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Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW
Is this Babar's house?

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Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Once it hits midnight I will begin the final phase of my Judgment Process. Having submitted counts for a lot.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch

budgieinspector
Mar 24, 2006

According to my research,
these would appear to be
Budgerigars.



Derp.

Governor_Guycott
Mar 26, 2008

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW
I've been reading your stories, and I can't stop sneezing. I literally just sneezed three times writing that last sentence. I think I'm allergic to poo poo writing.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Yeah there's a lot of bad stuff here. Lots of stories where someone tells a lie / the truth and then some other stuff happens. No real karmic euphoria of Justice Being Dealt or anything.

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022




Capntastic posted:

Yeah there's a lot of bad stuff here. Lots of stories where someone tells a lie / the truth and then some other stuff happens. No real karmic euphoria of Justice Being Dealt or anything.

You're saying that sometimes, someone getting what they deserve doesn't involve any karmic euphoria?

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Chairchucker posted:

You're saying that sometimes, someone getting what they deserve doesn't involve any karmic euphoria?

I'm saying that some people didn't make the crux of the prompt worth writing about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHVqxD8PNq8

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW
We're not doing that mandatory crit thing. Thunderdome is too fast-paced and there are too many contestants for judges to have to commit to critiquing each and every entry. Like ESB and I have said many times, the Fiction Farm is right there.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.
THUNDERDOME INTERMISSION

Bad Seafood proudly presents Man Falls Down Stairs, a play in one act.

The Players

ZANZIBAR, a man in good standing
CHARLIE HORSE, the knave, his constant companion
THE STAIRS, life's constant

Act 1

The curtain rises. Enter ZANZIBAR at the top of THE STAIRS. He is dressed in nightclothes.

ZANZIBAR
Pray thee, a day most beaut' to beholden.
To think that I should make the most of-

He falls down THE STAIRS.

ZANZIBAR
I curse thee, knave!

The curtain falls.

Fin

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Martello posted:

We're not doing that mandatory crit thing. Thunderdome is too fast-paced and there are too many contestants for judges to have to commit to critiquing each and every entry. Like ESB and I have said many times, the Fiction Farm is right there.

I return from the grave to say that I think this is dead wrong. I think at least one judge each week should man up and post crits for the stories posted. Half the loving fun of it is in reading the brutal crits of people who hosed up or getting your ego massaged for succeeding in style. I always felt it was just low-effort and generally poo poo if a judge said: This idiot won, this spack was the worst and the rest whatever. The more amusing, in-depth or creative they are, the better.

It gives people incentive to go back and read other suckers' stories because it highlights what was exceptional about their entries, for better or for worse, and thus not only do you benefit from your personal crit but also see what succeeds and what does not. Plus know your enemy and all that.

If you really, really cannot spare an hour for crits after you become a judge and you know it in advance, one of the willing 'honourable mentions' should be a judge in their place after the real winner has selected next week's topic. Then the winner can always sub back in during their 3-week allocation when they know they have the time to give crits. They also wouldn't have to sit out if the other two judges have said they could give crits, just in case one of them fails.

tl;dr: Don't underestimate how important good crits are to the 'dome.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Jeza posted:

If you really, really cannot spare an hour for crits

Crits are important and super useful but only when they're actually loaded with some care and detail. Giving that sort of attention to 25+ stories either takes a huge amount of time or is close to worthless.

I took a handful hours just to go through the stories and make some notes. Giving anything more in-depth would require a lot more time and a lot more effort. If you absolutely need critiques beyond "here's what sucked" or "here is why this won", then there's other places for that.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Capntastic posted:

Crits are important and super useful but only when they're actually loaded with some care and detail. Giving that sort of attention to 25+ stories either takes a huge amount of time or is close to worthless.

I took a handful hours just to go through the stories and make some notes. Giving anything more in-depth would require a lot more time and a lot more effort. If you absolutely need critiques beyond "here's what sucked" or "here is why this won", then there's other places for that.

Nobody is asking for more than a sentence or three. Casual note writing while going through the entries, as you say, will also save you time. If there are a lot of entries, that is why there are 3 judges. Split the crit load, one person do the first half, and the other do the second half.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

I'm of the opinion that it's usually only worth critiquing something if it's good with some flaws that need buffing or altogether bad and needs correcting. There's a lot of stories here that are simply decent, competent, and without much to really comment on. What's more, I don't think any participant would step up and say that every story they've done is at the stage where it's worth holding onto, much less developing. If it is, take it to the other thread.

