flares up occasionally, and I don't really expect it to go away until I've successfully kept the baby alive outside of me for a while. Our pregnancy was also very much planned and wished for, but I still spent the first couple of weeks regularly panicking about what the hell we'd gotten ourselves into, and based on what I've heard from other people, it's completely normal. It's a really, really big thing, after all. Congratulations, by the way!
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 19:23
|
|
|
Winkle-Daddy posted:
My baby will be here in less than 10 weeks. The baby was planned, but I still feel a combination of excitement and terror. I know my life is going to change in ways I can't even fathom.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 19:42
|
|
|
I'm glad the terror is not unique. I'm still in shock, so I imagine things will get even more interesting once it's time to start telling the family. Thanks for everyone's kind words and assuring me that I'm having a perfectly normal reaction.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 19:55
|
|
|
Congratulations, Winkle-Daddy! 
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 20:21
|
|
|
I'm still terrified from my eldest, and she's 15! Seriously though, after the middle of the second trimester or so you should start feeling better. Actually seeing the bump growing seemed to help my husband a great deal. He said it made it feel more "real" to him and that gave him confidence.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 20:37
|
|
|
Winkle-Daddy posted:I am however abso-loving-lutely terrified of being responsible for another human life. I just, uh, needed to type this out. Try to clear my head and gather my thoughts. Congratulations to me, I guess? The fact you're concerned about your abilities is the first step towards being a great dad.  It means you're aware of your choices. Things will get easier once see you see the ultrasound, it makes it more real and you'll feel a bit more capable knowing what you're dealing with.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 20:58
|
|
|
nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Mar 21, 2017 |
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 21:05
|
|
|
Thank you everyone!! A good friend of mine that I've known for like a decade came to visit me at work today. We went across the street to a bar for a double of Johnny Walker Black and I'm starting to catch my breath and not trembling so much. I really really wanted to be a dad for a long time. I'm hoping I didn't talk myself out of it too much and I can recapture my previous enthusiasm. I'm sure I'll end up being a regular poster in here for the next 9 months. I am looking forward to sharing my fears, joys and pictures with my online friends!
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 21:28
|
|
|
My husband and I finally told the rest of our family. It was pretty awesome how happy and excited everyone was, it sure was uplifting. Still pretty sick though, today a little worse than the last couple days, I was eating decently for a few days there! Congrats Winkle-Daddy
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 21:51
|
|
|
Anyone else have weird blood pressure? Mine was normal, then up when my brother in law was being lovely and living with us (made an e/n about that ordeal), then went down again, but was up a bit when I went for my GTT last week so the OB told me to go back to my GP this week and next just to keep an eye on it but it was down again when I had it checked today. Maybe the OB clinic just freaks me out? I have issues with large crowds in small spaces and the clinic is always packed, but I'm kind of worried that it's all over the place. Otherwise, no protein in my urine and it generally is.. eh, a bit high but not enough that they're worried.. usually around 125/75 or 130/75, but was 145/79 at the clinic last week.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 22:17
|
|
|
Dandy, I have problems like that with mine, it's SO STUPID and I hate it! I get worried that my BP is going to be high, which makes my BP high. As soon as I see that BP cuff come out, my heart starts racing. And now that I'm pregnant it's 10x worse, haha. I had consistent normal readings for years and the rest of my health is fine so it hasn't been a problem, and SOMETIMES when they take it again at the end of the visit I've chilled out enough that it's normal. It starts as soon as I walk into the doctor's office now. It's like the last vestige of panic disorder I have to deal with. I can get my BP and heart rate up to ridiculous levels, haha! I don't have any advice but just wanted to empathize. I bet it's just stress in your case!
