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Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



Man that pro wok setup looks like a loving blast to cook on.

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Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

dino. posted:

EDIT: Unrelated, but laughing hysterically: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DShEhj_DVsY
Oh this is just amazing. And so very true.

Steakandchips
Apr 30, 2009

That Minnesota video is hilarious.

Very Strange Things
May 21, 2008

ZetsurinPower posted:

Don't let GWS get their hands on this thread

(It's just a coupons thread about a sushi-making gadget. Not really that funny, but a couple people took umbrage.)

pile of brown
Dec 31, 2004
Unless im missing something it still doesn't roll it? What does it even do besides smush the rice?

a dozen swans
Aug 24, 2012
It looks like it forms a log of rice/fillings for you if you're no good at rolling it yourself. I have a friend with pretty severe nerve damage who could probably really benefit from something like this, but dear God is it really so hard for most people to roll sushi? I don't eat it much (vegetarian) but on the rare occasions I've made it myself it didn't seem like such a big deal.

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer
I don't see how spreading an even layer of rice on a mat is any harder than spreading an even trough of rice into the two sides of that thing.

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007

Reminds me of that silly plastic trowel I bought for making tamales: hands just work better.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

You're not really supposed to compress the rice too much anyway, so that thing is probably just awful. Unless you're after cafeteria sushi.

Vlex
Aug 4, 2006
I'd rather be a climbing ape than a big titty angel.



Steakandchips posted:

That Minnesota video is hilarious.

It's exactly what I'd expect you'd get if you filter five generations of Norwegians through American puritanism and church potlucks.

The guy in the video is a family friend of a friend.

edit: reminds me of a long conversation I had in South Dakota with a 3rd generation Norwegian-American who still had lutefisk every Christmas dinner because gosh darn it that's what bestemor loved.

Vlex fucked around with this message at 22:03 on Jan 23, 2013

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:
I had no idea Coupons and Deals were so serious about sushi.

Chef De Cuisinart
Oct 31, 2010

Brandy does in fact, in my experience, contribute to Getting Down.

Charmmi posted:

I had no idea Coupons and Deals were so serious about sushi.

Poorly made sushi at that. That thing sucks, learn to use a mat like the rest of us.

Happy Hat
Aug 11, 2008

He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??
That thing is kinda like mixing a sushi press and a sausage stuffer... Sushage?

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Happy Hat posted:

That thing is kinda like mixing a sushi press and a sausage stuffer... Sushage?

is a sushi a sausage? hamburger?


...sandwich?

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer
I reckon you could cram most any food you wanted to be tube shaped in there. Don't think of it as a unitasking sushi machine, but rather a general purpose food oblongener.

Happy Hat
Aug 11, 2008

He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??
The chicken cheese of the sea....

Jiro dreamed of this moment, and woke up screaming in a puddle of vomit.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

I reckon you could cram most any food you wanted to be tube shaped in there. Don't think of it as a unitasking sushi machine, but rather a general purpose food oblongener.
Brownies and fudge work pretty well with this, especially if you like nuts in your brownies

a dozen swans
Aug 24, 2012
Oh poo poo, easy two-bite brownies.

Hmm. This is getting to be harder to dismiss out of hand...

Lyssavirus
Oct 9, 2007
Symptoms include swelling of the brain (encephalitis), numbness, muscle weakness, coma, and death.
This paper production poo poo is way more stressful than I anticipated - largely because my editor is finding the learning curve rather steep. Also my first two articles sucked. If I'm gonna get food squeaked into the next issue, I'm thinking "romantic foods" would probably be a good theme. Anyone have suggestions for community college student friendly recipes like that?

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

Vagueabond posted:

Oh poo poo, easy two-bite brownies.

Hmm. This is getting to be harder to dismiss out of hand...

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't let on that I was joking, since the thought of a thick brown batter being extruded from the orifice of this gadget is an unappetizing visual.

No Wave
Sep 18, 2005

HA! HA! NICE! WHAT A TOOL!

Lyssavirus posted:

This paper production poo poo is way more stressful than I anticipated - largely because my editor is finding the learning curve rather steep. Also my first two articles sucked. If I'm gonna get food squeaked into the next issue, I'm thinking "romantic foods" would probably be a good theme. Anyone have suggestions for community college student friendly recipes like that?
Sharing recipes on that theme isn't very helpful. I mean who cares? You can get "romantic" recipes online.

Instead, imagine that you're a student and you are wasting time and you open the community college newspaper. What would pleasantly surprise you? What will you be interested researching?

Think about cheap staples that people don't always have on hand and conceivably could. Cheap things you would be ecstatic if people went out and got used to using. Fish sauce. Anchovies. Canned tomatoes. Capers. Lemons. Kosher salt. Fresh-ground black pepper. Onions.


