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Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

vyst posted:

I'm Laura Pruden.

Laura Pruden is a bitch and a half and I hope someone puts sugar in her gas tank.

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PenguinKnight
Apr 6, 2009

I am getting really sick of the Galaxy Note ad with the indie gaming dev team making that unicorn game. It's way too drat long, and everyone involved is obnoxious as hell.

PenguinKnight fucked around with this message at 05:36 on Feb 25, 2013

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

This came on during the Oscars and it owns beyond belief.

http://greypouponchase.com/

ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together

DrBouvenstein posted:

"I'm Laura Pruden, and this is my last phone bill."

"My last phone bill!"

Yes, because Vonage is free!

Tin Miss
Apr 8, 2009

Meow
I just saw another one of those "Mexican people are literally retarded" Old El Paso commercials.

I'd like to think that the marketing idea was less racist than it seems and they were simply trying to make it out like the little girl is the Einstein of her dumb town and not that Mexican people in general are so stupid they can't figure out how to cool a taco, but I'm probably giving them too much credit.

I also hate the variation with the intricate taco-holding contraption and the little kid's genius suggestion of just making flat bottomed tacos instead.

DrBouvenstein
Feb 28, 2007

I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Rirse posted:

Don't forget the worst part, the fricking WOOHOO WOOHOO song stolen from Kill Bill part 1. The Vonage ads has forever ruined that song for me.

Uhh...

DrBouvenstein posted:

*Cue stupid, P.O.S. "woo hoo hoo" song that was only popular because of Kill Bill


And re: 911, from what I understand, when you dial it, it works, but you don't get real 911, you get something like "Vonage Emergency Service Center" and they either connect you to really 911 in your area, or just relay your info.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Tin Miss posted:

I'd like to think that the marketing idea was less racist than it seems and they were simply trying to make it out like the little girl is the Einstein of her dumb town and not that Mexican people in general are so stupid they can't figure out how to cool a taco, but I'm probably giving them too much credit.

Let's face reality: a folded tortilla cannot be stood up and Mexicans (or the Aztecs maybe?) invented them.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer

Sash! posted:

Let's face reality: a folded tortilla cannot be stood up and Mexicans (or the Aztecs maybe?) invented them.

I believe it happened like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=wjNqlhPFc4Y#t=83s

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Apparently Taco Bell has just decided to put out all their commercials now with Spanish language versions of songs. The newest one is for the Cool Ranch Doritos Taco which uses a crappy version of Lionel Richie's "Hello."

Vicas
Dec 9, 2009

Sweet tricks, mom.

muscles like this? posted:

Apparently Taco Bell has just decided to put out all their commercials now with Spanish language versions of songs. The newest one is for the Cool Ranch Doritos Taco which uses a crappy version of Lionel Richie's "Hello."

I like how they're mostly picking songs with fairly easily recognizable words that even non-spanish speakers would pick up on (well okay, the FUN song maybe less so). It's such a weird campaign.

AFewBricksShy
Jun 19, 2003

of a full load.



PenguinKnight posted:

I am getting really sick of the Galaxy Note ad with the indie gaming dev team making that unicorn game. It's way too drat long, and everyone involved is obnoxious as hell.

Seconded. I was hoping they would be done, but last night during the Oscars they had a new one.

a_gelatinous_cube
Feb 13, 2005

raditts posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hghHreUKMLo

Does that kid really have... a flat top? What decade was this commercial filmed in?

Hope you liked the 90's, because here comes to 90's retro train.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.


AFewBricksShy posted:

Seconded. I was hoping they would be done, but last night during the Oscars they had a new one.

And you just know when that series of ads is over, they're going to release some real life Stupid loving Unicorn Game because they're just that tone-deaf as to how nobody likes those god damned commercials.

Rirse
May 7, 2006

by R. Guyovich

raditts posted:

And you just know when that series of ads is over, they're going to release some real life Stupid loving Unicorn Game because they're just that tone-deaf as to how nobody likes those god damned commercials.

And it would be fitting if it was for the iPhone.

Beeb
Jun 29, 2003

Good hunter, free us from this waking nightmare

raditts posted:

And you just know when that series of ads is over, they're going to release some real life Stupid loving Unicorn Game because they're just that tone-deaf as to how nobody likes those god damned commercials.

"We need to take a quick sidebar..."

You need to take a quick bar to the side of your skull is what you need. :fuckoff:

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
The AV Club has a very nice dissection of some of DirectTV's annoying recent ads:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/directtvs-ad-campaign-wants-to-make-you-hate-cable,92977/

In particular the whole bit with the sexy lady genie stands out. They tried to integrate sex appeal into the campaign in the clumsiest way possible.

Kimmalah
Nov 14, 2005

Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.