It might seem harsh to say that not every story is going to be worth a line by line critique by our rotating cast of judges, but that's Thunderdome for you.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Capntastic posted:

I'm of the opinion that it's usually only worth critiquing something if it's good with some flaws that need buffing or altogether bad and needs correcting. There's a lot of stories here that are simply decent, competent, and without much to really comment on. What's more, I don't think any participant would step up and say that every story they've done is at the stage where it's worth holding onto, much less developing. If it is, take it to the other thread.

It might seem harsh to say that not every story is going to be worth a line by line critique by our rotating cast of judges, but that's Thunderdome for you.

I should probably shut up already, but yes if you want good and deeply insightful critique, you don't look for it here. Then you can go to the Fiction Farm. People aren't looking for the A-Z of how to improve. They are looking to have fun and enjoy a bit of meaty competition, while also having some crit gravy on the side.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499761&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=8#post406692362

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499761&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=12#post406947797


Nobody expects going above and beyond the call of duty like this, but it was posts like these that actually made me join the 'dome in the first place. SA is a place where high-effort posts are what makes it a decent forum. They are not mandatory, but they are worthwhile. No crit = poo poo.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Yeah, I agree that crits on the whole are good and should be applauded, but feeling an obligation to piss out three lines of "that sure was a story" for every entry no matter how bland is just going to lead to bad crits.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









quote:

I think at least one judge each week should man up and post crits for the stories posted.

I agree, but there's always at least one or two rounds of brief crits from judges (isn't there? Or did we miss one?), and there's nothing stopping contestants doing a Twinkle Cave and critting other 'domers. If you want more, fiction farm. Or win a round and you can set whatever crazy rules you like.

Incidentally I'll do a crit run on the poetry in round XXIII later today, as that's one I missed.

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Jan 29, 2013

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW
The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Creative Convention > Bitchingdome '13 - Carepost and whine about not getting enough crits here please

tldr shut up and write flash fiction thanks in advance

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
I think in terms of giving critiques, it should be anything goes in Thunderdome. If you WANT a critique (because I guess mom and dad don't love you enough and even bad attention is better than none), then go get your reciprocation on in the daily fiction writing thread.

Mostly the reason I love Thunderdome is because it's never been too codified.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

Martello posted:

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Creative Convention > Bitchingdome '13 - Carepost and whine about not getting enough crits here please

tldr shut up and write flash fiction thanks in advance


How the Thunderdome got its Careposts

In the beginning there was Strongest Man, and it was good. Strongest Man stood between the sand and the sky (which wasn't as high up back then) like a pillar, holding the world wide open for all the much smaller and weaker people who lived in the shadows of his giant toes.

One day there was a commotion at his feet. "Mewl cry whine," the tiny villagers seemed to say. Strongest man had to stoop down to hear them.

"Strongest Man!" The village leader shouted up in a bug-sized voice. "Since time before time, you have held up the sky and pushed down the earth. But it seems a little less than credible to call yourself "Strongest Man" without proving your might against challengers!"

Strongest man rolled his great eyes up toward the sky, which he was literally holding up, and rumbled "You've got to be loving kidding me." Still, Strongest Man was not one to turn down a challenge, so he set himself to the task of finding an opponent worthy of battling the strongest man in the world. To his surprise, there were many warriors who shared the village leader's sentiments.

This was to be no ordinary brawl, and so a special place was set aside for the combatants to test their mettle. The village shaman raised his crooked staff and called down a thunder storm bigger than any storm in any story from any village. Forks of lightning shot down from the sky and wove together like battling snakes to form a glowing dome the size of a mountain. This was where Strongest Man would earn his name in truth.

He did not reckon how much dedicated effort it took to hold the sky up, however. There was no way to fight within the dome AND hold up the sky. Of course, this was the distant past, so Strongest man had no trouble at all splitting himself in half. He left one Strongest Man to hold up the sky, certain that half of his strength was more than enough to silence his challengers and the village leader.

Just as Half-of-Strongest-Man was about to make his way to the Thunderdome (as the little people of the earth had dubbed it), he heard the infinitesimal voice of the village leader again.

"Whine mutter cry bitch," the man said, and Half-of-Strongest-Man stooped down to hear him better, though not quite as far this time.

