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Decoy Badger
May 16, 2009
That drawing is simply amazing. I'm almost convinced that every last aspect of this "novel" is an elaborate parody of itself.

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evil_cheese
Sep 11, 2002
I AM A LIAR
I am upset about "THE CAT" being killed. I like how it is introduced as "the cat" out of nowhere.
But i guess if i was bitten by a were coaster i might be pissed off as well? Why is he so angry at all the people if roller coaster are made to be ridden around by people?

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

You shouldn't bother keeping a count of the typos; I could probably double the number you got from chapter 4 if I were of a mind.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Mercedes posted:



I'm so giddy. This book is awesome in it's awfulness!

Quoting Mercedes' dramatic reading of Chapter 4 for the new page.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009
He's not even a roller coaster. He's a roller coaster train.

VictualSquid
Feb 29, 2012

Gently enveloping the target with indiscriminate love.

attackbunny posted:

He's not even a roller coaster. He's a roller coaster train.
Obviously he will end up meeting a cute roller coaster track.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Our protagonist has so far accomplished the following:

1) Killed a cat
2) Wrecked a bar
3) Almost killed the angered bar owner
4) Attacked the police who came in response to the chaos

Railrunner is kind of an rear end in a top hat.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

evil_cheese posted:


I am upset about "THE CAT" being killed. I like how it is introduced as "the cat" out of nowhere.



Not out of nowhere - it's the cat that had snatched his car keys earlier in the scene, just before the transformation sequence began.

quote:

I went to the back of the bar where my car was parked and started to fiddle with my keys. My hands shook terribly, making me drop them to the pavement. Before I could pick them up, a cat ran from under my car and snatched the keys with his mouth. He then vanished into the darkness. I looked up thinking what next and saw the moon.

Not The Wendigo
Apr 12, 2009

SSNeoman posted:

Our protagonist has so far accomplished the following:

1) Killed a cat
2) Wrecked a bar
3) Almost killed the angered bar owner
4) Attacked the police who came in response to the chaos

Railrunner is kind of an rear end in a top hat.

Railrunner, we need you to stop the evil badguy from destroying amusement park land! But first you must KILL YOUR FRIENDS DRINK THEIR BLOOD SWEET BLOOD DELICIOUS BLOOD TASTE THEIR FLESH BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!

gey muckle mowser
Aug 5, 2003

Do you know anything about...
witches?



Buglord

JosephWongKS posted:

Not out of nowhere - it's the cat that had snatched his car keys earlier in the scene, just before the transformation sequence began.

Has a cat ever actually done this? My cat will occasionally pick something up in her mouth, but only after beating it around with her paws first. Does he use a dead mouse for a keychain?

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




Daveski posted:

Has a cat ever actually done this? My cat will occasionally pick something up in her mouth, but only after beating it around with her paws first. Does he use a dead mouse for a keychain?

I find that hilarious to me. My cats couldn't care less if I dropped my keys on the ground. I would think a stray cat would be afraid of the large lumbering human to even think about getting close to the keys.

Pseudodude
Aug 26, 2012
What if the cat was Railrunner's spirit guide, and now he's got no-one to rein in his destructive urges? :ohdear:

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!

Pseudodude posted:

What if the cat was Railrunner's spirit guide, and now he's got no-one to rein in his destructive urges? :ohdear:

Don't worry. I'm sure Rodney can keep his adventure on the rails.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




alcharagia posted:

Don't worry. I'm sure Rodney can keep his adventure on the rails.

I'm pretty certain that Rodney's new coworkers will throw him for a loopty loop.

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!

Mercedes posted:

I'm pretty certain that Rodney's new coworkers will throw him for a loopty loop.

Yes, but will he care to sell his dark secrets?

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Mercedes posted:

I'm pretty certain that Rodney's new coworkers will throw him for a loopty loop.

I'm sure they'll be launching him into a brand new adventure before long. Hopefully the current situation won't be left standing for very long, or else he might wind up suspended before even starting his first day. That'd be one hell of an inversion, let me tell you.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 5 – As the Night Rolls on

quote:

Railrunner ran in the shadows. Blood was caked on his wheels, but he took no notice. He ran fast, faster than a car at top speed.

I’d be grateful if an engineer-goon could calculate how much noise, dust and general environmental destruction would be caused by a 20-tonne were-roller-coaster running “faster than a car at top speed”


quote:

He ran with the moon, spirited and free. He took in the air around him. Smells of animals and vehicles reached his nostrils.