I can't stand the commercial for Dish Network's "Hopper" thing going around right now. Two guys sitting on a park bench watching a basketball game on a smartphone in a tiny entertainment center talking about how "it's just like watching the game at home!" Except the phone's screen is so small that all the players look like loving ants and you can barely tell what sport they're even playing. But yeah man, just like watching it on TV at home. :downs:

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.


Okay, I had to look this commercial up just to be sure that they didn't forget to finish it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGSCl3KLlEU

Because where I live I've seen it a few times, and every time it abruptly ends 18 seconds in. Is this just limited to the retarded TV stations where I live or has anyone else experience this?

Maxwell Lord posted:

The AV Club has a very nice dissection of some of DirectTV's annoying recent ads:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/directtvs-ad-campaign-wants-to-make-you-hate-cable,92977/

In particular the whole bit with the sexy lady genie stands out. They tried to integrate sex appeal into the campaign in the clumsiest way possible.

The part that baffles me even more than the dishonest Mac/PC-esque claims about what "cable" can and cannot do is why the "genie" girl is wearing bubble wrap.

raditts fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Feb 26, 2013

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
It does seem like the cable/dish wars are getting as ridiculously overwrought as the cola wars, or that one time when collect call services were all trying to outdo each other. They're at each other's throats and the average person at home has no apparent reason to care.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Maxwell Lord posted:

It does seem like the cable/dish wars are getting as ridiculously overwrought as the cola wars, or that one time when collect call services were all trying to outdo each other. They're at each other's throats and the average person at home has no apparent reason to care.

The choice is simple: Do you really like the NFL? Yes? Get DTV. Otherwise, get Dish.

I've rarely run into a situation where I needed/wanted to record more than two shows at the same time. Right now, the only "conflict" is on Sunday nights when The Walking Dead is up against Fox' animation. However, TWD repeats later in the evening. Problem solved.

Tupping Liberty
Mar 17, 2008

Never cross an introvert.
Annoying as hell local commercial. The concept is actually kind of funny (at least once) but the grating lady at the beginning saying "We're lost. We're lost. We're lost." What are you, a 5 year old? And I swear this comes up on every station. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6Z4teA9f1s

BaronVonVaderham
Jul 31, 2011

All hail the queen!
I can't find the commercial anywhere because I wasn't paying attention enough to note the brand, but the epic stupidity caught my ear. I just heard an ad for lotion that said it was "created by experts in skin genomics".

We're at the point of just blatantly making poo poo up that they think sounds impressive.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something
Even if you don't make poo poo up, it's the same reason every low paid saleperson is actually a "sales associate", and ever person performing a minimally skilled job is a "technician". While most people don't give a poo poo, there's that certain segment of the working population that actually gives a drat that their job title sounds impressive and means something beyond just being a name.

Hell, I was walking past the cosmetics counter at a store a few weeks ago, and the makeup girl had a name tag identifying her as a "Pigmentation Artisan & Technician".

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Even if you don't make poo poo up, it's the same reason every low paid saleperson is actually a "sales associate", and ever person performing a minimally skilled job is a "technician". While most people don't give a poo poo, there's that certain segment of the working population that actually gives a drat that their job title sounds impressive and means something beyond just being a name.

Hell, I was walking past the cosmetics counter at a store a few weeks ago, and the makeup girl had a name tag identifying her as a "Pigmentation Artisan & Technician".

When I oh-so-briefly worked at a General Motors call center, my job title was "Customer Relationship Manager". This was specifically because when someone called bitching about :

- their lemon of a car
- the mechanic at the dealership who gouged their leather seat with the wrench in his back pocket
- someone putting the wrong part in their transmission causing another $1500 of repairs
- a voided warranty because the air filter they personally installed ruined the turbo on their brand new Corvette

... or any number of other things and were unhappy with what I was telling them and wanted to speak to someone higher up, I was told to respond with "I AM a manager". See, it was right in my job title!

Shockingly, this worked a vast majority of the time.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


There's some weight loss commercial that drives me nuts because the lady says "scientists discovered a capsule." Like we're down in a cave, mining whole pills right out of the Earth.

mwells_cubed
Aug 7, 2003

WOW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIlENQELHJk

I've seen this fathead commercial about 15 times this morning and I'm at my loving wits' end.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


So Dish's new commercial for "The Hopper" is blatantly lying to people. They show a bunch of people streaming things to their phones/tablets at the same time while at the bottom of the screen in small print point out that you can really only stream to one device at a time.

404GoonNotFound
Aug 6, 2006

The McRib is back!?!?

muscles like this? posted:

So Dish's new commercial for "The Hopper" is blatantly lying to people. They show a bunch of people streaming things to their phones/tablets at the same time while at the bottom of the screen in small print point out that you can really only stream to one device at a time.