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 23:09
|
|
|
Greycious posted:My husband and I finally told the rest of our family. It was pretty awesome how happy and excited everyone was, it sure was uplifting. Still pretty sick though, today a little worse than the last couple days, I was eating decently for a few days there! Yay! It's always such a relief to have it out there. Right now the only people who know I'm pregnant are my husband and all you goons. I'm gonna reveal it at Christmas, give the mothers a dual picture frame (if I can freaking find one) that says "My Grandchildren" and the second pic is going to be the ultrasound. Sadly, I won't have better pictures or know the gender till January 2nd, but hey Christmas is too good of an opportunity to pass up.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 23:39
|
|
|
Dandy Shrew posted:Anyone else have weird blood pressure? Mine was normal, then up when my brother in law was being lovely and living with us (made an e/n about that ordeal), then went down again, but was up a bit when I went for my GTT last week so the OB told me to go back to my GP this week and next just to keep an eye on it but it was down again when I had it checked today. When I went to mine, depending on which office in the clinic my appointment was in, my blood pressure would be totally different. In the downstairs office it would be 135/80 and the upstairs one 95/65 
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2012 23:48
|
|
|
My BP skyrockets when I'm at the doctor's too. It's better when I'm at my midwife's though. I think it's because I have a slight fear of going to the doc's in the first place, so my BP is always high when she measures it. The last time she just said "I give up" and put the cuff away. My urine and blood samples are all fine, though, and the baby looks to be in great shape when she ultrasounds it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 00:05
|
|
|
Make sure they are using the correct size cuff (they don't always do this) and ask them if they could check it at the end of the appointment. It's not unusual for it to be a bit high at the doctor's office at first (white coat syndrome) but that effect usually goes away by 5-10 minutes in, so they may get better readings if they take it at the end of the appointment when you've been distracted about other stuff for a few minutes. I used to always get slightly high readings at the student health center at my previous school. Turned out it was because they pulled you back and took BP so quickly that it was still slightly elevated from me walking there and climbing the stairs to the third floor to get to the office. So it doesn't take much to elevate it just enough to raise red flags. Once I had them do it after I'd had a minute to rest everything would be fine.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 00:21
|
|
|
I found out today that we're having a little girl! My husband and I are really excited. I met a new doctor today and she's really nice, but she has me freaked out. She noticed that I have lupus and sjogren's and said she wanted to repeat some labs and have another ultrasound next month for more views. She asked a bunch of questions about the sjogren's and said that she wanted to monitor some things closely later on, but didn't elaborate and said everything looked okay and to not worry. So, of course I go home and google sjogren's and pregnancy and learned all sorts of terrifying things. So, now I'm freaked out. Note to self, don't google stuff! Does anyone else have sjogren's?
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 02:50
|
|
|
Lyz posted:Yay! It's always such a relief to have it out there. Right now the only people who know I'm pregnant are my husband and all you goons. That's awesome I wanted to do something cute with the ultrasound picture but I've just been so sick. I just got impatient waiting, and my in-laws are visiting in a week and I wanted them to be prepared for how crappy I'm feeling.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 04:52
|
|
|
Winkle-Daddy posted:Whelp, never thought I'd find myself posting in this thread. I got off of work last night at about 7:40, my wife was especially antsy about me getting off work for some reason. Once I was done, I went to go sit next to her on the couch. With a slight quiver in her voice she said "I have an early Christmas present for you." (I'm sure since I'm posting in this thread you can see where I'm going with this). I asked if she was sure she didn't want to wait until Christmas...she always wants to wait until Christmas; she loves keeping me in suspense because it drives me crazy. I can't speak for anyone else, but the terror comes and goes for me, usually around the time an appoint,ent comes. I go to every appointment with my wife, and every time they get the Doppler out, I have a crippling fear that we won't hear the heartbeat (this is better now that we can feel the baby, but there is still fear of it being too fast/slow). I have a similar situation to you where I am in a fairly good position financially, so I am ok with that aspect, but the idea of being a father is terrifying. The only thing I can say is that at 30 weeks, that hasn't changed too much...it's just getting more and more real to me. I think if I was having a boy I'd be a little more prepared, but the idea of having a girl is hard because I worry about all of the girls things that I have no knowledge of. I have a feeling I'll pick it up in time though...
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 05:15
|
|
|
Acrolos posted:I think if I was having a boy I'd be a little more prepared, but the idea of having a girl is hard because I worry about all of the girls things that I have no knowledge of. I have a feeling I'll pick it up in time though... Babies are babies. Gender is really completely unimportant in a little baby aside for the logistics of diaper changes, and as your baby grows up you will get to know them every day. Whoever they are and whatever their interests are, you're going to be right beside them as they grow into them and out of them, not jumping in blind and unable to relate. As far as 'girl things', having a girl doesn't mean she's going to be the stereotypical little girl. Same for a boy. They're going to be exactly themselves, and their gender is not going to matter unless you let it. I was afraid of having a boy because I didn't know how I would relate, and then I had him and realized it was completely irrelevant.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 06:06