What would be cliché in a werewolf story magically becomes utterly inspired and hilarious when transplanted into a story about a 20-tonne were-roller-coaster.


quote:

He could hear anything and everything. Then a somehow familiar scent made him stop, sniff the air, and then change direction. He barreled through the woods, leaping over obstacles as if they were nothing. After he ran as a blur against the forest foliage, Railrunner finally found the scent’s source, a dairy farm.

There aren’t too many roller coasters in my part of the world. Could the American goons confirm whether theme parks and such are typically situated next to agricultural facilities?


quote:

Back at the bar, cops investigated the area. Detective Black walked up to one of the injured officers. He lit up one of his favourite brands of cigarettes and got eye level to the man.

Instead of just “his favourite brand” or “a cigarette” or just naming the brand, it had to be “one of his favourite brands of cigarettes”. Truly no effort was spared in the writing of this book.


quote:

“So, did you see what did all of this?” he said blowing out a puff of smoke.

Have a heart, man! Your subordinate is injured in the course of duty and you blow smoke in his face when he’s still bleeding all over the ground!


quote:

“I have no Idea . [JWKS: “Idea” was spelt with a capital “I”] All I can remember was a squad car coming at me.” The plump man replied as he kept a hand to his throbbing head.

Black rose up and turned to one of his colleges [sic]. “Does anyone else involved have a brief description of what our suspect looks like?”

Why the insistence on a “brief” description? Do you not have the time for a full or lengthy one?


quote:

A tall officer waved at Detective Black [JWKS: No full stop] “Yes the owner was also involved.” He said pointing to a short bald man sitting on the steps that led to the bar’s entrance. Then Black approached the bar keeper with his eyes very dark with frustration. The bar’s demolition made no sense. It had been obliterated in record time, without explosives. Nothing seemed to add up.

Do eyes usually turn dark when one is frustrated? And isn’t it rather early to be frustrated at the progress of the investigation? You just arrived at the scene and interviewed a grand total of one person, dude.


quote:

“What did you see Mr. Calloway?” the detective demanded in a firm yet pensive tone as he got eye level to the owner.

Mercedes, please make an attempt at a “firm yet pensive” tone when you do a dramatic reading of Detective Black’s lines in this chapter.

Also, what’s with the fixation on pointing out Detective Black getting to “eye level” with other people? Is the author traumatized by an early childhood experience with people talking to her, or failing to talk to her, at eye level?


quote:


The exhausted man sat silently for a brief minute before he answered with his voice shaky.

“You’re not going to believe this, but it was a roller coaster.”

Black begun to choke on his cigarette.

“Sir, have you been drinking?”

“Heavens no! It was a roller coaster! A mutant roller coaster! It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen! It was red and about seventeen feet tall. It had two cat-like eyes and a nose like a snakes [sic]. its teeth were like a wolves [sic] and it could roar like a tiger!” He protested.

“That is quite enough Mr. Calloway.” Black said rolling his eyes.

“Detective, I think it may be on the security camera. Here’s the tape,” Mr Calloway said as he handed it to Black.

He took a camcorder one of his assistants handed to him and popped in the tape. Then he pressed play and begun to watch. Detective Black’s eyebrows raised as his jaw dropped slightly open- dumbfounded.

“He is right…”


What was the point of the scene with Mr Calloway if he’s just going to see the video recording immediately afterwards?



quote:

Railrunner crouched low in the brambles, and crept along the boarder [sic] of the small farm. His demon eyes scanned the cows. He quietly snuck over the fence.

A 20-tonne, 17-foot long were-roller-coaster “quietly snuck over the fence”.


quote:

The cow’s sent [sic] flooded his nostrils, but the bovines could not smell Railrunner’s, it went undetected.

A 20-tonne, 17-foot long were-roller-coaster who had blood “caked on his wheels “went undetected”.


quote:

Then he saw what he wanted, a bull.

Oh god, please don’t let this be what I’m afraid it is. :gonk:


quote:

Railrunner crept closer; suddenly the beast looked up and saw him. Then the coaster lunged full force at his target. His teeth snagged its flank and he flung the animal. The bull got to his feet struggling, and looked at the coaster. Railrunner snarled and barred [sic] his fangs, challenging it. What’s the matter? You not like red? He thought tauntingly. The bull charged with his horns lowered. Railrunner extracted his claws and slashed the poor creature’s throat; it fell to its side, dead.

He stood upon the bull and sank his teeth into its flesh. Its blood seeping into his mouth and satisfying its ravenous hunger.

Oh, what a relief. He just wanted to eat the bull.


quote:

Within minutes the bull was almost bones. Then from the farmhouse, a man stepped out with his gun.