"Half-of-Strongest-Man! There are raiders beyond our village, what shall we do if they were to attack while half of your attention is on the sky and half is on the battle?"

Half-of-Strongest-Man rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You're the one who---you know what, whatever." And with that, he split himself once again, so that one third of Strongest Man help up the sky and one third guarded the village, leaving Third-of-Strongest-Man with just enough strength to defeat even the toughest of challengers.

On his way to the Thunderdome, Third-of-Strongest-Man noticed a strange buzz that he had never heard before. But, he thought, there are many strange things in the world of small people. Perhaps being closer to their size is the reason I suddenly hear this buzz.

Finally, Third-of-Strongest-Man reached the giant, glowing arena. There was challengers from all lands, of all shapes and sizes. And they were arguing.

"Let it be a free for all!" Declared one beast of a man.

"No! We clearly need a bracket, else the whole match will be nothing but chaos!" Said a shifty looking warrior with a bald head and an angry scowl.

"Obviously we need to form a governing body to dictate and enforce the rules of conduct for each match," said a small man with skin as rough as a crocodile.

On and on they went, each warrior certain that there was only one very specific way to proceed, and none of them willing to compromise.

"Wait," said Third-of-Strongest-Man. But by then he'd split himself apart too many times, and his voice was barely louder than the din of the crowd. And then he realized; the strange buzz he'd heard was the sound of bickering, hundreds of tiny mouths moving so fast it was almost as if no one was saying any actual words at all.

Finally, Third-of-Strongest-Man said "gently caress this poo poo" and rejoined himself and his other self, returning to the place of sky and sand to hold the world open with all his might.

As for the Thunderdome, they say that to this day you can STILL hear the buzz of the combatants, who by all accounts think they are still waiting to do battle and prove themselves against strongest man. No one has tried to dissuade them, since they seem perfectly content to obliviously blather at each other for no reason at all.

And that, children, is how the Thunderdome got its careposts.

Sitting Here fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Jan 29, 2013

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

"Am I doing this right?" the neon limned warrior shouted from atop his screeching hover-lance.

The other combatants were phasing across the battlefield, obliterating each other with precision charges of force or direct application of physical brutality.

"Please, can I get some feedback?" the warrior signaled with upraised hands, letting his unthinking steed stall near the outer edges of the battle.

None of the combatants, with their minds focused through their devices to seek only the bloodshed of their foes, could even recognize the slow warrior as a target.

swaziloo
Aug 29, 2012
There's a moral in here somewhere, if I'm not mistaken.

Sitting Here posted:

This was to be no ordinary brawl, and so a special place was set aside for the combatants to test their meddle.

You mean mettle. Also, typically, Earth. Just some helpful critique, so it'll be ready for submission.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

swaziloo posted:

There's a moral in here somewhere, if I'm not mistaken.


You mean mettle. Also, typically, Earth. Just some helpful critique, so it'll be ready for submission.

Ah, I just like the Pink Floyd album too much I think. As for Earth, they didn't have capital E's back then or something

Canadian Surf Club
Feb 15, 2008

Word.
Thunderdome is a honeypot and we are but its bees

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

A young man from the village tread lightly through a desolate valley, knowing that his steps could not be tracing any lines on any map, save for what the elders spoke of. After a day and of walking through piles of stone which tripped the foot and laid traps for the ankle, and a night of laying awake amidst reeds which might hide snakes or poisonous insects, the man completed his journey. They found themselves at a small hut. Summoning up their courage, they knocked. They exhaled much of their courage when the old man, said to be wiser than any, answered.

Finding the man's wrinkled face to be expectant, the young fellow could do nothing but explain his predicament: "I am from the village. A matter of some importance lay heavy upon my heart. Our village has grown quite large after many generations, and our need for water is great. It is nourishing, as you know, and none can live without it. It is focal to our way of life, and to our spiritual growth. Our well, which was once center to our village, is over-used. Many cannot justify spending time to abandon their posts to reach it, multiple times a day, to fill their buckets and dishes. But we are simple folk; scribes and scholars. We know nothing of the way of well digging. We require your help to know how to cut into the soil, deep and true. We need the knowledge of how to quarry stones, to provide a solid framing for the well. We need you to share this wisdom with us, as well as the wisdoms of well-digging that we surely do not know we lack."

The old man, with the face worn and eroded into the hard pan look of a once youthful valley dried up for ages, sighed.

"Your village is less than one horizon away from a river. Just use that."