|
|
|
CravingSolace posted:... Mr. Ghost is also getting ready to deploy in the spring. Party time over here too.  Have you looked into the United Through Reading program? I've heard nothing but praises for the program. We have some recordable story books. We've been using those as bedtime stories. It seems to help some. Her "daddy quota" has nosedived since training has ramped up but that could just be a phase that just so happens to coincide. I'm at least telling myself it's just one big coincidence. I'm on the fence about getting a Daddy Doll. Depending on how long it lasts, it may be something to look into. Be sure to let your Ombudsman know that you aren't going to be local. A lot of stuff can only be discussed in person/over the phone, so a lot of times the email summary of meetings are pretty sparse. Amykinz posted:You can do this, it freaking sucks, but you can do it. Even if you're going to be away from his normal duty station, look into his unit's FRG (Family Readiness Group) or something similar. Usually it's run by the wife of someone higher up in the command, but they'll send out emails on what's going on, hold holiday parties, stuff like that. They usually have 'connections' that can get info passed along faster than normal if you need help with something, or need to get info to your husband. Even if you don't see them in person, it's usually a lot of women who are going through exactly what you are going through and can help you out and talk to you. You should have plenty of opportunities to Skype and talk to your husband as well. Skype depends on so many variables. I had one Skype session last deployment. I know other wives that had them several times a week, the same goes for emails and phone calls. All depends on what they do and where they're at.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 06:14
|
|
|
Lyz posted:I'm gonna reveal it at Christmas My little sister wished for a niece or nephew for Christmas in her speech at our wedding (as a joke, since as "everyone" knows, the first baby after a Catholic wedding is always born three months early), so she's getting a picture of the first ultrasound. My parents know already, and my mother has taken it upon herself to make up all sorts of subterfuge so my sister won't get suspicious
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 10:07
|
|
|
We didn't do anything special to reveal the pregnancy, I wanted to give my husband a great Father's Day surprise since I found out right before the day, but I was too hormonal and scared to keep it together and just blurted it out when he got home that night right after I burst into tears. We called our families that night and told them. I wouldn't have kept a miscarriage a secret from my parents so it was harmless telling them. Also my mother was coming to visit shortly after we found out and would have been able to tell anyway, since I was generally a mess. When I started bleeding I was happy I had told them because I had a lot of emotional support.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 14:11
|
|
|
I had my 25 week ultrasound today and they told me I have a low lying placenta. Apparently they saw it on the 20 week scan too but didn't mention it. They scheduled another ultrasound for 34 weeks. As I understand, in most cases a low placenta in the second trimester will move up, but of course that doesn't stop me from being a bit worried, even though it's premature to worry at this point. Has anyone else had the same issue?
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 15:34
|
|
|
An Cat Dubh posted:I had my 25 week ultrasound today and they told me I have a low lying placenta. Apparently they saw it on the 20 week scan too but didn't mention it. They scheduled another ultrasound for 34 weeks. As I understand, in most cases a low placenta in the second trimester will move up, but of course that doesn't stop me from being a bit worried, even though it's premature to worry at this point. Has anyone else had the same issue? Look back in the last few pages. I've posted some information about my wife and my experience with Placenta Previa so far. As of now, she is 26 weeks, 4 days. As with you, they didn't mention it during the gender ultrasound, but mentioned it after noticing some blood one morning and getting an ultrasound to make sure things were OK at around 22 weeks.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 16:47
|
|
|
For the first pregnancy, we told everyone at about three months, since we wanted to make sure it was sticking. For the second one, though, we told everyone at two months (which was last week). So here we go again!
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 16:55
|
|
|
We revealed our pregnancy at ten weeks at my Grandma's 86 birthday party. We gave her our first ultrasound picture in a memory box, and she cried. She was so glad to live long enough to see her first great grandchild. Old people are the best.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 20:14
|
|
|
So my little man made his way into world last Thursday. Archer Logan was born after my water breaking in bed at 3am & being pushed out a mere 8 hours later. I transitioned so quickly from the initial stages to full dilation I didn't even have a chance to ask for the epidural.  But somehow we made it through, and after a little over an hour of pushing my 7lb 5oz, 20 inch baby was born. So far things at home are going okay. Being the sole source of nutrition gets really tiring, but with my husband's support we're making it through. I knew he would be an amazing father, but seeing him with Archer just makes my heart want to burst. Stuffed with milk & chilling like a boss.  Late night family feedings. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2012 21:22
|
|
|
:3 Congratulations, GoreJess! He's so fat and perfect.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 00:10
|
|
|
Congrats GoreJess! He's gorgeous!
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 00:51
|
|
|
Superdawg, how is your wife doing? I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly and I will be keeping the two of you in my thoughts.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 00:52
|
|
|
Congrats GoreJess, he's beautiful!
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 00:57
|
|
|
nah.