Does this mean Recliner Toilets don't exist either? :ohdear:

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
I'm pretty sure the Capital One commercial with that stupid little girl whose voice I'm pretty sure is dubbed over by a woman trying to sound like a little girl complaining to Jimmy Fallon about extra cash is my own personal hell.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
Only a matter of time before Dish Network starts claiming that customers can stream live TV on their pacemakers.

Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006

I completely stopped watching cable, or any live television for the matter, so I've been enjoying my ignorance of current commercials. But catching up on Raising Hope on Hulu+ has made me loathe McDonald's even more thanks to their Fish Bites ad.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Detective No. 27 posted:

I completely stopped watching cable, or any live television for the matter, so I've been enjoying my ignorance of current commercials. But catching up on Raising Hope on Hulu+ has made me loathe McDonald's even more thanks to their Fish Bites ad.

FISHAY FISHAYYYYYYYY

FISHY MCBITES MCBITES

FISHY MCBITES MCBITES

(It's not even real fish)

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



muscles like this? posted:

So Dish's new commercial for "The Hopper" is blatantly lying to people. They show a bunch of people streaming things to their phones/tablets at the same time while at the bottom of the screen in small print point out that you can really only stream to one device at a time.

You mean the Hoppah?

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.


Detective No. 27 posted:

I completely stopped watching cable, or any live television for the matter, so I've been enjoying my ignorance of current commercials. But catching up on Raising Hope on Hulu+ has made me loathe McDonald's even more thanks to their Fish Bites ad.


There are few things I find more nauseating than "chicken nuggets but fish."
gently caress Lent for making lovely restaurants resort to this kind of thing and then powerbomb us with ads for them.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003

The Old Navy flight commercial with the quote:

I need a verbal yes.

Means nothing, it means nothing in any context of that ad and it pisses me off.

Vicas
Dec 9, 2009

Sweet tricks, mom.

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I'm pretty sure the Capital One commercial with that stupid little girl whose voice I'm pretty sure is dubbed over by a woman trying to sound like a little girl complaining to Jimmy Fallon about extra cash is my own personal hell.

Watching/listening to Jimmy Fallon is physically painful for me so I know what you mean.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde

Mister Kingdom posted:

The choice is simple: Do you really like the NFL? Yes? Get DTV. Otherwise, get Dish.
Or own a PS3 and subscribe to Sunday Ticket on that and have cable if you want.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


raditts posted:

There are few things I find more nauseating than "chicken nuggets but fish."
gently caress Lent for making lovely restaurants resort to this kind of thing and then powerbomb us with ads for them.

It doesn't even make sense to me as a Catholic.

There's only about 67 million of us in the US. Easily half don't care enough to bother with the fish thing. So you've got 35 million people that have to figure out where to get 16 meals (lunch and dinner on Ash Wednesday and seven Fridays) that can't have meat. Literally any American already knows the McFish exists anyhow. Of those..560 million meals eaten by those people, how many does you figure are going to be at McDonalds? Probably not enough to justify the ad campaign.

Or I could be horribly wrong and McDonald's, one of the most successful companies in history, has better data than I do.

For the record, the last time I had McDonalds, or any fast food, on a Lenten Friday was in 1995. Not sure why I remember that day so vividly, but I do.

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

Sash! posted:

It doesn't even make sense to me as a Catholic.

There's only about 67 million of us in the US. Easily half don't care enough to bother with the fish thing. So you've got 35 million people that have to figure out where to get 16 meals (lunch and dinner on Ash Wednesday and seven Fridays) that can't have meat. Literally any American already knows the McFish exists anyhow. Of those..560 million meals eaten by those people, how many does you figure are going to be at McDonalds? Probably not enough to justify the ad campaign.

Or I could be horribly wrong and McDonald's, one of the most successful companies in history, has better data than I do.

For the record, the last time I had McDonalds, or any fast food, on a Lenten Friday was in 1995. Not sure why I remember that day so vividly, but I do.

Fish is also supposed to be "healthy" so it also pushes to those people who are dumb enough to believe it while being lazy enough to not just buy their own fish.

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SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

I'M FEELING JIMMY

Gonz posted:

FISHAY FISHAYYYYYYYY

FISHY MCBITES MCBITES

FISHY MCBITES MCBITES

(It's not even real fish)

One of the first times my friend and I saw this commercial, when they said "Fish McBites are succulent", I was trying to change the channel and we heard "Fish McBites will suck you like...", and were very confused. Now we have a good laugh every time it comes on.

It looks like the Samsung Unicorn Apocalypse commercials are finally coming to a close, but the last one is actually my least favorite of the batch because it isn't even about the things the phone can do. Just that it's cool, and that everyone should have one.

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