“Who’s out there!” he yelled, his voice echoing in the fog.

This is the first time this chapter that “fog” has been mentioned. You’d think it should have been raised earlier, when Railrunner was sneaking up on the poor defenseless cattle.


quote:

Railrunner growled deep in his throat. The man aimed his gun blindly, not knowing what he was shooting at. He is not worth it; I have already eaten my fill, thought Railrunner. The man fired, but Railrunner was already gone.

Railrunner is an rear end in a top hat, Detective Black’s an rear end in a top hat, and now the farmer’s an rear end in a top hat too – not even the most permissive stand-your-ground laws permit you to just shoot blindly into an obscured area, I think.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

SSNeoman posted:

Our protagonist has so far accomplished the following:

1) Killed a cat
2) Wrecked a bar
3) Almost killed the angered bar owner
4) Attacked the police who came in response to the chaos

Railrunner is kind of an rear end in a top hat.

5) Killed and ate a bull

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 14:23 on Mar 14, 2013

Bear Sleuth
Jul 17, 2011

quote:

After he ran as a blur against the forest foliage, Railrunner finally found the scent’s source, a dairy farm.

Jesus what a sentence.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

JosephWongKS posted:

There aren’t too many roller coasters in my part of the world. Could the American goons confirm whether theme parks and such are typically situated next to agricultural facilities?

Theme parks are generally located well outside of the cities, at the edges of suburbs. Noise pollution issues, you see. So yes, assuming our were-roller-coaster friend went to the nearest bar, the chances are very good that a dairy farm would be within "faster than a car" roaming distance.

Also, I wasn't going to bring it up, but an American ton is actually 2000 pounds, not 1000, and so Railrunner would be a ten-ton monstrosity, not twenty. And since a kilogram is roughly 2.2 pounds, 10 tons is about 9 [metric] tonnes.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Theme parks are generally located well outside of the cities, at the edges of suburbs. Noise pollution issues, you see. So yes, assuming our were-roller-coaster friend went to the nearest bar, the chances are very good that a dairy farm would be within "faster than a car" roaming distance.

That would explain how the "sent" of a dairy farm was familiar to our were-roller-coaster.


quote:

Also, I wasn't going to bring it up, but an American ton is actually 2000 pounds, not 1000, and so Railrunner would be a ten-ton monstrosity, not twenty. And since a kilogram is roughly 2.2 pounds, 10 tons is about 9 [metric] tonnes.

Thanks for the correction on the imperial weight system. I could never quite remember how many imperial units of weight / length converted into the next higher unit.

Railrunner's still heavier than an African elephant (8,800–15,000 lb), and he's spread out over only 17 feet of length as opposed to an elephant's 30 feet, which would make him about twice as dense as an elephant while remaining as stealthy as a wolf or tiger.

Decoy Badger
May 16, 2009

JosephWongKS posted:

the farmer’s an rear end in a top hat too – not even the most permissive stand-your-ground laws permit you to just shoot blindly into an obscured area, I think.

Obviously Joe Biden was making a cameo here.

Is there a word for this writing style? Just blindly hammering clauses into place one after another with a reckless disregard for flow?

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009

Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

Decoy Badger posted:

Obviously Joe Biden was making a cameo here.

Is there a word for this writing style? Just blindly hammering clauses into place one after another with a reckless disregard for flow?

Terrible

:v:

Piell
Sep 3, 2006

Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer


Young Orc

JosephWongKS posted:

That would explain how the "sent" of a dairy farm was familiar to our were-roller-coaster.


Thanks for the correction on the imperial weight system. I could never quite remember how many imperial units of weight / length converted into the next higher unit.

Railrunner's still heavier than an African elephant (8,800–15,000 lb), and he's spread out over only 17 feet of length as opposed to an elephant's 30 feet, which would make him about twice as dense as an elephant while remaining as stealthy as a wolf or tiger.

Elephants aren't 30 feet long, they are more like 17 feet.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






:suspense:

Also, a few questions for those who are savvy.

Why can't I get my tindecks to stream? Instead it's download only. (Of course, this sound file you can stream. WTF.)

And, anyone know of some cheap but effective microphones I can get online? If I'm gonna keep doing these readings (and I do!) I would rather have some better quality sound.

Mercedes fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Mar 14, 2013

EagerSleeper
Feb 3, 2010

by R. Guyovich

SSNeoman posted:

Our protagonist has so far accomplished the following:

1) Killed a cat
2) Wrecked a bar
3) Almost killed the angered bar owner
4) Attacked the police who came in response to the chaos

Railrunner is kind of an rear end in a top hat.