Lullabee fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Mar 21, 2017 |
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 01:01
|
|
|
An Cat Dubh posted:Superdawg, how is your wife doing? I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly and I will be keeping the two of you in my thoughts. My wife is doing fine, these days. We just need to be prepared to essentially go into the hospital at any point from here on out until the end of the pregnancy. We had an appointment earlier this week with her regular doctor's office (her doctor was on vacation, so one of the other doctors stepped in). He basically said that it's up to us where we want to deliver, unless of course something were to happen, which would force us into the other hospital. She hasn't had any bleeding since we were at the hospital last month and isn't feeling any pain of any sort, so it's really just a matter of keeping our fingers crossed. Our first son came almost two weeks early, so this one I guess just wants to set the family record for shortest time in the womb, heh. Hope the same for you as well.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 01:05
|
|
|
So I did the whole normal 4 weeks of bleeding after the baby, spotted for 2 weeks, got my depo shot, and then had a glorious 2 weeks of no bleeding. After those 2 weeks, though, I've had over 3 weeks of daily spotting- some days more than others. Sometimes only just enough to notice. Will this ever stop? Is there a point at which I call the doctor? I can't stand that I got my period back so soon. I'm breastfeeding like crazy!
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 04:55
|
|
|
quote:Irregular bleeding is the most common side effect, especially in the first 6 to 12 months of use. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-shot-depo-provera-4242.htm Sounds within the range of normal to me. And yes, getting your period back so soon is annoying. I exclusively breastfed until 6 months (no pacis, only a couple bottles total), and I still got mine back at 10 weeks postpartum, and it was back like clockwork every 28-ish days since. I attribute it to the baby starting to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time at night starting around 8 weeks, so my body said "hey, you don't seem busy at all, lets get knocked up again!" To which I said, "gently caress you, no."
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 05:32
|
|
|
Sorry I didn't reply sooner. My husband got an infection in his eye and has been feeling sick, and I'm still sick and caring for the baby so I've been too exhausted to respond. I've never actually been involved much with anything on base. My husband hates going to the base when he isn't working, even for social functions. His reasoning is that he spends so much time there that he doesn't want to see his co-workers if he doesn't have to. I can understand that, so I never argue with him about it. I know a few military wives back in VA, but they all seem to be in each other's business and there's always drama, so I tend to veer away from them. And since his in-laws live 2.5hrs away from the base, I don't think I'd be able to attend functions that much. I don't know if he'll be able to Skype often, but he said he'd more than likely have internet access, so we can at least email each other often. I also wrote handwritten letters to him every day he was gone. I know it's cheesy, but I figured it was kind of sweet and it was nice to have something to do. Putting care packages together for him was nice, too. My husband was good about keeping in touch during his last deployment, but I don't know how this will go. I was one of the lucky wives who got phone calls every few days and emails almost every day. If I didn't hear from him, it's because he was either exhausted or was busy travelling. He's going to a place that scares me more this time, though. I even joked around about getting pregnant again so that he wouldn't have to go (I'm high-risk, so he is allowed to stay home for me). But I know that's unfair and unreasonable. Not only because we're in no way ready for another baby so soon, but because it's his job to deploy and there are other people depending on him. I'm rambling again, and I'm so sorry for that. Argh! On a positive note, Stephen is holding his head up really well and seems fascinated by everything he sees.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 06:18
|
|
|
Is there an additional way to help babies develop their arm strength apart from tummy time? You can put Soren on his stomach and can see he wants to crawl and not just lie there, but because he hasn't got a huge amount of strength in his arms yet, his legs will move, shuffling him along a bit and then he'll get super pissy because his arms aren't keeping up. You get 5 minutes at the most until the yelling starts. At 2.5 months now he is still too small to start properly moving though, also he's extra super keen on standing. He's been bearing his own weight since he was about 5 weeks old - all you have to do is help him keep his balance - he's been holding his head steadily for almost the same amount of time. It's his most favourite thing to do. He just got a Jolly Jumper and we put him in it for a few minutes at a time, he loves it and goes off like a frog in a sock. It's hilarious to watch. Again, I know it's early but his head control is awesome and we watch him carefully (we got the one with the new seat design and he is firmly strapped in with elastic, velcro and a few buckles.. no way he can fall out of the thing.) Plus it means I get a break from holding his hands while he stands on my lap and jumps/stomps his feet and can actually finish a cup of tea while it's still warm. Small victories. He is still wearing most of his 0000 sized clothing still, which is nice because at least it all lasted more than 5 minutes.. nice compact little fellow.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 12:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 19:51 |
|
|
It's not just arm strength they need, it's the ability to sit up by themselves. Babies don't crawl generally until later - I think my kids were like 7 months and 8 months. Tummy time is more about strengthening their neck so they can hold their head up by themselves. I wouldn't push anything with such a young baby. He'll get there in plenty of time. Edit: I wasn't going to say anything about the jumper but their own website says 3 months if they have good head control. I would just be super cautious with a baby that young. Baby necks are so vulnerable to injury (see shaken baby syndrome). hepscat fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Dec 15, 2012 |
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2012 16:52
|
|