But, basically, you should write about pasta puttanesca. It will also introduce you and anyone reading to the fundamental and incredibly important lesson of finishing noodles in the sauce you're cooking it in. If I can teach people one thing about cooking, it's that, as pasta finished in tomato sauce is absolutely delicious, cheap, easy, universally beloved, and fun. And it immediately shows people how even learning just a little more about cooking can change everything, as it's really impossible to go back to unfinished noodles once you've had the real deal. And it will also show people why those noodles at the Italian restaurant are so much better, and how easily they can get the same result at home.

No Wave fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Jan 24, 2013

Lyssavirus
Oct 9, 2007
Symptoms include swelling of the brain (encephalitis), numbness, muscle weakness, coma, and death.
The romantic angle is so they'll print it in that issue, pretty much. In my opinion, food is a strictly post-coital affair and thus has no need to be "romantic."

Pasta is a great idea, though. Simple, cheap, and a gateway food.

No Wave
Sep 18, 2005

HA! HA! NICE! WHAT A TOOL!

Lyssavirus posted:

The romantic angle is so they'll print it in that issue, pretty much. In my opinion, food is a strictly post-coital affair and thus has no need to be "romantic."

Pasta is a great idea, though. Simple, cheap, and a gateway food.
Most importantly - make sure you feel like you're teaching something important with your articles. A collection of recipes isn't very interesting - you need to think about what you're communicating with your articles.

One of the most important things if you're cooking for another person is to always cook food three steps simpler than you normally might if you're entertaining someone. The important things when cooking for a guest:

1.) Have most of your work done in advance
2.) Make sure the food speaks for itself
3.) You have red wine
4.) The portions are not too big but you have leftovers
5.) Your kitchen is basically clean before you serve
6.) You don't work so hard that you feel like you've put yourself out

If you cannot achieve these ends with your recipe, choose a new one!!!

You will have a happy day!

a dozen swans
Aug 24, 2012

Steve Yun posted:

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't let on that I was joking, since the thought of a thick brown batter being extruded from the orifice of this gadget is an unappetizing visual.

Oh, I wasn't thinking of extruding it, just maybe lining it with wax paper and using it to make a log. Of course by that point you could forgo the gimmicky tool and just use wax paper, but whatever, I'm trying to work out justifications for something that probably doesn't deserve them. And in retrospect that totally wouldn't work with brownies (I never make them and wasn't thinking about batter consistency) anyway.

So yeah, stupid plastic PoS.

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

No Wave posted:

One of the most important things if you're cooking for another person is to always cook food three steps simpler than you normally might if you're entertaining someone.

Say what now

Chef De Cuisinart
Oct 31, 2010

Brandy does in fact, in my experience, contribute to Getting Down.

Yeah, not really getting that. I can't really think of any time where I'd want to dumb down my food.

No Wave
Sep 18, 2005

HA! HA! NICE! WHAT A TOOL!
Whoops. I meant than cooking for self/no one in particular/someone you don't mind if you gently caress up with.

Chef de Cuisinart posted:

Yeah, not really getting that. I can't really think of any time where I'd want to dumb down my food.
I dunno. You can handle yourself, obviously, but how many times have I been to someone's house for dinner party for their cooking and they're just ragged and no fun and stressing out and apologizing at the table for their food. All of the times.

Hawkperson
Jun 20, 2003

I think he was trying to say that for noobs you shouldn't go for your hardest recipes with company. It's probably a sound strategy although I think my version would be more "Don't cook anything you haven't cooked at least 3 times before, or at least make that part non-essential to an enjoyable evening." Edit: sloooooowww

Also drat, getting mad about sushi in a Coupons thread. GWC is leaking.

Chef De Cuisinart
Oct 31, 2010

Brandy does in fact, in my experience, contribute to Getting Down.

No Wave posted:

Whoops. I meant than cooking for self/no one in particular/someone you don't mind if you gently caress up with.

I dunno. You can handle yourself, obviously, but how many times have I been to someone's house for dinner party for their cooking and they're just ragged and no fun and stressing out and apologizing at the table for their food. All of the times.

Most of the time I'm asked to help with the food for a dinner party, so yeah. I get what you're saying, and it's fine, but you should really emphasize more on prepping properly. For instance, say you want to do spaghetti squash. You should roast the thing whole the day before, seed and pull it, and reheat the next day either by roasting or sauteing. Stuff like that will make things so much easier. All you should have to do is fire and plate(for a dinner party).

I think it's very important for people to treat their kitchen the same as a restaurant would. Prep ahead is the most important thing you can do, so cooking doesn't feel like a chore, and you can enjoy the learning process.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Also don't cook complex dishes for people who usually eat kraft dinner and well-done steaks smothered in A1.

Actually don't cook for people like that at all because they hate food.