JosephWongKS posted:

5) Killed and ate a bull

I think Rodney himself is kind of a jerk.



comic quality is terrible, just like this book

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


EagerSleeper posted:

I think Rodney himself is kind of a jerk.



comic quality is terrible, just like this book

It is beautiful and perfect. I love the dapper bartender :allears:

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

quote:

“faster than a car at top speed”
Roller Coaster certainly can go faster than a car, but I can't imagine something with as much leg/toe as the caterpillar while wearing the wheel like a shoe can 'run/roll(?)' really quickly.

EagerSleeper posted:

comic quality is terrible, just like this book
Keep drawing. I demand it. :allears:

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

I've read this book. The illustrations the author has done came up a "PYF wierd thing on DeviantArt", and one mentioned that there was a book out. I read the preview and thought it was a good drinking game book. However it proved to be too much for me. And it is the only book I've ever deleted from my Kindle and my Kindle library.

But it is good to see that there is still some fun to be had from it. The dramatic reading is a nice touch.


JosephWongKS posted:

I too wish I could forget this book by drinking. :smith:

I think anyone who has ever read that book wishes the same.


EagerSleeper posted:

I think Rodney himself is kind of a jerk.



comic quality is terrible, just like this book

This is exactly as I pictured it when I read that chapter. It's a nice illustration of just how much this book is about Rodney and how self-centered he is. It's the foreshadowing Miranda never intended it to be.

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

For some reason the only review for Amazon.co.uk is a 5 star one:

quote:

Seriously original and addictive!!

Never in my life have I read a book like this and I can't wait until she brings the next one out.
Ms Leek has an amazing imagination and Twisted is incredibly original, it's nice to read something different, I mean how many other book out there are like this one?
I think the reason I enjoyed it so much as I love theme parks and rollercoasters, and the idea of rollercoasters being 'alive' and having another world is pretty drat cool:)

Also holy poo poo they paid £12 ($18) for the paperback version. :psyduck:

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


Geokinesis posted:

For some reason the only review for Amazon.co.uk is a 5 star one:


Also holy poo poo they paid £12 ($18) for the paperback version. :psyduck:

This was written by the author.

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

Dreggon posted:

This was written by the author.

Nope, they have the Amazon Verified Purchase tag on their review.

attackbunny
May 1, 2009
It's a friend of Leek's that she pestered into posting a review. They did their best to be complimentary.

"Never in my life have I read a book like this and I can't wait until she brings the next one out." I've sure has hell never read a book like this and you can hardly argue that it doesn't have trainwreck value. "Ms Leek has an amazing imagination and Twisted is incredibly original, it's nice to read something different, I mean how many other book out there are like this one?" None, for good reason. "I think the reason I enjoyed it so much as I love theme parks and rollercoasters, and the idea of rollercoasters being 'alive' and having another world is pretty drat cool:)" I especially liked it because, uh, rollercoasters.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 6 – The Next Morning

quote:


I awoke the next morning sprawled out on top of my covers. I hoisted myself up, feeling dizzy. I took my index fingers and placed them just under my eyebrows to massage the area for my head throbbed horrendously. Was I on a hangover? What happened last night? Then it occurred to me.


Credit to Miranda Leek – she’s consistent about narrating “Rodney” from the first-person perspective and “Railrunner” from the third-person perspective.


quote:


“It could not have – I must have dreamed it.” I said getting up. I didn’t feel like my normal self, I was sore and felt like I had gained weight. I looked at myself, my skin had a redder tone and my hair was a tad bit longer. My muscles were huge! They looked like they belonged to an experienced bodybuilder. Did last night really occur?


I can understand the skin having a redder tone, but roller-coaster, regardless of coloration, aren’t typically known for having long hair or large muscles. Or hair or musculature of any kind, really.


quote:


I got ready and fixed myself a cup of coffee then sat in front of the TV. I switched it onto the morning news. I got up again to get the traditional morning donuts.


Is there a name for this style of writing, where you describe each individual step of the most mundane activities in the blandest way imaginable? Miranda Leek’s done it before in Chapter 1 when writing about Rodney starting up his car:

“When the time came, I grabbed my keys from the hook on the kitchen wall and entered the garage. I pressed the red button on the panel in the dusty corner to open up the door. As soon as the task was done, I climbed into my Mustang and started the engine. I immediately switched the radio on and turned it to my favourite station, blasting the song that was currently playing. I then put on my pair of sunglasses, completing my annual routine as I shifted into gear and drove off.”


quote:


“Breaking News! An unexplainable phenomenon has been proven to be real. A video surveillance camera captured the real suspect that destroyed the local bar Snooks, the culprit is a living roller coaster!”


