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http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/realistic-nacogdoches-stroker.php I laughed myself into a headache by the first paragraph. One of my favorite articles all year. You totally nailed his tone and structure in "Watch a dying man's last breath rattle up through fleshy pipe and take form in the cold night above his head." - simply brilliant.
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Dec 29, 2012 06:48
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Honestly, this was my first exposure to the guy, but only a few hours after reading the article a friend pointed "The Road" out in a bookstore, and said I might like it. I told them I had "read some of his earlier stuff," and sent them the link.
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Dec 29, 2012 07:24
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Loved this one. Mega dittos to the author.
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Dec 30, 2012 01:10
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There was basically no chance I wasn't going to love this. The one thing that I was waiting for and didn't really see was one of McCarthy's run-on compound sentences like (opening Blood Meridian to a random page): The two of them were laid among sacks of beans and rice and coffee in the supply-wagon with blankets over them to keep them from the sun and they rode with the slamming and jarring of the wagon half shirring the meat from their bones so that they cried out to be left and then they died. Then again, I suppose those crop up more in his narrative than descriptive prose, so it might have been hard to work in. Either way, great job.
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Dec 30, 2012 01:14
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Ended up on the front page when I was trying to get to the forums, how lucky I was to spot this feature. The language used is just perfect, I felt humbled reading it. "Drawn up from perdition, a maw with no face that speaks to a man's worst intention" is art.
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Dec 31, 2012 19:51
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Having outgrown SA a bit, I only check it infrequently. This stuff makes it all worth it. Thanks Zack for continuing to write on the frontpage.
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Jan 2, 2013 16:14
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He's at it again! Sex frightens me enough already, why did I read these?!
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Jan 11, 2013 12:47
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I guess sex is an otherwordly horror of some kind. At least the Brazzers stuff is.
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Jan 11, 2013 20:25
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This is my new favorite front page series, the best since the glory days of Tooth Tooth and his eagle.
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Jan 12, 2013 03:10
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I imagine that's exactly how Lovecraft would react to internet porn. I suspect a time machine was involved in the writing of that article.
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Jan 12, 2013 05:28
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I love how in every description Lovecraft eventually claims that the act itself is impossible to describe.
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Jan 12, 2013 07:00
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That's real dedication to the form. Seriously hoping that this becomes a longer series.
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Jan 12, 2013 20:23
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I knew slogging through so much lovecraft in high school would pay off one day
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Jan 13, 2013 01:06
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Based on this, my buddy encouraged me to GIS "alien fleshlight." Boy, I wish I hadn't.
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Jan 13, 2013 07:24
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Third installment: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/thrones-games-babies.php I don't have much to say accept that this one is just spot on. I'd ask what other authors were coming but I don't want to ruin it for myself.
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Jan 18, 2013 15:32
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These are so great. The style is so well imitated and I absolutely love the idea of famous others writing such mundane bullshit.
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Jan 18, 2013 16:09
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Absolutely amazing. These are excellent pastiche works (and probably my favorite new series).
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Jan 19, 2013 00:02
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Love the GRRM one. As someone who lives in Hartford, that would be the most interesting thing to happen here in years. Also, please do take Waterbury off our hands.
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Jan 19, 2013 16:56
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I am snorting. YOU MADE ME SNORT LIKE A NERD
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Jan 19, 2013 21:39
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Dostoyevsky one was missing something about someone owing someone else [however many] rubles
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Jan 21, 2013 20:27
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http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dostoevsky-ip-riaa.php Bilbo Faggins is truly the darkest violation of the SW:TOR TOS.
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Jan 21, 2013 21:23
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Improbable Lobster posted:http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/dostoevsky-ip-riaa.php This was awesome, especially because the physical incarnation of Raskolnikov used to post on these very forums.
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Jan 22, 2013 22:00
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Franz Kafka Writes for Sodastream's Website This was my favourite yet! The only work of Kafka's that I have read is The Metamorphosis, but his voice was still very apparent in this. I think that Zack is a mad genius to concoct such ideas.
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Feb 1, 2013 16:59
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The best part of that Kafka article was the first line of the introduction on the main page, "Kafkaesque writer Franz Kafka". Perfect.
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Feb 1, 2013 18:41
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gently caress. You just don't know how happy the Kafka stories made me! SORRY I meant gloomy and oppressed.
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Feb 2, 2013 06:34
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Zack Parsons continually proves himself to be the best writer on the internet.
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Feb 3, 2013 15:58
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The Kafka Sodastream article is fantastic, I had no idea there were more of these.
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Feb 4, 2013 16:59
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New one. I've never bothered to actually read any Rand, but this is exactly what I picture her writing style as: completely devoid of conversations and in their place, absurd monologues. As always, hilarious.
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Feb 8, 2013 16:28
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Great article. My favorite parts are the names of her liberal straw-men (Wimpton, Careslimp, Feelmitch, etc).
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Feb 8, 2013 16:57
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Zack, I hope you never stop writing these.
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Feb 8, 2013 18:14
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I once thought to myself "Hey, this Atlas Shrugged sounds like an interesting book" then I tried to read it and felt disgusted by everything inside. Zack managed to capture this feeling in the best of ways.
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Feb 8, 2013 18:24
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wargamerROB posted:absurd monologues. Not just monologues but a monologue unlike those you might have heard prior to this one
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Feb 9, 2013 06:26
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I am going to begin referring to my DVD player as "region liberated."
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Feb 9, 2013 12:08
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I have been loving these. I never even heard of sodastream before, now I see articles about cbs blocking their ad because of collusion with Pepsi and coke. Maybe next you can do Sylvia Plath, in light of her book getting a stupid new cover. Reading her stuff for a college lit class was dreadful.
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Feb 9, 2013 12:26
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Quit insulting J-List by saying Ayn Rand would be allowed to write advertisements for it. Seriously that was a great way to sum up both Rand's writing style and career. It was the perfect metaphor.
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Feb 9, 2013 20:32
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These are all brilliant, and I wish I had more friends who were familiar with Kafka because I kind of want to print it out that one in particular and hand it out to everyone I know.
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Feb 10, 2013 05:08
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George Orwell Writes for the Fatheads Website First time I've read one of these, and it's simply tremendous. If WWE Studios ever decides to make a new 1984, Big Brothershow is a must.
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Feb 15, 2013 15:34
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These articles should really be getting more recognition than this paltry little thread. While the first one (the thread title) remains my favorite, the overall quality of these articles is amazing and manages to capture the style of each writer so well it's both astounding and hilarious. Good work Mr. Zack Parsons.
Ixtlilton fucked around with this message at 06:24 on Feb 16, 2013 |
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Feb 16, 2013 06:07
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http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/nora-joyce-letters.php Amazing. When I first found out about Joyce's letters I was amazed and horrified, and this article gave me that feeling all over again. Parsons must have had fun writing this one.
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Feb 25, 2013 17:32
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James Joyce was pretty messed up. Though he would be perfectly at home on the internet.
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Feb 25, 2013 18:51
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