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.
The Japanese cafe near my office has a sushi robot that makes their handrolls and I think they taste really good :ohdear:

I would totally buy that sushi gun if I wanted to make sushi with friends who don't cook / are intimidated by cooking.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
So, for my impending wedding, my fiance has suggested that it might be a good idea that we make all the food for the reception. I agreed that this might be feasible, since I won't really have anything to do the day before or the day of the wedding until I have to put my suit on about half an hour before we get hitched, and I'll have the entire church kitchen at my disposal (which is a pretty nice pro level kitchen). Guest list for the reception is about 200 people, and I'm thinking tamales, pozole, carne asada, tortillas, and assorted fresh vegetable/fruit dishes.

Thoughts?

Chef De Cuisinart
Oct 31, 2010

Brandy does in fact, in my experience, contribute to Getting Down.
That's easily doable, as you could make the tamales the day before, asada and tortillas will be cake, and will hold well enough for ~4 hours. Veggies/fruit can be done day before, and pazole can be held hot for loving ever.

e: make your tamales with lard, if I see one more person tell me how awesome their olive oil tamales are, I will slap them with those dry rear end tamales.

Happy Hat
Aug 11, 2008

He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??

Mr. Wiggles posted:

So, for my impending wedding, my fiance has suggested that it might be a good idea that we make all the food for the reception. I agreed that this might be feasible, since I won't really have anything to do the day before or the day of the wedding until I have to put my suit on about half an hour before we get hitched, and I'll have the entire church kitchen at my disposal (which is a pretty nice pro level kitchen). Guest list for the reception is about 200 people, and I'm thinking tamales, pozole, carne asada, tortillas, and assorted fresh vegetable/fruit dishes.

Thoughts?

Holy smokes... 200 people!!!

200!

That's.... That's mindblowing!

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Happy Hat posted:

Holy smokes... 200 people!!!

200!

That's.... That's mindblowing!

It's not that many once all of us are taken into account.

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008

tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

therattle posted:

It's not that many once all of us are taken into account.

Gluten free low-fat tamales all around!

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Vegetable Melange posted:

Gluten free low-fat tamales all around!

I think tamales are already (wheat) gluten free.

mindphlux
Jan 8, 2004

by R. Guyovich

Mr. Wiggles posted:

So, for my impending wedding, my fiance has suggested that it might be a good idea that we make all the food for the reception. I agreed that this might be feasible, since I won't really have anything to do the day before or the day of the wedding until I have to put my suit on about half an hour before we get hitched, and I'll have the entire church kitchen at my disposal (which is a pretty nice pro level kitchen). Guest list for the reception is about 200 people, and I'm thinking tamales, pozole, carne asada, tortillas, and assorted fresh vegetable/fruit dishes.

Thoughts?

I wouldn't do it. And I really, really want to do it.

I seriously started considering it, and then I cooked an engagement party for 75 with heavy hors d'oeuvres. (delicious hors d'oeuvres! - duck confit rillettes, fancy deviled eggs, mini crab rolls, crudite, bagna cauda, caprese bites, more) - but it knocked the wind out of my sails for about 4 days. I was still working my day job I guess, but... even attempting the relatively meager 125 I think will be coming to my reception, I shudder.

If you even think about going any further with your plan, at least enlist the help of at least 2-3 skilled cooks for 2-3 days worth of time.

pim01
Oct 22, 2002

Mr. Wiggles posted:

So, for my impending wedding, my fiance has suggested that it might be a good idea that we make all the food for the reception. I agreed that this might be feasible, since I won't really have anything to do the day before or the day of the wedding until I have to put my suit on about half an hour before we get hitched, and I'll have the entire church kitchen at my disposal (which is a pretty nice pro level kitchen). Guest list for the reception is about 200 people, and I'm thinking tamales, pozole, carne asada, tortillas, and assorted fresh vegetable/fruit dishes.

Thoughts?

I'd say it really depends on what else you're doing yourself on your wedding day - you might assume you have nothing to do now, but with making sure everything is in place you could actually be quite busy. I thought I'd have nothing to do on my wedding day but was actually really busy the days before with meeting relatives/friends who flew over, making sure all equipment for the band was in order, getting hired kilts picked up, fetching the pig from the slaughterhouse and a gazillion and one other small things that all added up..

But certainly do it if you have someone that can do all that other stuff! Nothing worse than bland food at a wedding (except no alcohol, that's unforgivable).

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Happy Hat
Aug 11, 2008

He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??

therattle posted:

It's not that many once all of us are taken into account.

I have never been to a weeding with that many people attending...

My weeding had 40 ppl..

The largest I've ever been at was 100ppl, and that was huge..

How can you even make time during the event to talk to that many people?

Perhaps it is a culture thing?

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