The young man was enlightened.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
and lo, they realised they were writing fanfiction of one-another and bowed their heads in shame.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

None were free of the sickness's grip, though all were too fevered to see it.

twinkle cave
Dec 20, 2012

THUNDERBRAWL LOSER
So did someone grasp the glorious prize this week or ???? Was everyone killed in the bitch storm.

I nominate sitting here's fan fic of TD if no decisive winner can be decided.

I need a prompt dammit. I'm getting all shaky for want of a prompt. Where's this weeks prompt? Thank you.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

The other members of the triumvirate hain't responded to messages sent last night, so I might have to pull the trigger pretty soon. If I don't have responses by the time I get back from work (around 10 hours from this time), I'll go rogue and take the shot.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

twinkle cave posted:

So did someone grasp the glorious prize this week or ???? Was everyone killed in the bitch storm.

I nominate sitting here's fan fic of TD if no decisive winner can be decided.

I need a prompt dammit. I'm getting all shaky for want of a prompt. Where's this weeks prompt? Thank you.

Pretty sure there might be a few bits of prompt scattered on the floor. Oh wait that's just carpet freshener. You could probably still snort it and get a little bit high I mean what were we talking about again?

V for Vegas
Sep 1, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Capntastic posted:

The other members of the triumvirate hain't responded to messages sent last night, so I might have to pull the trigger pretty soon. If I don't have responses by the time I get back from work (around 10 hours from this time), I'll go rogue and take the shot.

10 hours? I'll be dead in 10 hours without a prompt.

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW
He's the OP dude, so it looks like we'll have it all together whenever he gets home.

I'm getting close to done and will have my picks sent and comments posted once my chili is cookin'

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

Capntastic posted:

The other members of the triumvirate hain't responded to messages sent last night, so I might have to pull the trigger pretty soon. If I don't have responses by the time I get back from work (around 10 hours from this time), I'll go rogue and take the shot.

I've been getting a battery of blood tests and vaccinations for work so I've lost a pretty decent amount of blood and my arms are a needle-point roadmaps right now. My decision is "I agree with whatever the captain says because everything is spinning so gently caress decision making."

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

This week was a boneyard, picked clean of most nourishing bits. I wanted to sink my teeth into something. I wanted to savor the brine of souls being damned or washed clean or struggling against the compulsion to do either. There was very little fresh meat to sustain my fellow judges and myself, outside of a few scraps of dessicated flesh, we found quite a bit of maggot ridden offal.

For providing us with the absolutely gut-sickening line of '“HOW!?” shouts the enraged Austrian, ', which is all caps, uses an interrobang, telling us the guy is enraged while also telling us he's shouting, our loser this week is CancerCakes.


Meanwhile, for providing us with a well paced story with some fresher-than-average gore blasted details, while really embracing the "Gets What They Deserve" concept, I present this image I found

to this week's winner, Stone of Madness.

I'll pick over the rest of the corpses later.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

Capntastic posted:

For providing us with the absolutely gut-sickening line of '“HOW!?” shouts the enraged Austrian, ', which is all caps, uses an interrobang, telling us the guy is enraged while also telling us he's shouting, our loser this week is CancerCakes.


lol

neonnoodle
Mar 20, 2008

by exmarx
THUNDERDOME RADIO RADIO RADIO!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol5RpDEzLzY

It is quite apropos that you're being encouraged to submit your writing to an audio magazine -- for this challenge you have to submit audio recordings instead of text. Read your own work aloud or ask one of the voice actors for a favor.

Length: 5 minutes or less.

Prompt: A woman and her nephew.

Signup Deadline: Friday, 2/1/13, 11:59pm EST
Submission Deadline: Saturday, 2/2/13, 11:59pm EST

Judges: Me and the ghost of Orson Welles.

neonnoodle fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Jan 30, 2013

Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW
I'm in even though I can't win. I just think you all should listen to me try to read while drunk.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Erik Shawn-Bohner posted:

I'm in even though I can't win. I just think you all should listen to me try to read while drunk.

In. I will destroy you all.

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Erik Shawn-Bohner
Mar 21, 2010

by XyloJW
also, ya'll should pop out a piece you haven't published (but hopefully have worked on) to here http://www.kenyonreview.org/contests/short-fiction/

<1200 words, free, and a big name mag. Just do it for kicks and don't get your hopes up. Try to get it nice and polished and follow the rules/format though because they're kinda swanky.

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