In order to be an “unexplainable phenomenon”, it needs to have happened at least once in the past without adequate explanation, with the explanation to come at a later point in time. I’m starting to get the impression that perhaps Miranda Leek didn’t give much thought to what she’s writing.


quote:


I spun around to face the TV, spilling the donuts onto the floor. I then ran to the screen. The news began to show the video from the bar. My heart started to beat faster.

“It was real! And that was me!” I said, my words struggling to leave my mouth.

“This unusual coaster took many victims on the night of his raid, including five police officers. One of the survivors was bar owner, Geoffrey Calloway. I was pinned in the wine fridge, and it was slashing trough [sic] the metal door! Calloway said. It destroyed the whole bar! He continued as he waved his hands in the air.


Miranda Leek has never watched a TV news channel in her life.


quote:


Another event that authorities believed the coaster committed; [sic] was the slaughter of a local farmer’s bull. It was sucked dry, it was nothing but bones, but I remember seeing a pair of bright red eyes [JWKS: No full stop here]


She’s also under the impression that bulls are made of bones and blood, such that being “sucked dry” is sufficient to leave a bull with “nothing but bones”.


quote:


“I’m screwed!” I said as my heart rate skyrocketed.

“Any information on the coaster pleases [sic] call 567-9000. There is a reward.”

I turned off the TV. Last night was real. I was a monster that killed for blood! Wait, Thunderbark, he did this to me! But yet he said I was already like this. I’ll get answers from him. I think he is expecting me, he knew ahead of time!

My pondering was interrupted by a knock on the door. I answered it. A girl with silky blonde hair stood smiling in the doorway. It was my girlfriend Clare, and at the worst possible time to [sic].


And of course we need a romance sub-plot in this absolute train roller-coaster-wreck of a book.


quote:





I hope you weren’t planning to fall asleep tonight.


quote:


“Hey Rodney, did you see the news this morning?” she asked as she twirled a long soft strand around her finger.

“Y…y…yes.” I said, choking on my own words.

“That has to be a hoax or something, that’s impossible.” She said pointing to the video on screen.

“Yeah it’s got to be,” I said playing along.

“It’s probably the doings of Detective Black, he stretches the truth a lot. Plus he used to be a graphic designer.”

“Yeah, he probably did the whole thing by computer.” I replied gulping. I could start to feel myself sweat fretfully.


I did a Google search for “sweat fretfully” and the first two results were online excerpts of this chapter, with the third result being “He Said, She Said – A Jerry Yan and Barbie Hsu fanfic”.


quote:


“Exactly, so where are you working now? I heard you got a new job.”

“Yeah it’s at Mystic Park.” I said almost biting my tongue. I didn’t even feel like saying roller coaster right now.

“Nice, well I have to go, you remember our date at the carnival right?” Clare said smiling warmly.

“Yeah I’ll be there.”

She kissed me goodbye and left. As soon as she did I grabbed my wallet and headed for the park, I was going to see Thunderbark, immediately.


Credit to Miranda Leek again – this actually sounds like a conversation that a couple could have.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
BONUS CONTENT

Credit to Geokinesis for informing me of the author's website for this book.

http://www.mirandasmagic.com/bio-railrunner.php posted:




John Lee
Mar 2, 2013

A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

Man, that coaster is a lot more gangsta than I had imagined. I bet that if it was animated, his rims would be spinning like crazy.


Edit: Also, "wittier than most."

John Lee fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Mar 22, 2013

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

JosephWongKS posted:

Rollercoaster Bio

"drinks to forget his troubled past in which most he cannot remember."

If he can't remember his past how does he know it is troubled and why does he need to drink to forget?

Iced Cocoa
Jul 14, 2011

I don't get this drawing, there is a limb beginning there but disappears, and then the rest of the body is just... hanging there.

John Lee posted:

Man, that coaster is a lot more gangsta than I had imagined. I bet that if it was animated, his rims would be spinning like crazy.

But what's more gansta than a hidden weapon of sorts?



and JSWK, have you read the entire book? I wouldn't really give her credit for changing the perspective between Rodney and Railrunner given the sins she commits later.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.







Man, the joys of doing blind readings. I did not see that portrait of the girl coming. Holy poo poo.

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JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

Iced Cocoa posted:

and JSWK, have you read the entire book?

I have not. One chapter at a time is as much as I can endure.

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